Anorak

Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 5

Broadsheets Category

Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

Rod Liddle Subs Giles Coren

ROD Liddle and Giles Coren are two hacks who became the story: Liddle: affair. Coren: smug, over-exposed daddy’s boy. Liddle:

By and large our intellectuals live their lives entirely free of even the briefest consideration in the national press, which is far too busy with nonintellectuals such as Amy Winehouse, Jade Goody and Giles Coren.

And here they are illuminating a story about intellectuals. File under: celebrity journalism…

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Posted: 5th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Paedos From Lamp-Posts, Hating Fiona Philips And JonBenet Ramsey

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

QUEENSFERRY GAZETTE (Scotland): “We’ve been ad”

A CONCERNED mum has spoken out about the potential hazards posed by new outdoor advertising boards. Janette Sheppard is also worried that other parents may think the boards are simply lamp-posts.

Lamp-posts, for paedos to hide behind… Like those (G)litter bins

She said: “These have just sprung up – one is outside my son’s primary school. At first glance it would be easy to mistake them for lamp-posts, but they are actually advertising boards.”

The wonders of modern technology. Who would have thunk it. Go on…

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Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (293) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann, Rosemary West And The Fear Of Esther Rantzen

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE TELEGRAPH: “Esther Rantzen: Fear of paedophiles is harming children”

Esther Rantzen has admitted she blames herself for raising fears of paedophiles to such a degree that adults are now scared to help crying children.

Rantzen! Last week the Telegraph brought us: “Baroness Neuberger: Children will grow up not trusting anyone in Britain’s risk-averse society”

Very soon everyone will be agreeing with this new premise, it being the way opinion is formed: one celebrity says something; another agrees; the media reports it as fact; all hacks agree; a woman in the Daily Mail says she disagrees; a reader says it’s “common sense gone mad”; a celebrity agrees; and so on and on…

The veteran broadcaster, who founded the counselling service ChildLine, warned that young people are now being harmed by the widespread suspicion that anyone who has contact with children could be a child abuser.

Well, they could be…

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Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (162) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


UN Plans For Legalisation Of Cannabis

IF cannabis was legal, lots of farmers would have a business and it could be controlled better:

A report on cannabis prepared for next year’s UN drug policy review will suggest that a “regulated market” would cause less harm than the current international prohibition. The report, which is likely to reopen the debate about cannabis laws, suggests that controls such as taxation, minimum age requirements and labelling could be explored.

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

Says the Guardian:

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Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


John Le Carré Defects: The Headline That Came In From The Cold

A FEATURE on thriller writer John le Carré in the Sunday Times:

“JOHN le Carré: I nearly left the West” – how the writer wanted to “defect to the Soviet Union during the Cold War” – Sunday Times headline.

“I had from time to time placed myself intellectually in the shoes of those on one side of the Curtain who took the short walk to the other… Only when traduced by your editors does it acquire such disproportionate and damaging significance” – John le Carré letters to the Sunday Times

How newspapers work…

Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Cameron Is Not Short On City Friends

DAVID Cameron says “You can bank on me”, at least this is the message the Independent relates to its readers from the Tory Party conference.

And it’s a good job that the Bank of Cameron is open, but not all that good, maybe, if Lady Louise Patten, wife of Tory education minister John, is running things.

Until recently she was a non-executive director of Bradford & Bingley, aka Bring & Buy, aka Boom & Bust etc.

And there is Christopher Gent, director of Lehman Brothers, who has given tens of thousands of pounds to the Tories.

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Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin Pulls John McCain’s Six Down Under

THE Sydney Morning Herald illustrates its coverage of John McCain’s claim that his Vice Presidential running mate Sarah Palin’s family had taken a $US20,000 dollar hit in falling stock prices made her an “ordinary Joe” in fact a “six pack” Babe…

As AGW puts it:

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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (19) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Princess Diana’s Engagement Blouse And Wedding Knickers For Sale

PRINCESS Diana’s “engagement blouse” is to go under the hammer.

Not literally, although sending shards of the fabric to all corners of the world would surely be a gesture of great spiritual meaning. For such reasons, a miniature of the Diana wedding dress made from the greater wedding dress material is to also up for sale. More miniatures may be in the offing.

The Telegraph says the engagement blouse is being put up for sale by Elizabeth Emanuel, who tells us:

“It is sad, especially for me, but I don’t know what to do with them … There comes a point where it is so expensive to store.”

Yes, what with property prices so high in London, the space occupied by a blouse can go for as much £3million to £4million.

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Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Royal Family | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tarnishing The Paul Newman Idol

PAUL Newman is dead, and the Mirror’s Sue Carroll salutes the “family man”.

