50p cheaper than the Daily Mail and 50 times more fun
Irish Judge Stops Drink Drive Trial For Urine Steam Inhalation
When he is urinating, he is inhaling vapourised alcohol and there's always steam off it
Royal Houses And Mansions For Immigrants
DANNI “cannot believe it’s possible to get a £1.2 million mansion on state benefits.”
Danni appears on the Sun’s Page 3, responding to the front-page news, “Mother of all council houses”, the tale of the mum-of-seven, Afghan refugee who lives in a £1.2 mansion in Acton.
Readers learn that taxpayer Toorpakai Saindi’s residence causes the local council to pay her landlord £12,458 a month in rent.
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Immigration, Media, Page 3 Girls, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Lucy Pinder Beats The Playboy Credit Crunch
CREDIT Crunch news of the day: Lucy Pinder saves Playboy…
“Daily Star discovery Lucy Pinder is set to save Playboy magazine from going bust,” says the, er, Daily Star.
After that, perhaps she can appear in the Daily Express?
Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Credit Crunch, Money, Page 3 Girls, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Theo Walcott Scores With Topless Page 3 Girl
THEO Walcott is Trio Walcott, England’s hat-trick hero.
And topless Mel, 24, from Morecambe, lies back in the sand and tells Sun readers what she makes of it:
“The lad’s always had blistering pace, but I used to worry he might be a bit lightweight at this level. Last night he showed how much he’s grown in every department of the game.”
Bravo!
At a time when so many footballers are aping stunnas (shaved chests, sacked, crack and backs; moisturiser; tears), it’s heartening to see that stunnas are learning from footballers.
Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Page 3 Girls, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Page 3 Girls Quote Of the Day: Sammy Braddy’s Gang
SAMMY Braddy is showing Zoo magazine readers “THE BEST BOOBS IN BRITAIN” (hers).
Says Sammy on the subject of bras (not featured):
“It’s very tricky to wear anything that doesn’t make you look a little bit slutty.”
Indeed, best to bother with neither bra nor knickers and look like a lot slutty…
Posted: 29th, July 2008 | In: Magazines, Page 3 Girls | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Reasons To Be Cheerful: Keeley Hazell And Michael Jackson
THE naked pictures of Big Brother’s Channels make up the Star’s “THREE REASONS TO SMILE” front-page news. Reasons to be cheerful.
Like Anorak, readers may be confused as to what these three reasons are, the front page featuring:
“Keeley – My hottest topless pics ever”
“Hols from £5 – and you can go right now”
“FREE Naked Chanelle poster”
“JACKO FLAT ON HIS BACKO – Star can’t walk”
Old Mr Anorak considers a topless shot of Keeley Hazell to be two reasons to smile, or if viewed through his pre-war bifocals, four, which leaves room for debate on what the other part of the triple-grin is.
Posted: 10th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Page 3 Girls, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sophie Price Does Implied Topless
WHO’S that girl on the Star’s cover page?
The face of a young Bobby Charlton between the hair and body of Cherie Blair circa 1983, suggests she’s the product of an unlikely coupling.
Inside there are more pictures of her, and our patron Old Mr Anorak identifies the woman as the new face of Channel X, his fellow one-handed organist Mr Richard Desmond’s tissue-clad TV channel.
Further reading and we learn that this vision is Sophie Price, sister to Katie Price, the model who put Jordan on the map.
Posted: 18th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre, Page 3 Girls, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Moobs And Pun Bags Replace Page 3 Girls
THANKS to the Sun breasts are now so popular that even boys are getting them.
Yesterday, we brought news that doctors at Alder Hey Hospital in Liverpool have reported a growing number of lads wanting breast surgery to reshape their “moobs”.
But the Sun says the knife is not for everyone. For every Jordan, there is a Simon Cowell. And Sun doctor Keith Hopcroft “reckons top-heavy teen boys just need to exercise more”.
Says Dr Keith: “A breast epidemic is every adolescent boy’s dream. But not when it’s the boys who are affected – and especially if it’s starting to overwork our plastic surgeons. It’s not all bad news, though.”
It’s the bad mobs, or “mockers” or “mits”.
Says Dr Keith: “So let’s get a grip. Starting with the moobs themselves.”
That’s enough forom Dr Keith, who sees the mobs as nothing more than pun bags.
Posted: 21st, May 2008 | In: Page 3 Girls, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
If Aliens Didn’t Exist The Catholic Church Would Have To Make Them Up
THE new upmarket Daily Sport is unsure how to progress.
The front page is split between a picture of Emma who “GETS ‘EM OUT ON PAGE 3” and an image of the Pope’s disembodied head overhung by the headline “ALIENS EXIST SAYS POPE”.
The Pope’s eyes are angled at Emma, offering readers the possibility that the two stories are linked and the innocent Pope has mistaken Emma’s out-of-the-world charms for two extra terrestrials.
News of a topless model on Page 3 is as starling as news that the Pope is Catholic. And moving beyond Emma we receive news that “THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE”, a fact illustrated by a topless female with a cone-shaped head.
And there’s the Pope in a miter, an arrow pointing to it and the Sport’s poser: “Is he hiding something?”
Posted: 15th, May 2008 | In: Page 3 Girls, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
