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Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 7

Broadsheets Category

Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

Sarah Palin: John McCain Endorses Levi Johnston

SARAH Palin Watch: Anorak’s look at Sarah Palin in the news…

Yesterday the tabloids looked just past Sarah Palin’s moose ears and talked about her daughter, two-wombs Bristol. Today the broadsheets notice the pregnant teen, and the BBC just stares…

BBC: Main story – she reacted to her critics with “all guns blazing”. Is that a pun? Does she shoot hawks or doves?

Says BBC Breakfast’s Louise Minchin – who addresses viewers in the manner of a primary school teacher bringing out the big felt tips – “she hit back at her commentators in the press”.

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Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Buy The Flat And The Villa For The Maddie Experience

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

Old Mr Anorak’s property portfolio is burgeoning. To go with 10 Rillington Place, 23 Cranley Gardens and 25 Cromwell Street, he can now snap up the holiday apartment Madeleine McCann was staying at the time of her disappearance…

GLASGOW DAILY RECORD: “Maddie Flat Up For Sale”

Portuguese newspaper 24 Horas said the asking price is “substantially higher than others with similar characteristics, also on sale in Praia da Luz”.

Why’s that then?

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Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (349) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Live Like The McCanns As Their Praia Da Luz Apartment Goes On Sale

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MAIL: “Holiday apartment where Madeleine McCann went missing goes on sale for £250,000”

The infamous holiday flat where Madeleine McCann vanished has been put up for sale for £250,000.

Can a flat be “infamous”? It was the flat wot dunnit?

Potential buyers could begin viewing the flat from as early as next week, raising the possibility of voyeurs keen to see where the three-year-old disappeared looking round.

Dreadful. Better to just look around the property on the Mail’s website.

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Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (334) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cricketer Carpets Chichester Over It’s Bin Policy

THE news in the Tabloid Telegraph is grim and it is dirty:

Council refuses to clean up spilt bin without staff qualified to wear wellies

Egads! Know that:

A council allegedly refused to clean up a dustbin that fell into a four inch stream because no-one “qualified” to wear wellington boots was available. An official from Chichester District Council also allegedly said that ropes and harnesses would be needed to prevent workers from being washed away.

Yeah, Chichester.

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Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Photojournalism, Politicians, Strange But True | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Alice Fishburn Finds Evidence That Sarah Palin Is Not Joe Biden

JOE Biden (Obama’s punning mate) praises John McCain (video).

Joe Biden wants to be Neil Kinnock. (Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

And the Times’s Alice Fishburn (on Daniel Finklestein’s blog) says she’s found evidence of Sarah Palin (McCain’s stunning mate) praising Barack Obama.

Only, he hasn’t. Not really:

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Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin: Black Bristol, Teenage Moms And Trig Of The News Dump

SARAH Palin Watch: Anorak’s look at Sarah Palin in the news…

BBC: The BBC is leading with news that Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter Bristol (he-he) is with child. She is pictured holding her four-month old brother Trig, the one some wrongly claim is hers.

The BBC’s Sian Williams mentions rumours that have been circulating on the internet. The BBC is the official broadcaster of unfounded rumour and teenage pregnacy.

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Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (29) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: GMTV Tears To Entertain, Jade Goody And Clarence Mitchell PR

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “Real victims who reduced me to tears”

Fiona Philips‘the woman with the whitest teeth and yellowest hair in daytime telly’ – “on GMTV heartaches and meltdowns”

Fiona Philips is fighting the tears as Helen Newlove, whose husband Garry has been murdered, is sat on the sofa to tell her story.

Tears are the new laughter.

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Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Online-PR, Tabloids | Comments (747) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming Quote Of The Day: The Sun Must Be Stopped

THE Earth is melting! Says David Adam in the Guardain:

Political inaction on global warming has become so dire that nations must now consider extreme technical solutions—such as blocking out the sun—to address catastrophic temperature rises, scientists from around the world warn today.

Block out the sun… We need fat pople now! Or a big ball of rock with a flag on it…

Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


What’s My Byline: Geoffrey Boycott Explains

“THESE days half the writers need six quotes before they can write a piece,” says Geoffrey Boycott, God of Yorkshire.

“When you’ve got byline, it should be your words.”

Yeah, quotes are for losers.

So says HRH Boycott, whose Telegraph column is touched up and edited by one Simon Briggs…

Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: The Bill, Durham Police And Gary Glitter Is Paedos’ ‘Our Maddie’

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “Maddy cops vetoed Brit help offer”

But British police have assisted in the McCann case. No?

Portuguese police turned down an offer to help find Madeleine McCann from Britain’s most senior murder investigator, it has emerged.

Emerged?

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Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (508) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Guardian’s Letter To America: Dear John McCain Voter…

ANORAK remembers when the Guardian tried to influence voters in the US or A who were too darn stooped to work out that George Bush was going to kill them all with his weather machine.

Operation Clark County would see Guardian readers instruct those colonial picaninnies, rednecks, white trash, gangbangers and creationists that John Kerry should be president and not George Bush.

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Posted: 31st, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Slapper Dash Hack Adds Up Sexually Transmitted Diseases

BRYONY Gordon, who dresses like a bit of a slapper and works for the Telegraph, is thinking about sexually transmitted diseases:

Sexually transmitted infections in teenagers have risen 21 per cent – cases of chlamydia and gonorrhoea are up, up, up, chastity is down, down, down, and while the average age to lose your virginity in the 1980s was 17, today a quarter of young people are sexually active before they turn 16.

Hacks are notoriously bad at maths, but here Bryony manages to mix up her percentages with her averages.

Can we say that in the 1980s, a quarter of young people were sexually active, as she says is now the case?

