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Megan Fox Advertises For A British Lover

MORE news on Megan Fox, as the victim of nominative determinism stalks Leicester Square, shoves out her three “Ts” and says: “I’d consider a Brit.”

The Sun reviews Fox’s new film, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:

“The newly single superstar looked stunning in a floor-length black dress with plunging back at the London premiere of her new movie.”

Anorak gives it a PG, with scenes of gratuitous flirtation and sexual banter of an adolescent nature.

Scene 1: a grimy red carpet laid itself on a carpet of fag ends, pigeon excretions and chunky kebab and alcopop cocktails, London:

“I’m nervous about being single again. It’s very scary. I want my next boyfriend to be honest and funny. I haven’t met any of your British men yet - but I wouldn’t rule them out.”

And with that a million pubescent boys begin to work on their Ricky Gervais dance impression, dads asks mum, “What’s brown and sticky” and the mail says, “I say, I say, I say, Megan Fox has got club thumbs, how does she smell?”

Get a load of those thumbs. You can’t miss the thumbs:

The genetic condition is characterised by one or both thumbs being particularly short and bulbous at the end. On close inspection, Megan’s thumbs almost look more like toes - although they haven’t held her back in her career.

And her toes look like fingers. And her feet look like hands. And her hands are on the end of her legs, which look less like arms than her actual legs.

The British man who does squire Megan Fox can confirm or deny the rumour that she dresses to the left and how one of her legendary nipples is covered in a down of reddish contained in a sweat band like am angry young John McEnroe and the other resembles Ghandi in profile.

Says her co-Star Shia Labeouf, asked if he would like to date his Foxy co-star: