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Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995Tabloid news for broadsheet readers |
The War On Terror, the War on Islam, the War on Iraq and Afghanistan, and the faces of extremism
SO this is war. Who threw the first falafel. Come on. Own up!
A new war between Israel and Lebanon has erupted, but this time the war is not geopolitical, but rather an issue of cuisine-who has sovereignty over traditional Arab dishes and sandwiches.
There’s nothing like a good old traditional Labanese Lord Al Sandwich.
IRANIANS are chanting “Death to Israel”. Borrringggggg. Can they get a new chant, one that rhymes?
Well, not all of them are chanting, just the Islamist students who are unveiling a new book.
The book “Holocaust,” published by members of Iran’s Islamist Basij militia, features dozens of cartoons and sarcastic commentary. Education Minister Alireza Ali-Ahmadi attended the official launch of the book in Tehran’s Palestine Square.
The Telegraph , which reports on the action, doesn’t say how much the book sells for, nor if it can be ordered online.
SAYS CRESSIDA Dick, the woman who gave the orders for police to shoot dead Jean Charles de Menezes:
“If you are asking me did we do anything wrong or unreasonable then I don’t think we did.”
Jean Charles de Menezes was guilty of living in the same block of flats as 7/7 bomber Hussain Osman.
Who can argue with Ms Dick’s statement that he deserved to die?
WHAT better way to salute the British armed forces than by instructing 12 wannabe singers and budding celebs to sing a warbling version of Mariah Carey’s Hero?
Answer: none.
The Sun features the X Factor’s first ever song for charity, and hears Simon Cowell say that:
“It’s too good an opportunity to pass up.”
Indeed, even in war there is opportunity for spivs, arms manufacturers and entertainers to get rich and famous. For Vera Lynn, read four-piece girl group Bad Lashes.
GOOD news in the War on Terror: hook-handed, one-eyed, purple preacher eater Abu Hamza might be able to stay in Blighty for another five years.
As Anorak readers know, every since Hamza was jailed and Omar Bakri went to live in Lebanon, the tables have been running Celebrity Vex Factor, the hunt for the new gurning, raving face of British Islmofascism.
But the Muslim community is just not up to it. All we get is understanding, no bombs, no vitriol and no lunacy.
IN SAUDI Arabia, the girls are making eyes at the boys:
A Muslim cleric in Saudi Arabia has called on women to wear a full veil, or niqab, that reveals only one eye.
Sheikh Muhammad al-Habadan said showing both eyes encouraged women to use eye make-up to look seductive…
Bedroom eyes…
LAST week, Wikipedia big wig Jimmy Wales met with Cai Mingzhao, Vice Director of China’s State Council Information Office - the government body whose “Internet Management Division” is in charge of censoring online content.
They discussed Jimmy’s concerns about censorship. No deals or agreements were made, but Jimmy tells me that the meeting has opened a channel of communication and dialogue between the Wikipedia community and the Chinese government.
Wikipedia: China -”Land of free and brave.”
The official website gave no further information about what was discussed. IT blogger Keso - on his blogspot blog but not on his main China-hosted blog - remarked: “In this kind of meeting, it’s unclear what Cai Mingzhao is smiling at Wales about, it must have been interesting.” I saw Jimmy on Saturday at the World Economic Forum meeting in Tianjin. (Jimmy is one of the WEF’s Young Global Leaders.) I told him that news of his meeting was on the Internet and that people were starting to wonder what was up. He was surprised, because he said his interlocutors had indicated they didn’t want the meeting to be public.
Since 2005 Wikipedia - both Chinese and English - has been blocked in China, but it was unblocked in the run-up to the Olympics, along with a number of other overseas websites.
