Anorak

Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 40

Broadsheets Category

Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

Fowl Play

‘WHEN the first torture pictures from Abu Ghraib prison came to light, we were assured that it was an aberration, the work of a few sadistic warders.

‘Hmmm. I fancy battered chicken tonight’

When it became clear that the abuse … READ ON

Posted: 21st, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Brakes On The Jam?

‘THE bad news for drivers this morning comes in reports that they will have to pay up to £1.30 a mile as part of a nationwide congestion scheme proposed by the Government.

‘I haven’t even got up to 5p yet’
READ ON

Posted: 21st, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paper Money

‘THE American press, like the American people, likes to believe that it is better than its equivalent in other countries.

Who will ever forget President Dewey?

US papers may be as dull as particularly murky ditchwater, but they are so … READ ON

Posted: 21st, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ten More Years

‘IT is 10 years to the day since a young Tony Blair, all big ears and cheesy grin, became leader of the Labour party and Gordon Brown embarked on the longest sulk since Achilles.

A picture of the modern Republican
READ ON

Posted: 20th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bear-Faced Robbery

‘THE Russians have still got a lot to learn from President Bush when it comes to fixing elections.

Vladimir Nikolayev denied having his hand in the honey jar

But if their methods are rather less than subtle, you can’t say … READ ON

Posted: 20th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Tan Man

‘WHEN Robert Kilroy Silk was elected to the European Parliament last month as the voice of the common man, he promised he would get results.

The leader of the Orange Order

But even his most enthusiastic supporters (among whom Anorak … READ ON

Posted: 20th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Don’t Panic!

‘ALMOST three years after the 9/11 attacks, the Government this morning issues its definitive advice on what to do if something similar happens here.

‘I knew it was a mistake to wear orange’

And looking at the guidance, leaked by … READ ON

Posted: 19th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pig Air

‘WE could forgive the International Olympic Committee if they treat news that London will have a £10bn east-west rail link in time for the 2012 Olympics with a degree of scepticism.

Crossrail enjoys a successful launch

As the Times remarks, … READ ON

Posted: 19th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Sense Of Fair Play

‘BRITAIN is noted the world over for its sense of fair play – and with reason.

‘We’re up here!’

Okay, so we harass a poor Swiss referee to such an extent that he won’t return home for fear of attack … READ ON

Posted: 19th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Covering Its Tracks

‘DON’T worry, the Government’s famous integrated transport policy has not been derailed permanently – just delayed for a few decades.

‘I think they got so hungry waiting to move, they all ate each other, guv’

The ten year plan to … READ ON

Posted: 16th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


TV Crimes

‘IF statistics really are worse than damn lies, the Office for National Statistics must be home to every con man, pergurer and charlatan in town.

‘If TV adds on 10lbs, how many cameras are on Vanessa Feltz?’

But they do … READ ON

Posted: 16th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The White Angel

‘JUST think – if designer babies had been possible in 1962, Vanessa Feltz might never have been the woman she is today.

Khan’s place in the German goal could soon be under threat

While such a fantasy makes anti-cloning campaigners … READ ON

Posted: 16th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Death On The Tigris

‘IF Lord Butler were a thriller writer, those who have read his Review of Intelligence on Weapons of Mass Destruction would be demanding that he finish it.

‘It’s a no-one dunnit’

The protagonists in Butler’s homage to Agatha Christie are … READ ON

Posted: 15th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ps And Qs

‘HAVING seen Tony Blair try to squirm and worm his way out of trouble in yesterday’s Prime Minister’s Question Time, we are delighted to hear that Ofcom is to relax its rules on swearing.

‘And as for that ginger wanker…’
READ ON

Posted: 15th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Space Balls

‘EVEN before the Beagle 2 probe whimpered its last from Mars, Britain’s space exploration programme was in trouble.

Blast off!

Then to the rescue came David Beckham, who stepped up to the penalty spot and sent a ball into orbit … READ ON

Posted: 15th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Butler’s Dunnit

‘BRACE yourself for a flurry of “What Butler Saw” headlines as Lord Butler of Brockwell today publishes his report into intelligence failures in the build-up to the Iraq war.

‘Get Butler – and get me out of here’

There may … READ ON

Posted: 14th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Gong Show

‘ASIDE from Tony Blair’s reasons for going to war in Iraq, the other big mystery in British politics is how the honours selection committee chooses whom should receive what gongs and when.

For services to texting

Just why did Blair’s … READ ON

Posted: 14th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Getting Away From Them All

‘WE’VE all been sitting in that remote island bar, sipping the local brew and getting away from it all, when someone walks in and says: “Fancy seeing you here!”

When in Rome…Benidorm, Ibiza, Faliraki…

Yeah, fancy. Who would have thought … READ ON

Posted: 14th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


This Year’s Brown

‘IF Gordon Brown can cut 104,000 jobs from the Civil Service payroll by 2008 and make no difference to the Government’s productivity, it makes us wonder what these people are being employed to do.

Brown plans to make one more
READ ON

Posted: 13th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Signs of Intelligence

‘HAVING studied the Government’s spending review in depth, the only code many Whitehall mandarins will be trying to solve today is how they came to be handed a P45.

‘Ever hear of a Tony Bliar, guv?’

But let’s look at … READ ON

Posted: 13th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Stamp Them Out

‘ANYONE who, like us, has just received a Christmas card from last year will have noticed the stamp.

Merry Christmas one and all

The stamp’s picture of a pissed-up teenager vomiting in the gutter on Christmas Eve is seasonal and … READ ON

Posted: 13th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Age Of Empire

‘EVERY government succumbs in the end to a desire to return this country to a mythical Golden Age.

‘Keep out of the white and into the red…’

With Maggie Thatcher, it was a nostalgia for Victorian values – the same … READ ON

Posted: 12th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Speed Gun

‘EDUCATION is only one of the tools in the Government’s armoury as it battles to turn the clock back and return the country to a better age.

A getaway car

[Actually, given Tony Blair’s oft-repeated mantra, education probably counts as … READ ON

Posted: 12th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Air Brained

‘FORTY scientists from seven British universities are to travel to the Azores today to follow a plume of air as it heads across the Atlantic Ocean.

The Intercontinental Transport of Ozone and Precursors programme’s HQ

Yes, that’s right – 40 … READ ON

Posted: 12th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hello, Mr Chips

‘WHY, hello again, Mr Chips. Labour yesterday revealed its big new plan to improve state education in this country – and it smacks of a return to traditional values.

‘I feel a real sense of pride in my school again,
READ ON

Posted: 9th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0