Robbie Savage Cuts Your Legs Off
SPORTING insight of the day: footballer Robbie Savage explains his love for Brighton FC.
“There are kids out there who’d chop their legs off to play football for Brighton”
Robbie Savage on equal opportunities football. Look out for Abu Hamza in goal…
Catch it!
Pssssssssss….
Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Sports, Wags & Players | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fabio Capello Spots England’s Strange Girlfriends
FABIO Capello spots the Wags:
“It was possible to meet the women, the wives or the official girlfriends. Not strange girlfriends” - England manager Fabio Capello on training camps in his club days
Who are these strange girlfriends, a tribe of untanned women in sensible shoes who shy away from cameras and have no ambitions to be TV presenters, models or designers?
They say they smell of talc, Ralgex and BO, but until the scent is bottled, how can we be certain?
Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Sports, Wags & Players | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The End Of Football’s Age Of Innocence: Melanie Slade Strips Off
SETANTA. Director of football (not to be confused with football director). Theo Walcott. Lots of clean toilets at Wembley Stadium. Man City playing beach soccer. Dennis Wise in a suit and not appearing in court.
All parts of football’s brave new world.
But it’s not all change. No one told Melanie Slade, Walcott’s lover, that time has moved on. And here she in the Sun making a “great career mauve” in a lilac bikini.
Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Sports, Wags & Players | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Four Facts About Paul Gascoigne’s Drinking
“INFO maniac UK,” screams the Mirror. “Average Briton absorbs 13 new facts per day.”
But which facts? Luckily, Paul Gascoigne is here to help readers. Gazza is by the Metz public house, in Dunston, Gateshead.
DAILY MIRROR: “Desperate for a drink at 9.44am.” Fact!
THE SUN: “Desperate for a drink…” at 9.45am. Fact!
DAILY EXPRESS: “9.30am: Gazza tries to get a drink.” Fact!
DAILY STAR: “Gazza is desperately trying to get into a pub at 9am”. Fact!
Now for 11 more facts to complete the day’s quota… Who’s in the Spurs First XI tonight?
Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Proud Of Britain: Being Proud Of Sir Alex Ferguson
PROUD Of You – Anorak’s look people being proud of others. The more tenuous the link, the better. Today, one of Alex Ferguson’s school mates is proud of him:
“I’ve kept an eye on Alex’s career,” says Margaret McArthur, 67. “He’s done really well and I’m proud of him.” - The Sun
Makes you proud…
Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Cheryl Cole Calls The Celebrity Baby Ordering Service
THE People advertise the news that Cheryl Cole, of the Chelsea Coles says: “I want a baby with Ashley next year.
Well, what’s one more, alleged puking, diamond-pooing little darling? But before the world can welcome into its bosom anther Ashley Cole, Cheryl needs to call Anorak’s Celebrity Baby Ordering Service.
Says Cheryl: “I want to start working on that baby.”
Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Lewis Hamilton Stands Up At The Italian Grand Prix
OVERHEARD on TV: It’s the Italian Grand Prix and Lewis Hamilton is go… Go… Go!!!!
“Would the real Lewis Hamilton please stand up” – James Allen, ITV
But how will his feet reach the pedals..?
Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Overheard On The TV And Radio, TV & Radio, Wags & Players | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Paul Gascoigne’s Last Words And Testament
PAUL Gascoigne is unwell. And rumours of his impeding death are exaggerated.
As the Star leads: “GAZZA LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE.”
At once we see a mental image of Paul Gascoigne lying on his death bed, his head raised as a team of men in white try to squirt a jet of elixir into his flapping maw.
Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Theo Walcott Scores With Topless Page 3 Girl
THEO Walcott is Trio Walcott, England’s hat-trick hero.
And topless Mel, 24, from Morecambe, lies back in the sand and tells Sun readers what she makes of it:
“The lad’s always had blistering pace, but I used to worry he might be a bit lightweight at this level. Last night he showed how much he’s grown in every department of the game.”
Bravo!
At a time when so many footballers are aping stunnas (shaved chests, sacked, crack and backs; moisturiser; tears), it’s heartening to see that stunnas are learning from footballers.
Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Page 3 Girls, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Wayne Rooney’s Non-Sequitur Of The Day
WAYNE Rooney, we and readers of the News of the World learn, is “at it five times a night”.
