AMERICAN Idol, American TV’s search for a Gareth Gates, has a new winner.

As the National Enquirer reports, his name is David Cook. He’s about as memorable as that last breath you took. And it would seem that America has its man.

While Simon Cowell hooks up Gates and Cook into a the ultimate reality show double act, the Enquirer’s Mike Walker watches the losers trundle into post-performance therapy.

(more…)

WHEN Carrie Underwood was voted American Idol version 2391b a world of opportunity opened up for her.

Underwood has been voted “Smile of the Year” by one of America’s top half dozen leading dentistry magazines.

She has arrived.

Carrie says “Fnph gnuf lopikishy”, and the dentist with his forefinger and thumb in her mouth blushes.

He then asks her where she’s off to on holiday, tells her he feeds his tropical fish on his homemade fish food recipe, and that he hopes in 20 years time his patients will still be reading about Carrie’s wonderful, if slightly dog-eared, smile…

Spotter 

AMERICAN Idol requires the judges to pass judgement when every contestant has sung one song.

Paula Abdul listens to agonist Jason Castro. He sings one song:

“Oh gosh, we’ve never had to write these things down … fast enough,” says Abdul. “Jason, first song, I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear, um….

“…The second song, I felt like your usual charm wasn’t - it was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty.”

Indeed.

(more…)

GORDON Brown is on American Idol. Really…

Really…

Really…
(more…)

BIG–HEARTED Simon Cowell has offered Britney Spears a shot at redemption.

As the Star reports (“SIMON BIDS TO SAVE BRITNEY”), the man with teeth whiter than Mel Gibson’s tan line says Britney can appear on his hit TV show American Idol.
“Sure,” says Cowell, “she can come on American Idol – as a contestant.

We at Anorak embrace the offer. Indeed, we would like the proposal to go further and for the entertainment industry to take a leaf from El Al’s book.

Granted, the Israeli airline is more interested in spotting potential terrorists intent on blowing up one of its planes than finding tomorrow’s Gareth Gates, but the airline operates a policy whereby security staff are tapped on the shoulder and invited to board a flight.
The judges of who is fit and proper to fly are, with no prior warning, placed among the riffraff. This keeps them vigilant.

(In an interesting aside, the Star reports that Muhammed Abdel-Al, leader of Palestinian terror group, the Popular Resistance Committees, says “If I meet those whores I will have the honour to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they keep spreading satanic culture against Islam.” Everyone’s a critic.)
And so to American Idol and all manner of reality TV talent shows. The established acts that pass judgement on the unsung talent, such as Paula Abdul (American Idol) and Danni Minogue (X Factor), are invited at random to see if they can cut it.
At a moment’s notice they are handed a song sheet and invited to sing for their careers.
Can Britney do Britney better than one of her fans?

Or will she crash and burn..?

AMERICAN Idol is over for another year. The tears, the joy, the talent and the, er, did we mention the tears?

But there is talk of a fix. Tabloid Baby investigates:

JORDIN Sparks is the new American Idol.

After a bloated two-hour show whose highlights included a performance by an 80-year-old man, a human beatbox duet, the indelible memory of Ruben Studdard singing “Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds”, and the lower half of Kelly Clarkson’s body, the questions this morning are whether Jordin, a 17-year-old Christian and anti-abortion crusader, will use her new role to spread her controversial agenda– and whether Idol producers played a little in-joke by having Jordin sing background on the Beatles’ “She’s Leaving Home”– a song about a girl sneaking out of the house to have an abortion.

And there will be debate today about whether Jordin’s victory was in the cards from the beginning, even before judge Randy Jackson predicted that the winner would have “curly hair.” We direct you to an article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer that followed the Seattle audition episode– Jordin’s first appearance on Idol:

Seattle Post Intelligencer
January 19, 2007
On TV: Seattle’s ‘Idol’ auditions: Hurt so good
By MELANIE McFARLAND
P-I TELEVISION CRITIC

…”Idol,” in turn, gave us a young, bright, charismatic, pretty contestant who looks so much like the show’s idea of the total package that she could be a ringer….

…One shining star stood out: 16-year-old Jordin Sparks from Glendale, Ariz. She’s beautiful, has a smile that can light up L.A., and tore apart Celine Dion’s “Because You Love Me.”

