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Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995Tabloid news for broadsheet readers |
Online PR here in the UK
IN China, the Master Kong bottled water is on sale. It’s dee-lish-ooos.
The TV advert says the mineral water, sold in Beijing for 1.5 yuan a bottle, is made of “high-quality water source” (äźč´¨ć°´ćş).
The “high-quality water source” is also known as tap water. But there is a twist: you have to boil the wonder product before it’’s safe to drink.
MADDIE WATCH - Anorakâs at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
DAILY MIRROR: âReal victims who reduced me to tearsâ
Fiona Philips â âthe woman with the whitest teeth and yellowest hair in daytime tellyâ â âon GMTV heartaches and meltdownsâ
Fiona Philips is fighting the tears as Helen Newlove, whose husband Garry has been murdered, is sat on the sofa to tell her story.
Tears are the new laughter.
A MAN has been beheaded on a Greyhound bus in Canada. In Canda, no-one can hear you scream. It’s like living in a chicken shed, only bigger, colder and without Jamie Oliver.
Peta, the animals rights militants have not claimed responsibility for the killing, but they are using it to further their cause. They are running an advert. It goes:
 âHis struggles and cries are ignored … the man with the knife shows no emotion … the victim is slaughtered and his head cut off … his flesh is eaten
âIf this ad leaves a bad taste in your mouth, please give a thought to what sensitive animals think and feel when they come to the end of their frightening journey and see, hear and smell the slaughterhouse.â
CREDIT Crunch watch - making debt into a tabloid news story…
AMY Winehouse is six times more boring then the credit crunch. It’s in a survey. It’s a fact:
Stephen Waddington, managing director of Rainier PR, said: “At a time when many people are watching the pennies, it’s not surprising that the public have become tired of news about rock stars being odd, and pampered celebrities holidaying in exotic locations. The fact that Amy Winehouse is seen as six times more boring than the economy this summer illustrates this perfectly.”
Have drugs gotten cheaper yet..?
NANCY Pelosi has written a book. You can buy it through Amazon. It’s called Know Your Power…
Pelosi adheres to her illiberal fascism in every aspect of her life. It seems she wields her totalitarian “fairness doctrine” far and wide. Lone Pony is reporting that she is scrubbing Amazon of bad reviews - were there any other kind?
No..!
Nancy Pelosi had over 100 BAD reviews of her failed book disappeared from Amazon’s site yesterday!
Well, Amazon is in the business of selling books. And who buys a book knowing it will be crap? Ahem - I did once buy Learning To Fly by Victoria Beckham. And it was…
INNOCENT smoothies for green smoothies:
Innocent Smoothies tells consumers on its website that “fruit always travels by boat or rail” because these methods use less fossil fuel than air or road transport per kilo of fruit. Customers are also told the drinks are produced in the UK.
However, the Daily Telegraph can reveal that the drinks are blended on the continent before being driven in dozens of tanker lorries hundreds of miles across Europe for bottling in the UK.
To mix the contents just so…
DIAGEO demands that YouTube remove a “fake” Guinness viral advert, in which a girl balances a bottle of the black stuff on her back during a group sex session.
The 60-second viral shows two different male hands taking the drink, which is precariously balanced on the small of the woman’s back, before another woman reaches up and grabs it.
Enjoy the marketing…
THE OFT says:
The OFT has obtained assurances from a Latvian company that it will no longer promote and sell its impotency product, ‘STIFF Strips’, in the UK. S.I.H.N sent mailings to UK consumers under the name of ‘Reprohealth’. The mailings claimed that STIFF Strips were ‘five times more powerful than any other impotency pill, spray or cure’ and offered packs of STIFF Strips for up to ÂŁ45 for 168 strips.
Described as a ‘new discovery’ containing ‘powerful anti-impotency agents’, mailings made claims about the efficacy of the product, guaranteeing its effects within five minutes and including claims that ‘with STIFF Strips you can make love for hours’. The mailings used explicit language to describe the effect of STIFF Strips and testimonials from men who claimed that the product had dramatically improved their sexual performance. The mailings also claimed that the product ‘works on women too’.
Ends…
HEY kids, wanna play a game of green shirts and baddies?
NPower, the electricity people, want you, the Britisher Jungvolk, to inform on your mums and your dads if they disobey the rules on climate change.
Grab a gas mask, a tin hat and come closer. Baroness Young of Old Scone, head of the Environment Agency, says climate change is âWorld War Threeâ. And in zer war you want to be on the side of the good guys, right kidz? We vill take ze moral highground, and victory will be ours.
Attack the non-believer.
JUDE Law advertises a new hair restorer and aftershave by Dior…
“Tastes great” - Old Mr Anorak The Looking Younger
BAKEL Blog gets a call from eBoost’s customer service…
“Hey Roger van Backel [butchering my name with obvious relish], you are a faggot! So listen to this, queer!” [unintelligible background noise and talking, then the name 'Roger' again, then she hangs up]
CAN anyone guess what happens when your anti-global warming film wins a prize?
Adrian McNamara and Lucas Dorrell from Singleton Ogilvy & Mather, Sydney have won a trip to Cannes for creating an integrated campaign for Purina supporting Earth Hour this year.
Their campaign:
Singleton Ogilvy & Mather, Sydney has created a 15 second TV ad supporting Earth Hour, a WWF initiative (created by Leo Burnett, Sydney) that encourages people to turn their lights off for one hour, helping reduce carbon emissions.
Did they save enough to offset the trip? It’s a round trip, right?
MADDIE WATCH - Anorakâs at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
NO word from Robert Murat in todayâs tabloids. Having been awarded a load of money for being libelled, what odds the tabloids are battling to see which of them can get his interview? But with whom do they negotiate?
Back in May 2007, the Expressâs front page asked: âMadeleine: Will the suspect cash in by selling his story?â
In âMaddy suspectâs PR dealâ the paper says âoddballâ Robert Murat was said to have contacted Max Clifford, the ubiquitous PR guru without whom no fag/shag/slag/hag/gag/lag/nag/wag ânâ tell story is complete.
PSSST! Want to know how to save money on your political campaign?
The US Presidential race is an expensive affair: Republican agonist John McCain has total receipts of $100.4 million for the whole campaign, less than half of Barack Obama’s total of $266.6 million since January 2007.
Hillary Clintonâs failed campaign to secure the Democrat Partyâs nomination cost $212 million.
Big money.
But it could have been all decided for less, much less. No, not by a game of Russian Roulette, rather by aping the New Labour project.
The Deal, Stephen Frearsâ âprequel to The Queenâ is having its âworld theatrical premiereâ at an American Cinematheque screening at the Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood on July 23.
LAST one to South Carolina’s a…
A state employee has resigned and officials have disavowed an international advertising campaign that led to calls for an investigation of tourism posters proclaiming âSouth Carolina is so gay.â
Not soooo gay, then..?
CHINABOUNDER, a blogger, has upset the Chinese:
In August 2006, the blog hosting service Blogspot was unblocked in China. A psychology professor named Zhang Jiehai checked it out and found, to his displeasure, that a British English teacher calling himself ‘Chinabounder’ was writing a blog about his sexual exploits with young Chinese women in Shanghai.
A Professor Zhang launched an Internet manhunt for Chinabounder, who soon stopped blogging.
The campaign against the blog was launched on Friday by Zhang Jiehai, professor of psychology in the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences under a post titled The Internet Hunt for an Immoral Foreigner. “I have something to tell Chinese men: please think about how these foreign trash have dallied with your sisters and made fun of your impotence,” he wrote. “This piece of garbage must be found and kicked out of China!!!”
Now this:
