SAYS Evelina Tortul Capello of her Fabio Crapello:

“He was always a mummy’s boy, being a single child. He is tender like a mimosa flower.”
The mimosa does best outside in a southern garden. The 2010 World Cup is in South Africa. One of the venues is the Green Stadium. And South Africa has the Garden Route. And…

(Enough – ed). Pic.

FABIO Crapello: Anorak’s look at England football manager Fabio Capello in the news
“THREE LIARS ON HIS SHIRT – Fabio faces jail for perjury,” says the Star’s front-page headline.

Capello is not to be charged with the crime of not making England world beaters in an instant. The Star says Capello is being “probed by Italian prosecutors after giving evidence to a football bribes hearing. And he could face four years in jail if found guilty of lying or withholding information.”

The Telegraph tells of “millions of pounds of fines and six years in prison”.

Capello was previously found guilty, by a court in Como in 2003, of pretending to live in Switzerland in order to minimise his tax payments. However, it is no coincidence that the potential legal proceedings looming over him have arrived at this particular moment, just as he left Italy for England.

In Turin, the tax police said that their investigation into Capello’s finances came about “because he was appointed to manage England, and his profile rose rapidly”.

If found guilty of both offences and jailed for each separately, Capello could be put in choky for a decade. Jail him now and he could be talked about as the greatest manager England ever had. He’d be FABio. Indeed, jail may be preferable to football failure and becoming CRAPello.

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FABIO CRAPELLO Watch - Anorak’s look at the building up and doing down of England manager Fabio Capello

DAILY MIRROR: “Capello discovered that he really will have to earn that £6million a year as the painful limitations of his side were starkly on display. The Italian insisted he was “happy” with what he had witnessed but if that is not to be a smokescreen the FA is being robbed blind.”

DAILY TELEGRAPH: “You would expect nothing less from England’s King of Bling. Intriguingly Lilian Thuram, the France captain, celebrated the fact that he was winning his 138th international cap by wearing black boots. But then Thuram has got plenty of gold back home. After all, unlike Beckham, he has won both World Cup and European Championship medals in his time with France. And, unlike Beckham, Thuram still plays proper football, with Barcelona.”

THE INDEPENDENT: The France coach, Raymond Domenech, said the match had been a “test against a good side. I think it was more of an ‘intelligent’ match than a spectacular game,” he explained. “It was very tactical, perhaps industrious more than entertaining, but it was a solid performance. We worked hard, but we can play better. But a match won is always better than a match lost.”

It is a line Capello would have liked to have used.
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FABIO Capello is now well on his way to becoming Fabio Crap-ello the man who brought down English football and scarred a nation - for ever!

And that could mean trouble for Michael McElinney, who is now Capello’s official look-alike.
Capello impersonators can earn up to £350 a time, says the Express in a piece entitled “Absolutely Fabio-lous”.

Says McElinney: “I don’t speak a world of Italian but if Mr Capello is going to learn English in a month who is to say I can’t learn it?”

Well, not we who have been boning up on our Itanglish or Englaly. Key phrase to look out for: “We cannot pasta the ball”, “Eye-Tai (should England play Thailand), “Eye-Tie” (a draw) capo” and “E IO Adio”…