Katie Price’s Burning Sensation X Factor Presents The Week In Pictures
WHAT a week that was, folks. We saw Gary Glitter’s Halloween costume, a man was beaten to death on the telly for our entertainment, The Cheeky Girls encouraged thoughts of them mating with X Factor’s Jedward and creating a new breed of horror, Madonna sanitized Africa, police arrested West Ham, Stephen Fry fans pretending to be actors, had a strop on Twitter, X Factor agonist Danyl Johnson was beaten by Hitler, giving us another reason to hate Danyl with a Y, Marlon King was branded a typical footballer, you got to cover your cat’s anus with a glitter ball, Muslims laughed at Muslims, Ollie Murs reminded us of them, Iggy Pop, Muhammad reminded us of corduroy bodysuits, starred in a film as John Travolta, we blamed the Muslims for Madeleine McCann, Al Gore became a God, Daily Mail readers came out in favour of Sharia LawNazis and , we learnt that a virus can wear bovver boots, was burnt as a bitch, Katie PriceSusan Boyle was our transsexual Jesus, Lindsay Lohan died, almost, Ringo Starr became something funny in the water, we saw the Carrie Prejean sex tape, Katie and Peter got back together, we enjoyed blood porn, Sharon Osbourne presented her hairy arsehole, Jedward reviewed their novelty record collection, Elizabeth LambertBeyonce made us watch women’s football- and it was good, showed us her knickers and Nidal Malik Hasan became a victim as he murdered 13 people.
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Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Ten Craziest Reasons Why Nidal Malik Hasan Did It
TEN Reasons Why Nidal Hassan did It. As he saluted anyone in sight with two loaded handguns, Major Nidal Malik Hasan yelled “Allah Wakbar!” – God is great!” He then opened fire and murdered 13 people. Major Nidal Malik Hasan is now in a coma.
Want to know whay he did it? Here are the Top Ten Craziest Reasons:
The Typical American Fame-Hungry Gun Nutter
For a few hours late on Thursday, it seemed this would follow the usual sad script of shooting tragedies in America. The “monster” assailant would turn the weapon on himself or be instantly gunned down by others.
Only he didn’t. He kept shooting until he was shot.
1) Compassion Fatigue
Dr. Robin Kerner, an attending psychologist who specializes in disaster anxiety at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in New York City, said it’s not uncommon for individuals who work with traumatized patients to suffer the effects of “compassion fatigue.”
“This guy was counseling people coming back from war and there is something called secondary traumatization, where the therapist gets traumatized from hearing all the terrible things that have happened to the people they counsel.”
2) He Had Been Beheaded
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Bon Jovi Sign Jamie Archer, Alexandra Burke Urinates And Jedward Fix
IT’S Saturday and that means it’s X Factor Day in the tabloids. Well, it’s always X Factor Day in the tabloids but today they get to spice our quotidian offerings with the thought that it might be the last time we see John And Edward Grimes perform like fame’s singing testicles wired up to the car battery.
That news:
Sun (front page): “It’s the X Factor Bust Up”
It’s “JAMIE AGGRO”
Jamie is “Livid On A Prayer”
X FACTOR star Jamie Archer is threatening to QUIT after his relationship with mentor Simon Cowell hit a new low. The singer, who calls himself Jamie Afro, fears he is being stitched up by judges on the ITV talent show. It comes after he was BANNED from going on tour with rockers Bon Jovi - whose hits include Living On A Prayer.
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Beyonce’s Suspenders And West Ham Presents The MTV Europe Music Awards, In Pictures
THE MTV Europe Music Awards, features Beyonce in suspenders, Katy Perry in West Ham knickers and X Factor winner Leona Lewis wearing light.
With no Kanye West to enliven the AGM with a bit of popstar brattishness, it was down to the ladies to show off their primary sexual characteristics, to music: The pictures - and do see them all:
Posted: 6th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor’s John & Edward Grimes’ Novelty Record Top Ten
YESTERDAY, Anorak began its campaign to have the X Factor twosome John & Edward Grimes, aka Jedward, record a novelty record and, with luck and a following wind, take it to No.1 in time for Christmas.
To give them a clue as to the levels expected to them, we deliver the Top Ten Novelty Records Of All Time.
