Britney Spears In Paint Job Horror Ding
BREAKING Britney Spears news in the NOTW. Britney is shopping in a shop. Now read on…
The Womanizer star’s driver got caught up in a bumper bashing episode while the singer was shopping in West Hollywood. You can see the incident on our weekly round-up of the hottest news from Hollywood.
Other news:
Angelina Jolie housekeeper road tests new apron
Jennifer Aniston still not pregnant
Pickled Amy Winehouse sold by the jar
Lily Allen’s Tobacconist lights match…
Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
That Britney Spears Ghalib Sex Tape In Full
READERS may recall the news of the sex tape that Brummie Adnan Ghalib is said to be flogging. Says the former confident of Ms Britney Spears:
“There is no sex tape. I’m extremely upset and taking legal action”.
Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Manchester City And Prince Harry In For Britney Spears Sex Tape
IT’S a Britney Spears sex tape.
Celebrity sex tape enthusiasts who want to see a mother-of-two having sex with an early-middle-aged Brummie can buy the goods for £5m.
What with the credit crunch, though, only the very few can afford to buy the tape, and it is believed it is being offered first to Manchester City, Prince Harry Baseball Cap and George Soros.
Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
What Britney Spears Sounds Like Naked
THIS is what Britney Spears sounds like naked:
Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Terrible TV, Twitterings | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Lohan Challenges K-Ferret To A Boxing Match
OK! Magazine reports that Michael Lohan intends to challenge K-Fed to a boxing match.
Michael tells OK! “Everyone wants me to fight K-fed because he’s a notorious celebrity dad and so am I. It’s for charity.”
Posted: 24th, August 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Lindsay Lohan, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Why Presidential Candidate Paris Hilton Should Not Endorse Obama
JOHN McCain shows a campaign video of Barack Obama and two blonde girls: Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.
Is this dog whistle politics about the black man coming for the white woman? Maybe. More likely it’s just McCain trying to be associated with people more famous than he is.
McCain is 71. Obama turns 47 today. When McCain was 47 the top celebrities – or VIPs as they were then knows – were Dave Kid Jensen, Vanessa Williams and My Little Pony.
Anyhow, Kathy Hilton, Paris’s mum, is upset. So she does what any upset Hollywood mum does and writes an article about just how upset she is and puts it online. Says she:
Posted: 3rd, August 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Britney Spears, Celebrities, John McCain, Paris Hilton, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Barack Obama Is Britney Spears Is Paris Hilton
IF Barack Obama is a celebrity, is he Britney Spears? Is he Paris Hilton?
Does he wear underwear? Does he wear underwear inside - or outside - his trousers?
And if John McCain is a celebrity, which one is he?
Posted: 30th, July 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Britney Spears, Celebrities, John McCain, Paris Hilton, Politicians, Race For The White House, Terrible TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears And Mel Gibson’s SON
“BRIT & MEL GIBSON’S SON!”
So says the National Enquirer on its cover page. What follows is “the shocking truth”.
The truth. You want the truth? You sure you can handle the truth?
Posted: 1st, July 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears In Training For K-Ferret’s Baby
“BRITNEY TO HAVE KEVIN’S BABY,” announces the National Enquirer.
While Anorak’s go ahead knitting department sets about create a frappuccino warmer, an “insider” tells us that Britney “has always wanted kids” and “she’d like all her children to have the same dad.”
Unless Prince William steps forward, that’s a mating call for Kevin Federline.
“That’s why she’s been on such good behaviour,” continues our woman with a turkey baster. “She’s trying to show Kevin she’s healthy enough to be a new mom again.”
Can it be that K-Ferret only mates with women who can run a five minute mile to the pharmacists before closing time, bench press a rack of ribs (with both kinds of sauce) or inhale a cigarette in one drag while playing the Flight of The Bumblebee on their nostril comb?
Posted: 17th, June 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
That Britney Spears Sex Tape: The Brum Rushes
“BRITNEY SEX TAPE DEATH THREAT,” screams the Star’s front-page. It’s the headline that’s got the lot: celebrity, sex and suicide.
Inside and “love rat Adnan Ghalib has received death threats after revelations he planned to sell a sex-tape of Britney Spears”.
Britney is not on tabloid suicide watch, not today.
Says Birmingham-born Ghalib: “I have had many calls about it from all over the world. In light of the constant calls about the sex tape and threats, I’m taking a break from the industry and keeping a low profile.”
What better way of keeping a low profile than telling the media about it and making mention of that SEX TAPE? Answers on the side of loudhailer to the usual address.
But before Ghalib can take showbiz industrial action (one out, get them both out), Star readers learn that he has been “stabbed”.
Posted: 4th, June 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears Sex Tape Confusion
WHILE the demure Sun features kissing on its front page, the Star has a free sex video, featuring Britney Spears.
In this tape, the singer, naked save for a “shocking pink wig”, is seen engaging in a “sizzling two-hour sex romp”.
Relieving news for those of us keen to see a podgy former star and mum-of-two having it off with a Brummie snapper called Adnan Ghalib. The Star says it is he who is, allegedly, planning to sell the tape.
