Danielle Lloyd Puts The Varnish On Irresistible Talent
IS there more than one Danielle Lloyd?
The orangey, non-racist Scouser has Danielle Lloyd has lent her name to a new glamour modelling agency called… Irresistible Talent.
Like a pot of Ronseal the agency does exactly what it says on the tin - its finds talent that is impossible to resist.
Posted: 30th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Italian Virgin For Sale And Danielle Lloyd’s On Offer
SHOWGIRL, mo-del and Big Brother star emeritus Raffella Fico, 20, tells Italian magazine Chi:
“I can’t wait to see who’s going to pull out the money to have me. I don’t know what it’s like to have sex.”
Miss Fico is selling her virginity.
Now over to the UK, where Danille Lloyd is on the Star’s cover page: “DANI LLOYD – She’s naked & wants you.”
Since Danielle swore off footballers, she’s been looking for a new gig. And it might be you. Inside the paper and Danielle is offering Star readers the chance to win a date with here.
Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Money, Strange But True | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd Is Engaged To DJ Ironik’s PR
DANIELLE Lloyd is the Star’s strumpet-in-residence. And ever when there is no news about our Dani, and she’s between chests, you can create some copy.
Here’s the latest news on Dani’s associate DJ Ironick, to whom she is engaged.
The former Celebrity Big Brother contestant quietly began dating DJ Ironik just months ago and the pair wasted no time getting engaged - Daily Mail
Then:
Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd’s Neck Is Long Over Jew
DANIELLE Lloyd has had a new tattoo inked (etched?) down the nape of her orangey-brown neck.
This is “Dani’s Posh new tattoo,” says the Star.
For those of you reading Danielle from the rear, the tattoo spells: “Only god can judge me.”
Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Posh and Becks, Tabloids | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
CELEBRITY news of the day: Danielle Lloyd’s Got Wood
“And the 24-year-old tells us that Playboy boss Hugh Hefner, 83, is such a fan of hers, she’s in talks with him to create her very own version of Hollywood – Daniwood – up in the hills”
- Daily Star, Goss Girls
Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd’s Star Treatment
BIG Brother star emeritus and inflatable footballer’s keepy-uppy toy Danielle Lloyd is in the Daily Star, and LA:
“I’m going to get tattoos of four stars to remember this trip. They’ll represent things like the Hollywood Walk of Fame and the Daily Star – which is the only paper I read.”
Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Brother’s Stephanie McMichael Steals Fame
BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…
“BIG BRUV STEPH IS ATTACKED IN STREET.”
Grim news on the Star’s front page is that “sexy” Stephanie McMichael has been the victim of muggers following a night out in London’s venue of strumpets, Chinawhite.
And no surprise whatsoever to learn that the felons stole her mobile phone. You know, the one with the names of all her celebrity chums on.
“Now the babe fears for the security of her celeb friends as their contact details are stored on her phone.”
How the likes of Keith Harris, Chico and DanLy – “the world’s third best Kylie and Danni Minogue impersonator” – must be hoping that their phones will ring.
Posted: 22nd, August 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, TV & Radio, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Poppa Dumb: Shilpa Greets Jade Goody In India
JADE Goody is to enter the Big Brother house in India, slowing the local that there former colonial overlords have evolved from the stiff-upper-lipped, subjugating and jingoistic ninnies of old to something altogether less pleasant.
Shilpa Shetty, aka Shilpa Poppadom, who encountered Goody The Hoody on Celebrity Big Brother is now retuned to “where she come from”, as Danielle Lloyd advised.
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Jade Goody, TV & Radio, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Gazza 2008: Bianca Gascoigne’s Tribute To Paul
GAZZA 2008 might be over, but the tabloids are still talking about the big summer footy battle, and now its got its first Wag.
Step forward and drop your shorts, Bianca Gascoigne. Says the Star’s front-page headline: “BIANCA – I love dad and he’s doing brilliant.”
Anorak readers versed in the highs and lows of the Gascoigne career, will realise that Bianca’s exposed backside is a tribute to her dad’s dropping of fellow England player Paul Ince’s shorts; her chest might be the same chest Gazza strapped on in his pomp; her over the shoulder look ape’s the filial glance Gazza gave Vinny Jones all those moons ago.
Posted: 11th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd’s Easter Egg Cups
“DANI – Our babe’s opening her eggs early,” says the Star’s front-page headline, words illustrated by Danielle Lloyd in a swimsuit.