Can John & Edward Grimes join this elite band of cheap and chirpy talents? Join hands in a Millennium Prayer that they do:
10. On Top of Spaghetti, Tom Glazer & the Do Re Mi Children’s Choir.
Tapping into rich vein of laughing at foreingers. As performed on Noel Edmond’s Swap Shop – more from him later:
Posted: 6th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fort Hood Shootings Latest News: US Soldier Nidal Hasan Shoots 13 Dead
IN the Soldier Readiness Centre Fort Hood, Texas, 13 are shot dead and 31 are wounded. Nidal Hasan is captured. The news:
At least eight people have been shot in an Orlando, Florida, high-rise office building, CNN affiliates report.
As Chelsy say: “Here we go, now we will be getting a rash of shootings”
Woman saves: Kim Munley, a civilian police officer, is the woman who brought Hasan down by shooting him four times before he could murder more.
Woman killed: Chicago - FOX Chicago News has learned that a 21-year-old pregnant woman from the Northwest Side of Chicago was killed in the Fort Hood shooting spree Thursday.
Francheska Velez, a 2006 graduate of Kelvyn Park, recently had returned from a tour of duty in Iraq.
Reader Cheryl writes: The military/government over here never stops with its deceiving and coverups. Six and a half hours they let the press and hence the public believe the shooter was dead! You two know how reporters would think and react when deliberately led to believe and write wrong information and made look the fools six and a half hours later. Guess the Government and military officials needed those 6 1/2 hours to get their stories straight about what was known or not known about the Major! Now the CNN news is talking about the Major was on the ‘radar’ to be watched over the last months for some blogs or other stuff he had written about suicide bombing, his intense dislike for the Iraqi War, he wasn’t going over, etc, etc. etc. CNN with Larry King and Anderson Cooper are far from happy being deceived.
Tim Blair: The evasiveness of media in the immediate wake of the Fort Hood murders is astonishing. The ABC’s Lisa Millar opened her midday report claiming to have “learned quite a lot about the gunman”, then revealed very little of it – apart from that Malik Nadal Hasan had “attracted a lot of harassment because of his last name” and “family background”. This came about, Millar reported, despite Hasan being born and raised in the US. Not mentioned in eight minutes of coverage: Hasan’s faith, which in a case like this is surely of interest.
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comments (17) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Shaddap You Face: John & Edward Fight To Bring Back The Novelty Christmas Song
X FACTOR Watch: Jedward walks, Max Clifford stalks, Pete Warterman puts on rose-tinted specs for Pop Idol, Cheryl Cole’s teeth are wanted, Dannii Minogue is a sight screen and Anorak’s campaign to bring back the novelty record…
Jedward, the two–headed beast, move onto another week’s awfulness. They need to make it truly terrible to keep their bandwagon going. It’s not easy to be hated. Look at Noel Edmonds.
They say that when Jedward sings the world heats up and a polar bar suffocates. They say the CIA are using recordings of Jedward to torture prisoners’ gonads. They say Jedward are husband and wife, hailing from a small factory in China.
They say they must win to restore the novelty record to its rightful place as the Christmas no.1. Where is the new Renee and Renato? Mr Blobby? Bob The Builder?
And after Christmas, where is the new Father Abraham’s crooning for his Smurfs, T.U.R.T.L.E. Power, The Purple People Eater and anything by STEPS? Jedward… We need you to bring back the novelty Christmas record.
To today’s X Factor news:
Herald (Ireland): “No stopping Jedward now as celeb agent Max Clifford is set to snap up the twins”
X Factor twins John and Edward Grimes are being lined up by celebrity agent Max Clifford as their popularity soars.
Look out for Jedward pulling on matching Chelsea kits, shagging a bit-part actress and becoming the new Kerry Katonas.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
True Blood Porn, Oral Sex And Vampire Orgies, In Pictures
THE Mail’s latest ‘ban this sick filth’-type article comes in the form of a rant against HBO vampire series True Blood. Olivia Lichtenstein - who else? - writes:
True Blood is a shocking tale of depravity, explicit sexuality (bordering on pornography) and vile language.
Even before the opening credits have rolled in the first episode, we see a young woman pleasuring a young man while driving her car.
That’s just before a picture of the two leads having sex. Just so you can see how depraved it is.
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Katie Price Burning: A Life In Pictures
IN Kent, they are burning Katie Price. They had thought of burning the BNP “people” but “they’ve had enough publicity”. So the next best thing to set on fire is Katie Price. She is being burnt because “it’s fun”.
The other reason to burn Katie is that it “gets the press and get the publicity”. But mostly setting light to a caring mother of three, one of the UK’s best-loved writer since Charles Dickens, and walking aide to masturbation is for “fun”.
