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Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Bernie Ecclestone’s mother-in-law has been kidnapped in Sao Paulo

Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone’s mother-in-law has been kidnapped in Sao Paulo, not far from the race track:

According to Brazilian magazine Veja, Aparecida Schunck, 67, was taken on Friday in the neighbourhood of Interlagos, Sao Paulo with her kidnappers said to be demanding a ransom of 120 million Brazilian reals [£28m].

As sports fans head to Rio for the Olympics, and athletes put their running skills to good use avoiding muggers, jihadis attacks and the Zika virus, we learn that Aparecida is mother to Ecclestone’s current wife Fabiana Flosi, 38.

 

Aparecida Schunk

 

The Mail says the ransom is the largest ever demanded in Brazil. Veja says the criminals requested that payments be made in pounds sterling. (The crooks don’t want euros – in yer face, Juncker!)

Will 85-year-old Bernie pay up?

Will his daughter Tamara Ecclestone forgo another exclusive handbag to see a woman freed from the criminals?

Posted: 26th, July 2016 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mick Jagger and David Bowie perform Dancing In The Street without music

 Happy birthday, Mick Jagger

Happy birthday, Mick Jagger, born on this day 1943. Here is the Rolling Stones singer performing Dancing in The Street with David Bowie.

Posted: 26th, July 2016 | In: Celebrities, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paul Gascoigne is not dead – papers continue to humilate him

Former England footballer Paul Gascoigne has triggered “fears”. The Sun shows a picture of Gazza and says, “There were new fears for Paul Gascoigne last night after he accidentally exposed himself in the street.”

What street? Who was watching or, rather, being exposed to? What did he expose, accidentally?

All will be revealed soon enough.

For now, we’re grateful the Sun is here to help Gascoigne and relay news of his latest humiliation, sorry, suffering to us. To recap: Gazza, as he is known, is not dead. In 2008 the no less caring Daily Star reported beneath the headline “Gazza dead and gone for good”: “FUN-LOVING football legend Paul Gascoigne is ‘dead’, his TV star stepdaughter Bianca revealed last night.”

They were wrong. “The former England star is seriously ill with depression, and Bianca admits his family is powerless to help him,” the Star continued. Gascoigne was not dead then. He remains not dead now.

 

paul gascoigne

 

Today we see a photo of Gascoigne in a dressing gown. A generous black triangle hangs over his crotch. The paper reports:

The football icon heading to buy booze in only a dressing gown stumbled barefooted from his flat with a bent cigarette hanging from his lips. Slurring his words, Gazza, 49, climbed into a taxi before returning with a bottle of gin, cigs and painkillers. As he stepped out of the cab his gown fell open revealing he was naked underneath.

Again, let’s recap: man comes out of his home; a passing photographer takes the trouble to take pictures of him and alert the Sun newspaper; the Sun publishes the pictures in the hope Gascoigne can be helped.

The paper says a photo it published in March of Gazza’s bruised face “made him realise how low he had sunk”. Gascoigne “admitted” this when he appeared on Good Morning Britain (see below). It’s not about gawping at a man with issues and exploiting him to sell pictures and papers. It’s about caring.

Here’s Gascoigne thanking the press on GMB after the Sun published that photo of his face after a “drunken fall”:

 

Posted: 11th, July 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Shining Cuckoo Clock yells ‘Here’s Johnny’ on the hour

The Shining Cuckoo Clock

The Shining Cuckoo Clock

 

Know what time it is with this cuckoo clock in the form of the axe scene from The Shining. On the hour every hour Jack Torrance with menace you with a  “Here’s Johnny!”. For added homeliness, Shelley Duvall’s character will scream her head off.

It’s made by Chris Dimino.

Spotter: DM

Posted: 6th, July 2016 | In: Film, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mind The Bollocks: Richard Branson backs Theresa May to scupper Brexit

The post-Brexit UK was, as the Daily Mirror put it with a front-page photo of a large black hole, a leap into the unknown. Where the Mirror saw danger, chaos and, if the country voted Leave and thereby fell into that hole, death for all, others saw adventure and opportunity. Who embodies the spirt of rosy-fingered dawns over new horizons better than Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin brand and the man who signed the Sex Pistols – those working-class dupe-proof advocates for Anarchy in the UK and a rejection of the tired, old Establishment.

Branson opines axiomatically on his company’s website, “In order to think outside the box, avoid getting into one. There is no need to accept accepted thinking. Remember, it was once accepted that the world was flat.”

 

richard branson brexit

 

There’s more:

“If you don’t let anybody build a box around you, then you will never have to think outside of the box. Basically, in order to think outside the box, avoid getting into one.

“But if you do find yourself getting boxed in, think to yourself: I will only think outside the box when the box is empty. Get everything you can out of a situation, but keep an eye out for the next opportunity.”

The box was the European Union. The vote to get out of it was a vote for a bigger planet view that doesn’t end where the EU border lies. But Branson is scared. He is not eyeing the next opportunity. Sky News reports that this knight of the realm “has held secret talks with Theresa May in an effort to boost his plea for a second referendum on the UK’s membership of the European Union (EU).”

In a blog-post published on 27 June, Sir Richard wrote:

“The vast majority of MPs voted in by the electorate want the UK to stay part of Europe. In light of the misrepresentations of the Leave campaign, Parliament should reject the results of this non-binding referendum as Nicola Sturgeon has announced she will do in Scotland’s Parliament.”

How’s that for thinking outside the box? Ignore the anti-Establishment risk-takers, the people who voted for change, and side with the elite who want to snuff out democracy. ‘Safety-first,’ says box-ticking bureaucratic Branson. Big business must take priority over independence and “screwing it, just doing it”, something he advises we do in one of his “lessons for life”. Richard is now of the “screw you, the multi-nationals and connected are in charge”.

To paraphrase the Sex Pistols, We Do Mind the Bollocks. We voted against it.

Posted: 5th, July 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Money, News, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kerry Katona and Molly McFadden v the Daily Mail

kerry katona daily mail nakedThe Daily Mail has some bad news. “Online trolls” have seen pictures of Kerry Katona’s daughter Molly McFadden and made “cruel taunts”.

For those of you who missed the moment when Kerry and her family went to Thorpe Park, on June 6 the Daily Mail published 21 photos of Kerry and Molly on their family day out. The Mail announced in a headline: “Molly McFadden can’t hide her delight as she enjoys rollercoaster ride at Thorpe Park with her mother.”

Now on June 23, the Mail tells is readers, “It was only on social media that things escalated, with Molly being criticised for her weight and Kerry’s parenting skills called into question.”

Curse that social media for fomenting upset and those “vile” comments. It’s nothing like the, er, online Daily Mail, whereon you can read comments like:

Her daughter is seriously overweight, people get sensitive when it comes to weight and children – but her health is already at risk from a very young age. If anything she should take this as a wake up call. 

Molly shouldn’t be in the papers- Kerry shouldn’t put herself in that position with her family.

A cruel, mean, bullying article very loosely & badly disguised as a ‘fun day out’ article. 

You nasty cruel bunch. Publishing some unflattering images of a young girl, making out the story is all about her having a jolly day out. . Do you all feel better about yourselves now DM ? Having a rubbish Monday and thought you would have a laugh at a 14 year old girls expense ?! That’s plain Nasty

Nice to see her spending time with her daughters. She needs to keep an eye on Molly’s weight though.

Children don’t get to be that size when they’re happy so she’s comfort eating to deal with her issues and the blame for that lies squarely with her mother.

The little girl looks troubled

Those online trolls, eh.

Posted: 23rd, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bruce Forsyth in wife-daughter confusion

Good news for Wilnelia Forsyth, wife of entertainer Sir Bruce Forsyth. In a Daily Mirror story on daughters who looks like wives and vice versa, the paper looks at “celebs’ young partners [who] get mixed up with kids”.

 

BRuce Forsyth daughter

 

Dean Gaffney, 38, famous for being the dog handler who scored a job on EastEnders with the highly talented canine thespian Well ‘Ard, has twin daughters, 19, who look a fair bit like his lover, 23. William Shatner, 85, is married to a 58-year-old and has a daughter also 58. Des O’Connor’s wife is three-years younger than one of his daughters. And Hulk Hogan’s second wife Jennifer, 42, and daughter, 28, are unsettling alike.

