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“IT all started with a drama over peas. A very, very small portion of whatever vegetable the rest of us were eating was placed nonchalantly by me on my seven-year-old son Freddie’s plate.”

We join the action in the Telegraph, and in slummy mummy Charlotte Hume’s kitchen diner. She’s written a book (available via, er, Telegraph books) about the A to Z of vegetables and how Freddie (F for flageolet) is now eating and learning all at once.

He’d look up at me and the bargaining would begin. I am used to him starting the bids low. “If I eat two peas, is that enough?”

“Now, Fred, there are only seven peas on your plate. Can’t you just eat them?” He starts to turn pale, slumps down into his chair and fiddles with his cutlery, accidentally on purpose knocking it on to the floor to create a diversion. I stay calm and come in with my next bid. “Try five peas. Just eat five small green peas and you can have pudding.”

Freddie is not alone. Freddie has a sister, although what with her being a decent eater and very likely not on drugs (The A to Z of Therapy) or pregnant (The A to Z of Barbie & Ken)  we do not get her name.

TIP: “The school run is the original information superhighway.”

Posted: 30th, June 2008 | In: Beyond Parody, Broadsheets, Food & Fat. Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0