Danielle’s fingers are hooked into her bra cups in the manner of the Artful Dodger fingering his braces in readiness for a quick bout of “I’d Do Anything”.
Many words can be used to describe Danielle’s breasts – “unreal”, “box-fresh” and “inflate to 200lbs per square inch” – but Anorak had yet to hear them described as “eggs”.
But eggs are not enough. What kind go eggs are they?
Right Reverend Host: “I’m afraid you’ve got a bad egg, Ms. Shetty!”
The Curate: “Oh no, my Lord, I assure you! Parts of it are excellent!”
Danielle’s breasts might be chocolate eggs, specifically orange Kinder Eggs, which after a light tapping open up to reveal collectable miniatures of footballers Dani has dated.
Collect the full set of three…
Picture: The Spine
Posted: 21st, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd Has A Taxi for Ashley Cole
DANIELLE Lloyd is offering Star readers a “free late–night trip home”?
And what’s more, a cab date with Dani features a free sausage and bacon breakfast bap served on a cardboard hot-plate with a sachet of sauce, as appropriate.
What more do you want after a night out of the raz?
So who’s up for it?
Ah, here comes one likely lad. What’s yer name, son?
“Cole… Ashley Cole…” Budge up, Dani…
Posted: 20th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Shlebs: Jennifer Ellison’s Killer Boobs, Dani’s Dress, Largerfeld’s Anorexia
SHLEBS: Anorak’s look at celebrities making the news
DAILY STAR front page: “SEXY” Jennifer Ellison has “amazing DD boobs”.
So amazing are they that they have been distracting her “randy co-stars”, forcing expensive reshoots of scenes in her latest film.
This is “JEN’S £5M BOOB.”
Says actors Reece Shearsmith: “They are big, probably the best in the business. There is a scene where I am mesmerised with her chest – and she headbutts me and breaks my nose.”
Should Ellison’s false breasts be handed out as a matter of course to all women keen on self-defence?
“She doesn’t give a Dan…”
Danielle Lloyd is in a club. “Bubbly Dani didn’t even seem to care when the zip of her dress slipped down..”
That’ll learn her to wear a dress. She won’t be making that mistake again…
GEMMA Bissix (front page): “BED THE BUILDER”.
Says EastEnders’ Gemma: “I’ve got a bit of a builder fetish. But to be honest I am just attracted to ambition”.
“I hope to be back on Monday to finish the job,” says Gemma’s dreamy guy…
SUN (front page): “Jimmy’s horror at isle link
Human remains are found at a children’s home in Jersey.
Says Sir Jimmy Savile: “For anybody who opens a garden fete 38 years ago for half an hour and ends up with people nudging each other in restaurants and saying, ‘That man’s associated with those murdered children,’ it’s a nasty thing.”
“SWAYZE NEEDS A MIRACLE”
Surely cancer victim Patrick Swayze needs a Ghost of a chance?
KARL Lagerfeld: “Anorexia is nothing to do with fashion. Let’s talk about the 25 per cent of girls who are overweight.”
He can be so catty
Posted: 6th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona’s Migrating Boobs
KERRY Katona writes in her OK! Diary:
“One of the many headlines last week was Kerry: ‘I want my old boobs back’ – well I guess that’s partly true. My boobs used to be alright back in the day, but they’ve gone a bit south now!
To Dubai, on a weekend break with Danielle Lloyd, we’d wager…
Posted: 6th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Kerry Katona, OK! | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Doggy Styling With Danielle Lloyd And Jermain Defoe
CELEBRITY insight of the say: Danielle Lloyd and footballer Jermain Defoe.
The Sun says the Portsmouth striker (Defoe) threw out Ms Lloyd when she suggested they buy a “Paris-Hilton-style handbag mutt”.
The dog in a bag is not the last word in Malaysian fast food, rather a fashion trend in which a small dog in placed within a huge bag.
Should the fashion for massive bags alter to, say, small bags, the likes of Miss Lloyd may have to find smaller dogs, or use their new bags as ear guards for bigger dogs. Such is the way of fashion.
Says an insider: “She wanted to carry it about with them – he told her, ‘it’s over’. It says a lot about his priorities.”
If it says lots in a good way or a bad is not made clear…
Posted: 21st, February 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Danielle Lloyd’s £2million Offer, With Nectar Points
AN advert on the Daily Star’s cover page: “DANI - £2m for my body.”
Might it be that Danielle Lloyd has been forced to pay for her own body, and perhaps unable to meet the bills from sprayologists, nip’n’tuckers and air brush enthusiasts, she is turning to the Star readers for help?
