Big Brother Race Row: Ulrika Jonsson Is Face Of Panty Liners
Day 14
IN the new Big Brother race row shocker sensation Michelle Heaten is making a stand for orange people everywhere.
Says an Ofcom spokesman:
“I can confirm we have had complaints about Wednesday night’s show over issues concerning Coolio. We will be investigating.”
What’s Coolio done then?
[More...] Coolio, 45, reduced Michelle Heaton, 28, to tears by teasing her about fancying Ben Adams, 27.
Coolio stands accused of being orange-ist. Says a spokesman for the FANTA - Friends Against Natural Tanned ‘Ate:
“How much longer must this prejudice be allowed to go on? Orange people are not just there for others to knock down like pumpkins on sticks. Not since the dark days of the Oompaloompas have we seen such bigotry passed off as entertainment.”
Says one caller to the Star’s hotline:
“If Coolio was a white man and Michelle a young black girl there would have been uproar over his constant bullying – and no doubt it would now be a race row.”
Had only Michelle stayed in the tanning booth longer she might well have been black. But hindsight is wonderful thing.
A CBB spokesman said:
“Conflict often arises in the Big Brother house but what is important is how the conflict is dealt with.”
Going on to say that the show is not encouraging racism but investigating attitudes to disabilities…
Day 13
Tag-team shouting
Day 12
Coolio was bullied as child.
So he can’t be a bully. So says the Big Brother Book Of Rules.
He also can’t be a bully because Terry says so. Terry is Coolio’s official translator. Coolio says something and Terry translates it into media English.
Coolio is Terry’s God.
Was Terry bullied at school?
“BIG Brother Coolio fixes show,” screams the Daily Star.
SEX wars erupted on Celebrity Big Brother yesterday as Coolio lined the boys up against the girls.
War!
Bully Coolio formed a lads’ alliance against the women during nominations. All the men escaped being put up for eviction, but every girl apart from La Toya Jackson was on the list.
LaToya is not a man!
Day 11
The Play:
Tommy: “Up in the attic I heard a scream, who put the sand in the Vaseline?!”
Coolio: “Weakasaurus”
Michelle: “I can’t eat anything else for four hours. I’m not saying I’m hungry but it’d be good to eat something to soak up all the sugar, to counteract it.”
Terry: “Sometimes there’s a stalemate.”
Tina: “Proper cottage pie like this would have peas in it - and your mashed potato would have pepper in and some cream.”
TOMMY has nominated “Eureka.”
For an Archimedes screw? No for eviction.
Eureka-ka-ka-ka!
Day 10
BEN Adams is in the Big Brother house and Sam Grierson is in a lament to Daily Star readers.
Sam, pictured with her fingers pressed over her Pinders, says Ben is a “cold-hearted love rat.” She says Sam dumped her so he could be single on the show, and, presumably, be free to date Ulrika, Michelle, Tina, Latoya or Muttya.
Says Sam:
“I knew he had been in a boyband but that didn’t matter to me…To me he is just Ben.”
Anyone reading that may suppose that Sam sees a boyband past as abarrier to romance. Had it mattered to her would she have ever responded to Ben’s probings via Facebook?
Would Sam have checked him out and studies his lyrics?
Day by day you’re slowly running out of things to say./ So I may ask you why is it always me who has to try.
To make things feel right.
“I knew he had been in the Taliban,” says the mod-el, “but that didn’t matter to me… To me he was just Ben.”
She’s a big heart, has Sam. In her chest…
Old Mr Anorak is not all that sorry to see the back of Lucy…
Day 9
Sorry to see the back of Lucy Pinder…
Day 8
TOM SHERIDAN is singing Fields of Athenry, an Irish Republicn anthem beloved by fans of Glasgow Celtic FC.
The words (ahem):
By lonely prison wall,
I heard a young girl calling Michael they are taking you away
For you stole Trevaillians corn
So your young might see the morn
It’s so lonely ’round the Fields of AthenryChorus:
Lo lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly
Our love was on the wing
We had dreams and songs to sing
It’s so lonely ’round the Fields of AthenryBy lonely prison wall I heard a young man calling
Nothing matters Mary when you’re free
Against the famine and the crown
I rebelled, they cut me down
Now you must raise our child with dignity.Chorus
By lonely harbour wall, she watched the last hour falling
As the prison-ship sailed out against the sky
But she’ll live and hope and pray
For a prison ship lies waiting in the Bay
It’s so lonely ’round the Fields of Athenry
But the sound was cut. Fears of racism? No more n-word? For all we know TOMMY might have been singing the terrace version:
“Where once we watched the small free birds fly –
Chorus: oh baby, let the free birds fly
Our love was on the wing
Sinn Féin /
We had dreams and songs to sing –
IRA (or Fuck the Queen) /
It’s so lonely round the Fields of Athenry.