Wikipedia: challengeing facts across borders…
Jimmy Wales On Rachel Marsden On Wikipedia
Jimmy Wales’ Stir-Fried Wikipedia
Shoes For Hats: Daily Mirror Hack’s Zany Wikiepdia Cheat
Shannon Matthews: Sir Norman Bettison’s Wikipedia Update
Lawrence Solomon On Wikipedia Climate Control
French Reporters Warned Off Facebook And Wikipedia
The Battle For The Soul Of Wikipedia
Wikipedia: The Journalists’ Friend
Jimmy Wales On Rachel Marsden On Wikipedia
Al Sugar’s 54-A-Side Manchester City
Is The Times Fixing For Free Web Traffic On Wikipedia?
Jimmy Wales Accused Of Editing Wikiepdia For Money
Celebrity News Of The Day: Vernon Kaye Is Not Dead:
Wikipedia’s NPOV Is Negotiable On Climate Change
“THIS is the Wartime Broadcasting Service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons.
“Communications have been severely disrupted, and the number of casualties and the extent of the damage are not yet known.”
In the 1970s, the BBC and the Government made ready for nuclear war:
IF the Government can be relied upon for anything it is to lose our confidential data.
With one in four of us working for the State, the Government has lots of data to lose.
The one hope is that whoever finds your child benefits history will be unable to make it tally with information they already have on your driving record, your time in prison, your work for national defence and more.
(Image: Beau Bo D’Or)
Today’s data disaster is that an MI6 agent left secrets about Al-Qaeda on the digital camera he sold on eBay.
MORE on Yasmin Fostock, Omar Bakri’s pole dancer daughter, and the cunning plan to bring the message of jihad to gentlemen’s clubs.
Now one of her former lover’s tells the Sun: “We had mad sex”, as befitting the daughter of the mad mullah; “… it was loud.” Well, if she will borrow her father’s Tannoy.
“But then what did I expect? A pole dancer does not just have ordinary sex.”
Indeed, not. A pole dancer has sex with a metal pole. The risk is that no man will measure up.
“TERRORISTS inmates are recruiting a new army of extremists in British prisons,” says the Star Says column.
Have the jihadis been watching the Dirty Dozen? Is Abu Hamza Lee Marvin 32ith an in-built Swiss Army knife?
“Worried bosses are now thinking about housing all Britain’s terror lags in one super-prison to keep them away from others.”
The Daily Star can read their thoughts. It rubs it temples and urges restraint, saying that placing the terror lags in one jail “would light a time bomb that could destroy Britain”.
DECLAN Donnelly and Ant McPartlin are in Afghanistan.
While the enemy has boy soldiers, we have soldiers who look like toddlers. The Mirror leads with news that both are under attack.
The tots are in the war zone on the pretext of presenting our squaddies with Daily Mirror Pride of Britain awards, plastic medallions featuring the faces of EastEnders Mitchell brothers and the legend: “REAL NEWS… REAL ENTERTAINMENT, 40p.”
DAYS on from news that mad mullah Omar Bakri paid for his daughter’s boob job and the plan to bring jihad to the country’s gentlemen’s clubs is curtailed.
The Star brings the front-page news that Chanelle Hayes will NOT be having her chest enlarged.
The Big Brother strumpet has made her decision in response to a Star reader’s poll. Tough on the War On Terror, and as patriotic as the next scaffolder, Star readers are turning their backs on artificial breasts, staring Islamofascism in the chest and saying “No”.
IN Egypt, there is no freedom of speech:
Ibrahim Eissa, editor of the independent daily al-Dustor, was originally convicted in March and sentenced to six months on charges of reporting and publishing false information that questioned the health of 80-year-old President Hosni Mubarak. The judges at the time ruled that a series of articles he published threatened national stability and caused foreign investors to pull their money out of the country.
What money?
THE FIFTH Rule of Tabloid Journalism states that all stories must contain a celebrity element.
So here are three men allegedly pouring petrol through the letter box of Martin Rynja’s Islington home - he’s “the boss of a publishing company that is to release a novel about the private life of the Prophet Mohammed.”
