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Nicola McLean’s Optics Illusion To Timmy Mallett’s Little Kilroy-Silk
Mine's a Robert Kilroy-Silk, what's yours called?
Baby P: Like Diana’s Death, I Was There
The tabloids' cemetery land grab for readers’ hearts and minds
Police Nab Nobby Beach Man With Penis In Pasta Jar
A man caught near Nobbys Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20 kmh car chase
American Idol: On The Casting Couch With Jason Castro
AMERICAN Idol, American TV’s search for a Gareth Gates, has a new winner.
As the National Enquirer reports, his name is David Cook. He’s about as memorable as that last breath you took. And it would seem that America has its man.
While Simon Cowell hooks up Gates and Cook into a the ultimate reality show double act, the Enquirer’s Mike Walker watches the losers trundle into post-performance therapy.
Posted: 29th, May 2008 | In: American Idol, Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
American Idol Carrie Underwood Is The Dentists’ Choice
WHEN Carrie Underwood was voted American Idol version 2391b a world of opportunity opened up for her.
Underwood has been voted “Smile of the Year” by one of America’s top half dozen leading dentistry magazines.
She has arrived.
Carrie says “Fnph gnuf lopikishy”, and the dentist with his forefinger and thumb in her mouth blushes.
He then asks her where she’s off to on holiday, tells her he feeds his tropical fish on his homemade fish food recipe, and that he hopes in 20 years time his patients will still be reading about Carrie’s wonderful, if slightly dog-eared, smile…
Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: American Idol, Anorak In New York, Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Paula Abdul’s American Idol Tribute To Albert Hoffman
AMERICAN Idol requires the judges to pass judgement when every contestant has sung one song.
Paula Abdul listens to agonist Jason Castro. He sings one song:
“Oh gosh, we’ve never had to write these things down … fast enough,” says Abdul. “Jason, first song, I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear, um….
“…The second song, I felt like your usual charm wasn’t - it was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty.”
Indeed.
Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: American Idol, Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Gordon Brown On American Idol: Malaria No More
GORDON Brown is on American Idol. Really…
Really…
Really… Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, April 2008 | In: American Idol, Anorak TV, Beyond Parody, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Simon Cowell Offers To Check In Britney Spears
BIG–HEARTED Simon Cowell has offered Britney Spears a shot at redemption.
As the Star reports (“SIMON BIDS TO SAVE BRITNEY”), the man with teeth whiter than Mel Gibson’s tan line says Britney can appear on his hit TV show American Idol.
“Sure,” says Cowell, “she can come on American Idol – as a contestant.
We at Anorak embrace the offer. Indeed, we would like the proposal to go further and for the entertainment industry to take a leaf from El Al’s book.
Granted, the Israeli airline is more interested in spotting potential terrorists intent on blowing up one of its planes than finding tomorrow’s Gareth Gates, but the airline operates a policy whereby security staff are tapped on the shoulder and invited to board a flight.
The judges of who is fit and proper to fly are, with no prior warning, placed among the riffraff. This keeps them vigilant.
(In an interesting aside, the Star reports that Muhammed Abdel-Al, leader of Palestinian terror group, the Popular Resistance Committees, says “If I meet those whores I will have the honour to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they keep spreading satanic culture against Islam.” Everyone’s a critic.)
And so to American Idol and all manner of reality TV talent shows. The established acts that pass judgement on the unsung talent, such as Paula Abdul (American Idol) and Danni Minogue (X Factor), are invited at random to see if they can cut it.
At a moment’s notice they are handed a song sheet and invited to sing for their careers.
Can Britney do Britney better than one of her fans?
Or will she crash and burn..?
Posted: 14th, September 2007 | In: American Idol, Britney Spears, Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
American Idol: Jordin Sparks Controversy
AMERICAN Idol is over for another year. The tears, the joy, the talent and the, er, did we mention the tears?
But there is talk of a fix. Tabloid Baby investigates:
JORDIN Sparks is the new American Idol.
After a bloated two-hour show whose highlights included a performance by an 80-year-old man, a human beatbox duet, the indelible memory of Ruben Studdard singing “Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds”, and the lower half of Kelly Clarkson’s body, the questions this morning are whether Jordin, a 17-year-old Christian and anti-abortion crusader, will use her new role to spread her controversial agenda– and whether Idol producers played a little in-joke by having Jordin sing background on the Beatles’ “She’s Leaving Home”– a song about a girl sneaking out of the house to have an abortion.
And there will be debate today about whether Jordin’s victory was in the cards from the beginning, even before judge Randy Jackson predicted that the winner would have “curly hair.” We direct you to an article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer that followed the Seattle audition episode– Jordin’s first appearance on Idol:
Seattle Post Intelligencer
January 19, 2007
On TV: Seattle’s ‘Idol’ auditions: Hurt so good
By MELANIE McFARLAND
P-I TELEVISION CRITIC
…”Idol,” in turn, gave us a young, bright, charismatic, pretty contestant who looks so much like the show’s idea of the total package that she could be a ringer….
…One shining star stood out: 16-year-old Jordin Sparks from Glendale, Ariz. She’s beautiful, has a smile that can light up L.A., and tore apart Celine Dion’s “Because You Love Me.”
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
Seeing her is supposed to drive home the reason we keep running back to “Idol.” Young, ambitious and undiscovered, she embodies the dream of “Idol,” the idea that someone with small but bright embers of talent can, within the space of a few months, shoot from obscurity to superstardom.
Except that’s not exactly the case with this young woman.
Out of nowhere, Abdul says she recognizes Sparks’ name– and Sparks reveals she is the daughter of former New York Giants cornerback Phillippi Sparks. What a coinky-dink!
And that’s not all! Jordin Sparks has an exhaustive Wikipedia page, where you can find out interesting facts such as: She was the Coca-Cola Rising Star in 2002. Coca-Cola, of course, being “Idol’s” major sponsor. She also appeared in “America’s Most Talented Kids” in 2004, toured with Michael W. Smith and sang in Alice Cooper’s Christmas show. Winning “Arizona Idol” netted her a Ford Fusion and a trip to Seattle. Wonder if she had to wait in line?
Fix?
Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: American Idol | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
American Idol: A Fix Of Pro Life For Jordin Sparks
AMERICAN Idol enters the final gasps and Tabloid Baby senses scandal, controversy and other things that might just make the show more intersting than the usual karaoke on the end of the pier. Contestant Jordin Sparks met Simon Cowell before the show. Is it all a fix?
As TB writes, “Now that Jordin Sparks has moved into the forefront of the American Idol race, the backlash is underway, with conspiracy theories in full swing– and a political hot potato that’s jumped from the back burner to center stage.
We told you about the initial controversy over Jordin’s entry into this season’s contest (aided by Idol sponsor Coca Cola), and suspicion that her victory has been in the cards all along. Now, photos showing Jordin with Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson, supposedly taken three years ago, have led speculation that the judges may have pretended not to know her when she auditioned– and that she’s indeed been groomed for Idoldom in some secret lab.
And now add the Christian Right to mix!
Jordin’s never been shy about her Christian faith. She recorded a CD with “Jesus music” pioneer Matthew Ward, toured with Christian singer Michael W. Smith, placed second in 2004 at the Gospel Music Association’s Music in the Rockies national competition for aspiring Contemporary Christian Music artists (the same one that Chris Sligh competed in two years earlier). And the GMA says it recognizes Jordin and fellow finalist Melinda Doolittle as Christian artists who are “keeping the faith.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with a big organized Christian Idol voting bloc (remember those phone centers in India?), but the controversy gets down to politics, in the form of abortion.
Though she’s only seventeen and probably won’t have to think seriously about the issue until she goes on the Idol tour and finds out she’s been knocked up by Sanjaya, Jordan is well-known in her home state of Arizona and among the Christian crowd as a “pro-life”– or anti-abortion– crusader. And until recently, she apparently had this picture on her MySpace page:
Photos of Jordin at anti-abortion events and stories about her activism have been on line for months, but only reaching mainstream attention now that she has the best chance of taking the American Idol title.
The stir that’s brewing is similar to last year’s storm over contestant Mandisa and her connection to the “ex-gay” movement. And with some expressing concern that Jordin will use her American Idol platform to preach against abortion, this sort of fight is one that will bring out votes on both sides.
Posted: 12th, May 2007 | In: American Idol | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sanjaya Malakar Goes To Washington - And Britney Spears Wants Him
SANJAYA Malakar, the American Idol reject with 12 minutes of fame still to go, has been spotted at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner in Washington.
As TMZ reports, Malakar tells Ellen DeGeneres on her TV show, he doesn’t believe Howard Stern’s fans and other “haters” voted enough “to make a dent in the system”.
It’s hard not to admire the young lad’s confident in his ability. If Ignorance is bliss Sanjaya is in a state of near-orgasmic ecstasy.
But he is demand. Britney Spears wants him.
The National Ledger quotes a source telling Star magazine: “Britney started watching American Idol when she was in rehab. She became a huge Sanjaya fan and thinks the two of them can make beautiful music together.”
And there goes Sanjaya to the White House Correspondents’ dinner. He’s the guest of People magazine.
And Tabloid Baby looks on as Sanjaya sits down at the bun fight with Larry King and two other notables. As TB says: “Find three things that upstaged Larry King at tonight’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner in Washington.”
Makes you wonder what Sanjaya could do with Britney…
Posted: 22nd, April 2007 | In: American Idol | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