 

BRuce Forsyth daughter

 

So what of Brucie’s babes? His wife is 58 and his daughter is 39. The Mirror asks “Can you work out which is which”? Yes. We can. Although Wilnelia will be buoyed that the Mirror’s features editor thinks its a tricky challenge.

 

Posted: 23rd, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Remain v Brexit: what people off the telly said

brexitSick of listening to experts in money, war and politics talking on the EU Referendum? Us too. thankfully, the Daily Star has produced a double-page feature on what non-exerts  have been saying. Not one of these people has bene elected for public office, but they have been on the telly. Some of the quotes are fantastic.

“If it means we can go back to using decent lightbulbs and hairdryers, I’m joining Brexit” – Liz Huley , expert in wearing dresses

“The European Union reminds me of an overpriced, badly run hotel” – Alex Polizzi recommends a new UK with neutral colours and a kettle in every room

“The EU is like a huge rock festival: Everyone has colour-coded passes and there are no wars” – Eddie Izard has never watched The Rolling Stones at Altamont, nor STEPS during the school holidays

And the pick of the bunch:

“Britain is not just stronger in Europe, it is more creative and imaginative” – Benedict Cumberbatch, the actor who made his name as playing the pre EU Sherlock Homles

Posted: 21st, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Laura Carter sex tape is £10,000 a pop

Laura carter sex tapeWho wants to see Laura Carter in an “explicit sex tape”? Well, not any of the 634 people who complained to Ofcom that seeing Carter being felt up in the Big Brother house was too much before the 9pm watershed. Of course, you can watch the sex tape any time you like. A video of Carter being spit roasted / dry roasted by a “Premier League footballer” is “set to go online”, says the Daily Star in its front-page exclusive.

The video is “so hot it already attracted a £10,000 bid”, says the paper. And we turn the page. No self-respecting sex tape star gets into bed or even onto the kitchen table for ten grand. Which is why the Star relegates the scoop to Page 15, where we read that Carter is “unaware a video has been offered for sale for £10,000”.

“This isn’t what she wanted,” says “a pal”. Indeed, one images it is not. Ten grand for a sex tape. It’s as insulting as it is derisory.

Posted: 21st, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Donald Trump gets his head pushed down the toilet (1989)

For the third issue of HUP comic in 1989, cartoonist Robert Crumb turned his eye on real estate tycoon Donald Trump, “one of the most evil men alive”. Crumb despised the 1980s greed he saw embodied in “venal” Trump. In 1991, Crumb left the USA for a Trump-free life in bucolic France.

 

Donald trump head crumb ronald

 

Read it all on flashbak. It’s NSFW.

Posted: 21st, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Eddie Redmayne and Hannah Bagshawe’s baby surprises Daily Star readers

 Eddie Redmayne and his wife Hannah BagshaweNews in the Star that Eddie Redmayne and his wife Hannah Bagshawe are now parents.

The Star is so delighted with the news it illustrates the story with a picture of, er, Donna Air and James Middleton, brother to Pippa and Kate.

Let’s hope their new daughter Iris makes a better job of recognising the proud parents.

 

Posted: 20th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother hit over Laura Carter and Marco Pierre White Jr sex scene

marco white juniorYes! Yes! Yes!!! That’s the sound of channel 5 executives celebrating. Big Brother remains relevant as Ofcom launches an inquiry after contestants Laura Carter and Marco Pierre White Jr groped, grunted, frotted and reached on the Channel 5 show before the 9pm watershed.

Why did Channel 4 reject the show that continues to titillate the great unwashed, allowing it to slip over to Channel 5?

More than 600 people have complained at seeing White, the son of a celebrity chef of the same name, slide his hands down Carte’s knicker – whilst she was wearing them. Who knew that Channel 5 had such a big audience for Big Brother? Of course, we cannot overlook the chance that many of the 634 outraged citizens who called Ofcom to complain work in TV. Moan and groan enough and  – hey, presto! – Big Brother is all over the tabloids.