The book, The Jewel Of Medina, is a fictional account of the Prophet’s relationship with his nine-year-old bride Aisha. Says the blurb:
WANT to read about how three women, aged 16 to 18, were buried alive with a JCB for the awful crime of expressing the desire to marry someone they had chosen.
And this is our ally?:
HOW many nutters who dropped a shard of copper into Omar Bakri’s big pot believed the “UK’s Twin Towers” would be a building and not a pair of false breasts?
And who would have supposed that such a gigantic tit as Omar Bakri would sire a daughter who was a flat chested as the Taliban Boys’ Choir’s Ironing Board Society?
Mindful of this, our attention is caught by happenings in Colorado, where a teenager has hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend.
IS this how victory in the war on terror will be marked, with the arrival of Omar Bakri’s daughter on page 3?
To rival pictures of Churchill flashing a Victory salute, US soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima and Saddam Hussein in his underpants, is Yummy Yasmin Fostok to flash her Twin Towers?
The West will surely have won when Yasmin gets ‘em our for the lads.
The Mail features the totems of our success on the battle field, and in the hearts and minds, with a shot of Yasmin cradling her chest and the headline: “Revealed: Radical cleric Bakri’s pole-dancer daughter.”
Well, revealed yesterday in the Sun, but here she is again. Says the paper:
Hundreds of youngsters go wild over the daughter of the preacher of hate who rants against Western ‘depravity’.
And so too will thousands of middle-aged men and other Mail readers who likeways rail, and stare, we’d wager.
And what of those boobs? Truthers tuning in might wonder at their authenticity. And, indeed, Yasmin’s weapons of mass detraction are fakes, paid for by her dear old dad.
OMAR Bakri’s legacy to the nation is not only a green Ford Galaxy and a wiry hair in the soap dish; he leaves us in the company of “busty” Yasmin Fostok, 27, his daughter who functions as a pole dancer.
“I don’t get on with my dad,” says Yasmin, who appears on the Sun’s front page dressed in a T-shirt, jeans and fur-collared jacket.
The Sun does get on with Barki. It picks up the phone and dials “1” to get Bakri’s view. Somewhere in a converted caravan in Lebanon, a red phone is ringing.
Ring! Ring!
MAHMOUD Ahmadinejad is limbering up to address the great and good at New York’s Hyatt Hotel.
Also in New York is Australia’s leader Kevin Rudd.
That might be the same Kevin Rudd who vowed to take “legal action” against Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the International Court of Justice for “inciting genocide”.
As Rudd might recall, Ahmadinejad vowed to wipe Israel off the world’s map, and in so doing kill millions of Jews.
As Piers Ackerman says:
That was then. Prime Minister Rudd is now at the UN where he has every opportunity to ask Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon to refer Ahmadinejad’s genocidal calls to the UN Security Council as a matter threatening international peace and security.
Rudd is a man of his word. He’ll pull his finger out and point it at the would-be weisse angel:
A PRESS release from Her Majesty’s Government: “The first UK Identity Card will be unveiled by the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, on Thursday 25 September at 11.30am.”
Media are invited to attend an on-the-record, on-camera press conference at the Home Office where the design of the first cards, which will be issued to foreign nationals from November this year, will be revealed.
Anorak has an insider there.
JUDITH Towend on how the BBC’s undercover soldier stuffed up and offers no right to reply:
It’s a story that has seen a hive of online activity: the BBC puts a new reporter in the army for six months (he’s never worked in the media before); puts out a documentary, based on mainly anecdotal evidence; the army suspends five people (not clear how many were a result, if any, of the investigation); the mainstream media reports on the whole thing (Telegraph report linked here, as an example).
A Facebook group has been created criticising the reporter for the programme - suggesting he should be tried for treason - which at the time of writing has 1,460 members.
Yet nowhere on the BBC website is there anywhere to post a comment.
Russell Sharp, are you there..?