The X-Factor: Anthea Turner Goes Down

ALEXANDRA Burke is the “£10million winner” (Mail) of TV’s X Factor, and makes real the “£1m dream” (Mirror).

To her go the spoils of recording contract, to be called the “new Leona Lewis” and to sing a warbling cover version of Little Drummer Boy.

But for every winner there must be a loser, and the Mail brings the associated front-page news that Anthea Turner is a “100m LOSER”.

Anthea Turner weeps as she reveals she might lose her £5million mansion in the credit crunch.

Says the woman who lent her hair to X Factor hopeful Eoghan Quigg:

I don’t think a £5million mansion makes you happy.

It’s the Ex-Husband Factor as “poor Della’s” ex husband Grant Bovey’s £100million buy-to-let empire crumbles like a Cadbury’s Flake. Bovey is Mr Anthea, and he tells us:

We are in the same boat as millions of other people. Next year is going to be very tough.

Those X Factor losers who also lost out on millions could cry. And they do. Says Anthea:

I don’t think a £4.2million mansion makes you happy.

But there is hope for Anthea, who as the Mail snootily says “has been reduced to advertising household detergents”.

But there is hope. Anorak has been working on a new TV format and can now bring you news of “Cowell School”, the new talent show in Living Dave III in which celebrities compete to make a classroom of children cry. Says Anthea:

I don’t think a £3.35million mansion makes you happy, and I’ll throw in the tea towels.

Cherie Blair, Michael Barrymore, Trinny and Susannah, Robert Kilroy-Silk Noel Edmonds and Jermy Paxman have already been signed up.

So how’s about it Anthea? If anyone can make the kiddies cry it’s you? Right, Della?

Anorak

Posted: 15th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink