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Police Nab Nobby Beach Man With Penis In Pasta Jar
A man caught near Nobbys Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20 kmh car chase
GM Ford And Crysler Keep The American Dream Burning
Greenpeace shares in the GM dream of jets and burning fuel all round
Baseball For Jesus And Jews In Hell
That's something we say around the house frequently. "We're one day closer to Heaven"
Prince Edward Finds Work On Queen’s New Jet
ONE day on from the Daily Star’s shocker:
“The Queen is skint and will run out of cash in just three years time..The news follows Playboy boss Hugh Hefner laying off his bunnies”
And the Sun leads with:
“AIR FORCE ONE – Queen to buy £7milion private jet - Her Majesty, who currently shares the use of VIP flights with Government ministers and military chiefs, has taken a close personal interest in the new jet’s design.”
Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Barbie’s Doll: Helen Mirren Is The Cocaine Queen
HOW does HRH Helen Mirren keep her figure?
Says Helen Mirren in GQ:
“I loved coke. I never did a lot, just a bit at parties.”
Of course, cocaine does not always get you the part, nor does it always make your breasts grow, your hips stay slim-yet-shapely and your hair turn blonde.
But might it help?
Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Magazines, Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Queen Has Her Face In A Cow’s Arse
HER MAJESTY:
“As a great admirer of the Royal Family, I was disgusted to see ,that two of the animals in the special Post Office issue of stamps showing rare breeds of cattle had their hindquarters to the Queen’s face. Surely face to face would have been more dignified“. (Letter in Daily Express)
Here are what I believe are the offending cows, from June ‘84:
The other one is here…
Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Tabloids, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
New Zealand Hail The Great Queen Sheep
IN NEW Zealand:
New Zealand shopkeepers are being fleeced by fake 100 dollar notes featuring a sheep wearing a tiara in the place where Queen Elizabeth’s portrait should be.
Police said the notes, which all bear the same serial number, were crude forgeries but some merchants in Rodney, near Auckland, where they were circulating, were taken in, the Herald on Sunday reported.
Forgeries? Who’s to say how Her Majesty the Queen appears to Kiwi eyes? Anorak has hypnotised the barstaff at the Fox But No Hounds Lap Dance Grille and notes that the former colonials see Her Majesty thus:
Australians - A small bearded German man who looks best in ornamental gardens
South Africans - A figure of all the pastels, like an Opal fruit with a dash of sour lemon
Americans - Huge black ears atop a round face with a button nose and squeaky voice
Zimbabweans - Edible
More as and when we can get the staff
Posted: 7th, July 2008 | In: Police Log, Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Queen Gets Into Bed With Ronald McDonald
NEWS in the Sun that Her Majesty the Queen has been mingling with a clown-like ginger-haired person in Slough.
No, not Sarah Ferguson, who’s in Hull.
In “BURGER QUEEN – She owns McDonald’s”, Sun readers are invited to get over the paper calling the head of state “She” and focus on the fact that the Queen has her own drive-through eatery.
Posted: 28th, June 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Dancing Queen: Elizabeth’s Waterloo
TABLOID story of the day: “ The Queen dances to Abba’s Dancing Queen, says Chris Evans”.
The Mirror reports that The BBC radio DJ hears the Queen opine:
“I always try to dance when this song comes on because I am the Queen and I like to dance.”
God save our thoroughly modern Lizzy…
Posted: 19th, June 2008 | In: Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Carla Bruni Gives Queen And Prince Philip Four Crowns
CARLA Bruni, wife to French President Nicolas Sarkozy, La Belle France’s answer to Lempit Opik and his Cheeky Girl, is in conversation with Paris Match magazine.
The Mail listens in and hears Carla mention her trip to Britain.
Says she: “It was like arriving on another planet. Never in my life did I think I would meet the Queen of England.”
And what of that meeting in the Windsors’ rarefied air? She recalls how at Windsor Castle, Her Majesty showed Carla around and opened a door with a cheery: “Here’s your bathroom.”
Posted: 8th, May 2008 | In: Magazines, Politicians, Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Scaling The Heights: When Carla Bruni And Prince Philip’s Eyes Met
NICOLAS Sarkozy is sharing the platform (heels) with Her Majesty, Prince Philip and Carla Bruni.
La Bruni is not with Phil but the Guardian’s front-page picture of her looking at the Queen’s consort, a smile playing across her lips, suggests she longs to be. While Philip smiles broadly, Carla’s eyes sparkle. Sarkozy is looking into the camera, a man unnerved.
The Telegraph’s snips Sarkozy away and features only Phil’s noble profile and Bruni’s gaze. “Britain is enchanted by Madame Sarkozy,” says the Express on its cover. And Madame Sarkozy is enchanted by a Briton.
On the Times’ cover, Bruni is with Her Majesty, who is talking and pointing something out. But Carla has only eyes for Liz, her head a whirl of what hold this woman has over Philip, and how it can be slackened.
As the paper’s headline says: “When the Queen met Madame le President”. It’s a Lloyd-George-knew-my-father moment.
Posted: 27th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Princess Diana Inquest, Queen Elizabeth and Phil, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
