Kerry Katona Dreams Of Beef Curries

IN “KERRY – TWO STONE IN TWO MONTHS”, heat readers get to experience the Kerry Katona diet, which takes in “scary junk food & booze binges”.

By way of a taster, the larger part of hate’s cover page is covered by Kerry Katon’s bumage, boobage and tumage. Readers can make out the Pooh bear tattoo on her backside, which should do for honey sales what Osama bin Laden did for Afghan package tours.

Inside hate, and readers can learn “HOW KERRY PUT ON 2STONE IN 2 MONTHS”. That diet in full:

4 sugars in her tea
Eats the same size portion as Mark
Lunch every day is sandwich and chips
Drinks full-fat Coke
Orders fattening takeaways instead of making dinner
Snacks on Junk food constantly
Drinks larger for lunch
Dreams about beef curries
Smokes

Experts – a cosmetic surgeon and a nutritionist – pop up to comment on Kerry’s body. But with no dreamologist on hand, we are left wondering about Kerry’s curry dreams?

Does Kerry sleep talk, ordering extra nan breads, two beef Madras and a large top? And does husband Mark, keen to help his beloved, go and get them?

One fact though: now you know the Kerry Katona diet you too can gain weight and make it onto cover of a celebrity magazine – front and back…

Image: Kerry’s tattoo close up

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink