50p cheaper than the Daily Mail and 50 times more fun
Irish Judge Stops Drink Drive Trial For Urine Steam Inhalation
When he is urinating, he is inhaling vapourised alcohol and there's always steam off it
NO Maddie. No Diana. No blondes. So it’s fruit and veg…
A week is a long time in fruit and veg…
Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Sewer Skewer: Man Cooks Kebab By Dead Body
“CARRY on cooking: Chef made kebabs as body of dead colleague lay on sofa.” So says the Mail. It is the Sun’s “Goner Kebab”.
And what of Jaswinder Singh? Is he billed in the tabloids as a consciencious worker, one in the eye for workshy shirkers? Is he a man planning ahead, going long on meat?
Is he ready to brandish a man-sized skewer and turn whistleblower on the kebab industry?
Is this a satire on kebab shop knifings?
No, he is the source of cheap puns and accusations.
Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Media, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ordering Out A Prostitute From The Menu
TO Zapatas eatery, Shanghai, wher you can order a prostitute to go, or al carte…
Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
JAMIE Oliver takes time out from telling fat football fans oop north to eat well and tells us:
“In the old days I used to get the knickers and the bras. It was good. Filth whispered in me ears.
“He’s a w***er” (Times.
They’re just bored of me now. I’m just that geezer who keeps, you know, doing these worthy things around the country.”
Like shoving it down people’s throats…
Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Food & Fat, Jamie Oliver | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ronald McDonald Puts Paul McCartney’s Hair In A Bun
“WHAT sort of morons do McDonald’s think Beatles’ fans are,” asks Paul McCartney’s spokesman Geoff Baker.
The sort of morons who listen to records backwards, write their names on walls and think crossing the road is photo opportunity?
Says a PETA spokesman, the voice of dumb animals:
“He became a vegetarian after watching lambs play in field outside his home and surely would not want to use his likeness to promote meat.”
The Sun says that Macca “hit the roof” after a branch of McDonald’s in his native Liverpool put pictures of The Beatles on the walls “to attract customers”.
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Food & Fat, Paul McCartney | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Falafel Wars: Lebanon And Isreal’s Food Fight
SO this is war. Who threw the first falafel. Come on. Own up!
A new war between Israel and Lebanon has erupted, but this time the war is not geopolitical, but rather an issue of cuisine-who has sovereignty over traditional Arab dishes and sandwiches.
There’s nothing like a good old traditional Labanese Lord Al Sandwich.
Posted: 7th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
High Times In Class C As Pupil Gives Teacher Hash Cakes
HIGH times at Class C, at Wortley High School in Leeds, West Yorks, where a 15-year-old has been expelled after, allegedly, giving hash cakes to two teaching assistants.
Says the Sun:
The members of staff fell violently ill with dizziness and severe headaches hours after tucking into treats the teenager made at home.
It was cannabis. Well, “probably”. The Sun says the cakes have not been tested.
The student would seem to have right to appeal, and should we not applaud her home economics skills. She did not buy the hash cakes ready made but produced them self from scratch, and all natural ingredients.
Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sample recipe: Goulash with stallion or bull testicles
Ingredients
2-3 tablespoons lard
4kg stallion of bull testicles
2-3 onions
1 clove garlic
peppercorn and ground pepper
thyme
mint herb
milfoil (plant)
red ground seasoning pepper or tomato puree
hot chilli pepper to taste
salt
mix seasoning
1 tbsp plain flour
200ml white wine
1 tablespoon honey
2 squares cooking chocolate
Method
Cut testicles into thin slices. Fry briefly, adding finely chopped onion, garlic, black ground pepper and chilli. Cook while gradually adding water. When nearly finished, add white wine. When wine evaporates a bit, add mix seasoning, pepper, thyme, milfoil, red pepper powder, mint herb and a tablespoon of flour. Mix all well until wine completely evaporates and at the very end add honey and chocolate. Instead of red ground seasoning pepper you can use tomato puree. Tomato puree is used to get red colour, so don’t use ketchup.
Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
