Jennifer Aniston Races Angelina Jolie To The Baby Stack
JENNIFER Aniston is Princess Diana to the Enquirer’s Daily Express. Every issue comes with a Jen ishoo.
Jen’s issue du joy is that Angelina Jolie is a “LIAR”.
Ange is Jen’s “love rival”, albeit a rivalry like that which exists between Arsenal (Angelina ) and Spurs (Jen) where one party gets all the beauty, spoils and glory the other gets to live in the halcyon days of past glories and shop of new faces.
Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Angelina Jolie Can Carthwheel And Cheat?
ANGELINA Jolie - praise be and thank you:
On falling in love on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith: “Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.” (Yes, Brad Pitt was still married to Jennifer Aniston).
What a gal!
“To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.”
Self loathing. Pass the knives…
Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Private Photos Of Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt
WANT to see “PRIVATE PHOTOS” of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt?
Well, here they are on the cover of W magazine.
Shhh! Keep it just between us.
File under: Beyond parody…
Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Brad Pitt Product Places Barack Obama
BRAD Pitt: actor. Barack Obama: politico. Who needs who more?
Product placement…
Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Brandgelina, Celebrities, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Can Angelina Jolie Ever Be In Hiding?
HOW long does Angelina Jolie need to be “in hiding” before she becomes a recluse?
And to complicate the matter: Can a celebrity ever be in hiding if they are being talked about on the cover of Grazia magazine?
Discuss.
Note: It takes time for Angelina and other celeb mums to think up baby names. As 14 observes in her new book…
Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Grazia, Photojournalism | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Hairs To Brad Pitt’s Rainbow Nation
CELEBRITY news of the day: Brad Pitt’s children of all the colours…
The Sun reports that Brad Pitt has been walking with sons Maddox and Pax Thien in Venice.
The boys “showed off their snazzy hairdos, proving they can be just as cool as their old man. Maddox sported a blue mohawk, while Pax was working the bleached fringe look.”
Brad wore a hat (beige)…
Posted: 27th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
France Pays Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt To Live In La Belle Epoch
BY now you’ll be wondering what ever happened to Angelina Jolie and Brad Piit.
What are they up to? How are their kids? Well, Anorak has tracked the reclusive and humble couple down to France, and news is that they have struck gold.
Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Money, Tabloids | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: Angelia Jolie’s Changeling, Oakely International And Belgian Paedos
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
MAIL On SUNDAY: “McCANNS’ FUND IN £500,000 CHAOS.”
A team of private investigators working behind the scenes to find Madeleine McCann has been axed after being paid £500,000 from publicly donated funds.
Metodo 3?
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (143) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Roseanne Barr On Bradgelina
SAYS Roseanne Barr of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt:
“Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more.”
Roseanne Barr used to be on the telly. May God have mercy on her soul…
Picture: 14
Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Suri Versus Shiloh: Let’s Get Ready To Mumble
SURI Crusie (get back!) is going head-to-head in a match up with Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (may her name ber forever golden). Star magazine has the battle (American ) royale:
Suri Cruise:
Special skills: They say she has telekinetic powers, can bend a weaning-spoon has fluent German and can sing hymns backwards
Intelligence: Out of this world
Strength: Resistence is futile
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
Special skills: Blonde to very blonde
Intelligence: Probable
Strength: Pout
There can be only one…
Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Tom Cruise | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Red Alert: Maddox Jolie-Pitt’s Forced Labour
ALLISON Person is considering the lives of Angelina and Brad Pitt’s children.
Having said Knox and Vivienne are “as edible as sugared almonds”, Pearson of the Mail considers Cambodian-born Maddox Jolie-Pitt:
“Now there are two new cherubs to compete with. No wonder Maddox has been shortened to Mad. He looks increasingly like a furious member of the Khmer Rouge.”
Maddox is currently involved in a forced labour project in Hello! magazine…
Posted: 6th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
At Home With The Jolie-Pitts And Hello!
EAT your heart out Mary and go fish Katie Holmes – when Angelina gives birth, she gives birth to not one but two Messiahs. Says Angelina: “I was at peace.”
Says Brad: “I find the process absolutely heroic.”
Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Hello! | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Hello! Outbids Paedo Today For Pictures Of Knox Leon And Vivienne Marcheline
NEWS is that “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have sold pictures of their newborn twins for a record £7.5million”.
Reports the Mirror:
Hello! magazine secured the deal after a bidding frenzy with rival OK! to show photographs of Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, three weeks old tomorrow.
Other magazines believed to have been in for the snaps, were Paedos Today, IVF Monthly and Voyeur Weekly.
A cheque from Russian website Kidz4Sale.com for the sum of £4.3billion is believed to have bounced…
Picture: 14
Posted: 3rd, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Hello!, Money, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Wanna See Some Pictures Of Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt’s Kids?
PSSST! Wanna See Some Pictures Of Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt’s Kids?
Come on, you know you do.
People magazine is said to have paid $10-15 million to publish 30 pages of of Brangelina baby snaps.
Do you like looking at other people’s children. People magazine’s got pages of ‘em. Wanna see? They’re out this Monday.
Are you known to the authorities..?
Posted: 2nd, August 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Knox And Vivienne: Those Brad Pitt And Angelina Photos
CAN Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie spell IRONY? Want to see a picture of their new children, Fort Knox and Viv? Wwll, cough up:
Lawyers for Brad Pitt are threatening legal action against news outlets if photos taken of the actor and his brood at their French estate are published. The images, Pitt’s lawyer contends, were “surreptitiously” taken by paparazzi with “highly powerful telephoto lenses,” and, if published, would violate the star’s privacy rights. The photos show “Pitt and his family as they engaged in familial activities on private property,” according to attorney Yael Holtkamp… The letter does not further describe the photos of Pitt, who, with partner Angelina Jolie, is reportedly negotiating a multimillion-dollar deal for the first pictures of the couple’s twins, born July 12 in France.
Irony is…
Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
A Week In The Life Of Knox And Vivienne
HOW about this for a scoop: “BRAD AND ANGELINA – THE TWINS FIRST WEEK.”
Anorak had been assured by (Fort) Knox’s people that he would get back to us, and not to bother contacting his sister Vivienne directly because she never takes calls on a Tuesday - “on ‘Chooseday’ people should be free to be themselves.”
But while we wait, Hello! nips in and gets the scoop, and we read that Knox is looking at scripts for a film based on the early life of Ghengis Kahn and Vivienne is pleased that Brad and Angelina have ended “this leg of [their] parental journey” and will have her people call their people…
Picture: 14
Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Hello! | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Where Were You When Knox And Vivienne Were Born?
KNOX and Vivienne Jolie are among us. Vox Pop And Mom:
It’s the question Brangelunatics will be asking themselves, and each other, for decades to come:
The day the Holy Twins joined the Chosen One to form the new Trinity – Where were you on July 12, 2008?
“I was at home working on my Shiloh scrapbook,” they’ll say, “and time actually stopped.”
Can …we…breathe…yet…?
Posted: 14th, July 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Twitterings | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Angelina Jolie Prepares Fort Knox And Vivienne For Picture Money
“BABY Boy and Girl for Brad and Angelina,” says the new celebrity-focused Independent on its front page, news that echoes the Express’s lead headline.
“ANGELINA twins in £10million bidding war,” announces the Mail.
“Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s twins spark $11m bidding war,” says the Telegraph, underestimating the power of Knox, (the bundle of hair and poo named after the fort) and Young One Vivienne.
Posted: 14th, July 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Knox Three Times For The Jolie Pitt Young Ones
BY now every wise man and his donkey know that Angelina Jolie has given birth to Knox Leon (boy) and Vivienne Marcheline (girl).
Anorak wonders is Jolie thinks all boys should have an ‘x’ in their names, having already given succour to Pax and Maddox?
And what of Vivienne?
Britons of a certain vintage will hear the name and in response cock their chins and say Vivienne in the manner of The Young Ones’ Rick (with the silent P) of the Young Ones repute.
Posted: 13th, July 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: Angelina Jolie Feels The Pain
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
THIS IS HULL - and Total Film Magazine:Angelina: “It’s so upsetting”
Angelina Jolie has reportedly revealed she has been deeply moved by the disappearance of Madeleine McCann.
Oh?
The Oscar-winning actress - who has four children with Brad Pitt and is due to give birth to twins - empathises with the McCann family as a parent herself.
Angelina told Total Film magazine: “It’s the worst thing in the world. I love Brad and if anything happened to him it would wreck me, but if anything happened to my kids… it’s something I can’t even think about it’s so upsetting.”
La Jolie would shoot them - she’d shoot them, all in the face.
Posted: 10th, June 2008 | In: Brandgelina, Celebrities, Madeleine McCann | Comments (140) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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