IRAN has launched its first domestically-manufactured satellite into orbit.

An Iranian news network, IRINN, showed footage of what it said was a communications satellite named Safir-e Omid (Hope Envoy) being launched.

The pictures were accompanied by patriotic songs, music and a Catherine Wheel as big as your hand…

IRAN has fired invisible missiles!

Iran has pictures of missile that can scare the crap out of Israel!

Iran has one missile that can be seen from up to 360 different angles - including a view from Tel Aviv!!

Iran’s missile could travel 2,000 miles if it is folded up and posted to Tel Aviv with the correct stamps!

Iran can and will use pictures of old missile tests if provoked!

That is all…

IRAN fires missiles that could land on Israel and kill lots of Jews, Muslims, backpackers, surfers and Arabs. (Iranians are not Arabs.)

The head of the Iranian Air Force, Hossein Salami, said, “We are ready to defend the integrity of the Iranian nation.” Iran has already promised to take out Tel Aviv if attacked.

Mr Salami. Should we be afraid?

AFTER yesterday’s shots of Mrs Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at large, Anorak has obtained evidence of exclusive rumours that the Iranian president has been trawling the web for stand ins and future First Ladies.

Game: Match the name to the picture are win a lifgetime supply of uranium:

Noel Edmonds, Cherie Blair, Anthea Turner, Cristiano Ronaldo, Vanessa Feltz, Queen Noor of Jordan, Victoria Beckham, Darth Vader, Naomi Campbell, Jerry Seinfeld, Girls Aloud, Rowan Williams…

All nuclear bombs are final…

DO we need to translate? She’s like well fit, innit?

İran Cumhurbaşkanı Mahmud Ahmedinejad’ı tanımayan yok. Ancak eşiyle ilk defa görüntülendi.

Bu ender pozu 51 yaşındaki Mahmud Ahmedinejad Tahran’da bir konferans sırasında verdi. Ancak yine de Ahmedinejad’ın eşini tanımak çok zor. Kara çarşaf içinde olan İran First Ladysi siyah bir gözlük takmış.

Ancak Ahmedinejad’ın eşinin kaç yaşında olduğu ve isminin ne olduğu da kamuoyu tarafından bilinmiyor. Bayan Ahmedinejad’ın kocası gibi mühendislik eğitimi aldığı tahmin ediliyor.

If you can translate, please do…

Source

THEY want me. They really want me: 

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Thursday accused the United States of plotting to kidnap and assassinate him during a visit this year to Iraq, state media reported.

The hardline president told a meeting of clerics in the central city of Qom that Iran’s “enemies” planned to kill him when he went to Baghdad in March, according to the president’s Web site. Iranian leaders usually use the term “enemies” to refer to Western nations and the United States in particular.

The report on the presidential Web site did not specify the United States as the source of the plot. But state television reported that Ahmadinejad had “unveiled a shocking story”—that “Americans had intended to kidnap him during his trip to Iraq.”

Ahmadinejad said the plot was never carried out because of “intentional” last-minute changes in his schedule during the visit, the Web site said. He said the conspirators learned about the changes too late, when he had departed Iraq.

Exclusive: They did kidnap him and replaced him with a small monkey called Steve… Shhhh…

Source

SAYS the Mirror: “Cabinet minister Douglas Alexander will snub Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe at an international summit on food shortages.”

Good of the Mirror to announce this snubbing lest the Zimbabwean despot not realise that it’s happening.

And if that’s not enough to learn him, the Sun says Britain may strip Mugabe of his honorary knighthood. Mugabe is no match for British spite (surely, might?).

Mr. Mugabe is in Rome, at the invitation of the United Nations Food and Agricultural Organization, which is holding a conference to discuss the international food crisis.

Also in town is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who’s taken along the Minister of Agriculture Jihad Mohammad-Reza Eskandari.

(more…)

WORLD’S No.1 delusional maniac: “Everybody has understood that Iran is the number one power in the world,” Ahmadinejad said in a speech to families who lost loved ones in the 1980-1988 Iran-Iraq war.

“Today the name of Iran means a firm punch in the teeth of the powerful and it puts them in their place,” he added in the address broadcast live on state television.”

Source 

IRANIAN President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says:

“The world powers established this filthy bacteria, the Zionist regime, which is lashing out at the nations in the region like a wild beast…”

Poldraw

“TO read or to write, that is the question!‎” observes Mahmoud Ahmadinjad on his blog.

“Since my last post on the blog, a few months have passed. But this doesn’t ‎mean that I have not been keeping my promise of spending fifteen minutes per week ‎on it.”

To read or to write? Can you read before you write? And how can you write if you have not read?

“As a matter of fact, I have spent more than the allocated time on the blog. The ‎magnitude of the reception and acclamation from the viewers was beyond ‎expectations. So I had to decide how to spend the limited time that I have allocated ‎for the blog; should I write new notes or respect those viewers who kindly and ‎generously have shared their thoughts and opinions with me and sent messages and read ‎their numerous received messages. ”

Lap them up, we say. Or rather: “Sir, Lap them up…”

Pic: Poldraw 

“IS American right to demonise President Ahmadinejad of Iran?”

This is the Independent’s “big question”.

Ahmadinejad is billed as “controversial leader”. He says things like “In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have it.”

The easy response would be “Your boyfriend did”. But that would be childish, no better then calling him names, such as “Evil” and “Madman Iran” (New York tabloids).

So should Ahmadinejad be monstered? The Times doesn’t say, it’s too busy watching Foreign Secretary David Miliband at Labour party conference and employing the headline “Aaaargh! It’s Frankenstein’s minister…”

Do the Iranian newspapers speak of Ahmadinejad in the same open fashion? As the man told us, his is free society, the Iranian peoples “joyous”. He can take a joke.

But to the Indy’s question. Is the US right. It says it is mistaken in conferring upon Ahmadinejad a prominence that is not his due. He is not the top nutter in Iran. Ayatollah Ali Khamenei “calls the shots and dictates nuclear policy”. He’s the joyous one who told us: “The only way to confront the Zionist enemy is the continuation and fortification of resistance and Jihad.”

The Indy says the other mistake is that scaremongering enables Ahmadinejad to “portray nuclear power as a priority and a matter of national pride”.

What odds a nuclear mushroom cloud appearing on the Iranian flag, in similar fashion to how it’s allies at Hezbollah show a garish green Kalashnikov on theirs. (Flags, like weaponry, must move with the times.)

And, then, personal insults, as the Indy, says are never edifying. Ahmadinejad might be a jumped up, onanistic-eyed gibbon with chronic short-man syndrome but it would be beneath us to say so.

So he should not be demonised by the Americans. Ahmadinejad should be allowed to speak freely and openly. As his comments on homosexuality show, the more he speaks, the scarier he looks…

Pic: Cox & Forkum 

DOES Mahmoud Ahmadinejad support a football team? It’s just that if he wants to appear likeable, he should get one. (Pic: Poldraw)

He could have joined Gordon Brown and said something about Jose Mourinho’s departure for Chelsea. They could have held hands, by “mutual consent”.

But Ahmadinejad failed. “The Evil has landed,” says The Daily News as Ahmadinejad arrives in New York. “Madman Iran Perez,” says the New York Post.

“People in Iran are very joyous, happy people, they’ve very free in expressing what they think,” Ahmadinejad tells the Guardian. Ahmadinejad says Iranian women are “the freest in the world”. The Guardian hears “laughter”. Perhaps there are female Iranian journalists in the press pack.

Land Of The Free

But should Ahmadinejad be anywhere but in the UN compound? “It’s a free country,” says Dana Perino, White House spokesman, of Ahmadinejad’s appearance at Columbia University. “We wish the same were true in Iran.”

But not that free. Ahmadinejad has been to the US twice before as Iran’s President. Only this time he wants to make friends. He wants to visit Ground Zero. But he isn’t allowed to.

The US is worried about what Ahmadinejad might do at the site of the twin towers? But what can he do but try to look caring and appeal to the US and the sure-to-be watching world that invading Iran would mean starting a fight with a little man who just wants to be loved. The man of peace.

Home Of The Brave

Wasn’t America once about optimism? Isn’t the hope that Ahmadinejad sees where the twin towers once stood, takes in the vibrant New York City and changes his ways? Or is fear the thing in America?

Here’s Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney showing that he can be toughest on Ahmadinejad by launching a radio ad in early primary states that repeats a call he made last week for the world body to indict the Iranian leader under the Genocide Convention.

Here’s the president of Columbia University, Lee Bollinger, introducing the President of Iran as a “petty, cruel dictator”. Says he: “When you come to a place like this, this makes you quite simply ridiculous. You are either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated.”

Here’s Andrew Martin, senior at Columbia. He wasn’t to hear Ahmadinejad. He, too, wants to hear the Iranian president for himself: “I’d like to ask him about homosexuality in Iran; whether he believes what he believes about it and whether he believes it should be debated freely in his country.”

He asks his question. Says Ahmadinejad: “In Iran we don’t have homosexuality like in your country.”

And there is more laughter…