Newman had six children, three from an early marriage that ended in divorce and three with actress Joanne Woodward, whom he married in 1958.

A two family man.

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Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (19) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Turner Prize 2008 Socks It To Art Buffs

WHAT’S the Turner Prize all about then? Are Cathy Wilkes, Goshka Macuga, Mark Leckey, and Runa Islam three women and a man trying to win a prize, or are they three women and man trying not to win a prize? Their surnames are listed in Reverse alphabetical order, which might mean something.

Anorak has once again entered Vomit In Sock, our installation that grows with the times and reflects the changing diet of the modern British palate: see Vomit In Leg Warmer (1983); Vomit In Leggings (1990); and Vomit In Crocs (work in progress).

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Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


It’s Grim Up North: We Own Bradford And Bingley

SAYS the Telegraph: “Financial crisis: Bradford & Bingley nationalisation will cost taxpayers £150bn.”

So says the Telegraph, which should note that it won’t it will only cost the British taxpayer £150bn if not a single one of B&B’s debtors repays their mortage..

But still, let’s try and make things sound worse than they are…

What Does B&B Stand For?

Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Margaret Hodges Bites The Blairite Bullet

IN The Telegraph Tim Walker says Margaret Hodge is planning to leave the cabinet…

Your thoughts as to why she should do so now…

Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann’s Halo 3: Selling Video Games And Making Jokes

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY TELEGRAPH: “The News Quiz”

As The News Quiz returns, host Sandi Toksvig tells James Walton why it’s lasted so long – despite the ‘galling’ low pay she and her guests receive

Is Our Maddie fair game for comedy?

Needless to say, some news stories are funnier than others. (The show, for example, steered well clear of Madeleine McCann.) Fortunately, even in the darkest times, “politicians have the most staggering skill at producing material for us”. With that 66th series about to begin, Toksvig now finds herself “terribly grateful to Sarah Palin. For comedy writers, she’s just heaven.”

EUROGAMER: “Maddie reference spotted in Bungie trailer”

Speculation is mounting that the new trailer for Bungie’s next Halo project features a reference to missing five year-old Madeleine McCann.

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Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (83) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Neo Nazi Austrians Champion English

THOSE Germans (Anorak subscribes to the Eurovision school of politiks and includes under the umbrella term ‘German’, Austrians, Swiss and some of Paraguay’s smartest districts).

In the Guardian’s article on a “surge in support for far right” in Austria threatens to make the country a haven of closested neo-Nazia (plus ca change), readers hear from one Karl Friedrich.

Karl is “proud to live in Karl Marx Hof, Vienna’s vast monument to municipal socialism. But not as proud as he used to be.”

Oh?

“We had great times here. There were artists and writers all around. Great parties. They’re all gone now,” says the former communist. “Now half the families in my block are immigrants. They can’t speak German. They can’t even speak English.”

Yeah, they can;t even speak English in Vienna. The swine.

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Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


McCartney Plays Israel And The Super Furry Animals Die

PAUL McCartney is to play Israel, and the suicide bomber will try to hit a moving target as Macca’s head wobbles this way and that.

“We have worked it out,” says the Indy’s front page

All you need is 5,000 bodyguards – £1.5million security blitz to protect Macca from security threats,” says the Mirror, in words that Yasser Arafat look-alike Ringo Starr would put to music.

But what if… what if Macca is killed?

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Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Solar Panel Rustlers And Recyling Is Rubbish

THE SOLAR PANEL RUSTLERS are a-comin’:

Solar power, with its promise of emissions-free renewable energy, boasts a growing number of fans. Some of them, it turns out, are thieves. Just ask Glenda Hoffman, whose fury has not abated since 16 solar panels vanished from her roof in this sun-baked town in three separate burglaries in May, sometimes as she slept. She is ready if the criminals turn up again.

“I have a shotgun right next to the bed and a .22 under my pillow,” Ms. Hoffman said.

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Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Knut The Polar Bear On Suicide Watch

POLAR Bear Watch: Anorak’s look at polar bears in the news…

KNUT, the German polar bear the Guardian calls an “activist” for global warming, is alive. But his former keeper is not. Thomas Doerflein has died.

THE INDEPENDENT reports: “Love story: Knut mourns his keeper”. Or as the experts put it:

Berlin Zoo yesterday categorically ruled out suggestions that Knut would experience feelings of loss as a result of his keeper’s passing. “It won’t be a problem for him,” said Klaus Lüdcke, a Berlin zoologist, “Knut has been looked after by a whole team – and for him the most important person is the one who brings the food.”

And Doerflein: “He said that he could wish the bear no better first-birthday present than permanent separation.”

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Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How Madeleine McCann And Pricness Diana Made Us Fear

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Baroness Neuberger: Children will grow up not trusting anyone in Britain’s risk-averse society”

Paedo!