A spokesperson for Ofcom says: “We’re investigating whether sexual scenes in this episode of Big Brother exceeded generally accepted standards for its time of broadcast.”

If it did it will be tied up and whipped. Yes!

 

Posted: 20th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Sir Clement Freud dug up and beaten with sticks

Clement-Freud mccannMadeleine McCann is back in the news. The Daily Mirror (the self-styled “intelligent tabloid”) wonders if a dead celebrity and MP kidnapped her.

‘Paedophile’ Sir Clement Freud lived close to where Madeleine McCann went missing as police ‘urged to probe link’

Sir Clement Freund, who died in 2009, was a paedophile? The Mirror wants us to consider it. But it’s uncertain if the dead man molested or raped or kidnapped children so it’s placed the word “paedophile” inside inverted commas. How fair is that.

Freud is believed to have sexually abused girls as young as 11, a documentary has claimed, and invited the McCanns to his Portuguese villa after she disappeared

Believed. By whom and why? And – get this – Freud reached out to the McCanns after not before their child vanished.

First up, we can look at who says the dead man did criminal things to innocent children.

Sylvia Woosley, now in her late seventies, said she was repeatedly assaulted by Freud over 60 years ago. A second woman claimed the former star of Radio 4’s Just a Minute panel game raped her aged 18 after years of grooming that included taking her on trips to the House of Commons.

Just a Minute is on the BBC. It’s a hat-trick of the tabloids game of Paedo Hunt for Freud: MP. Tick. BBC employee. Tick. Dead. Tick.

Former Crown Prosecution Service chief Nazir Afzal told the ITV Exposure programme that Freud, who died in 2009 aged 84, would have been charged with child sex offences based on Sylvia’s case if he was still alive.

He said: “I would have no doubt there is sufficient evidence to prosecute Sir Clement Freud.”

What the current CPS chief thinks we are not told. But it’s good to see Afzal finds life after service as TV pundit. Can Sylvia’s claims be tested?

Freud’s widow Jill, now 89, said in response to the film: “This is a very sad day for me. I was married to Clement for 58 years and loved him dearly. I am shocked, deeply saddened and profoundly sorry for what has happened to these women. I sincerely hope they will now have some peace.”

Now back to the paper’s ‘Our Maddie’ news:

‘Paedophile’ Sir Clement Freud had a villa in the resort Madeleine McCann vanished from and befriended her parents in the weeks after she went missing. Detectives investigating the three-year-old’s disappearance from in Praia da Luz, Portugal, in 2007 have been alerted to the revelation and are reportedly expected to assess the new information before deciding if it may be relevant to the inquiry.

Did the McCanns ever visit with Freud?

They were invited to his house twice after Madeleine vanished and kept in contact by phone and email…. Writing about their first meeting – two months after Madeleine vanished – Kate wrote in her book Madeleine: “I’m usually very intimidated by people with brains the size of planets but Clement was incredibly warm, funny and instantly likeable.”

The swine!

He had cooked a watercress and egg salad followed by a chicken and mushroom risotto which was “the best risotto we’ve ever tasted before or since”.

The pig!

He invited them for dinner again in September that year but they cancelled because they had been named arguidos in the investigation. But they did go to his house for drinks later in the evening and he was dressed in a nightshirt watching a cookery show.

The depraved old bast…

Kate wrote of the meeting: “He gave me one of his looks and a giant glass of brandy, and managed to get a smile out of me with his greeting: ‘So, Kate, which of the devout Catholic, alcoholic, depressed, nymphomaniac parts is correct?’ Clement cheered us up with his lugubrious wit, and would continue to do so by email after his return to England,” she added.

The Telegraph has more: “Sir Clement Freud exposed as a paedophile as police urged to probe Madeleine McCann links.”

Exposed? Surely it has been alleged or claimed.

Sir Clement Freud, the former broadcaster and politician, was exposed on Tuesday night as a paedophile who sexually abused girls as young as 10 for decades.

Adding:

Sylvia Woosley said Freud befriended her family in 1948, when he was working at a hotel in the South of France, and started abusing her when she was 10.