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

Seeing her is supposed to drive home the reason we keep running back to “Idol.” Young, ambitious and undiscovered, she embodies the dream of “Idol,” the idea that someone with small but bright embers of talent can, within the space of a few months, shoot from obscurity to superstardom.

Except that’s not exactly the case with this young woman.

Out of nowhere, Abdul says she recognizes Sparks’ name– and Sparks reveals she is the daughter of former New York Giants cornerback Phillippi Sparks. What a coinky-dink!

And that’s not all! Jordin Sparks has an exhaustive Wikipedia page, where you can find out interesting facts such as: She was the Coca-Cola Rising Star in 2002. Coca-Cola, of course, being “Idol’s” major sponsor. She also appeared in “America’s Most Talented Kids” in 2004, toured with Michael W. Smith and sang in Alice Cooper’s Christmas show. Winning “Arizona Idol” netted her a Ford Fusion and a trip to Seattle. Wonder if she had to wait in line?

Fix?

AMERICAN Idol enters the final gasps and Tabloid Baby senses scandal, controversy and other things that might just make the show more intersting than the usual karaoke on the end of the pier. Contestant Jordin Sparks met Simon Cowell before the show. Is it all a fix?

As TB writes, “Now that Jordin Sparks has moved into the forefront of the American Idol race, the backlash is underway, with conspiracy theories in full swing– and a political hot potato that’s jumped from the back burner to center stage.

We told you about the initial controversy over Jordin’s entry into this season’s contest (aided by Idol sponsor Coca Cola), and suspicion that her victory has been in the cards all along. Now, photos showing Jordin with Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson, supposedly taken three years ago, have led speculation that the judges may have pretended not to know her when she auditioned– and that she’s indeed been groomed for Idoldom in some secret lab.

And now add the Christian Right to mix!

Jordin’s never been shy about her Christian faith. She recorded a CD with “Jesus music” pioneer Matthew Ward, toured with Christian singer Michael W. Smith, placed second in 2004 at the Gospel Music Association’s Music in the Rockies national competition for aspiring Contemporary Christian Music artists (the same one that Chris Sligh competed in two years earlier). And the GMA says it recognizes Jordin and fellow finalist Melinda Doolittle as Christian artists who are “keeping the faith.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with a big organized Christian Idol voting bloc (remember those phone centers in India?), but the controversy gets down to politics, in the form of abortion.

Though she’s only seventeen and probably won’t have to think seriously about the issue until she goes on the Idol tour and finds out she’s been knocked up by Sanjaya, Jordan is well-known in her home state of Arizona and among the Christian crowd as a “pro-life”– or anti-abortion– crusader. And until recently, she apparently had this picture on her MySpace page:

Photos of Jordin at anti-abortion events and stories about her activism have been on line for months, but only reaching mainstream attention now that she has the best chance of taking the American Idol title.

The stir that’s brewing is similar to last year’s storm over contestant Mandisa and her connection to the “ex-gay” movement. And with some expressing concern that Jordin will use her American Idol platform to preach against abortion, this sort of fight is one that will bring out votes on both sides.

SANJAYA Malakar, the American Idol reject with 12 minutes of fame still to go, has been spotted at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner in Washington.

As TMZ reports, Malakar tells Ellen DeGeneres on her TV show, he doesn’t believe Howard Stern’s fans and other “haters” voted enough “to make a dent in the system”.

It’s hard not to admire the young lad’s confident in his ability. If Ignorance is bliss Sanjaya is in a state of near-orgasmic ecstasy.

But he is demand. Britney Spears wants him.

The National Ledger quotes a source telling Star magazine: “Britney started watching American Idol when she was in rehab. She became a huge Sanjaya fan and thinks the two of them can make beautiful music together.”

And there goes Sanjaya to the White House Correspondents’ dinner. He’s the guest of People magazine.

And Tabloid Baby looks on as Sanjaya sits down at the bun fight with Larry King and two other notables. As TB says: “Find three things that upstaged Larry King at tonight’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner in Washington.”

Makes you wonder what Sanjaya could do with Britney…

ALAS, poor Sanjaya Malakar, I knew him. We all did who watched American Idol.

Tabloid Baby predicted the whispering wonder would be sent home from American Idol the week before the Idol Gives Back charity event (to clear the stage for a new wave of publicity).

But Sanjaya Malakar’s elimination was still a shock. After Antonella Barba and Sanjaya, the current cast is short on interest.

But might it be that his ejection was triggered by external forces? Tabloid Baby wonders if the Virginia Tech incident had at least something to do with his going.

As TB writes: “Chris Richardson’s position in the top three signaled that he surely won sympathy votes and saved himself with his words of encouragement to the survivors. And Simon Cowell’s ‘enough is enough - it’s not funny any more’ attitude toward Sanjaya on Tuesday night carried more weight because of the pall the tragedy had cast over the show.”

“My hearts and prayers go out to Virginia Tech. I have a lot of friends over there. … Be strong,” Richardson of Chesapeake, Virginia, said onstage after his song.

Cameras panned to Simon Cowell who rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows.

But this had nothing to do with Richardson’s comments. Really. Says Cowell: “I didn’t hear what Chris was saying. I may not be the nicest person in the world, but I would never, ever, ever disrespect those families or those victims. And I felt it was important to set the record straight.” Cowell said his roll was founded in Richardson’s claim that he sang “nasally” on purpose.

So Cowell’s frustration is explained.

But over in the LA Times, there is talk of missed opportunity. This was Country Music night on Idol. The Virginia Shootings were fresh in the mind.

As the paper’s Randy Lewis writes: “Can you imagine the impact of LaKisha Jones singing Willie Nelson’s ‘Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain’? ‘Someday when we meet up yonder/We’ll stroll hand in hand again/And in a land that knows no parting/Blue eyes crying in the rain.’

“Or Jordin Sparks singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ (like Dolly Parton’s original, please; not the overwrought mess Whitney Houston made of it)? Or Melinda Doolittle putting those dusky tones of hers to Ralph Stanley’s haunting ‘O Death’?

And what did we get? Richardson’s nasally invocation of Rascal Flatts’ insipid ‘Mayberry’. And Sanjaya Malakar’s mushy prance through Bonnie Raitt’s ‘Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About’.”

Tug the heartstrings and woo the crowd. Is the show really that cynical?

Or did Sanjaya lose because he was the worst singer…?

WHILE the world gawps at American Idol favourite Sanjaya Malakar and rages against Don Imus, others are being overlooked.

Anorak has wondered what it is about whispering Sanjaya that makes him a hit? He can’t sing very well. He can’t dance very well. He gets by on teeth (his) and tits (his sister’s -Shyamali Malakar).

Sanjaya is the unthreatening foreigner in the midst of madness. If he’s not Hrundi Bakshi from the Party (“Birdie Num Nums”), he’s Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

And now other Indians are suffering.

Tabloid Baby’s pal Surya “Chili” Yalamanchili was fired by Donald Trump in Episode 8 of The Apprentice. When TB last checked in with the pride of Cincinnati, Surya told TB he wasn’t following Idol.

But now, he’s let us know that Idol is following him.

As Surya says:

“For the past 2 weeks, a very interesting phenomenon has occurred. And by “interesting,” I actually mean “terrible annoying.” When strangers come up to me these days they call me “Sanjaya.”
…If you’ve seen the show you’d know that I look absolutely nothing like him, and you know, there’s the fact that I’m not… 16 years old. But anyway, if they don’t call me “Sanjaya”, the second most common is a “Surya”-”Sanjaya” mix.

Sanurya. Surjaya. Whatever. And yes, I’m being totally serious…

Most distressing. The brilliant Don Imus recently ran into a little bit of trouble by calling some lovely ladies from my alma mater, Rutgers, a few poorly chosen names. I find it hard to believe that other people, likely far more intelligent that Don Imus, can’t seem to tell apart two very different looking Indian-Americans who were on TV.

Well, I guess they can tell us apart, they just can’t remember our names. Or rather, they can remember his name, but not my name.”

But that’s enough from Surjaya…Sanurya…or Surya F*ckawallah Poppadom Num Nums as he would doubtless be called on British telly…

OVER on American Idol Sanjaya Malakar continues his impression of Manuel does Motown.

But something is changing within the whispering wonder.

As Tabloid Baby writes, Sanjaya’s revelatory performance of Besame Mucho revealed much more.

Overlooking the hairstyling - it “has crept down to cover his upper lip and chin” - we spot “Sanjaya’s friends”.

Featuring what TB calls “two of reality television’s most anarchic figures”.

Watch the video and see Tom Lowe, the controversial British Idol contestant, with “BJ” Averell, one of the Hippies who won the ninth Amazing Race, acting as if they were under the influence of something other than Sanjaya.

Says TB: “Lowe caused a mini-stir this season after he showed up at the Seattle auditions (where Sanjaya and his sister went through) and was soon outed as a former member of a boyband that had been under contract to Simon Cowell’s label. Lowe was featured in an extended segment that was shown only in the UK Idol feed, leading to speculation that he was a ringer inserted into the mix to boost ratings there.”

So what do they see in Sanjaya? A riddle wrapped up in an enigma wrapped in some hair and whispering, always whispering…

IS SANJAYA Malaka, American Idol’s song whisperer, is at the centre of a plot.

As the Enquirer asks: “Is Simon behind a conspiracy to keep the clownish contestant on the show.”

Sanjaya’s clown is no Marcel Marceau – if only. Nor is he a hooting Harpo Marx. Sanjaya’s clown has a voice. If you listen hard and turn up the volume on your TV set, you can almost make out Sanjaya singing.

Many believe the noise is good. Some equate the listening experience to being tossed in a windowless cell and forced to drink a pint of President Ahmadinejad’s urine.

But all know for a fact is that Sanjaya is good for American Idol’s ratings. And that is what the show is all about.

Says a source: “The public is bored. FOX network executives are pressuring the producers to do something more exciting. So they are trying to get Sanjaya to do crazy things.”

To date these crazy things have centred on Sanjaya putting his long hair up or down, sometimes at the same time.

It is a simple trick that is working well. The show is attracting a huge audience and being talked about.

But it cannot last.

Sanjaya is American Idol’s Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards, the enthusiastic amateur flailing in a sea of talent. It is Sanjaya’s essential lack of talent that makes him attractive. The problem for Sanjaya, like Eddie, will come when he is made to perform on his own and the audience realises that he really is rubbish. And they can do rubbish as well as the next man.

Sanjaya needs context. And his peers are fast disappearing as each week another singer – miles better than Sanjaya - is voted off the show.

At the end Sanjaya will be the No.1, standing at the top of a long ski jump to oblivion…

ARE India and Indians responsible for the success of Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? There are many questions on the matter of Sanjaya.

Is Sanjaya worthy of comment primarily because he is of Indian extraction? Is he the victim of Celebrity Big Brother-style bigotry? Is he Shilpa Shetty with bad hair?

Sanjaya is the funny Indian. He’s Peter Sellers in The Party, the bit-part player who by quirks of fate and luck has wound up surrounded by the star talent.

Any moment Simon Cowell is going to ask him to sing the Birdie Song and say “Birdie Num Num”.

Sanjaya is the unthreatening foreigner in the midst of madness. He’s not Hrundi Bakshi, he’s ruddy Manuel from Fawlty Towers. That thing on Sanjaya’s head? No, not his hair. It’s a Siberian hamster. Not a rat. A hamster. I tell you, Mr Fawlty, is a hamster.

Whatever the reason, Sanjaya is popular. Hey, he might even be a decent singer, at least as good as his agonists.

Tabloid Baby notes an Associated Press story claiming that support from India has nothing to do with Sanjaya Malakar’s success on American Idol.

The article also rubbishes the Indian phone centre theories with “most workers have calls automatically dialled for them by computers. They couldn’t even call next door if they wanted to.”

But Indian blogsites, including India Uncut, whose founder is quoted in the article calling Sanjaya “an object of ridicule” in India, show that interest is high.

And for the first time, the popular Uber Desi website, whose postings helped launch the call centre theories, is suggesting that racism may be at the root of the anti-Sanjaya movement:

“…Is it really Sanjaya’s singing why so many folks in America hate him or is it the colour of the skin that is making them uncomfortable and hence the hatred?”

And there’s another reason why Sanjaya’s story is reverberating through India and the Desi community around the world, writes TB: his rise on Idol is drawing many comparisons to a contestant on the first season of Indian Idol.

As TB recalls, two years ago, an impoverished Punjabi housepainter named Ravi Ravinder became the public’s favourite after he sang “Khuda bhi aasman se jab zamin pe dekhta hoga.”

Because Ravi lacked any formal training, the judges became more frustrated as “talented” singers were voted off and he stayed in. Judge Anu Malik hated Ravi more than Simon Cowell hates Sanjaya– and spoke these words long before Randy Jackson threw up his arms: “I have nothing to say to you because it seems our words carry no weight and the people of India seem to love you.”

