Goodbye Kerry Katona, Stay in Touch Georgina Baillie
GOODBYE Kerry Katona.
After four years as OK!’s diarist, Kerry leaves the magazine to launch her own organ.
But before the first issue of Grope can reach the shelves, OK! wishes to say farewell to it’s employee with a few words and a few photos, the literal equivalent of a card that when opened plays the sound of a turkey being spit roasted Leicester City reserves.
Posted: 5th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona: Mum’s Gone To Fight With Dad
SAYS the Sun: “Brian McFadden will fight Kerry Katona for custody of their kids – with the help of X-Factor judge Louis Walsh.”
McPadding has slimmed down since his days with Westlife, and some punters reason that he can last three rounds with Katona, longer if she remains on her stool, or seated.
Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Terrible TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona: This Is Why Mum Lives In Iceland
WITH climate controlled Kerry Katona returned to the cool of Iceland, news in the Sun is that:
Kerry Katona’s fuming hubby had to be forcibly removed from This Morning studios by security after squaring up to host Phillip Schofield.
There can be no shame in being bounced from This Morning. But shame on Croft for not issuing his challenge to Schofield live on air and couching it in a charity event. Would Phil ‘The Grecian’ Schofield dare to refuse the chance to help the downtrodden, lonely and institutionalised (aka: the viewers)?
Posted: 24th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
On Iceland: Kerry Katona Asks The Questions
KERRY Katona was not drunk on This Morning yesterday morning.
Or as the Star’s front page puts it: “KERRY: I WASN’T PISHT HONEST”, and inside “SHERRY KATONA ‘DRUNK’ ON TELLY”.
This is, of course, the Daily Star, sister organ to OK!, a magazine not so much soft focus as magic eye, rendering everyone within into one stunning, gorgeous and talented blur.
Posted: 23rd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona On Ice: New Body, New Mindset, New Pint
KERRY Katona, formerly Kerry McPadding, is lying face down on a bed telling Zoo magazine readers about the time her home was raided by villains masked.
Zoo: “Do you think they targeted you because of who you are?”
KK: “Definitely not. They did a few houses around my way. Plus, when they walked in, they shouted: ‘Hey, you’re that bird from Atomic Kitten.’”
Video - Kerry on This Morning, reliving the ordeal:
Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comments (17) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katatonic: Kerry Katona’s Amazing New Body
WITH curves not seen since the glory days of Warrington’s Spud U Like grand opening, Kerry Katona appears on the Mirror’s front page to show readers her “amazing body”.
To page 9, where a naked Kerry is showing off her cosmetic surgery bruises. Anorak is particularly appalled by the metal stables that join the chest to the navel.
Amazing.
Posted: 21st, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona Is Iceland And MTV’s Topless Bird
KERRY McPadding, aka Kerry Katona, is to help mums out in the credit crunch by donating her body to Iceland.
Thd MTV show is called Kerry Katona: Whole Again and will be broadcast later this month. Says MTV:
Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Styrofoam, The Essence Of Kerry Katona
KERRY Katona uses her OK! Diary to tell us that’s she has a perfume coming out in October.
Parfumiers are right not harvesting the contents of Kerry’s knickers, sheets and husband for an essence that can be boiled, distilled and poured into a styrofoam burger box.
Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, OK! | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrities For Renewable Energy: Harvesting Kerry Katona’s Fat
KERRY Katona is recovering after going under the knife to “shrink her 34GG bust to a DD and suck out TWO LITRES of fat from her tum, bum and thighs”, reports the NOTW.
The fat will be deep frozen and sold by the cube at branches of Iceland throughout the country.
And don’t worry of you miss out because the celebrity is already hard at it replenishing her fat reserves for anther harvest.
Posted: 7th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Food & Fat, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona: That’s Why Mum’s Gone To The High Court
KERRY Katona, aka Kerry McPadding, has been declared bankrupt.
No, in a fiscal sense, you judgemental swine.
The High Court action against Miss Katona, 27, of Wilmslow, Cheshire, followed her failure to pay the final £82,000 of a £417,000 tax bill.
Katona once trilled “That’s why mum’s gone to Iceland.”
She may care to rephrase her bon mots to: “That’s why mum’s gone to Aldi.”
Chin up, tits up, bottoms up and throw up – there’s always work out there…
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Money | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Benefits Of Being Kerry Katona’s Mum
KERRY Katona’s mother, one Susan Katona, “had £46,000 despite claiming she was broke, a court heard yesterday”, writes the Sun.
Susan Katona, 48, has admitted claiming £5,622 income support — despite earning thousands from photographs and interviews about her daughter, 27.
Yesterday she failed to appear for sentencing for a second time — claiming she has agoraphobia.
Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Money, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Update: Shopping With Kerry Katona
CELEBRITY Quote of the Day: Shopping With Kerry Katona
The News of the World has an interview with Kerry Katona’s mum Sue:
And she was stealing, too. She took me along and showed me how to do it. She got lists off schoolfriends for things they wanted, then she’d pinch the stuff and sell it to them.
Mum’s gone to Iceland?
I’d have been spotted a mile off but Kerry was really innocent-looking. I remember going into Superdrug. I’d move the things I wanted, like toothpaste or toothbrushes, to the front of the shelf.
Posted: 29th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
FOR those of you heard the “lies” about Kerry Katona being trapped with Mark Croft and wishing she’d never married him; for those of you who’ve read that she’s “depressed” and “suffering fresh doubts” about her marriage, forget it.
Those stories about her being trapped in a marriage with Mark Croft, about her suffering fresh doubts and being depressed are “lies”.
Get over them. And get over yourself.
This is Kerry Katona’s OK! Diary, OK, and she knows what’s what.
Okay!?
Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, OK! | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona Is ‘An Embarrassment’
SAYS Kerry Katona’s ex-husband Brian McFadden, known to millions of Westlife fans as pop sensation Bryan McPadding:
“Kerry is a disgusting human being. She manipulates people and plays the sympathy card for every stupid mistake she makes.
“Me and my family have been put through hell by her stupid games.
“She is an embarrassment.”
Posted: 21st, April 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SAYS KERRY Katona in OK! magazine: “I DON’T HAVE TO WEAN MY BABY OFF COCAINE.”
No, that what celebrity mums’ nurses are for, say you. But you’d be wrong.
Kerry does not have to wean her baby off cocaine because her baby is going to be a star and it’s good to get a taste for narcotics early and be one step ahead of the pack.
No, that’s not it either.
Posted: 16th, April 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, OK! | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona Is Weeks Ahead In The MTV Schedules
KERRY Katona, the sure-to-be face of Mash Cones, has gone in Labour five-weeks early.
As her waters broke like an exploding optic, brave Kerry was rushed to hospital, reports the Sun. There are “fears” that Kerry may be “on the brink of collapse”.
And because of this happening, Kerry’s puss-on-the-wall MTV series, Crazy in Love, is forced to finish five weeks short of its 16-week run.
Fans of the show, however, can make up for their disappointment by standing in a room and shouting into a carrier bag…
Posted: 10th, April 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
IT’S been a restless night for Kerry Katona’s fan.
Yesterday’s front-page news in the Mirror that Kerry might be suffering from pre-eclampsia – “which kills 10 mums and 1,000 babies every year” – was a shock.
But today the paper bring news that Kerry will not be the celebrity face of pre-eclampsia but more likely a spokesperson for Women Against Water Retention (WAWR). Tests show that Kerry has “severe water retention”.
Speaking from her hospital bed in
Kerry will now be on diet of neat gin to reduce her waters…
Posted: 27th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona’s Spin Doctor Prays
KERRY Katona has been rushed to hospital.
Iceland, purveyors of frozen squirrels, can rest easy. Kerry is not the victim of a rogue Boozie Brownie, but a possible victim of pre-eclampsia.
“SAD KELLY RUSHED TO HOSPITAL,” says the Mirror on its front page, a cruel and unnecessary slight of a woman in troubled times.
Says Max Clifford Doctor of Spin: “We’re praying for her but only time will tell… We just hope it’s not pre-eclampsia.”
No second opinion of offered…
Posted: 26th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona To Star In Jeremy Kyle: The Movie
“KERRY LIE TEST FOR MARK,” announces the News of the World’s front page.
Kerry Katona’s audition for the role of Lead Victim in Jeremy Kyle: The Movie sees the method acting reality TV star plan to make husband Mark Croft take a polygraph test after allegations he had affairs with two women.
Katona and Croft are starring in MTV series Crazy in Love, the world’s foremost mental illness reality TV show, adverts for which feature Kerry and Marc in a straight jacket.
A source close to the couple confirmed: “If Mark’s not telling the truth, he’s out.”
Out if his straight jacket…
That test in full:
KYLE: Name?
CROFT: Trisha Goddard…
Posted: 23rd, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona’s Wallpaper TV Challenge
KERRY Katona has once again leaned into the Priory Clinic’s revolving doors and moved within.
A spokesman for the face of frozen vegetables tells the Sun that her client is a “little down”.
Says a “source”: “She’s been locked away in her bedroom for days just staring at the wall – severely emotional and depressed.”
Kerry is, of course, featuring in Crazy In Love, a televised fly-on-the-wall docudrama about her life.
If you haven’t seen it, reports are that the show features Kerry sat in her bedroom for days just staring at the wall…
Posted: 20th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