Four years later, following a family crisis, her mother asked Freud and his wife Jill if they would look after Mrs Woosley, and she found herself living under the same roof as her abuser, being brought up as a daughter. The abuse continued until she managed to move away when she was 19…

A second woman wishes to remain anonymous. She alleges:

Another woman told ITV that Freud started abusing her in the 1970s, when she was 11, and eventually raped her when she was 18, by which time he was a Liberal MP sharing an office with Cyril Smith, who was also unmasked as a paedophile after his death. The rape was so brutal that his victim bled for a week.

The Telegraph than adds this to the dead man’s history:

With his finger on the capital’s showbiz pulse he helped propel a number of young acts to stardom and later boasted of being the first person to book the now disgraced entertainer, Rolf Harris.

The Sun: “NEW INFORMATION ‘Paedophile’ Sir Clement Freud lived close to where Madeleine McCann went missing – as TV doc makes startling claims”

Startling claims made by TV show. Yes.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 15th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother sex: Marco Pierre White Junior in Slave and Master chef

marco pierrer white junior

 

Did you see the “Big Brother Live Sex Show”? No, us neither. Well, that’s not true. We did see it last year, the year before that and the year before that but this year’s shag we missed. Thankfully, lending onanists a helping hand is the Daily Star, which leads with news of “record complains over soft porn scene”.

Most of those complaints most likely seep from the offices of the Star and BB broadcaster Channel 5, where the moaning and groaning sounds like a episode of Channel 4’s Sex Box, BBC TV’s Versailles, Sky’s Game of Thrones or wherever else viewers can get their prime time aids to masturbation on the magic box. “why can’t we do more porn?” they ask. “Big Brother is tamer than The Archers.”

Daily Star readers and Big Brother watchers demand more than soft porn. They want the proper porn. And on Page 11 they vent their spleens at the antics of Marco Pierre White Junior, an ambulatory comic strip who has been generously given the same name as his famous dad to help readers know who the hell he is. MPW’s leftovers have been engaging in “randy games” with Laura Carter (no, us neither). The TV chef’s son suckled on Laura’s breast and shoved his hand down her shorts. He then tied a belt about a his throat and asked her to whip him into a pink mousseline.

They then “dived under the covers for what appeared to be  full-on sex romp”. Appeared? The Star’s Peter Dyke needs to get up to speed with his porn. If he turns to page 32, he can see the advert and sign up for Television X, a porn channel run by the Daily Star’s owner.

 

Posted: 14th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Game of Thrones: prostitute Saeeda Vorajee plays prostitute Armeca

sahara knite armeca game of thronesSaeeda Vorajee plays a prostitute in Game of Thrones. She is also known as Sahara Knite, claims the Sun. The Mail is excited:

An actress who played a prostitute in Game of Thrones is actually a real-life hooker.. Saeeda Vorajee, 41, starred in the first two series of the hit show as a prostitute called Armeca where she took part in a controversial lesbian sex scene and acted alongside Jerome Flynn.

The Sun does her marketing:

The Sun on Sunday’s reporter was invited to Saeeda’s home in Strood, Kent. She led him to a dimly-lit room where she offered a massage and sex act for £65 or full sex for £900.

The Sun adds: “The Muslim, who has been disowned by her family, advertises herself as a “porn star, masseuse, mistress and session wrestler”.

The reporter’s religion is not stated.

What it all adds up to we can’t be certain. Saeeda wasn’t recruited for her acting abilities alone. She looks great and is versed in seduction and sexual excitement. She is also cheaper than hiring an actor, leaving more of the show’s budget to be spunked on CGI monsters and inventing novel new ways to murder people.

 

Posted: 13th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Mail v Mail Online: Vernon Kay’s vanishing smile

Married Vernon Kay and Tess Daly put on a “show of strength”. The telly twosome “put on a united front as they stepped out for the first time since his latest sexting scandal”. So says the Daily Star.

Kay, the world’s blandest TV presenter, is allegedly “back in contact”, although not literally, with Page 3 stunna Rhian Sugden. There are no allegations the pair have ever met, let alone shagged. Vernon and Rhian’s alleged relationship is all about texting. Whereas we used to get tales of five-time-a-night romps with love rats, tabloid readers now get to read text messages.

