Anorak

Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 30

Broadsheets Category

Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

Arrange Me A Marriage, Aneela Rahman

ANEELA Rahman is the “Asian Cilla Black”, says the Times. We have not heard Mrs Rahman sing, and the published picture shows her with mouth shut, so hiding her teeth from view. Her hair is black.

But Aneela Rahman will … READ ON

Posted: 29th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


TV Child Expert Claire Verity Questioned Over CV

“CHILD EXPERT,” states the caption beneath a picture of Claire Verity. She’s a baby expert on the Channel 4 series Bringing Up Baby.

There are 6.3billion people on the planet. Verity cannot reach them all but if she can just … READ ON

Posted: 29th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (6) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: War Is Good For The Environment

REPORTS the Guardian: “Call to use leftovers and cut food waste. Return to wartime values and reduce emissions, say campaigners.”

Why not just return to war? If the people won’t listen, let the knowing declare war upon their sorry heads. … READ ON

Posted: 28th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Tread Lightly Through The Tulips With The Guardian

THE GUARDIAN is at the a vanguard of the anti-global warming crusade, and has launched a “unique website to help readers to reduce carbon footprint”. Plug in, get your eco-PC online and know that “If we all Tread lightly we … READ ON

Posted: 27th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (13) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Unep, The BBC’s Natural Selection And Rich Africa

GLOBAL warming. And the Independent’s front page promises: “NOT AN ENVIRONMENT SCARE STORY.”

So concerned is the Indy not to add to global warming, to conserve the planet’s resources, that it crams as many words on to its front page … READ ON

Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Polar Bear Watch

POLAR Bear watch throws up a sighting in the Times. To illustrate “History of mass extinction is a grim lesson climate change” the paper features a picture of a polar bear. The bear (fluffy and white) is placed alongside a … READ ON

Posted: 24th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Headline Of The Day: When Monkey’s Attack

HEADLINE of the day: “INVASION OF THE KILLER MONKEYS” – Independent looks at rhesus monkeys in Delhi.… READ ON

Posted: 24th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fat: England’s Brave New World Of Libertarian Paternalism

“UNVEILED: radical prescription for our health crisis,” says the Independent’s front-page headline.

“LETTERS TO PARENTS OF OBESE KIDS.” As ever, the accompanying picture of the fat child is of a fat ginger child with pale skin.

“EXERCISE HOUR FOR EMPLOYEES”; … READ ON

Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (12) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I Should Coca Cola: Man Gets Chinese Tattoo Translated

“I THOUGHT it was a joke then I fond out what it said,” says “proud” Vince Mattingley. “The restaurant staff must have had a good laugh about it.” Chances are that 26 years after having Chinese characters inked onto his … READ ON

Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hillary Clinton Socks It To Pets

HILLARY Clinton used Socks, the White House cat, to show that “chilly” Hillary had a “caring, maternal side”. And then…

Says the Times: “Clinton’s treatment of Socks cuts to the heart of the questions about her candidacy. Is she too … READ ON

Posted: 21st, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Love Is Nicolas Sarkozy And…

THE Sunday Times sees “French tongues wag” as Nicolas Sarkozy separates from Cécilia, his glamorous wife, and plays the field.

As reported: “He was seen frolicking in a Paris nightclub recently with friends, among them Maud Fontenoy, an attractive yachts-woman … READ ON

Posted: 21st, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Here’s To Swallowing Government Guidelines On Alcohol Consumption

“GUIDELINES on safe alcohol consumption limits that have shaped health policy in Britain for 20 years were ‘plucked out of the air’ as an ‘intelligent guess’,” reports the Times.

We’ll drink to that. But this comes as no small shock … READ ON

Posted: 20th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Polar Bear Watch On Arctic Report Card

GLOBAL warming is good news for polar bars. At least it would be if they had agents. As ever the Independent illustrates its story that ice (cold) melts under sun (hot) with a picture of polar bears.

The rule of … READ ON

Posted: 19th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (10) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I Was There When Gordon Brown Signed The EU Treaty

“10 MYTHS ABOUT THE EU TREATY,” announces the Independent’s front page. “FOR TRUTH ABOUT THE EU TREATY, SEE PAGES 2 &3.”

It takes a brave newspaper to begin with not one, not two but three pages of European newzzzzz…

The … READ ON

Posted: 18th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Liz Hurley Unveils Her Church And Home Range

WHAT fabulous motif adorns the new kneelers at St Mary’s chapel, in the grounds of Sudeley Castle, is not given, but they are from the Liz Hurley atelier and we expert much.

But we expect less than the venue’s parishoners, … READ ON

Posted: 17th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Joanna Lumley Says Meat Will Murder Us All In The Times

GLOBAL warming is killing us all. Killing the polar bears. We need help. And who does the Times turn to? Why actress Joanna Lumley, naturally.

“I prefer not to eat food that has a face,” says Joanna, turning away from … READ ON

Posted: 16th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (17) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jesus is My Girlfreind: Tales of Glory And Bible Toys

ANORAK’S Christmas panto – JESUS Is My Girlfriend” – is sure to be a hit with one and all. And if this year’s must-have gift is any guide, the merchandise will shift faster than Gordon Brown’s buck.

As the Guardian … READ ON

Posted: 16th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Defra Wants To Snatch Our Milk

IN “Stop using fresh milk,” the Times notes that officials at the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs propose that we stop buying fresh milk and use UHT (Utterly Horrible Taste) long-life milk.

This is part of a Government … READ ON

Posted: 15th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rugby World Cup: Kenny Rogers Buy Me A Rose

IT’S the game everyone’s talking about. No, not England v Estonia. It’s the Rugby World Cup, and Kenny Rogers is cheering on the boys in white with red flashing, a red swoosh and an advert for a mobile phone company.… READ ON

Posted: 12th, October 2007 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Greater (London) Boris Johnson Is Taken Back

BORIS Johnson is standing for London Mayor. He is MP for Henley, which in estate agent speak is to the west of Fulham.

Says Boris in his Telegraph column: “And I had a flashback, and I rememberer-London school…”

Boris is … READ ON

Posted: 11th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Front–Page Scoop of the Day

Front–Page Scoop of the Day – The Independent’s: “The best scales”.

The weight is over (geddit?)… READ ON

Posted: 11th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bedfordshire Police Force Suspected Of Portuguese Links

IT’S off to Bedfordshire for the country’s criminals as the local police force is voted the worst in the land.

As the Telegraph reports, the survey by Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary employed seven forensic criteria, including “tackling crime”; “local … READ ON

Posted: 10th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (7) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Plane Stupid Make Hot Air At Manchester Airport

PLANE Stupid have been on a day out to Manchester Airport. The enlightened group who call people stupid for going on holiday and taking advantage of cheap flights “handcuffed themselves”.

The Independent does not say to what the seven protestors … READ ON

Posted: 9th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jamie Oliver’s Italian Meat Balls

JAMIE Oliver, native of Essex, is to launch “’authentic’ Italian restaurant chain”.
Anorak has been to Italy and noted that the successful restaurant chains are called L’Insalata Ricca, Brek and McDonalds.

As the Guardian reports, Jamie’s Italian will be your … READ ON

Posted: 8th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Richard Dawkins On Jews And Power

THE Guardian announces: “Atheists arise: Dawkins spreads the A-word among America’s unbelievers.”

Dawkins is Ricahrd Dawkins, “Britain’s leading atheist”. Dawkins wants to take atheism to the downtrodden American masses. It’s a challenge. “Maybe David and Goliath would be a better … READ ON

Posted: 7th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (17) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0