The one other shocker is that dignified Peter Andre never thought of it first…
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Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peter Andre And Katie Price: Harvey’s Swine Flu, A Gay Secret And Back Together
KATIE Price & Peter Andre Watch:Peter’s “gay secret”, Harvey’s celebrity swine flu, Yate awaits, Peter and Katie back together and Peter’s sex life…
“PETER Andre’s Big Gay Secret,” announces the Daily Star’s front page,.
What’s that big gay secret, then? Peter isn’t all that tall:
PETE Andre is poised to become the new Paul O’Grady in a megabucks telly deal. The Aussie is at the centre of a TV tug-of-war as two major networks battle to sign him up. He has been approached by Channel 4 and ITV about hosting his own show. Channel 4 bosses are keen to unveil him as the new O’Grady, while ITV want him as their permanent guest host on Friday’s This Morning.
Paul O’Grady is gay. Is that the “Big Gay Secret?” As for Sentimental Pete presenting a TV show:
Last night an ITV spokesman said there were no new plans to work with Peter. But he added: “He is currently working on This Morning and ITV1 and doing very well.” There was no-one available for comment at Channel 4.
So what is Peter Andre up to if he’s not presenting a tea-time telly show?
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Carrie Prejean Sex Tape: Get The Picture
CARRIE Prejean, the sacked Miss California who dared to agree with Barack Obama on gay rights, and was duly threatened with violence by celebrity blogger gone native Perez Hilton, has followed her mucky pictures – shocker: model wears underwear in pictures! - with a sex tape.
When sacked from her job as representing Miss California in a bikini – those dirty, dirty, photos - she sued the Miss California organization for libel and religious discrimination. Miss California USA counter-sued, saying that Prejean never repaid a loan she received for breast implants. (She can enter the Miss Plastic surgery GP).
Now the sex tape leaks, or threatens to. The web goes wild. First up is TMZ, which tells us:
Carrie Prejean demanded more than a million dollars during her settlement negotiations with Miss California USA Pageant officials - that is, until the lawyer for the Pageant showed Carrie an XXX home video of her handiwork.
That’s a pun. Prejean is a practicing Christian, which means her religion can be used against her. Prejean was suing the pageant organisers for slander, libel and “religious discrimination”
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Boris Mayor Chooses Oiks Over Scum In Nick Of Time
SUSPICIONS are that London mayor Boris Johnson would have rescued a woman under attack from an armed group of young girls has he been able to think of what to shout at them sooner.
Boris’s initial reaction was to yell “FU**ING ADA”, followed by “C****S!” But to do so would be unbecoming to his stranding as a likeable toff.
As Boris thinks, Franny Armstrong is surrounded in Camden, north London. A girl pushes her. Another girl has an iron bar. Others have hoods.
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor Stars Do A Christmas Carol, In Pictures
ANORAK was at the world premiere of Disney’s A Christmas Carol in Leicester Square last night.
All the big stars were giving a remake of a remake of what once was book of a cartoon the weight it deserves: Olly Murs, Stacey Solomon, Danyl Johnson, Jedward, Lucie Jones, Lloyd Daniels, Joe McElderry, Jamie Archer and anyone else you had never heard of a few months ago.
Peter Andre was also there, trying not to outshine the talent and doing his now trademark impression of Bob Cratchit to Katie Price’s Scrooge…
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Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Jedward’s Threesome, Olly Murs Croaks And Ghostbusters
X FACTOR Watch: Jedward sex shocker, Olly Murs croaks, a threesome, A Christmas Carol, Peter Andre and more sex…
PSST! Want to know about the “TWINS SEX FACTOR SECRET”?
The Daily Star follows its news on the “SIN TWINS - Shock X Factor favourites John and Edward Grimes have lifted the lid on their sex, drugs and booze demons” – with a focus on Jewdwar’s sex lives.
X FACTOR twins John and Edward Grimes are hiding a bombshell sex secret from their fans…
Can you guess? Is it:
a) They are brother and sister
b) They are husband and wife
c) They are shagging Dannii Minogue
d) They are virgins
e) They have no primary sexual characteristics
The answer is… d. And:
The gruesome twosome have only had one girlfriend between them.
What young girl or guy would not want to be the one between John And Edward?
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: Let’s Blame The Muslims
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: The McCanns has aked the police to create an image of Our Maddie as she might look now. There is also a video. The media gets to work:
Sky News: “Pictures Of Madeleine McCann, Aged Six”
Police have released new age-enhanced pictures of Madeleine McCann. This is how Madeleine McCann would look now, aged six. We’ve seen similar artist’s impressions before.
There’s a video of the missing child in seven languages, on the website of the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre. One picture shows her with a deep suntan she might have developed if she is living in southern Europe or North Africa.