Said another judge: “I hope the people of India realize that they have to vote for someone who will represent the country. It’s high time we started acting in a mature manner instead of being emotional fools.”

Ravi became the most talked-about contestant on the show. Each week he survived, there were more conspiracy theories about voting irregularities and lost phone calls. And all the controversy and fuming judges only translated into more votes.

He made it to the Top 5. When he was finally voted off, some charged that the vote was fixed against him!. After Idol, Ravi was cleaned up and became a bigger star than ever. He released an album, accompanied by a music video shot in Barcelona and starring a former Miss Norway and is one of the busiest Indian Idol performers.

Birdi Num Nums.

Anorak And Tabloid Baby

AMERICAN IDOL’S song whisperer Sanjaya Malakar turns in another memorable, winning performance.

And audience member holds aloft a sign that reads “Sanjaya is my Papaya”.

And one of the show’s executive producers says Tabloid Baby was correct in reporting that Howard Stern listeners have nothing to do with Sanjaya’s success in the competition.

As TB reports, Ken Warwick says that even if all Stern’s listeners voted they wouldn’t make up the difference that Sanjaya has over the contestants below him - or above him - in the weekly phone-in votes.

“There is very little hype anybody can do to affect the vast numbers of votes we get,” he says.

Warwick also tells the New York Daily News that American Idol’s technical staff are able to trace each of the 40 million calls the show receives each week. This means they can stop electronic voting. And unlike over here in the UK, there have been no problems.

Stern has reportedly bragged that he and a website that urge people to vote for the worst contestants have kept Sanjaya in the running. He plans to ruin Idol’s credibility. Once famous, Stern now appears on a radio station so remote you need a team of huskies to find it.

So Stern seeks to make a name for himself off the back of a teenage singer who possesses all the stagecraft of processed cheese and less of the charisma.

But what if it is not a fix? What if the great American unwashed are not keeping Sanjaya in to do down the show but because they like him?

Tony Bennett, the music great who Frank Sinatra called “the best singer in the business”, has praised Sanjaya’s vocal talent.

But then, what matter if he can sing or not? If Sanjaya wins, he’ll sell records. And with the right lighting, sound engineering, styling, grooming and breakfast cereal, he’ll make his fortune…

HOWARD Stern says vote for Sanjaya Malakar – his Sanjaya Malakar.

As Tabloid Baby writes, ever since Howard Stern dropped off the pop culture radar screen when he took a huge lump of money and ran off to satellite radio, he’s relied on a powerful PR company to keep his name in the news.

Whether it’s an engagement to his girlfriend (just in time, as her popularity is surpassing his), or cruelly sending out his besotted sidekick Artie Lange on a public Belushi-Farley death tour, Howard has become a silent gossip item who can’t overcome the impression that he’ll need to return to free radio in one form or another.

And now he’s claiming to be influencing American Idol by promoting a website that urges people to vote for Sanjaya Malakar. And, with his powerful PR company, the claim that no one got to hear on the radio gets front page placement today in the New York Times!

“We’re corrupting the entire thing,” Mr. Stern said on his pay show Thursday, the day after Sanjaya secured a place in the top nine. “All of us are routing American Idol. It’s so great. The No. 1 show in television and it’s getting ruined.”

Bullshit! Continue reading the article and you’ll see that Howard’s claims are refuted… while the stately New York Times supports Tabloid Baby’s exclusive report that India is keeping Sanjaya in the contest!

Howard’s claims that he influenced the voting are based on the fact that Sanjaya bounced out of the bottom three on March 19 - but that was the day after his extraordinary, mind-blowing, crying girl performance of The Kink’s “You Really Got Me” (which has already made it onto Tabloid Baby’s list of the Top 50 TV Moments of All Time).

And although it used Howard as the hook for its article, The Times gives a different analysis of the appeal of “Mr. Malakar, who at 17 looks like a 1970s pop star of the David Cassidy/Bobby Sherman/Andy Gibb variety… (and) is perhaps the most talked-about Idol contestant ever:

“A number of those voting for Mr. Malakar may be genuine fans, many of them in the pre- and early-teenage brackets, to judge from posts on a number of Internet bulletin boards dedicated to the show.

“But the fans also include older women and Indian-Americans, and Mr. Malakar’s progress is being tracked voraciously by Indian newspapers in both the United States and India…”

A Fox spokeswoman dismissed Howard’s claims, just as executive producer Nigel Lythgoe shrugged off the website last week.

So why did The New York Times write an article that featured Howard Stern? Well, the LA Times was scandalized recently over an editor’s romance with a woman who does PR for Brian Grazer. What’s the Sirius-Times connection?

Tabloid Baby

AMERICAN Idol continues to work towards its inevitable conclusion – whispering Sanjaya Malakar’s annointment as the new false deity of reality TV singing contests.

And that reality gets one step nearer as Chris Sligh is eliminated from the American Idol Top Ten.

Tabloid Baby wonders how “the out-of-breath doughboy with the mop of curls” failed to trounce Sanjaya’s Desi factor. Sligh garnered the support of the “Southern-based voting bloc - and that could be because many had damned him for making it to Idol in the first place.”

As TB tells us, Chris’s music is not founded in “an indie, alternative-rock background’, but the Christian music scene.

Chris never advertised his Christian background. But his roots are without question. “Chris is the son of Christian missionaries, spent much of his childhood overseas, attended the conservative fundamentalist Bob Jones University, and was a favourite of the influential Gospel Music Association.”

To put a tin lid on it, Chris performs as part of the Seacoast Church “praise band” in Greenville, South Carolina.

There is nothing untoward in this, of course. The voice is the voice, and which American singer does not thank God for giving them the gift as they accept a gong and tap their heart.

But it is Chris’s misfortune to have been misunderstood by the people whose votes would have kept him on the show.

As TB says, he’s been the target of backlash because he recently began performing mainstream (The Devil’s) pop music.

Anorak’s man in Los Angeles hears Jonathan Pait, spokesman for the Bob Jones school, say: “We really are somewhat disappointed with the direction he has gone musically.”

“Well, TB and Idol voters are also disappointed with Chris’ direction - into bland pop music and apologies (to Simon, and for his singing).”

And there is Sting, whose songs the agonists were invited to sing. As TB says: “And let it be a lesson to future Idol contestants: Keep away from that satanic yogic lute-playing (and Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip guest star), Sting. Both Chris and Phil ‘Bat Boy’ Stacy sang boring Sting songs. Both wound up in the bottom three.”

And here comes Sanjaya. No need to sing. The show’s music maestros have let him perform “De Do Do Do De Da Da Da.” Can Sanjaya fail? The only danger is that no-one hears him. But then he’d still beat Chris and Stacy…

Tabloid Baby

AMERICAN Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar stopped whispering.

Who needs call centres in India? asks Tabloid Baby. Sanjaya Malakar’s unexpectedly uninhibited and totally bizarre performance last night, aided by a deft director who kept cutting to a little girl who’d been weeping through the entire show (a tribute to the evening’s British Invasion theme, of course) was one of the most memorable moments in American Idol history.

And despite the best efforts of the judges to sway the votes, Sanjaya would seem to be a lock for a place in the Final 10, and upcoming Idol concert tour and album. (Too bad for Phil “Bat Boy” Stacey, who reminds us of a big kid from the Make A Wish Foundation.)

Sanjaya’s explosion comes amid a furious refutation from one of the Indiacentric websites that led to our exclusive report about suspicions that Sanjaya’s voting bloc was the Desi (South Asian) community here and outsourced call centres in India.

In the days after our report was picked up by media around world, Uberdesi writes:

“First off, AI cannot be broadcast LIVE in India. Everything is time-delayed… It is highly improbable for a TV to be present in a call centre environment; do you watch reality programming when you are at your job? Even if there is a TV that did broadcast an American Channel, AI would be broadcast at the wee hours of the morning.

“The time difference would mean that the show should be available at approximately 6:30 / 7:30 AM for it to be live. But from Star World’s online schedule it plays at 10 am on Thursday, which makes it 11:30 P.M. Central Time and at 8 P.M. on Wednesday, which would be 9:30 P.M Central Time Tuesday night This also happens to be the busiest time for call centres, considering the calls they have to make to the west coast.

“Think of all those telemarketing calls you receive every night when you sit down at the dinner table; if those cunning Indians were stuffing a virtual ballot box for someone who isn’t even really one of their own, would they have time to annoy you?”