As he says:
IN the “NEW BIG BROTHER BULLY ROW”, the Daily Star says “Coolio has been rapped by Big Brother after claims he is bullying the girls in the house”.
Coolio is rap music answer to Tommy Steele, the Daddio of the British pop scene.
Wanna know what he might have done?
– Reduced model Lucy Pinder to tears by ranting: “Princess Lucy – acting like a little kid.”
– Leered at ex-Sugababe Mutya Buena and bragged: “I am going to get a hold of ‘that’ and make ‘it’ a point.”
– Urged Lucy and Mutya to have a fight for him because he gets off on ‘women on women violence’.
The Daily Star is outraged and sickened. Happily, no girl-on-girl action ensure, and the Star has not been forced to show images of Pinder having her top ripped off her chest by a rampant Mutya as Heaton snarls like a ginger tom on heat.
Coolio is available for panto…
Posted: 24th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism Comments (63) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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February 2nd, 2009 at 5:09 am
I didn’t know bb was still being done and people still watch it…and care? Amaz-ing.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
If the Tomoyah’s trial is as fixed as celeb B.B……then there will be only one winner…..
ULREE>>KA>>KA….the queen of reality T.V.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Tomoyah Sheridan and Princess Shrek (Gail Sheridan) may stand trial on perjury charges.
The charges relate to evidence given during Mr Sheridan’s defamation victory against the News of the World in 2006.
The newspaper had published sex and drugs claims against Tomoyah.
The investigation was launched after a judge said conflicting evidence in the defamation trial may have meant some people were perjuring themselves.
Preliminary hearing fixed for 26 February 2009 at the High Court in Edinburgh and a trial will then be fixed for later on in the year.
January 27th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
The Star kicked off a white backlash, it’s the only real explanation. Karen! I hate bbbm’s Jack, is he a “child drama school comedian”? He can certainly read an auto-cue and his bottle crashed at the Tomoyah/Latoya show. No mention of sex clubs or perjury case = chicken sh!t.
For example: Tommy I knew that you’d get on with Verne coz I heard your wife likes miniatures! Boom, Boom!!
January 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I think Verne snogging the doll fixed his chances before that. I probably would have turned it off had I been watching, which I wasn’t
January 26th, 2009 at 8:32 am
omg i loved cbb this year it was sooooooooooooooo class
January 25th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
It was Coolio who was racist asking Ulrika if she had slept with a black man and if she had a black baby…. imagine if anyone had dared ask Coolio if he had a white baby?
I’m not a fan of Ulrika’s by any means but, apart from Ben, she was the best of a really nasty lot. and certainly not racist!
The three Americans all blew their chances when they went ‘all american’ in the diary room together and LaToyah/Michael complained about the Brits not stepping away from the screen during the inauguration of B.O. to let the Amercians have front row. that was so funny……. one could almost see the votes slippng away!
Not that I was watching of course!!
January 25th, 2009 at 5:14 am
annie1
Not sure if she offspring. Ulrika 4×4 Jonson?
And she wasn’t remotely racist. Coolio set out to annoy people and LaToya didn’t like Ulrika because Ulrika looked angry all the time (which she was).
January 25th, 2009 at 12:41 am
What a lot of tosh!! Ulrika ? well in my opinion she didn’t even make a good job of weather forcasting. When will these self titled “celebs” realise that they have had their day - time to admit that its over!!!!! Has been? or never really was ?. I am not sure if the Swede has any offspring - but I would think that if she has they will be hiding under a pillow at this moment - hoping that this whole sorry saga will go away.
January 24th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
as for the whole racial thing, yea coolio ws spot on stating the obvious but we just choose to not notice it (for some reeaaason) like every other big brother show
January 24th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
the results were definately a typical fix n i bet the votes gt messed wit cos if netin ulrika ws spose to go first n she ws last? letoya ws probably meant to be the winner as she went first from the last 5..has it ever made u wonder whether it was deliberately switched round because we all predicted wt the results were gna be
January 24th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
I firmly believe…and so does Ulrealka ka…although this is.nt confirmed…that she is such a big celebrity and so well loved by all…that she should now be given her own show by Endemol…..instead of celebrity big brother…
UnREALKA…KA BIG BROTHER….the well loved, once weather girl, and now Celeb B.B. winner plays the part of presenter …and all the contestants in the house too.
It will make wonderful reality T.V. and we would’nt need to watch to see who the winner is.
January 24th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
…and so so reality t.v…..after all is Ulrika..ka not the prototype and role model for the darker version of herself..the Diva .. .that is Davina ….