Says Ceop’s head Jim Gamble:
“The person we are looking to reach is likely to be a partner, family member, friend or colleague of the person or people who were involved in Madeleine’s disappearance. If you haven’t divulged your secret because of love, loyalty or fear, be assured that it is never too late to reveal the information to your local police…
“If you are a parent or carer, a student or member of the public who is a social networker, blogger or emailer, or if you run any type of online environment, big or small, please look at the film today, link to it, share it with your friends and post it in the online communities you occupy.”
That’s Ceop. Never heard of it? You have now.
Those front pages:
Posted: 3rd, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (51) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Olly Murs Look-Alike Gallery
X FACTOR hopeful Olly Murs has a name that if said fast enough sounds like a new contagion. Olly Murs are catching. Olly Murs is the favourite to win the show.
He is the new sensation. Only, Anorak cannot help but think that we’ve seen Olly Murs before. Ollys Murs. Olly Murs. Must stop swaying his name. Anyhow, here’s the look-alike gallery…
Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Hanging All Footballers For Marlon King’s Crimes, With Carole Malone’s Old Rope
FOOTBALLER Marlon King’s victim – he punched her in the face – wants to show you her face and tell you what a bastard he is. And he is. But Carole Malone wants more. She wants to attack all footballers and football fans.
But you don’t need to look at the picturesm, which are front-page news in the NoTW. You can listen to Emily Carr tell all about the attack.
As King, 29, began an 18-month jail sentence for groping 20-year-old student Emily Carr and punching her in the face, she told for the first time how the £35,000-a-week striker taunted and floored her in the vicious nightclub attack.
It’s a story told in adjectives: “Student Emily”; “vicious nightclub attack”; “horrifying injuries”; “devastated victim”; “horrific moment”…
Our shock pictures reveal the awful aftermath of the beating that left Emily spattered head to toe in blood, her teeth forced through her lip and her nose badly broken - disfigured for life.
Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Finding Another Reason To Hate Gay Danyl Johnson
THE media hatchet job on the X Factor Danyl Johnson continues as the NoTW screams:
Danyl Johnson’s 100% gay
Not too long ago, the NoTW told us that Danyl Johnson was “bi”, which made him 50% gay.
I’VE DAN IT WITH BOYS AND GIRLS
Now we get the fact that he is 100% gay. Or as the sub-header puts it:
EX BOSS RECKONS X FACTOR STAR’S BISEXUAL BOAST IS JUST A POSE
Paige Bond, who managed his old band, said he was NEVER interested in women but was terrified that admitting he was gay would wreck his shot at stardom.
Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: Kate McCann To Appear On BBC And ITV Interviews
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Madeleine McCann is on the cover of the Sunday Express. Says the headline:
McCanns launch TV blitz to find Maddie
If only the Express group and owners had TV channels they could use to help. Of, course, they do:
We interrupt this edition of Teen A*** Sla*s on the Fantasy Channel to bring news of the appeal to find Our Maddie.
We must all do what we can to help. The Sunday Express tells us:
KATE McCANN will take part in a round of heart-rending TV interviews this week appealing for anyone who has knowledge of her daughter Madeleine’s kidnapping to come forward.
Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (24) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor Live Blog: Jedward Doomed And Danyl Johnson Is Beaten By Hitler
IT’S Rock Week on the X Factor, in which TV viewers get stuck between rock and the hard place that is finding something else to watch on another channel.
Cheryl Cole is wearing Mickey Mouse’s ears on her chest and telling Joe he’s going “all the way”.
Joe McElderry sings Don’t Stop Believin’, by Journey, whish is casue fo Louis Walsh to say:derry
“Don’t stop believin’ Joe, I think you’re going to make it to the final!”
Lucie Jones arrives and sings Sweet Child O’ Mine in the style of a young girl singing Guns ‘N Roses. Since this is how it is supposed to be sung, Lucie has done well. Tonight’s winner.
Danyl Johnson is weeping. Someone said he was less liked than Hitler. He should not worry. Hitler is wildly popular in some areas of the country, like Oldham. If he can crack the Home Counties - although, not he leafier parts of Surrey, obviously - he can still make it. Cheryl Cole, who what with the Mickey Mouse outfit, the husband and the tears could do a one-woman version of Steamboat Willy, tells Danyl, who has crooned I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing, by Aerosmith.
“I wanted to see you come out after a tough week, Rachel was in the bottom two for the first two weeks and she came out fighting - that’s kinda what I was hoping to see from you. You do it well, you do it every week but you just don’t do it for me.”
Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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