We’ll know more after tonight’s results show. That Peter Noone turned out to be a good mentor after all…

Tabloid Baby

AMERICAN Idol continues its long trawl for talent. Antonella Barba had talent, but of the wrong sort for this show.

Sanjaya Malakar has talent and should his nascent career as America’s leading whisperer fail to prosper he can combine his act with his Phil Spector impersonation to become a truly unique performer.

But there is singing talent on the show. And it’s name is Melinda Doolittle.

As Tabloid Baby notes, Melinda may not have much by way of neck, but again she showed tonight that she’s head and shoulders above the other finalists on American Idol.

Melinda, of course, is a professional. She makes a living as a background singer. She comes with a vocal coach and stylist. At 29, she’s the oldest contestant, and despite her shy onstage demeanor, she obviously knows who she is. But how soon until America gets the hint?

In the latest episode dedicated to the rock ‘n’ rolling British Invasion of the Sixties, Melinda chose “As Long As He Needs Me” fro the musical Oliver. But in the opening line, sitting on the lip of the stage, she quite clearly enunciated, “As long as she needs me,” before switching back to “he” for the rest of the song.

Will America have its first openly-gay Idol here? A few weeks back, Melinda sang the gay anthem, “My Funny Valentine” and dedicated it her two “closest” female friends, whom she called her “Gayles” - as in “gay girls” - or as she explained, “Gayle King,” the woman long rumoured to be Oprah Winfrey’s lover (Melinda said she’s the Oprah in the triangle). And two weeks ago, she made her mark with a strutting “I’m A Woman.”

Tonight, she laid it all out. And was that a (Oprah’s longtime alleged boyfriend) Stedman Graham joke when she held onto the line: “I’ll cling on… sted-fast-ly…”?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But whether Melinda the professional is merely reaching for a voting demographic, has an Oprah jones, or playing it loud and proud… we’d say it doesn’t matter! It’s about time we had a gay Idol!

The real issue is whether Melinda, as a professional, should be in the contest to begin with. Because every time she sings, she’s so much better than the others…

But how about that Sanjaya? He deserves to stay another week! Whisper it…

According to American Idol, the 1960s British Invasion was epitomised by these tunes:

Haley Scarnato - “Tell Him” by The Exciters.
Chris Richardson - “Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying” by Gerry and the Pacemakers.
Stephanie Edwards - “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” by Dusty Springfield.
Blake Lewis - “Time Of The Season” by the Zombies. He beatboxes at the start. (probably kinda like the record).
Lakisha Jones - “Diamonds are Forever,” Shirley Bassey (from the Bond movie).
Phil Stacey - “Tobacco Road” by The Nashville Teens.
Jordin Sparks - “I Who Have Nothing” by Tom Jones.
Sanjaya Malakar - “You Really Got Me” by the Kinks. (EEP!)
Gina Glocksen - “Paint it Black” by the Rolling Stones.
Chris Sligh - “She’s Not There” by the Zombies
Melinda Doolittle - “As Long as He Needs Me” from the musical “Oliver!”

AMERICAN Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar is Phil Spector’s alter ego?

Wall of Hair pop music producer Phil Spector sported a new coif as jury selection began in his murder trial today.

Spector, in court to defend his name in the shooting dead of actress Lana Clarkson at his Los Angeles home four years ago – arrived at the Los Angeles Superior Court looking every inch the International Man of Mystery.

But Spector is not Austin Powers. Spector is Sanjaya Malakar, who each week stands accused of murdering another song on American Idol.

Tabloid Baby spots the trend and wonders what Sanjaya will have in store for the American Idol judges next week.

SURYA Yamanchili, in his final hours as the most-recently fired Apprentice candidate, is the latest to weigh in on the worldwide debate over our report on suspicions that Sanjaya Malakar’s stay on American Idol is being extended by bloc voting in India - specifically from workers and technology in outsourced call centers in cities like New Delhi. writes Tabloid Baby.

Surya, like Sanjaya, is a hero to the Desi community because of his prominence on an American reality TV series (Indian-American couple Vipul and Arti Patel didn’t make it past the first episode of last season’s Amazing Race). He doesn’t buy the theory.

“What the hell?” he writes us. “This seems pretty idiotic to me. There are no facts supporting it all - just total speculation. Why don’t they just speculate that Martians are voting for him because Martians consider themselves Asian?”

