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Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995Tabloid news for broadsheet readers |
News from The United States of America from Anorak’s man in New York
HILLARY Clinton supporters may go for John McCain now he’s revealed that his vice president would be one Sarah Palin.
She’s the woman to man the red phone in times of emergency.
It’s 3am, the phone is ringing… And Sarah Palin:
Sarah and her father would sometimes wake at 3 a.m. to hunt moose before school, and the family regularly ran 5k and 10k races
MICHELLE Obama is shouting “Show Me the Money”. Write Anorak in NY:
I know I have lived in America for almost five years now and so I should be used to all of the schmaltz and ceremony of a presidential election, but do people really believe this guff? The excerpts I saw of Michelle Obama’s speech last night were more like the outtakes from a second rate Cameron Crowe movie than anything resembling real politics. So why is everyone so excited about it?
Black. White. Old Young. To the rest of the world they just all look so American…
Click the image - via
COUNCILLOR Albert Richardson claims surveillance cameras near his home on Ribbleton Avenue can “monitor visitors to his house and are invading neighbours’ privacy”.
So says the Lancashire Evening Post.
BARACK Obama’s running mate Joe Biden has modelled himself on which British politican from the last twenty years:
a) Maggie Thatcher
b) Tony BLair
c) David Owen
d) Neil Kinnock
SAYS Neil Kinnock, former Labour leader and light bulb head:
POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…
Blessed Are The Butter Eaters:
OCALA – Ocala police officers arrested a man Sunday morning who they say pulled a knife on members of a church congregation who would not give him butter in the morning buffet… When he could not get any, he pulled a knife on members of the congregation and said he would cut them.
POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…
Blessed Are The Butter Eaters:
OCALA – Ocala police officers arrested a man Sunday morning who they say pulled a knife on members of a church congregation who would not give him butter in the morning buffet… When he could not get any, he pulled a knife on members of the congregation and said he would cut them.
RALPH Nader. He used to be Ralph Nader:
The Ralph Nader for President campaign in Colorado revved up to start its demonstration march at the onset of the Democratic National Convention. All six supporters were ready to go, leaflets in hand, their 15-foot-tall brown beer-bottle protest balloon was inflated and tied down on the trailer behind the 18-year-old silver Ford F-150 pickup.
Then disaster struck—the generator powering the air-pump that kept the balloon afloat died. Out of gas. The giant balloon shriveled and went limp. One of the Naderites sprinted off for the nearest gas station.
Vote Nader…
LITTLE Green Footballs spots a mosque. And thinks it’s a scoop:
Zombie: The Mosque in Denver’s Civic Center
Zombie’s latest report is on the mosque that was constructed in Denver’s Civic Center Park, within sight of the capitol building. The mainstream media don’t think this is newsworthy.
It’s only newsworthy if you re a Muslim looking for somewhere new to pray. But why else would it be newsworthy?
Discuss.
On August 26th, George Bush announces that September is National Preparedness Month:
NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim September 2008 as National Preparedness Month.
JOHN McCain or Barack Obama, the main player in the Barack Obama Death Cult. Which is going to die first?
While many are waiting (is hope to strong a word?) for Obama to be shot, McCain keeps getting older.
ARE you ready for “JACQUI SMITH’S SECRET POLICE”?
While the potty Home Secretary keeps you distracted with her kebab and embonpoint, her police force is hard at it.
And the Mail knows how to spot them. Some of them, let’s call them “Security guards” are dressed in black jumpers (although they can be a dark navy blue) and polyester blend trousers.
GEORGE Bush and John McCain in Mexican, pornographic sex encounter.
Mark Fraunefelder says: “Ethan Persoff (the fellow who is covering the riot police at the DNC) has printed a special edition of his (X-rated) McCain “Tijuana Bible” to hand out to folks at the convention.
Uncivil Society reports:
Any complete account of the evolution of communications media in the twentieth century must include the Tijuana Bible — small pornographic comics featuring bootleg versions of popular comic strips and celebrities….
In Denver this week, delegates to the Democratic National Convention will have the opportunity to get printed versions of this Bush-McCain Tijuana Bible, presented as a replica of a prophetic 1934 comic from Lieberman’s Lil’ Squeezer Books. Whatever one’s moral stance regarding porn & politics, it’s a rather clever piece of neo-retro performance art.
Bush McCain Tijuana Bible at the Democratic National Convention
AMIGONE Funeral homes ltd, New York:
“I WATCH you all the time”. A weatherman meet his No.1 fan:
IT’S The Barack Obama Death Cult. Arrests made in Denver.
MICHELLE Obama is telling Times readers about “our all-American story”. And Sky news screams: “Obama ‘Assassination arrests.”
What’s more American than a dead President?
To the Democrat Party’s convention in Denver, and local police have confirmed three men are being held in connection with drugs and weapons offences.
They were going to kill Obama, right? They are a cell of the Obama Death Cult and they were intending to do their worst, right?
Over in the Sun, Sky’s sister organ, the news is a little less certain:
IN New Zealand, a judge has taken banned news websites from naming two men charged with murder while allowing newspapers, radio stations and TV networks to reveal who they are.
Judge David Harvey said online media could not use the names, or publish images of the accused, to prevent the public searching for the information when the case comes to trial.
KNOW that: “The pornographers have won in Ellicott City.”
Yeah, Americans are undone by the, er, freedom of speech. Who knew?
After an 11 year battle, Howard County is giving up its effort to close down the Pack Shack bookstore on Route 40, saying it no longer can make the case that the shop is an adult book store.
County lawyers say the shop is now selling enough non-explicit material, such as t-shirts and used paperbacks, that it no longer qualifies as an adult book store under county law. ‘
Local church leaders say they’re still going to make noise about the shop, and Howard County Executive Ken Ulman says he wants to review the situation before he gives up the fight.
A porn shop is not aporn shop when:
Statement from Howard County Solicitor Margaret Ann Nolan
Under the County’s amended zoning regulation, a bookstore is defined as “adult” if 20% or more of its total inventory or floor space is devoted to adult material.
Rather than challenge this definition in court, Pack Shack opted to make substantial modifications to its inventory and layout to fall within this definition.
POLICE Log: Anorak’s look at crime in the news…
THE female undercover copper is dressed as a prostitute in Bonita Speing, USA. Fausino Diaz Hernandez approaches.
He makes his bid: two cents.
There is much upset.
POLICE Log: Anorak’s look at crime in the news…
THE female undercover copper is dressed as a prostitute in Bonita Speing, USA. Fausino Diaz Hernandez approaches.
He makes his bid: two cents.
There is much upset.
DUSTY Horwitt writes for the Washington Post. No, not Viz magazine. Horwitt is no f***wit as he writes in a newspaper (and on the web) about there being too much information.
He begins his piece: “Everybody jokes about “TMI” these days.”
TM?
“Too much information.” BP – Beyond Parody.
As we say Horwitt is no F***witt. Unless…
GASP in horror as a copper holds aloft a “horrifying five-foot weapon” recovered by police during a knife amnesty.
The Mail explains:
A spokesman for police in Gloucester, where it was surrendered, said: “It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone’s head off. We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in.”