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Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 78

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Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

One Door Closes, Another Opens

‘YOU know the situation – you’ve just opened the door to a shop or a restaurant and you see a pretty woman coming the other way. What do you do?

An easy solution to a common dilemma

Do you a) …

Posted: 7th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Knickers V Nickers

‘IS that a mobile phone in your pants or are you just glad to see me? Not the most obvious of chat-up lines, but remember: you heard it here first.

And you can even park you car in these ones

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Welcome To Becks Country

‘WE are always being told that the British tourist industry is in crisis, so it’s good to report one area that is booming.

Becks hid when Posh started getting a bit frisky

The Telegraph reports that the Japanese are flocking …

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


No Leg To Stand On

‘FINE words butter no parsnips, as a wise man once said.

New Zealand celebrate their goosing gold

We’ve heard a lot about how this year’s Commonwealth Games is an inclusive event, to which all are welcome, and it is the …

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Monky Business

‘IF HISTORY teaches us anything, it is that religion is rarely a force for love, peace, understanding and tolerance.

”HQ? Send reinforcements. I repeat, send reinforcements.”

Indeed, like sport (on whose behalf similar claims are often made), its track record …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Out Of The Norm

‘IF it’s tolerance and ”live and let live” you want, then forget the birthplace of Christianity and head for the Tory heartlands of Surrey. Today, the Guardian visits Reigate to sound out the locals about the decision of Alan Duncan …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nuisance Caller

‘THERE’S nothing more irritating than a cold call from a salesman on your home telephone number. Except, that is, for a series of calls from the same salesman.

The stuff of Gareth’s nightmares

So when Gareth Evans got repeated calls …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


It’s The Pits

”’THEY were hauled out of the earth one by one, covered in a black sludge of coal dust and dirty water, raised to the surface in a yellow metal cage amid cacophonous applause,” writes the Independent.

”I know there’s beer

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Out On A Limb

‘BACK on home soil, another figure has emerged blinking and spluttering into the media glare after spending most of his life in a closet.

Alan Duncan became the first MP to admit he was short

”Alan Duncan, the Tory party’s …

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


In The Long Run

‘THE question leveled at rescuers by the disgruntled miners who spent 77 hours underground – ”What took you so long?” – could just as easily be asked of Jamie Donaldson.

Jamie’s next ambition was to be Heavyweight Champion of the

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Better Things

”YOU can walk my path/ You can wear my shoes/ Let her talk like me/ And be an angel too.’

Bernie takes a test drive on the new bypass

Words we all agree are an inspiration and sum up how …

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rocking The Boat

‘THERE was a time when we were promised referenda on all manner of things.

Not the ideal location for a polling booth

We were to be asked if we wanted to adopt the euro, what name would be best for …

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cooking Up A Storm

‘OF course, there are other ways to skin a cat, and chef Gordon Ramsay knows a few of them.

The chef made sure Mr Wood would write no more unfavourable reviews

The Guardian reports that the man in the apron …

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


What A Racket!

”THERE is only so far you can get standing in front of your mirror with a tennis racket,’ says Billy Bragg. ‘You’ve got to get out there in front of an audience to see if any of it works.’

Fender

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Culture Vultures

‘WHAT makes illegal immigrants spend all their money on a one-way ticket to Britain via the back of a lorry?

Mr Benn welcomes the new arrivals from Kosovo

Is it the food? Is it the weather? Is it our fabulous …

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Acourt Case

‘OF course, in order to reach the promised land, asylum seekers need wheels.

Going down

So they will be alarmed every time another immigrant transit operative is sent to jail for illegal ‘trafficking’. And they will cheer every time such …

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Run-Run-Run-Run-Runway

‘AND you thought the asylum problem was under control.

Coming soon to a zebra crossing near you

According to the front page of the Times this morning, Britain is such a popular destination that it is going to have to …

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


O Tempora! O Mores!

‘YOU can almost feel the pillars of the Establishment creaking as more news reaches us of the decline of the ruling classes.

The Earl corrects Louis’s frightful Latin grammar

It started with the MCC agreeing to admit women, continued with …

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Latin Lesson

‘EVERY 50 years or so since time immemorial, we Brits have had to stir ourselves from our leather armchairs, put down our cup of tea and copy of the Telegraph sport section and cross the Channel to give one of …

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Archer Misses Target

”ARCHER appeal dismissed within minutes,’ announces the Times. ‘Judges take 110 minutes to reject Archer appeal on perjury conviction,’ says the Guardian.

With Jeffrey out of the way, the Mary Archer appreciation club smell an opportunity

And the Guardian’s accuracy …

Posted: 23rd, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Robbie Fowler Is Innocent!

‘THERE are many ways to get into trouble with Robbie Fowler – not all of them the fault of the handsome scally himself, we hasten to add. But the fact is that the man is a magnet for trouble.

‘I

Posted: 23rd, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Smut On A Plate

‘NO SNIGGERING at the back, please. This is serious. The Telegraph tells of the perilous future facing an important erotic artefact from Roman times.

Disgusting!

The artefact in question is a risqué ceramic plate from the rare school of bawdy …

Posted: 23rd, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sandcastle Sheikh

‘ALL hail and tidings glad be with you as his immortal majesty the King of Bahrain welcomes you to read his sensational new column in the Independent.

‘Life is, how do you say it, a beach’

Also syndicated in the …

Posted: 22nd, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


We Dunnae Ken

‘AS Parisians burn, Scots simmer. From the dry side of a pac-a-mac, Scotland’s beaches are every bit as welcoming as the rolling sands of Bahrain or Paris, yet oddly the Scots still fail to seduce holidaymakers to their shores.

Angus

Posted: 22nd, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Foreign Bodies

‘HAS anyone noticed that there are lots of foreigners in the world today? Over in Greece, there are thousands, while in China and India there are positively millions of them.

NHS unveils its requirements for a modern nurse

And sometimes, …

Posted: 22nd, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0