The Five Craziest Michael Jackson Death Theories
MICHAEL Jackson’s death has not only knocked Iran from the news but allowed the media to speculate on what killed the King of Pop.
Anorak brings you the Top Five Theories of Michael Jackson’s death:
1. Overdose on Painkillers:
The Sun reports on “an Emergency Room source at UCLA hospital said Jackson aides told medics he had collapsed after an injection of potent Demerol — similar to morphine.”
Says a Jackson source:
“Shortly after taking the Demerol he started to experience slow shallow breathing.
“His breathing gradually got slower and slower until it stopped.
“His staff started mouth-to-mouth and an ambulance was called which got there in eight minutes “But found he was in full respiratory arrest, no breathing and no pulse. They started full CPR and rushed him to hospital.
“When he arrived they started resuscitation, giving him heart shocks and inserted a breathing tube and other supportive measures to try and save his life.
“He never regained consciousness.The family was told that he had passed.”
2. He’s not Dead – It’s just a publicity stunt to drum up, er, publicity.
Perez Hilton, the unctuous gossip blogger says:
As Gawker notes, “In the last hour Perez Hilton has taken down the photo shown here and amended his original post so he doesn’t look as bad, but here’s the text of what he originally posted”:
We knew something like this would happen!!
Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!
We are dubious!!
Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ‘95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal!
He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!
Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!
Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!
Look out for the return of Heath Ledger – the world’s leading method actor.
3. Killed By Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
For well over a week, Iran was the media’s lead news story. But now Iran is old news, overtaken by the dearth of Michael Jackson.
The top stories on Twitter at the time of writing are:
Michael Jackson
Jacko
Ticket refunds
I am Michael Jackson
Wacko Jacko
Jordy Chandler
Farrah Fawcett
Habitat - Michael Jackson’s favourite high street future store
Farrah Fawcett swimsuit
Obama says “we bore witness to Jackson”
4. Michael Jackson only 45% dead.
Michael Jackson is not dead. According to cosmetic surgeons, only 45% of the original Jackson remained, which means 55% - the greater part – remains alive.
Although being a Michael Jackson impersonator is akin to hitting a moving target, there are now so many people who look like Jackson that the King of Pop swapped places with one of them in a Prince And the Pauper-style story.
5. Madame Tussaud’s is missing a waxwork.
Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (20) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:05 am
we all need to really be praying for one another, instead of downing and critizing our brothers /sister’s be loving supportive and kind to each other, pehaps m jackson had alot of good qualities ,talents yes he used them instead of bured them
he treasured his talent as he should have acccording to the bible.he did not bury them. blessed are ye when men shall presecute ye for my names sake. just like mjackson been prosecuted, jesus to was acused of false things as well as prosecuted. now lets lean to his understanding and not to our own but unto god’s.
what if m jackson or his children /family was yours? then what how would you think feel?
June 29th, 2009 at 10:20 am
13 chenier says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Afternoon, o feathered friend!
I hope your good lady and the Bump are prospering, and yes, I had a great holiday, thank you, which was just as well since there followed the joys of the offspring’s finals.
She passed with flying colours…
That’s excellent news and another reason for me to have a rum and ginger
My two are both doing incredibly well. Sam is eating us out of house and home. Anything that resembles a fruit or vegetable is blitzed and eaten like there is no tomorrow. Plus he is still sleeping straight through and smiles all day. Couldn’t have wished for a better situation if I tried xx
June 29th, 2009 at 9:41 am
micheal jackson brought the music to this world that we all enjoy listening to.. He may be gone but his music still lives on, will still be listened to by the people who respected him.. let the king of pop be at peace now.. and for thoses sad people who just want to take the piss out of his life ( get a life..) you all should leave him and his family alone so they can greive for the loss of a fantastic king of pop.. micheal rest in peace.. rest in peace micheal your with the angels now looking down..
June 27th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Even Anorka got it right, you’d think the fanclub would, but then piety overwhelms them
June 27th, 2009 at 1:16 am
Bless, he can’t even spell Michael but he means well
June 27th, 2009 at 1:15 am
Yov’ue convniced me Tarwyn., I aplogise, covney my aplogies to Micheals falimy. RPI MICHEAL
June 27th, 2009 at 12:17 am
You people are such jackasses you are making a mockery of his beautiful life and death. Putting aside his celebrity statue his life has ended you should be glad that you were able to wake up this morning cause it could’ve been you preparing for your damn dirt nap. So instead of ridiculing his death get on your fucking knees and be thankful it wasn’t you. Oh yeah yossarian I’m one of those grief striken email, texting hoes got suck a dead man’s dick not Micheal’s though you wouldn’t be fit enough to stroke his curls, WAS THAT LOUD ENOUGH FOR U. June before you post another comment take a few spelling classes and babygirl 5 months and 30 days is actually 6 months-basic mathematics.
MICHEAL I KNOW YOU GOING INTO HEAVEN SINGING FOR YOUR FATHER.
I LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOU
June 26th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Afternoon, o feathered friend!
I hope your good lady and the Bump are prospering, and yes, I had a great holiday, thank you, which was just as well since there followed the joys of the offspring’s finals.
She passed with flying colours…
June 26th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Well Prince Phillip is bound to be blamed for this unfortunate death at some stage but saying that it could be a lot worse. We could be forced to endure repeated appearances from Paul Burrel name dropping the words “Her Majesty” at every given opportunity.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:49 am
This event has surely put an extremely large spanner in the need to be centre of attention and self publicity works of both Jordan and the Beckhams! May I suggest all three throw themselves off a very high building or bridge thus creating some parity. Surely Max Clifford or Simon Fuller can arrange this?
June 26th, 2009 at 10:51 am
it wasnt a heart attack , he was last seen in a childrens hospital having a stroke
June 26th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I’m saving some joke ammo for when the txt spk grief whores turn up. Where are they? It’s quiet…..too quiet
June 26th, 2009 at 10:18 am
hello Chenier
How are you? Did you have a nice holiday ??
June 26th, 2009 at 10:16 am
And chenier - welcome back, to mourn….
June 26th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Even in his death - he’s entertaining…
June 26th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Oh the thrill of it all…
June 26th, 2009 at 9:30 am
The paramedics on scene with Michael Jackson were reportedly performing cpr in the ambulance, this could be heard from outside…. one was yelling ‘ya gotta be startin something’..while the other was crying ‘beat it…just beat it’…
June 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson?
Ferguson will still be playing Giggs this August
June 26th, 2009 at 9:07 am
They’ve just announced he died of food poisoning.
That’s what you get from eating 12 year old nuts
June 26th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Well there was the release of HiStory shall we be getting HisDeath in time for Xmas.
(I do apologise mentioning Xmas already but we are nearly half way through the year, and its now 5 months and 30 days to do the shopping)