If so, dig deep, Star readers and keep Danielle’s body in the style to which it has become accustomed.
If Danielle cannot pay her bills, she will have to be scrubbed and unstuffed, leaving behind a shell of the woman we know as “Wasn’t she the nasty cow from Big Brother?”
Of course, we may have read the headline wrong. It might be that Danielle is offering her body to Star readers for £2million. In which instance “Trucker Danny” on the M25 wonders if she will accept nectar points.
Over to you, Dani..?
Posted: 16th, February 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Headline Of The Day, On Danielle Lloyd
JERMAIN Defoe is the “grovelling football star” telling mo-del Danielle Lloyd he has never cheated on her.
Things have been said about Jermain’s romantic life. And again.
And the headline: “My J would never do naked handstands.”
Says Danielle, dresed in bubbles and skin Jermain can shave in: “I don’t know why some people would do this to. First us, then poor Cherly and Ashley Cole.”
A lack of class, we imagine…
Posted: 29th, January 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Wags & Players | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
“DANI – I’ll show you my arts,” says Danielle Lloyd on the Star’s cover page.
Danielle hails from Liverpool, which just happens to be Europe’s Capital of Culture (one year only!).
“I’m so proud of my home city – it’s the best in the world,” says Danielle, who spends most of her life in Essex and London.
As for Danielle’ arts, they are manifest in a painting, a vision of orange and orangey-browns daubed onto what passes for her own body in what some reviewers are calling “a paean to Titian” and others “a post modern indictment of the ready-cooked chicken industry”…
Posted: 15th, January 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
How To Get Danielle Lloyd’s Body
DANIELLE Lloyd is on the Star’s front page. She is wearing a pair of knickers with “miow” (Japanese for ‘kick me) writ in diamante across the rear.
She is holding her breasts, which for added security are restrained within a black net.
You can look. But you cannot have. Danielle’s breasts are going nowhere. Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Although Danielle appears concerned and would be well advised to have her chests personalised, perhaps autographed with the legend “Property Of Dani” or sprayed a signature orange.
“DANI – How to have my body in just 7 days,” says the front-page teaser/offers.
Want to know how you can have Danielle’s body? You can buy Danielle’s keep-fit DVD, stand in line at the surgery or become a professional footballer by next Monday…
Posted: 7th, January 2008 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jesus Christ Was A Celebrity: Danielle Lloyd’s Wondering Star
DID Jesus have the X Factor?
No one attracts celebrities like Jesus. And today Star readers spot Danielle Lloyd telling Star readers how she’s going to celebrate the birth of A-lister Jesus Christ.
Dressed as Jesus would have been at the moment of his birth, albeit with a thong and fluffy hat to keep out the chill (it’s a lot warmer in Bethlehem, folks), Danielle says she is seeing her footballer on Christmas Day.
Lloyd tells us that the OK! Christmas party was “great”. But she won’t be eating too much over Christmas, even if gravy can stain your skin a light browny orange. Danielle has a fitness DVD coming out.
Keep fit with Danny by pulling on a G-string, standing in a chilly photographer’s studio and flapping your arms about, dashing along a pavement to Messers Nip ‘n’ Tuck’s offices, and chasing footballer’s cars…
Amen
Posted: 20th, December 2007 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids, Wags & Players | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Work Out Who Was Missing From Danielle Lloyd’s Party
EVERYONE who was anyone and wanted to be there was at Danielle Lloyd’s birthday party, a Tarts and Pimps do “to celebrate her 24th year of sauciness”.
While Anorak readers wonder at how wrong it is call a two or three-year-old saucy, Danielle squashes on her birthday suit, with additional tailoring by Messer Nip ‘n’ Tuck and a black basque.
It has all the making of a terrific night. Danielle poses for pictures with three of her guests, the Star’s rent-a-crowd “THE goss” girls, Eeeny, Miney and Mo.
Danielle poses with her current footballer not once but TWICE. Danielle stands before five firemen who won a Daily Star competition.
Danielle’s mum is there. Her footballer’s mum is there. And also there is one of Danielle’s former footballers with a “brunette”.
Lest readers think that this is sum of Danielle’s pals, the Star makes mention of Big Brother’s boil-washed Vanessa Feltz Nikki Grahame.
All that remains is to join the THE goss girls in working out which celebrity “swerved the bash”. And, remember, Nikki Grahame is already there…
Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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