Anorak

Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 74

Broadsheets Category

Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

Hand Made

‘IT might not be a stigmatum, but the impression of Nelson Mandela’s right hand that occupies the cover of today’s Times appears to map out his life.

An Ordnance Survey map of Africa

The handprint of the former President of …

Posted: 15th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fish Has Chips

‘IN the hunt for alternatives to the endangered cod, fishermen have been trawling the depths and bringing up all manner of creatures.

99% brine, 1% driftwood

But jamming these aquatic beasts headfirst into cans is causing their numbers to dwindle. …

Posted: 15th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Suicide Is Painful

‘YESTERDAY’S bombing of compounds for foreign workers in the Saudi Arabian capital, Riyadh, has sent the papers into overdrive.

Murder most foul

The front-page agenda was set at 11:25, the time the Independent says that two vehicles laden with Muslim …

Posted: 14th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Badgers Attack

‘FROM one reign of terror now to another, as the Guardian brings news of the furry creature that put five people in hospital in the Worcestershire town of Evesham.

‘We’re not talking without our publicist here’

It seems that badger …

Posted: 14th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Wages Of Sin

‘WITH Boris The Badger’s alibi cast in stone – ‘I’m dead, yer ‘onour’ – police are still looking for the gang that stole a Parcelforce van that was carrying GCSE exam papers.

Class dunce

The Times says that as a …

Posted: 14th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Short Shrift

‘STILL hurting from his victory in a television poll to find the 100 Worst Britons, Tony Blair must be something of a broken man this morning as he eyes the front pages.

A national joke

The Independent, as with all …

Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fatness First

‘TAKING a look at mugshots of Clare Short, it’s a wonder she ever made it into Tony’s photogenic new Labour movement.

Another fat pig

Perhaps she was there to add the common touch, to show the large of frame that …

Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Photo Finish

‘SO important is looking good in today’s Britain that not turning up for a photoshoot can lead to trouble.

What grade do you want – A) A B) A C) A?

The Telegraph tells what happened to ‘star pupil’ Adam …

Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Going To Potteries

‘FOR some years now the north of England has been blowing its own euphonium.

‘Got any more of that funny roe, ma’am?’

The people are more friendly than in the south, so the hype goes, the houses are more affordable …

Posted: 12th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Taking Provisionals

‘IF this carries on for very much longer, we’re going to have to close our Irish office down.

‘Shhh! I think I hear his mobile phone ringing…’

Already down to a skeleton staff, following the disappearances of Kevin Fulton, Brian …

Posted: 12th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Teeth Have It

‘THE jelly is ready. The fondant fancies are sitting prettily on a doily. And the invitations have been despatched to all corners of the palace.

Yours to lick for 27p

Things are moving on apace in the preparations for Prince …

Posted: 12th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Short Straw

‘AFTER sacrificing her credibility with one of the most staggering U-turns ever seen over the war in Iraq, Clare Short’s Cabinet career could soon be at an end.

You still here?

This morning’s papers suggest the International Development Secretary is …

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Waive Goodbye

‘GAZA is probably not high on most people’s list of holiday destinations – and the latest move by the Israeli army is hardly going to boost visitor numbers.

‘What d’ya mean ‘strip’?

According to the Guardian, it is now obliging …

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Aisle Be Back

‘HUNDREDS of churches are to be literally wiped off the map in what the Times describes as ‘an act of cartographic deconsecration’ by the Ordnance Survey.

‘We are not gathered here today…’

The Government’s map-maker is to remove symbols of …

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


On The Placards

‘HANDS up who wants to hear from the Liberal democrats party conference in Brighton. Don’t worry, we can wait… Waiting… Still waiting…

Kennedy shows his true colours

So that’s Mr and Mrs Charles Kennedy, the parents of Mr and Mrs …

Posted: 24th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Clean And Serene

‘WOULDN’T it be just dandy if we were all happy! How great it would be if we could just learn to get along!

The photographer struggles in vain to capture Hitler’s good side

There would be no violence, no hatred …

Posted: 24th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jenny In A Spin

‘SINCE ”damn” and ”oh, my God” are also purged from the CleanFlicks collection, chances are that the average episode of Friends lasts but two minutes in Utah’s holy backwaters.

Two world wars, you say. And how many World Cups?

So …

Posted: 24th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rambling On

‘THEY came in their thousands. Whether by train, cow or combine harvester, 407,791 protestors from the countryside descended on London yesterday to complain about their lot.

”When we grow up, we want to be ripped apart by hounds”

It’s a …

Posted: 23rd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Parking Life

‘IT’S lucky for the London-based celebs on show that the countryside marchers decided to ramble in London and not, say, in Ludlow or Taunton.

”Sorry, guv. Your ticket expired two minutes ago.”

And if the Sloane Rangers wanted to return …

Posted: 23rd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fruits Of The Forest

‘BUT what’s that growing up from the ground? Why, it’s a pseudotrametes gibbosa. Now, if we could just reach down and pick it up…

Fungal felon caught in the act

Ooer, here come the law, reaching out with his long …

Posted: 23rd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Grade Escape

‘SO, it turns out that GCSE/O-levels and A-levels have been rigged for the past 40 years, with examiners routinely awarding grades according to whim or the throw of a special ‘exam dice’ (whose six faces were marked A, B, C, …

Posted: 20th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mein Kampf David

‘A BIT of boot polish in the hair, a little moustache on the top lip… No, we can’t quite see it.

”Say, Dick, what’s all those folks doin’ down there?”

But German justice minister Herta Daeubler-Gmelin can, as she caused …

Posted: 20th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Screen Test

‘IF most of us would flunk our A-levels if we had to take them again, how do you think we would fare in our driving test?

”Congratulations, Ms Morris. You have passed.”

It’s nice to know that we will never …

Posted: 20th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cold Comfort

‘WHEN Trevor Perry sued Dr Helen Young for (inadvertently) passing on a cold while treating him, he must have been over the moon at pocketing £227 in damages.

”Anyway, you’re not even a real doctor”

But now he is coughing …

Posted: 19th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Loud And Proud

‘TECHNOLOGICAL innovations often come from unlikely sources. Never forget, without space travel, scientists would never have invented the non-stick frying pan.

With an engine like a Renault Twingo

(The preceding fascinating fact is one of thousands from the forthcoming Anorak …

Posted: 19th, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0