Posted: 20th, May 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears And Mel Gibson’s New Religion
BRITNEY Spears has been to a clinic.
The sun says that after the tip she went go Costa Rica with Mel Gibson. Could the two things be linked? Do you need a jab before spending time with Gibson, and is it something he insists upon?
Spears has tried Kabbalah, the new age religion based on Jewish mysticism. Gibson is a drink-driving ultra Catholic.
Could their meeting mark the birth of a new religion?
Or given Spears’ bulging tum-tum, the birth of something still more terrible..?
Posted: 16th, May 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
That Kevin Federline Britney Spears Phone Sex Tape
GOOD news for the hard of seeing as Britney Spears engages in phone sex with her former husband Mr Kevin Federline, aka K-Ferret.
The Enquirer reports of “titillating chatter, phone calls and Britney’s “soft spot for sex”.
And K-Federline is quite the phone sex stud, being what one source calls “long-winded”. He can “go on forever”.
K-Ferret is a regular orator with call minutes to burn a phone plan that demands action.
Posted: 13th, May 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Rosie O’Donnell Replaces Britney Spears As New Face Of Mentnal Illness
AMERICAN actress and TV presenter Rosie O’Donnell is talking about Britney Spears and mental health on Good Morning America.
She tells one and all: “I have been on anti-depressants since Columbine [the 1999 high school shooting].”
We are all victims.
But what of Britney Spears, did the school shootings trigger her tired and emotional state, or was she rocked by 9/11, Al Gore’s weather film or the last episode of Baywatch?
O’Donnell knows. Says she: “I sort of feel Britney has become the poster child (for mental illness). The kid is very young. She never had a childhood. She never rode a Big Wheel. Rather than put her face on mental illness, or Brooke Shields, who had postpartum depression, use me.”
The job’s yours.
But what about teaming up with Britney and becoming the Bi-Polar Sisters - “Celebrity Madness for the Al Goreans”..?
Posted: 9th, April 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Britney Spears, Celebrities | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears Is A Call Centre PETA
HAVING criticised Britney Spears for wearing fur, PETA, the animal skin obsessives, are offering the jobbing celebrity a pen at their call centre.
Says a human spokesman for dumb animals:
“We might have criticized you in the past for contributing to the dog overpopulation crisis and wearing real fur, but perhaps now that your own crisis has abated, a new day calls for a new relationship, a new outlook, and a new understanding.”
And Britney is ready. Recently she has played a receptionist on a US TV show. And who can forget her work with headsets?
Posted: 1st, April 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jamie Lynn Spears’ German-Jewish Baby
JAMIE Lynn Spears, sister to Britney Spears, is pregnant at 16 to one Casey Aldridge.
On her gift registry, she has a message to her agent, the Three Wise Men and other present bringers: “THANK YOU FOR SUPPRTING US DURING THIS SPECIAL TIME.”
Pedants may well scoff and note that among Jamie’s list of “I wants” is no mention of a spelling book.
There is, however, a “Baby Einstein Neptune Ocean Environment Play Gym”. It’s the toy that connects your baby with its inner randy German-Jewish physicist. And then drowns it.
Posted: 30th, March 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears Plays Blanche NoBra In A Streetcar Named Desire
BRITNEY Spears is to appear on the West End stage - maybe.
Britney Spears has been offered the lead female role in the forthcoming West End production of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire, it has been claimed.
The troubled star — who earlier this week helped CBS sitcom ‘How I Met Your Mother’ achieve its highest ever rating — would be following in the footsteps of actress Vivien Leigh if she decided to play the role of tragic alcoholic Blanche DuBois.
The kindness of strangers - the strangess of kinder eggs…
Posted: 27th, March 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Britney Spears’ Knicker Check
JAMIE SPEARS is father to Britney Spears:
Jamie makes sure to ask Britney if she has underwear on before she goes out.
Brit’s assistant also makes sure she’s wearing a bra and panties, Britney tries to ignore their requests, but her dad is adamant and insists she change if she’s falling out of her top.
How does he know about the knickers?
Posted: 18th, March 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Britney Spears’ £2million Dubai Sand Dance
BRITNEY Spears will now dance for you.
To the Two Million Pound A Pint Bar in Dubai, where Britney Spears is performing an “erotic dance for the Arabs”, or “leering sheikhs”.
The assignment is at the behest of “Pakistani-British immigrant Sheeraz Hasan, who founded Spears-tastic pap-arazzi agency Hollywood.tv with the backing of investors for His Highness of Dubai”.
It was business that came out of an epiphany. Hasan was on his hajj to Mecca. He stopped for a bottle of water. He saw a newspaper. One it was cover of was a picture of Britney.
Posted: 13th, March 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
THIS is a still for a new pop video. But who is the two-dimensional singer?
a) Madonna
b) Britney Spears
c) Debbie Harry
d) Lulu
e) Will Young
Answer after the break…
Posted: 11th, March 2008 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Photojournalism, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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