Gordon Brown says bring a brick to party.

From an ebay listing for Brown’s ‘Alternative Edinburgh’, penned by Gordon Brown in the early seventies:

“This book was edited by Gordon Brown when he was a student in the 1970s at Edinburgh University. It is entitled Alternative Edinburgh and was penned at the time when Brown was a socialist student leader - it is full of suggestions of how to live in Edinburgh for next to nothing!…my favourite one is how to turn up at a party without bringing a bottle with you - so what do you do… you bring a carrier bag of empty cans and put two half-bricks in the bottom of it to weight it down“.

Spotter

FIVE people have been arrested in alleged plot to kill Gordon Brown, or..:

The message, written in English, allegedly included a threat to target “all the political leaders, especially Tony Blair and Gordan (sic) Brown”.

A damning indiuctment of our education system, and a pretty shoddy showing for Gordon Brown, who after an entire year in power is known among alleged extremists as “Gordan”. Are all, alleged, jihadis thick?

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EMOTICONS. Those things that show the user to be the kind of person who can quote entire scenes from Monty Pythoin. Ergo: a knob. Here are some new ones - Gordon BRown is very naughty boy:

E-Moon
We all know those cute little computer symbols called ‘emoticons,’
where:

means a smile
and
is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

Well, how about some ‘ARSE-ICONS?’
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular arse

(__!__) a fat arse

(!) a tight arse

(_*_) a sore arse

(_o_) an arse that’s been around

(_x_) kiss my arse

(_X_) leave my arse alone

(_zzz_) a lazy arse

(_E=mc2_) a smart arse

(_£_) Money coming out of his arse

(_?_) Dumb arse

(_GORDON_) pain in the arse

Thanks

THE Mail’s Benedict Brogan reports on Gordon’ BRown’s press confernce with Hamid Karzai: 

“…the visit had a routine flavour for Gordon Brown, livened up only by Hamid Karzai, who was evidently bemused by the way British broadcasters all asked questions about the PM’s troubles without even a mention of Afghanistan or the British effort there. “Cabinet ministers plotting is nothing new. We have that in Afghanistan too. But not my foreign minister.”

Yikes!

Via

EVEYONE wins at the Olympics. Reports the Mirror:

Gordon Brown said yesterday Britain’s Olympic heroes had inspired him to fight on and win the next election.

(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Wesbite)

Is Gordon using his personal trainer to get him fit enough to do away with voting and make it to straight foot race between he and Cameron?

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THERE’S a new poll in the Guardian. The result gives the paper the front-page headline: “Change of leader would not help Labour beat Cameron.”

The statistics never lie – not even when 101% of the population respond…

AS The Croydonian points out: “From the wonderful people who had a fire sale of gold reserves, this:

[Sports minister Gerry] Sutcliffe, in Macao to visit the Team GB preparation camp, said competitors needed to come home with 41 medals and show the British public that the country’s £500 million investment into elite sport was “value for money

A little digging discloses that an Olympic Gold medal weighs around 250 grammes.

He calculates the gold being worth £4,461.82.

A small start, but it’s a start…

Image: Gordon’s smog mask

HAVE you seen the video footage of Gordon Brown on the spanking new Downing Street website?

The site will feature exclusive video coverage of the prime minister’s speechezzzzzzz, press conferencezzzzzz, media appearancezzzzzzzzz and a newzzzzzzzz of Gordon’s thoughtzzzz and choices of jacketzzz and Comfi-slacks.

It’s called No.10 TV. And Anorak went to pay it a visit. Knock. Knock.

A new era in political communication is born as Uncle Go’ welcomes you to Downing Street’s all new television channel Number10TV, which will connect your front room directly to the very heart of power. Watch PM Brown as he dithers over the most pressing issues of the day!

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NEWS in the Sun that Gordon Brown is giving No.10 Downing Street “a makeover”.

He’s “ordered in the builders” as “part of massive relaunch of the Premiership”.

Anorak feels the time is right for a revamp. With the economy in a mess, if Brown can do up No. 10 and attract the right hedge fund manager, Russian oligarch, Saudi Prince or Blair scion, he can sell it for a pretty penny and move on.

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DAVID Miliband would be Labour Leader.  David Miliband would be leader of the Opposition (surely Prime Minister? -Ed)

David Miliband is for Change, just like Barack Obama. You don’t suppose…

“Labour facing civil war”, according to the Daily Mail.

“Brown furious over Miliband treachery”, says the Daily Express. “Gordon Brown was ‘incandescent’ with rage over a challenge to his authority…” Voice call the foreign secretary “condescending”, “patronising” and “crappy”.