Recent figures show there are no men under 25 working in England’s state-run nurseries, such is the fear of being branded a paedophile…

But no figures are given. How many men used to work in state-run nurseries? The Telegraph does not say; but it does find time to tell readers that:

“Her comments come amid increasing concerns that Government policies are poisoning relationships between people.”

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Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (190) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Illegal For Men To Process and Distribute Sperm

YOU know what you’re doing. Cut it out. It’s illegal:

Since July 2007 it has been a criminal offence to “procure, test, process or distribute” any gametes (sperm and eggs) intended for human application without a licence from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority.

Can the Guardian be right? Is it illegal to process and distribute sperm? Do men need a licence..?

Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Madeleine McCann Christian Prayer Circle Says God Took Her

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

CHRISTIANITY TODAY: “Christians pray for missing Madeleine”

Christians around the world joined in prayer on Friday for the safe return of missing Madeleine McCann and the release of all children held by criminal networks.

Do the Christians know what happened to Madeleine, then?

The worldwide day of prayer was organised by the Madeleine Prayer Circle.

Join hands…

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Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (225) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Looking To Big Daddy Fidel Castro For Love

ALICE WALKER is looking at Barack Obama and John McCain, and seeking Fidel Castro. No, not dear Che Guevara; he’s easy to find:

This is what I want for our country, more than anything. I want a leader who can love us.. But when the lights are out and I’m left with just the stars in a super-dark sky, and I feel the new intense chill that seems to be the underbreath of even the hottest day, when I know that global warming may send our planet into a deep freeze even before my remaining years run out, then I think about what it is that truly matters to me. Not just as a human, but as an American.

She wants Fidel to keep her cool at night. As Norm says:

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Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Katherine Bucknell On The Lehman Brothers’ African Pump

WRITES the Times: “After Lehman Brothers: desperate City wives“:

The real-life stresses and strains of being married to an investment banker forms the backdrop to Katherine Bucknell’s bestselling US novel Canarino; Here she explains what the repercussions are for the families caught up in the latest financial meltdown…

At last, someone to make sense of it all…

For every vanished pile there will be crying children, an angry spouse, unemployed builders and domestic help, goods left on shop shelves, flats and houses available to rent or buy, empty restaurants, and villages in Africa that don’t get their new water pump after all.

Now do you understand..?

Unravelling Allison Pearson’s Message For Lehman Brothers Sorority

Posted: 20th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Greatest Non-Sequitur Of The Decade

HEADLINES like “WE‘RE ALL F***ED” (all papers) might have led readers to believe that the world’s economy was in freefall and we were all doomed to rearing turnips as a source of fuel, housing and good, clean, honest fun.

Now the Times says we’ve been to “Hell and back”. The Express leads with “SHARE BOOM SENSATION”. “The panic is over…possibly,” says the Independent. And the Sun commands readers to “FILL YOUR BOOTS”.

We’ve never had it so good.

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

And that goes for Gordon Brown, too, who is the recipient of the Guardian’s non-sequitur of the decade: “After the crash, a record bounce – and Brown fightback begins.”

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Posted: 20th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Meeting Juliette Binoche

CELEBRITY Quote Of The Day: Juliette Binoche would lke to meet Juliette Binoche:

How can I say what my new performance will be about? It’s impossible, and there can be no diagnosis until the audience takes what they get, the medicine on the spoon…

It just happens that I’m acting because I’m in the process of meeting someone, myself, on the way back…

It is the same thing whether I’m painting or acting. The common denominator is in the movement. I don’t dance but I paint in the air. Or I don’t paint, but I dance on the paper…

Look out for Juliette dancing with Juliette on Strictly Come Painting…

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Polly Tonybee Wants Gordon Brown To Be As Consistent As She Is

POLLY Toynbee is a Guardian columnist and president of the Social Policy Association. She is a solid and clear voice, an opinion former:

“A cabinet of minnows and spineless backbenchers include many – perhaps most – who want Brown gone, but lack the nerve to act. They wait for someone else, for Brown to walk away or for a proverbial bus to save them from the task” – Polly Tonybee, Sep 6, 2008

Not to be confused with this Polly Tonybee:

“…as they stepped into No 10 yesterday, here was as decent and clever a team of ministers as ever graced the cabinet table. Two Milibands, Ed Balls, Jackie Smith, Harriet Harman, Alan Johnson, Douglas Alexander, Peter Hain and Hilary Benn – with the likes of John Denham and Yvette Cooper in attendance – present a good front. It’s certainly the most genuinely united government in living memory” – Polly Tonybee, June 29 2007

Consistency is what we’re after…

Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0