50p cheaper than the Daily Mail and 50 times more fun
Irish Judge Stops Drink Drive Trial For Urine Steam Inhalation
When he is urinating, he is inhaling vapourised alcohol and there's always steam off it
Slapland: Dorset Santa Attacked In Great War On Christmas
TO the Lapland New Forest in Dorset, where the little alcopop munchers are dandling on Santa’s arthritic a knee:
Santa: “So – ho-ho – what d’yer want for Christmas/XMas/Diwali/Eid/Winter solsctice/ Chanukah Christmas/ Bhodi/Present Day (delete as applicable), little girl?”
Armani Alcopop: “You f*** you callin’ a ho, muvverf****r? Give me the lot or I’ll tell me mum you touched me and you listen to Gary Glitter records. Paedo!”
Too late. As the Sun screams from its front page: “Santa and three elves beaten up in Lapland.”
Posted: 3rd, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Headline Of the Day: German Troops To Serve In France
GET this: “German Troops to Serve in France.”
It’s like those 1940 headlines all over again…
Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Life In The UK Is Lonelier Than Ever Before
THE research has been done and the BBC can confirm that “Life in UK ‘has become lonelier’”.
Researchers from the University of Sheffield had planned to speak with hundreds of people, but once they knocked on the door of widow Mrs Linda Hartle, and she answered, they felt unable to leave, staying for a spot of tea and to look through countless photo albums of life as it once was.
When Mrs Hartle began to cry and plead that it was too late for the researchers to go home, and what with the icy roads and hoodies too dangerous, they decided to stay a while longer…
Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
How To Work Britney Spears Into Your Column, By Peter McKay
PETER McKay is enlivening his moribund Daily Mail column with a big picture of Britney Spears in her fishnets and pants.
After talk of her “train-wreck life, of public meltdowns, drug and alcohol abuse and difficult personal relationships,” he tells us that it’s all “very far removed from girlie pop music of old, isn’t it?” His example? Like Patti Page.
Ah, yes, La Page.
Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
‘Nuff Edward Said: The Compartmentalization Of The Knowledge
FROM a new biography of Edward Said:
This was, in other words, the moment in Western history that, simultaneous with the expanding geographical horizon of the Eurocentric gaze, witnessed the compartmentalization of the knowledge of being into disciplines and the consequent reduction of its be-ing to ‘fields,’ ‘domains,’ or ‘maps’ and further classifications and tabulations of its living details—that is, the development of knowledge/power relations that, according to Said, came to characterize the next (third) phase of the history of Orientalist discourse.
Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
How CNN Helped The Mumbai Terrorists: Update
IN Mumbai the terrorists are watching themselves on the telly.
Lynne and Kenneth Shaw, of Penarth, are in the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel.
Mrs Shaw claims the American cable TV channel CNN broadcast details of where they were.
Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
In Living Colour: A Short History Of British Television
BRITAIN was the first country in Europe to provide regular colour television broadcasts.
Early experiments in the 1950s led to the announcement in March 1966 that a fledgling service was planned. (A live colour feed was provided for the World Cup final, but, as with numerous other broadcasts, no one appears to have considered it worthy of keeping.)
Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Police Help Iraq Veteran Aspinall Atune To Broken Britain (Video)
FOLLOWING news of CCTV devices that can predict crime, Anorak hears of Lance Corporal Mark Aspinall being toughened up for life in Broken Britain by three uniformed officers in Wigan, Lancashire.
Having been beaten up, Aspinall is then hauled before the Beak and convicted of attacking the policemen. He is ordered to pay one PC Lightfoot £100 in compensation and one of the other officers £150. He is also ordered to serve 200 hours community service and given a three-month suspended prison sentence.
Says Aspinall:
Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