Anyhow, This is all news because Kay and Daly were on a night out at Jimmy Carr’s London home. The Sun also spotted Vernon and Tess. They were walking “hand in hand” as they left’s Carr’s house party. They were “all smiles”.

 

vernon kay sex

 

But over in the Mail, the same story is headlined, “The awkward party.” Victoria Ibitoye says, “Daly was not the only one who looked like she would rather be elsewhere”. Daly “looked far from pleased clutching the hand of Vernon Kay”.

 

Tess DAly Rhian

 

But over on the Mail Online, readers enjoy pictures of Daly and Kay over the caption “Going strong: Tess Daly and husband Vernon Kay looked very much a united couple as they held hands while leaving their friend Jimmy Carr’s house party in London on Monday night” and “Smiling: The pair looked extremely happy as they stayed close to one another.”

Was the Mail at two different parties?

Posted: 8th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


No, John Oliver did not give away nearly $15 million of medical debt

john oliver debt

 

John Oliver is the news king of talk telly. But unlike Oprah, he’s not giving  away free cars – he’s burning cash! The host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight is a hero:

“Any idiot can get into it, and I can prove that to you, because I’m an idiot and I started a debt buying company and it was disturbingly easy,” Oliver said. John Oliver forgave nearly $15 million of medical debt with a tap of a giant red button on Sunday night.

 

John Oliver debt

The Indy says it was #15m

 

No. Wrong. It was cracking TV. But he did not do as CNN said he did. He purchased his lot on the secondary market at a huge discount.

Last Week Tonight spent about $50 to create a debt-acquisition company in Mississippi. The corporation’s name is Central Asset Recovery Professionals Inc – also known as Carp. According to Oliver, soon after its creation, Carp was offered a portfolio of medical debt worth $14,922,261.76 at a cost of “less than half a cent on a dollar, which is less than $60,000”.

Not $15m, then. And at $60,000 it was a marketing and PR bargain.

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Money, News, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prophets of Rage tour dates

Take the lead singers of Public Enemy, Cypress Hill and Rage Against the Machine. Put them together. What do you get?

You get an almighty noise, a massive dose of nostalgia and the chance of something extraordinary gelling. All hail, then, the world’s new supergroup Prophets of Rage.

The band played their first gig at Whisky A Go Go last week. And now they’ve revealed their tour dates.

(Plans for other members of Public Enemy, Cypress Hill and Rage Against the Machine to form their own bands are not yet known.)

 

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Hello! | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Vardy takes his Arsenal medical today as fans turn on Rebekah

More on the Jamie Vardy’s £20m move from Leicester City to Arsenal story. ESPN says Vardy will take his Arsenal medical today.

The Sunday Express says the Gunners are fearful that unless they sign Vardy before the Euros they might not sign him at all. But the Sun says Vardy’s mind was made up when he spoke with Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger.

In Italy’s La Gazzetta dello SportLeicester City manager Claudio Ranieri says he is resigned to losing his star striker to Arenal.

Sky hears Arsenal’s Olivier Giroud says he knows Vardy wants to join the Gunners.

The Sunday Times lead with news that Vardy’s wife, Rebekha Vardy, has received nasty messages on twitter. Leicester fans have accused her of instigating her husband’s transfer. She calls one fan “pathetic” and tells others to “calm yourselves down”.
Of course, those same fans can recall Vardy telling them on May 9th:

“There will be names thrown into the hat all summer, but the group of lads we have, winning the league and having Champions League football next season, you hope it keeps everyone together… I am happy here.”

Vardy’s leaving. Leicester fans must wonder who else is looking for pastures new.

 

Posted: 5th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Celebrities, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Top Gear: Chris Evans’ debut by numbers

Facts about the new series of Top Gear are coming thick and thicker. The show’s resident ringmaster, DJ Chris Evans – doesn’t it all look a lot like when Top of The Pops introduced balloons, dancing and par-tee atmosphere ?- tweeted some facts of this own:

The new Top Gear is a hit. OFFICIALLY. 23% audience share. 12% MORE than the opening episode of the last series. These are the FACTS.

