Nicola McLean’s Optics Illusion To Timmy Mallett’s Little Kilroy-Silk

IN the I’m A Celebrity Jungle “our Nicola” McLean “has still got her boobs out”.

Only she hasn’t. Nicola’s boobs remain restrained in her top waiting for the moment when despair takes root in the celebrity camp and she can uncork out her nipples and dispense a hearty broth (left) and nip of gin (right) to one and all.

And bad times they are a-comin’. The Star tells of “killer storms”, “bloody fights” and a Joe Swash out.

Joe wants to know if the campmates have a pet name for their penises. But these celebs are not different to the rest of us and all call theirs Robert Kilroy-Silk. There’s not a Prince Tiaammi or a Honeysuckle Blossom among them.

The other highlight of the week was revealing to the celebs that two more of their tribe have parachuted into the Blue Peter garden. (It’s really overgrown since Percy Thrower curled up his toes.)

Timmy Mallet is correctly identified. Then a pause as Carly Zucker tries to read the words write large beneath the picture of a tinted male who looks bit like what would happen to Jamie Oliver if he got locked in a sauna with a bag of doughnuts.

It’s David Van Day. A pause. It’s Timmy Mallett. Hurray. And he doesn’t disappoint, laughing his little heart out as big Kilroy-Silk is tortured on live telly.

Mallett laughs so hard Kilroy takes offence. Kilroy says he’s doing it for the team. Yeah, Kilroy. Ho-ho. Team. He-he. You set them up, Timmy will knock them in with his giant hammer…

Anorak

Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0