It turns out to be “playing FIFA ‘08”, a video game that features a picture of Wayne in full rant on the cover.
After that coincidence (surely shameless plug? – ed), the NOTW then delivers one of the best non-sequiturs ever:
Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Online-PR, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Three Fans React With Fury As Kevin Keegan Resigns
THREE days ago Anorak told you: “Kevin Keegan Sacked As Newcastle United Manager”
No chance, said the papers. King Kev was on his throne. He was lovin it, just lovin’ it at Newcastle.
Now three days on the media rushes to show the world that King Kev has abdicated and that the lachrymose Geordie fans are a-weepin’ and a-wailin’ more than usual.
Posted: 5th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Overheard On The TV And Radio, TV & Radio, Tabloids, Terrible TV, Wags & Players | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Manchester City: Robinho Introduces The MAGs
MANCHESTER City’s new player Robinho is pictured in the Mirror, topless and in the arms of a woman.
Anorak is unfamiliar with Mr Robinho’s life.
And on viewing the image, Old Mr Anorak supposed Robinho was being portrayed with his wet nurse or an older lover, an impression not unaided by her circling resting on his right nipple.
Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kevin Keegan Sacked As Newcastle United Manager
KING Kevin Keegan of Newcastle United. Goodbye.
Dennis Wise poised…
Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Twitterings, Wags & Players | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Brother: Gazza, Nicole And Rex
BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…
IT’S “Big Brother Nicole”. She wants to tell us about: “COCAINE, GAZZA AND ME.”
Given the PR dive to make whiny Nicole appear interesting, Cocaine, Gazza and Me may well turn out to be the names of three Yorkshire terriers she once encountered on Hamstead Heath.
Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Big Brother TV, Celebrities, TV & Radio, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Samir Nasri Is Something Special
“GREAT for Arsenal, that Nasri’s back. As I said last week, you don’t win the prize as ‘Player of the Year’ in France and then score in your debut in the Premier League if you’re not something special. Just ask Malouda. Oh, wait….”
Posted: 23rd, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Twitterings, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Robinho’s Dream: To Win The Cash With Chelsea
ROBINHO, one of the myriad Brazilian attacking footballers whose names being in a “R”, has been the object of transfer speculation between Real Madrid (ten times winners of the European Cup) and Chelsea (identity under offer).
And the Sun headline: “Madrid have killed the dream.”
That’s right. Robinho’s dream was to play for Chelsea. Really.
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SAYS England footballer Rio Ferdinand:
“I didn’t carry a knife, I was around people who probably did. We are fortunate that we had goals in life, we wanted to play football.”
Rio Ferdinand is a defender whose job it is to prevent young men from reaching goals…
Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Police Log, Wags & Players | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Agent Steve McClaren Was A Dutch Plant
IS former England manager Steve McClaren trying to pretend that he is not who he once was? Or can it be that McClaren was Agenct McClaren, a Dutch national sent to destroy the English game from within?
McClaren is now weaving his magic in Holland - his native Holland. Listen up:
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Terrible TV, Wags & Players | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Letizia Filippi’s Return Flight Of Fancy
CRISTIANO Ronaldo has transferred to Letizia Filippi. But for reasons inexplicable she has yet to go topless on a beach.
With no sign of Ms Filippi’s chest, the Sun is stuck on how best to feature her and so file its daily Ronaldo exclusive.
Normally the paper would stick in a photo of Nereida Gallardo, the footballer’s former topless stunna. But instead it opts to feature Filippi saying how she would like to get on a private jet with her man and “do it”.
Just what she told Star readers on July 24th… It’s another Ronaldo sensation!
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Paul Gascoigne Leaves Shezza For Jizza
“IT’S ME OR HIM,” vows the Sunday Mirror’s front-page pledge.
“She’s distraught as he walks out to be with old pal Jimmy Five Bellies.”
Poor Sheryl Gascoigne, for it is she, and Paul Gascoigne, for it is he. What woman cannot sympathise with Shezza?
But are we not the least bit titillated, intrigued that Gazza has left his lover to spend quality time with the gut-busting Jimmy Gardner?
What future for Gazza and, dare it go unsaid, Jizza..?
Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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