50p cheaper than the Daily Mail and 50 times more fun
Irish Judge Stops Drink Drive Trial For Urine Steam Inhalation
When he is urinating, he is inhaling vapourised alcohol and there's always steam off it
Robbie Savage Cuts Your Legs Off
SPORTING insight of the day: footballer Robbie Savage explains his love for Brighton FC.
“There are kids out there who’d chop their legs off to play football for Brighton”
Robbie Savage on equal opportunities football. Look out for Abu Hamza in goal…
Catch it!
Pssssssssss….
Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Sports, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fabio Capello Spots England’s Strange Girlfriends
FABIO Capello spots the Wags:
“It was possible to meet the women, the wives or the official girlfriends. Not strange girlfriends” - England manager Fabio Capello on training camps in his club days
Who are these strange girlfriends, a tribe of untanned women in sensible shoes who shy away from cameras and have no ambitions to be TV presenters, models or designers?
They say they smell of talc, Ralgex and BO, but until the scent is bottled, how can we be certain?
Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Fabio Crapello, Sports, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The End Of Football’s Age Of Innocence: Melanie Slade Strips Off
SETANTA. Director of football (not to be confused with football director). Theo Walcott. Lots of clean toilets at Wembley Stadium. Man City playing beach soccer. Dennis Wise in a suit and not appearing in court.
All parts of football’s brave new world.
But it’s not all change. No one told Melanie Slade, Walcott’s lover, that time has moved on. And here she in the Sun making a “great career mauve” in a lilac bikini.
Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Sports, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Four Facts About Paul Gascoigne’s Drinking
“INFO maniac UK,” screams the Mirror. “Average Briton absorbs 13 new facts per day.”
But which facts? Luckily, Paul Gascoigne is here to help readers. Gazza is by the Metz public house, in Dunston, Gateshead.
DAILY MIRROR: “Desperate for a drink at 9.44am.” Fact!
THE SUN: “Desperate for a drink…” at 9.45am. Fact!
DAILY EXPRESS: “9.30am: Gazza tries to get a drink.” Fact!
DAILY STAR: “Gazza is desperately trying to get into a pub at 9am”. Fact!
Now for 11 more facts to complete the day’s quota… Who’s in the Spurs First XI tonight?
Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Proud Of Britain: Being Proud Of Sir Alex Ferguson
PROUD Of You – Anorak’s look people being proud of others. The more tenuous the link, the better. Today, one of Alex Ferguson’s school mates is proud of him:
“I’ve kept an eye on Alex’s career,” says Margaret McArthur, 67. “He’s done really well and I’m proud of him.” - The Sun
Makes you proud…
Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Cheryl Cole Calls The Celebrity Baby Ordering Service
THE People advertise the news that Cheryl Cole, of the Chelsea Coles says: “I want a baby with Ashley next year.
Well, what’s one more, alleged puking, diamond-pooing little darling? But before the world can welcome into its bosom anther Ashley Cole, Cheryl needs to call Anorak’s Celebrity Baby Ordering Service.
Says Cheryl: “I want to start working on that baby.”
Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Lewis Hamilton Stands Up At The Italian Grand Prix
OVERHEARD on TV: It’s the Italian Grand Prix and Lewis Hamilton is go… Go… Go!!!!
“Would the real Lewis Hamilton please stand up” – James Allen, ITV
But how will his feet reach the pedals..?
Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Overheard On The TV And Radio, TV & Radio, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Paul Gascoigne’s Last Words And Testament
PAUL Gascoigne is unwell. And rumours of his impeding death are exaggerated.
As the Star leads: “GAZZA LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE.”
At once we see a mental image of Paul Gascoigne lying on his death bed, his head raised as a team of men in white try to squirt a jet of elixir into his flapping maw.
Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