Hard-core rap fan Surya (who, like Sanjaya, was born in the USA) admits, “I haven’t followed Idol. I think the fact that you can ‘manufacture’ a pop music star on national TV is proof what shit most pop music is today! Although I think if I watched the show, I’d probably like it!”

The story was based on a wave of Internet chatter on Indian and Desi blog and news sites. Since it’s been picked up around the world, new suspicions and theories have emerged.

But the potential scandal has picked up even more traction and debate in the UK, where anti-Asian bias is more of a problem, and became a national scandal amid charges of racism on Celebrity Big Brother.

Read about it here.

PICTURES of American Idol wannabe Antonella Barba warming up her tonsils in unconventional style have made her a star in the US.

And now that Antonella has been booted from the show, she uses her mouth to tell People magazine how it feels.

As with all reality TV shows there are shocks as talent is forsaken for something less. The show has cast a spotlight on one Sanjaya Malakar, a teenager who would whisper if he only spoke up a bit.

We had thought Antonella would progress far, past third, fourth and even fifth base. Antonella would go all the way.

But it was not to be. And now she tells us: “All that other stuff was completely irrelevant to the fact that I’m here to sing.”

And so it was - which is hard luck on Antonella who may have expected something else. Because, as People says, there is no such thing as bad publicity. Right?

“Yes, it’s true that my name is more well-known because of it, but I’m not known for the things that I would like to be known for right now,” says Antonella. She says that “the pictures are irrelevant to me as an artist”.

And: “I wanted to make a name for myself in singing. The pictures that have been released of me – the ones that actually are me – they were very personal and that is not how I intended to portray myself. I’d rather promote myself in a more classy way. And, again, that was private – that was not for the public eye.”

Antonella’s mistake seems to have been to stray from the celebrity guide – the straight-to-internet, X-rated stuff coincides with a mid-career dip career and not at fame’s apogee.

So what now for Antonella? People hears of an offer to pose for Playboy, which she denies.

But People wants to know if she’d do it?

“No,” she replies. “Right now I want to look at all the offers I get and sort out what’s best for me right now. I’m definitely not opposed to acting or modelling or something.”

As she said after the show: “I’d love to do all three, act, model, and sing. I’m definitely willing to sort out the offers I get and figure out what’s best for me.”

We are sure there will no shortage of offers for Antonella. And, who knows, someone may even want her to sing…

American Idol’s Antonella Barba - an open letter…

“I FEEL for you, cause you’ve taken a lot of stick in the media. I think you’ve handled yourself well throughout, and I don’t think anyone should be put in that situation. But I’m not going to patronize you here…”

As the situation mushrooms from a naughty half-naked photo scandal to charges of discrimination, racism, favoritism, unpatriotism and porn-peddling immorality behind the scenes of America’s top television show, the Antonella Barba scandal finally got a mention on American Idol last night.

Simon Cowell stepped gingerly around the controversy while doing his best to subliminally order viewers to vote the poor thing out before things get even farther out of hand. His comments to Antonella after she managed to mangle a Corinne Bailey Rae easy-listening Starbucks staple constituted a gracious kiss-off to the worst remaining female singer.

Antonella, true to form, didn’t get it.

Said Simon: “You’ve gone as far as you can go, Antonella. I mean, the reality is, and I think you know this yourself, which is, you are surrounded by some pretty amazing girl singers. And I don’t know how much more you can do, to be honest with you, because I don’t think your voice is going to get any better.

“I feel for you, cause you’ve taken a lot of stick in the media. I think you’ve handled yourself well throughout, and I don’t think anyone should be put in that situation. But I’m not going to patronize you here. It wasn’t your worst, we’ve heard you sound worse, but I just have a problem here, which is I just wish you could sing better.”

As she did last week, Antonella responded to the criticism by challenging it. She said, in part:

”I know I’m surrounded by really talented people and I think that I’m just, I have a different style than them and I’m not trying to compare myself to anyone else and I with the judges wouldn’t compare me to anyone else because I try to be myself… We’re all different, we’re all unique.”

Two gals and two guys will be eliminated tonight at 8. Our money is on Antonella hanging in. And if she does, don’t be surprised if “someone” leaks more-explicit photos that they’ve been holding back, so Idol producers have no choice but to ask her to leave the competition.

http://tabloidbaby.blogspot.com/