Top Gear audience grew throughout the hour. FACT. Won its slot. FACT. Still number one on i Player. FACT. These are THE FACTS folks.

More facts:

The last series, featuring Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, averaged 6.4 million viewers – Guardian

The BBC Two show drew 4.4 million viewers, with a peak of 4.7 million, while the last series hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May bowed out with 5.8 million viewers. – Mirror

The first outing from Evans and LeBlanc failed to reach the lofty heights of five million that the Radio 2 DJ was hoping for and even worse missed out by a fair margin on Jeremy Clarkson ‘s last ever show which scored 5.3million.

Over the last ten years Top Gear has aired, with at least two series per year, the lowest viewing figures Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond had for their opening episode was 4.75million in May 2006. – Mirror

“If we had to guess about the number of viewers we are going to get on Sunday night, you have got to say you would be disappointed if it was under 5 million. Five million-plus would be great, after that it doesn’t matter,” said Evans before the show – Telegraph.

Meanwhile, Top Gear lost its regular title of being Sunday night’s most watched show to Countryfile, which peaked at 5.3million viewers and had an impressive 27% share of viewers. – The Sun

All in all it was TV by committee.

Posted: 31st, May 2016 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Johnny Depp silences bathtub rumours

depp norwich bathtub news

 

Johnny Depp says  – yes! – he did buy a £5,000 bathtub from Stiffkey Bathrooms, in Upper St Giles Street, Norwich, in 2014. Depp took the 1880 French Bateau bath on ornate feet to the USA.

Does he still have it? “We disposed of the thing and everything’s fine,” says Mr Depp. “The thing” and it being now “fine” arouse suspicion that the bath might well have been a problem.

Depp  denied rumours that he was spotted buying spatulas in Bath, Somerset.

The plot thickens…

Posted: 30th, May 2016 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jamie Vardy and ‘brassy’ Becky are no classy Charles and Camilla: a Daily Mail hatchet job

Compare and contrast the Daily Mail’s reporting on Becky Nicholson’s wedding to Leicester City and England footballer Jamie Vardy and Camilla Parker Bowles marriage to Prince Charles.

Alison Boschoff and Andy Dolan write on the Becky-Jamie alliance:

The most brazen WAG of all: Three children by three dads. A fling with Peter Andre. No wonder England football hero Jamie Vardy’s parents won’t be at his wedding…

For Vardy’s mother Lisa and stepfather Phil — who has raised him since he was a baby — will not be there because they do not approve of their son’s choice of wife, a glossy, risque brunette named Becky Nicholson…

So, what’s the problem? Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Becky, who will be gliding down the aisle in a £5,000 traditional white dress, is anything but a blushing bride. For she has not only been married once before as a teenager, but has also gone on to have two children by two other men….

As is perhaps customary when a high-profile footballer makes it official with a WAG, Hello! magazine will be in attendance, with its sizeable chequebook and security retinue…

Since Jamie’s rise to fame she has kept her colourful mouth shut, except when there is a cheque in it for her.

 

jamie vardy hello

In this week’s tawdry Hello! mag – “Prince Harry is a great guy!”

 

Now enjoy “Charles and Camilla: Married at last“. Charles, who may recalls was cheating on his wife, Princess Diana, with married mum-of-two Camilla. Charles once expressed a desire to be Camilla’s tampon. Cheating Charles, heir apparent and with it a defender of the faith and good morals, had a civil ceremony with Cheating Camilla, and then scored a televised Anglican blessing by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, at St George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle. Charles’s parents did not attend the marriage ceremony.

Charles and Camilla were in the ancient surroundings of St George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle, for the service, conducted by the Archbishop of Canterbury in front of more than 700 guests. Earlier they had married in more humble surroundings in the Windsor Register Office, with just 28 guests but without the Queen or the Duke of Edinburgh.

The Duchess of Cornwall changed into a porcelain blue silk dress with hand painted ikat design, hand embroidered with gold thread work, for the blessing of her marriage this afternoon.

