Golf Can Make You Deaf - Daily Mail headline of the year
2009: Anorak’s Diary
Obama rising, Gore sinking, Jamie Oliver exported, Beckham chipping, Ledger returning
Terrorists Target Jews Sugar, Winehouse and Ronson: Blair Outraged
UK Jews on and not on terror list
The 12 Worst Pop Music Lyrics Ever
SHOULD the dancing and the singing and the breeding not work out for her, Britney Spears is showing signs of being a pretty good lyricist.
Speaking through the tears on a TV interview, Britney is heard to say:
“It’s bad. I’m sad.”
In your face, Chris de Burgh, who notoriously rhymed “dance” with “romance” in his seminal hit Lady In Red.
Anorak has delved into the pop archives and now brings you the 10 Worst Rhymes In Pop. Chins up, Britney, you may yet be great:
12. Smokey Robinson: Tears of a Clown
Now if there’s a smile on my face
It’s only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that’s quite a different subject
Public and Subject is no easy rhyme. But with bad diction, Smokey pulls it off. And everyone’s too scared of clowns to say anything to his face.
11. Steve Miller Band: Take the Money and Run
Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his living off other people’s taxes
What do taxes rhyme with? Revolution? Perhaps…
10. George Harrison: Awaiting On You All
You don’t need no passport
And you don’t need no visas
You don’t need to designate or to emigrate
Before you can see Jesus
Hari Jesus/ Here to please us/ Don’t answer the door/ It’s Hari Jesus…
9. Chris De Burgh: Lady In Red
I’ve never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They’re looking for a little romance, given half a chance
The marn who put the extra ‘r’ in romance. And then laid his heeling hands all over the nanny.
Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Comments
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:54 am
A shade better than Maizey dotes & dozey dotes & little lambsy divey!!
Mares eat oats & does eat oats & little lambs eat ivy.
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:15 am
By the time I’ve worked out what the words are, the song is old hat
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
As it’s Christmas. I give you Lonely Pup by Arthur Alexander in its entirity. Every line, every verse, every chorus a true master class. You will be singing this for days. I know I have been …..sob
Soft brown eyes that seem to say
Stop a while, I want to play
Would you, could you, do please stop
He’s a lonely pup in a Christmas shop
Thank you lady, thank you sir
Is there someone else that you’d prefer
He’s not selfish, just a flop
Though he wags his tail in a Christmas shop
Mister Santa, if you would
Send him someone, oh so good
Someone who will take him home
For ev’ryone to see
Christmas time, a Christmas tree
With a happy family
Pity him, he’s got no Pop
He’s a lonely pup in a Christmas shop
Mister Santa, if you would
Send him someone, oh so good
Someone who will take him home
For ev’ryone to see
Christmas time, a Christmas tree
With a happy family
Pity him, he’s got no Pop
He’s a lonely pup in a Christmas shop
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
That’s very moving, Yampster.
Actually, what I really wanted for Christmas was the Cellulite Action Pack; do puppies work?
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:38 pm
That was Adam Faith who sang Lonely Pup, he was Rickmans predecessor, even after my dad and AF crashed into each other
December 2nd, 2008 at 10:44 pm
she checks out mozart
while she does tai-bo
reminds me that
there’s room to grow
Actual lyrics!
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:41 am
They’re probably not the perpetrators of bad rhymes but can I nominate doo-wop music? Why must we still hear its gibberish to this day? Like fins on cars, it was ugly and pointless.
“…Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong
Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop
Who put the dip in the dip-de-dip-de-dip
Who was that man, I’d like to shake his hand…”
Really? I’d like to see him suffer eternal torment.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who’s boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I drive around the town
Trying to run them down
It’s seldom that they live to see the morning
Plastic Jesus - Various Artists
and the anthem of BMW drivers everywhere
December 6th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Pussycat Dolls’ “When I Grow Up” takes some beating:
When I grow up, I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies
When I grow up, I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars, I wanna have boobies.
Although, to be fair, they redeem themselves a little by exchanging ‘boobies’ for ‘groupies’ in the radio edit.
Blondie rhyming Maria with ‘See ‘er’ is a highlight of pop music too.