January 24th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
…but predictable
January 24th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Sad.
January 24th, 2009 at 10:23 am
I told you Ulrika ka is all realka ka…she is the perfectly appropriate, celubrious and may I say…most gorgeous..winner of celebrity B.B…….reality on T.V.
…
January 24th, 2009 at 7:18 am
I watch it all the time - thank God I’m a great multi-tasker.
BBBM was genius. I love Jack!
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
John Leslie to win!
January 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 am
I never watch it personally. Didn’t they all go to bed early for a last night? Apparently. So I am told
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:39 am
I like Terry and didn’t expect to! He can laugh at himself which is unusual among that self-obsessed lot!
La Toyah IS Michael. No question. Two faced. Ha ha ha.
Tommy is as I expected, a pontificator who laughs loudly in the wrong places showing a reall lack of humour, but Ben for me is the dark horse, quite cute in a boyish way. (I have shoes older than him)
I have little time for Ulrika after the John Leslie thing but I do think Coolio went beyond the line with her and also with Michele. Coolio for the firing squad!
Verne is weird but then I guess he has had many bridges to cross to get where he is so I forgive him. (loved the diary room ramraid)
Not that I’ve been watching it of course.. load of old rubbish, I mean, who watches that stuff?
January 20th, 2009 at 3:19 am
Blackbob
I agree with your assessments.
We’re stuck with Tommy though - no one ever moves to Cuba.
January 19th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
The real revelation for me has been Terry, I thought I’d hate the manky gobshite, but I don’t. Even ‘though he’s got a face like a well slapped arse, he seems like a decent/down to earth bloke. He can also teach Tomoyah Sheridan how to pronounce Jalepeno. As for the dwarf guy - he’s wee and that’s it (apart from his creepiness).
Coolio is Coolio, only much dumber. Ms Jackson makes up for her lack of nose and charisma by being a scheming cow. Michelle looks like the lion from the Wizard of Oz and has the brain of a scarecrow, and if she has a heart it’ll be totally devoted to herself. Ben’s alright actually. Eureeka is a blonde version of the black widow spider.
But Tomoyah sheridan is a hypocritical cnut who, hopefully, will piss off to Cuba.
January 19th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Ooh, it’s like being on Digital Spy (but better, obviously
).
January 19th, 2009 at 12:12 am
Blackbob
I thought you didn’t like him over the sectarian song thingy (which wasn’t his fault and he wasn’t being sectarian - I’d know I’m a Catholic Rangers fan - I only just recently stopped hyperventilating when the issue gets mentioned…
).
But you’re entirely justified in slagging him off for his socialism/baldness/facial expressions/bellowing/excessive body hair/working out/tanning/vanity/villa in Cardonald etc. etc…
I’ve gone off him since he sneered at Ulrika tonight - she may be a moody cow, but she’s a moody cow with and 7 month old - and he’s being mean.
January 18th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Tomoyah Sheridan says “property is theft”, I take it then that he doesn’t own his own house, car etc,..I should lay off Tomoyah coz he’s a militant socialist doh! aye and Cuba’s a free country where you don’t get murdered for opposing the ruling red fascist clique!
January 18th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Does anyone else think that Tomoyah Sheridan has aged in the last few days? He’s even baldier than when he first went in and the facial expressions are more like Wallace (fae Wallace & Grommit) every day. As for his neddy numpty laugh, geezabrek!!
January 18th, 2009 at 1:57 am
I like Terry though.
Identities are weird things - if you think about them (and he’s smart) you can’t help but get screwed up.
January 18th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Mods
It was all in the live streaming!!!
January 18th, 2009 at 12:04 am
Blackbob
It was about nearly being attacked by a Rangers Fan, then he told one about him chasing Rangers Fans when he was a teenager and was being ‘daft’.
Then it turned into blokey boasting about football hooligans and American gangs in general.
But I’d lay off Tommy - he’s a militant socialist before he’s anything.
It’s Terry that’s been pushing the Irish chauvinist thing (for whatever emotional reasons) and he started it on day one when he said Sheridan and Malone where both good Irish names and they should start a Celtic group and Ulrika was a thin-lipped Anglo-Saxon - but Tina is all about Liverpool and I think Tommy is perfectly happy being a Scot.
January 17th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Verne said that Tomoyah told them his soccer story - can anyone enlighten? No doubt it involves “Shareen Nanjani”.
January 17th, 2009 at 1:48 am
I wanted Coolio to win but the old gits may have hit a tipping point - if 4 middle-aged men start ganging up on a harassed single-mother they could look like right bastards - even drunk, womanising, wannabe gangster Verne.