The designers’ starting point was the Duchess’s comment that she liked the style of the velvet dress they had designed for her to wear for the gala night at the Royal Opera House…

At the reception, the Duchess wore a court shoe with a soft point toe and a 5.5cm heel in pale grey shot silk…

She carried a small, simple elegant floral bouquet bound with silk from her dress. Auricular flowers in dusty shades of greys and creams with touches of gold had been mixed with clusters of Lily of the Valley both for the scent and the sentiment…

The flowers were cut from English plants later to be grown in the gardens at Highgrove. A sprig of myrtle, representing happy marriage, was sent from a well wisher in Cornwall for the bouquet.

And what colour dress did chaste Camilla wear to that civil wedding to the down-at-heel Prince?

 

Camilla Charles wedding dress

 

Good job Camilla’s not like that Becky. But if she wants to get the “brassy” look, the Mail is here to help her. Below photos of  Becky in her undies – “Blushing bride: Rebekah appeared in a downmarket newspaper modelling ‘wedding lingerie’ (pictured)” – the Mail offers readers the chances to “GET THE LOOK” and “Say ‘I do’ like Becky in bridal lingerie”:

 

BEcky Nicholson wedding

 

It’s not about money, readers. No. It’s about class…

 

Posted: 29th, May 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Royal Family, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Harriet Harman: naked Kim Kardashian is pioneering but topless Page 3 Girls are fodder

kardashana page 3

 

See if you can fathom what it is Harriet Harman, the Labour former deputy leader, is saying. Appearing on ITV morning telly to talk about women’s issues, Harman turned to nudity, celebrity, Page 3, onanism, feminism and narcissism. Yeah, she was talking about naked-to-deadline, sex-tape stunna Kim Kardashian:

“I am an expert on the Kardashians, I have to confess.  I think, if you step back, the overall message that comes out of the Kardashian women is that they are kind of going to make their own decisions, make their own way in the world, they’re not going to be told by anybody what to do.

“They are going to try things differently. If they make mistakes, well, they’ll get up back and try and do it differently. There’s a kind of bravery and pioneering spirit in them.”

Kim’s porn and naked pictures are” brave and pioneering”. Kim’s like Amelia Earhart, albeit with a better airplane.

Now Harriet talked about the Sun and Daily Star’s Page 3 girls, who are mostly not rich:

“I think it’s an issue of control actually, because I get the sense from the Kardashians that they are in control of their own agenda. The thing about Page 3 girls in the Sun is it was male editors producing young girls for the male readers as fodder.”

No male readers ogle Kim Kardashian? No women read the Sun? No Page 3 Girl wanted to pose topless? Male editors get young girls as “fodder” but young Kardashians on TV stations  and Twitter – any men on the board of MTV, Instagram or Twitter? – are empowered and possessed of the pioneering spirit?

What hideous elitist balls.

PS – Rupert Murdoch, why not get Kim Kardashian on Page 3? Admittedly, you’ll have to tell it’s just topless, but if she tones it down a notch, Harman will be even more confused.

Posted: 24th, May 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


J.K. Rowling: Donald Trump’s ‘offensive and bigoted’ comments make us all free

J.K. Rowling was speaking at the PEN America Literary Gala & Free Expression Awards:

Intolerance of alternative viewpoints is spreading to places that make me, a moderate and a liberal, most uncomfortable. Only last year, we saw an online petition to ban Donald Trump from entry to the U.K. It garnered half a million signatures.

Just a moment.

I find almost everything that Mr. Trump says objectionable. I consider him offensive and bigoted. But he has my full support to come to my country and be offensive and bigoted there. His freedom to speak protects my freedom to call him a bigot. His freedom guarantees mine. Unless we take that absolute position without caveats or apologies, we have set foot upon a road with only one destination. If my offended feelings can justify a travel ban on Donald Trump, I have no moral ground on which to argue that those offended by feminism or the fight for transgender rights or universal suffrage should not oppress campaigners for those causes. If you seek the removal of freedoms from an opponent simply on them grounds that they have offended you have crossed the line to stand alongside tyrants who imprison, torture and kill on exactly the same justification.

What she said.

Posted: 18th, May 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0