Yes, we can. But to do so would dismiss Bryony’s story and make it something of a non-story. Still, everyone likes a bit of a slapper in the Tele’s offices, so more of Bryony, please…

Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rich Man Gives Country Days To Save His Titian Art Collection

“FOUR months to save £300million masterpieces” – Times

“It’s the £100m race to keep Old masters in National Gallery” – Herald

Any reason why the Scottish paper shold focus on the Duke of Sutherland’s offer to sell Titian’s Diana & Actaeon and Diana & Callisto for £50million a piece to the nation at a discount to their £300m market value?

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Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Barack Obama In The Indepedent News

OBAMANIA Watch – Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news…

Want to know what “Obama’s dream” is?

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Posted: 28th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Plot To Kill Gordon Brown, Aka Gordan Brown

FIVE people have been arrested in alleged plot to kill Gordon Brown, or..:

The message, written in English, allegedly included a threat to target “all the political leaders, especially Tony Blair and Gordan (sic) Brown”.

A damning indiuctment of our education system, and a pretty shoddy showing for Gordon Brown, who after an entire year in power is known among alleged extremists as “Gordan”. Are all, alleged, jihadis thick?

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Posted: 27th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rednecks Under The Bed: Barack Obama’s Not Shot Yet

IT’S The Barack Obama Death Cult. It’s the fear that grips us all…

THE plot to kill Barack Obama – the Barack Obama Death Cult – sees three more persons held by police.

At least that’s what the Sun says on its front page. It’s the “plot to kill Obama,” says the Express on its cover.

There were four people, which means either one is on the loose, or else has been adopted by Russian agents/ the Far Right/ the CIA/ the Mafia/ The Taliban/ Hillary Clinton/ Joe Biden fans to kill Obama at a later date.

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Posted: 27th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Rose Ron, Murder And Portugal’s Bermuda Triangle For Missing Kids

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
SKY NEWS: “Tragic Case Of Israel’s Madeleine”

One day on from the news of Israel’s “our Maddie”, Sky news leads with “Israel’s our Maddie”. As Anorak readers know Israel’s our Maddie is called Rose Ron. Sky News – First for breaking news…

Rose Ron is missing. Rose Ron was missing:

No-one seemed to really notice until her grandfather walked into a Tel Aviv police station two weeks ago and confessed to her murder.

No-one? Subtext: Sky News didn’t notice.

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Posted: 27th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (272) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Recurring Nightmare Of Barack Obama’s Death

IT’S The Barack Obama Death Cult. It’s the fear that grips us all…

In “Target Obama: An American nightmare”, Ian Munro tells The age and its reader how Barack Obama must die:

IT IS a recurring American nightmare, a fear that haunts a nation and that has stalked every presidential candidate since the Kennedys.

Or the Lincolns. An not just the presidents, but all the candidates too. Anyone try to kill Ralph Nader? H. Ross Perot? Walter Mondale? And if not, why not? What’s their secret? And should Barack Obama model himself on Mondale?

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Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Cooling: The Arctic Sea Ice Is Melting, Or Not

THE sea ice is melting. Polar Bears are upon us. The whales are melting!

It seems unthinkable, but for the first time in human history, ice is on course to disappear entirely from the North Pole this year. – The Indepedent

See the graph? It shows the current and expected sea ice area in the Northern hemisphere:

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Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Japan Kills Whales For Global Warming Research Purposes

JAPAN does not kill whales for food or sport. Japan investigates whales and the causes of whales by removing them from a watery environment by way of large hook.

And whaling pays off. Reports the Guardian:

The team says its study offers the first evidence that global warming could be harming whales, because it restricts their food supplies.

Whales are in danger! How do we know this? Because Japan has killed 4,500 whales since the late 1980s.

Thanks, Japan. Thanks for the tireless research…

Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Three And Four Barack Obama Death Cult Members Arrested In Denver

IT’S The Barack Obama Death Cult. Arrests made in Denver.

MICHELLE Obama is telling Times readers about “our all-American story”. And Sky news screams: “Obama ‘Assassination arrests.”

What’s more American than a dead President?

To the Democrat Party’s convention in Denver, and local police have confirmed three men are being held in connection with drugs and weapons offences.

They were going to kill Obama, right? They are a cell of the Obama Death Cult and they were intending to do their worst, right?

Over in the Sun, Sky’s sister organ, the news is a little less certain:

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Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Israel’s Rose Is The International Our Maddie

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

JERUSALEM POST (Israel): Is Rose Israel’s Madeleine?

Who’s Rose? Is she a Maddie by another name?

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Posted: 26th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (215) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Stuffed Alligators Attack With A Paedo’s Lure

IN The tabloid Telegraph, readers learn of when Stuffed Alligators Attack!

Roads were sealed off as they staked out the creature, which appeared to be lying in garden bushes with the remains of a bird in its jaws.

Now read on:

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Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Remembering Ken Livingstone On CBeebies

BORIS Johnson, mayor of London, waves the flag in Beijing. And Ken Livingstone, the miserabilist former mayor Boris beat.. Is he bitter?

Says the Independent:

A fecund father of five himself, he will next day be appearing on CBeebies. “It’s about how to run a campaign about saving water. I’ve got to advise and then judge which team is the best, which I will hate.”

Happy days. We just can’t stop winning…

Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Los Angeles Residents Welcome You To London 2012 Olympics

DAVID Beckham and Leona Lewis welcome you to the London Olympics, says the Star.

Becks lives in Los Angeles, so does Leona. But what the hell, they were born in London and that will do.

The Times leads with pictures of Londoners who live in London, and a load of tourists, celebrating the arrival of the fearsomely expensive sporting event in four years time They are waving flags beating the Olympics logo – that picture of Lisa Simpson felating on an unknown IOC member.

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Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0