IC Milan And Milan Sees Me: David Beckhams Lights Up
WITH the US now conquered by footsoccer, David Beckham is off to Milan to show the Latins how the game works.
He’s bought place there and the Sun says it’s a “stone’s throw form an infamous red light district”.
Whether the stone is thrown by an aged nun or a vigilante is not known, but with Day-vid’s tuition, all stone throwers will be soon holding the pebble in two hands bending the arms behind the head and the shoulders forward.
Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
David Beckham To Take Football And Nylons To Italy
DAVID Beckham is in talks with Italy’s AC Milan.
With the US gone soccerball cray-zeee, Day-vid now needs to bring the game to the rest of the world.
Day-vid will be brining nylons, tinned food, democracy and bananas…
Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: Posh and Becks, Sports | Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Posh And Becks Behave Like Strangers
TO the Villa club in LA, where David Beckham and Victoria Beckham are pretending not to know one another.
The Star reports that each Beckham makes their way to the club on their own.
Day-vid sits and waits. He drinks gin and coke.
Her Poshness arrives and sips white wine.
Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Home Shopping: Posh And Becks Take On eBay Thieves
“BECKHAMS BETRAYED,” says the Mirror.
“Posh agony at ‘intimate’ items sold on eBay.
We feel her pain. You don’t put in the hard yards building the brand for someone else to cash in on your husband’s name.
News is that Beckhams’ housekeepers have been arrested on suspicion of stealing from the couple. As if Her Pohsness does not have enough to do looking after three kids and a mansion, she has to take care of a middle-aged couple.
What a gal!
Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Holmes On The Dangers Of Hanging Out With Posh And Tom
KATIE Holms was once cute. Katie Holmes once had allure. Katie Holmes married Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes became oddly aged and dressed like a dowager aunt at a bring-and-buy sale. Katie Holmes was befriended by Her Poshness. Katie Holmes ended up like this:
Posted: 13th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Terrible TV, Tom Cruise, Twitterings | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Victoria Beckham Rubs Bird Poo On Her Face
THE Daily Star bring news that Victoria Beckham has taken to rubbing bird poo on her face.
The paper tells its readers peering up at a tree of nesting rooks that the “geisha face mask” has been used for centuries by Japanese women who, we must assume, could not afford more expensive treatments.
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Proud Of You: Victoria Beckham Is Proud Of Katie Holmes
PROUD Of You – Anorak’s look at people being proud of others. The more tenuous the link, the better…
“We can’t wait to come support Katie… Her husband Tom Cruise says she’s amazing, The reviews have been amazing. We’re so proud of her” - Victoria Beckham is proud of Katie Holmes
It’s Anorak’s proudest Victoria Beckham moment to date…
Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Beckhams Smell Of Bunions, Plastic And Bones
AH, the smell of David Beckham and Her Poshness:
Tomorrow. New York. At Macy’s. Posh and Becks will make an in store appearance to promote their new fragrance Beckham Signature His and Her. For Him: smells like having sex with plastic and bones. For Her: smells like concrete tits, hunger, and bunions. First 300 get to meet them, receive autographs, and watch them pose their balls off.
Chanelle Hayes 1: Victoria Beckham 2
Victoria Beckham Is Zero And Paris Hilton Is Given One
The Smell of Victoria Beckham’s Sweat
Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Chanelle Hayes, Posh and Becks, Twitterings | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chip Shape Victoria Beckham Calls The Baby Ordering Service
“I’M not even trying to get pregnant at the moment,” says Victoria Beckham, batting off advances from the Sun’s Victoria Newton and a loaded turkey baster.
Instead Her Poshness wants to make use of the Celebrity Baby Ordering Service, the Anorak agency that logs all demands for babies from our elite stars.
Says Posh:
Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Victoria Beckham Runs On Chips
SUN readers can learn today why Victoria Beckham has “finally started to smile”.
Beneath a picture of Her Poshness, the Sun’s other front-page story is: “DAD KILLS TWO TOTS”. We wonder if these exclusives are linked and Posh has developed a darker, meaner character?
Inside the paper, we learn that Posh is happy because: “I’m eating more, I run 4 miles a day and I shop less.”
If she ran to the shops, Sticky Vicky could combine her twin passions and not be so hard on herself? Better yet, if Posh were to have her keep-fit trainer run just ahead of her trailing a hearty rice cake and a mirror?
And why else is Vicky smiling-ish?
Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Victoria Beckham Leeches Jennifer Lopez
VICTORIA Beckham has new hairdooo.
It’s front-page news in the Sun, Daily Star, Daily Mirror (PETER PAN POSH”), Daily Mail (“short Becks and sides”), and the Daily Express (“Urchin”).
The Sun’s Page 3, Keeley Hazell, says “it suits her”.
Readers get to see her Poshness’s new haircut as she steps out with Jennfier Lopez, aka Jenny Who Owns the Block.
As the picture shows, Posh is the one on the left, who has seemingly leached the colour from the once orangey-brown J-Lo.
Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Great Sporting Injuries: Fabian Espindola’s Own Goal
GREAT SPORTING INJURIES: Fabian Espindola, of Us soccer ball team Real Salt Lake, sis out for at least a month, thanks to a bad ankle sprain suffered when he did a backflip after a goal against David Beckham’s LA Galaxy on Saturday.
Update: A disallowed goal.
Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Back pages, Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Terrible TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd’s Neck Is Long Over Jew
DANIELLE Lloyd has had a new tattoo inked (etched?) down the nape of her orangey-brown neck.
This is “Dani’s Posh new tattoo,” says the Star.
For those of you reading Danielle from the rear, the tattoo spells: “Only god can judge me.”
Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sarah Palin: The David Beckham Effect
SARAH Palin Watch: Anorak’s look at Sarah Palin in the news…
SAYS Alabama’s Martha Stokes:
“It was a touchdown, grand slam home run, a three-point shot and whatever you do in soccer.”
David Beckham’s mission to bring soccerball to the Americans is a work in progress…
Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Posh and Becks, Race For The White House, Sarah Palin | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
David Beckham’s Nutrition Advice For The Painfully Thin
WHO is David Beckham talking about as he writes in the Mirror:
David Beckham Soccer Aid exclusive: You can help us tackle hunger
Who is us?
Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Food & Fat, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Los Angeles Residents Welcome You To London 2012 Olympics
DAVID Beckham and Leona Lewis welcome you to the London Olympics, says the Star.
Becks lives in Los Angeles, so does Leona. But what the hell, they were born in London and that will do.
The Times leads with pictures of Londoners who live in London, and a load of tourists, celebrating the arrival of the fearsomely expensive sporting event in four years time They are waving flags beating the Olympics logo - that picture of Lisa Simpson felating on an unknown IOC member.
Posted: 25th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Boris Watch, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Politicians, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Watching Victoria Beckham For Signs Of Food: Posh Sues Now Magazine
HER Poshness, former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham, is doing as Posh people so and suing Now magazine over claims she uses diet pills.
It is incredibly that someone who looks like an extra from a Lowrie rendering of Tenko should be the subject of so much chatter about her diet.
It’s a bit like those giant pandas, who don’t have sex - the media spends all day watching for a sign of coitus, while over in the monkey enclosure everyone’s at it like, well, the rabbits in the petting zoo. But look, is that a bamboo shoot, or is Ming Ming aroused?
Says Beckham’s agent Jo Milloy:
Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Toe-Curling Romeo Beckham’s Shot For Stardom
DAVID BECKHAM’S five-year-old is kicking a football.
News enough, but there is more:
His shot had onlookers open-mouthed as it mirrored his dad’s 2001 goal against Greece which saved England’s World Cup qualifying campaign.
That’s him taking the kick in a pair of open-toe Louboutin shag-me shoes and celebrating his refulgent strike by contorting his face into a lap-dog grimace. But the Sun says Romeo is “just like his dad”, and that is what he should be.
Posted: 7th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Good Loos: Rebecca Loos Brings Relief To Victoria Beckham
MORE good news for Daily Star readers as they spot Rebecca Loos topless at the seaside.
The good news is not that Ms Loos, David Beckham’s pig-tossing former PA, is, thanks to her breast attachments, unlikely to drown at sea.
The good news is not that Rebecca Loos is “back to her womanizing ways…romping with a mystery blonde pal”.
The good news is not that, as the Star says on its front page, these are “The pics Posh WON’T want to see” - a suggestion that it was Her Poshness and not Day-vid who really fancied Loos and it is she who will be upset by these pictures of Loss with another.
Posted: 29th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
America Clamps Down On Beckham And Soccer Players
DAVID Beckham has his work cut out…
Spotter: George K.
Posted: 28th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Photojournalism, Posh and Becks, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