“Brains versus Brown” says the Sun.

The Telegraph’s Ivan Lewis says “timidity and incremental change will not deal with the way people feel right now”.

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COMPARTING people to Hitler is… well, fun (NSFW):

GORDON Brown? He’s at the seaside. Where isn’t he?

David Miliband’s article in the Guardian is a van Gogh. Vincent painted a boot, a bed or a chair as a portrait of somebody who wasn’t there. The article is a portrait of Gordon Brown, who also isn’t there.

Going… going…

Source

SARAH Brown, wife to Prime Minister Gordon Brown (correct at time of writing) is on the Times’s front page. Why?

The paper’s Janice Turner explains:

We are at Good Housekeeping magazine’s celebrity accessories swap, held at the North London home of Kathy Lette, the punning Aussie author.

Also there are: Dannii Minogue, Fay Weldon, Ruby Wax, Lynda La Plante - Kathy Lette’s eclectic gang of gal pals.”

I ask Kathy Lette what she plans to swap and, snapping into character, she says: “My husband.” She’d like to trade the QC Geoffrey Robertson for Penny Smith’s bloke but actually she is donating a strange Moschino bag shaped like a milk carton.

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NEW Labour is the shooting party:

“SNP stuns Labour in Glasgow East”

Having stunned them, could it please use live ammo for the mercy shot?

Run, Gordon, run…

OBAMANIA Watch - Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news

Barack Obama is in the UK for the final leg of his world your. He’s meeting Tony Blair. Let us pray:

THE SUN: “Barack Obarmy”

HUNDREDS of cops were standing by today to keep crowds at bay as the Barack Obama roadshow hit London.

Obama’s having breakfast with Tony Blair.

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IF you had to glue yourself to anyone, would you glue yourself to Gordon Brown?

A campaigner against Heathrow Airport’s third runway has attempted to glue himself to Gordon Brown at a Downing Street reception.

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GORDON BROWN in Iraq - caption contest:

THE Sun and Star both feature the same picture of a blonde child holding up a huge meat cleaver.

Is it Gordon Ramsay’s daughter staring in her new yoof cookery show? Not yet.

This is Jenni Woodcock, 17 (Star), who managed to go into a shop and buy a kitchen utensil.

It is illegal for under-18s to buy knives, and the Sun, which – get this – bills Woodcock at 16 (did she show her ID to the papers), is outraged that a minor should get one.

It’s just awful.

Anorak wonders how long it is before knives are banned from appearing on TV and other media lest under-18s get the wrong idea.

Look out for Gordon Brown telling us that from now in we should lick our plates clean…

Note: TV’s Naomi Cleaver is to hereon known as Naomi Chop-Stick

PSSST! Want to know how to save money on your political campaign?

The US Presidential race is an expensive affair: Republican agonist John McCain has total receipts of $100.4 million for the whole campaign, less than half of Barack Obama’s total of $266.6 million since January 2007.

Hillary Clinton’s failed campaign to secure the Democrat Party’s nomination cost $212 million.

Big money.

But it could have been all decided for less, much less. No, not by a game of Russian Roulette, rather by aping the New Labour project.

The Deal, Stephen Frears’ “prequel to The Queen” is having its “world theatrical premiere” at an American Cinematheque screening at the Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood on July 23.

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CAN Gordon Brown slash knife crime?

Carrying a knife is �totally unacceptable� says Brown on the Sun’s cover.

Indeed, when dining with the world�s great and good, knives are supplied, so too spoons, forks and chopsticks (when in Rome, and all that).

Says Gordon: �I recall being knifed at an Islington eatery many moons ago when��

DOES Gordon Brown tell the whole truth and nothing but? Fraser Nelson looks at the details…

1.��We now have the second biggest defence budget in the world�. This dodgy figure is cooked up by looking at military spending in nominal terms � rather than adjusting for purchasing power parity (PPP). If you spend �1 million it will obviously go further in China than Britain - which is why analysts routinely use PPP adjustments for international comparisons. Brown takes the raw data from the Stockholm Peace Institute (find it here, pdf). Unadjusted for PPP (ie, the dodgy raw data Brown uses) than America is first ($547bn) then Britain ($59.7bn), China ($58.3bn), France ($53.6bn) and Japan ($43.6bn). But adjust for PPP and the real figure has Britain fifth. And by the way, Brown inserted �as a share of GDP� afterwards. He�d forgotten his own scam. If you take it as a share of GDP then Britain at 2.6% is fifth behind the India (2.7%), Russia (3.6%), the US (4.0%) and the Saudis (8.5%).

We’re number 24…