Father Christmas: Santa And Sinitta Meet Simon Cowell

SIMON Cowell is on the cover of Hello!

“SIMON COWELL AND SINITTA PREPARE FOR A FAMILY CHRISTMAS TOGETHER,” says the caption.

The picture shows Cowell sat alongside three children and Sinitta, singer of 1980s Longley Hearts advert So Macho, and Santa Claus.

No great shock to learn that Cowell is related to Santa, doubtless supplying the bearded one with the latest cover versions of past seasonal hits to spice up stockings and pillow cases.

But what of the children? Did Santa respond to Sinitta’s musical longings and prove his machismo by supplying all the boys and girls with presents the world over in a mere 24 hours, kissing their mums (both cheeks and full on mouth) and shimmying up chimneys at rate of 32 a minute?

Or is Cowell the daddy? Cowell has never appeared the most paternal cover, and one wonders if risk of siring more bairns lies behind his move towards those pulled-to-the-nipple trousers?

Then there is the question of which the girls and boys write begging letters to more often, Santa or Cowell? Santa might be good for a pushbike and some stickers, but Cowell can get you a recording contract and one of Cheryl Cole’s used tissues.

As Sinitta says: “I think they think Simon is the real Father Christmas.”

So who’s the daddy?

Anorak

Posted: 16th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink