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Includes cinema reviews and trailers for upcoming films. A digest of the best and worst interviews on movies and cinema.

Back from the Dead: The 5 Lamest Horror Movie Monster Resurrections

lame3 300x161 Back from the Dead: The 5 Lamest Horror Movie Monster Resurrections

 

THROUGHOUT cinematic history, our most beloved monsters — from Dracula and The Wolf Man to Freddy Krueger and King Kong — have returned again and again to haunt our nightmares, and our movie screens.

In any horror movie or monster movie sequel, the primary challenge is thus always quite specific: how do we get our beloved monster back after so thoroughly and completely defeating him at the end of the previous movie?  How do we snatch defeat from what seemed like victory?

Some movie franchises have proven cleverer than others at threading this particular needle, finding fresh and inventive ways to get our beloved monsters stalking again.

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Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Through a Glass Darkly: 5 Horror Films and TV Episodes about Mirrors

mirror1 300x123 Through a Glass Darkly: 5 Horror Films and TV Episodes about Mirrors

 

THE painter Pablo Picasso once asked who can see the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter.

Popular horror films and television programs have long highlighted all three possibilities, but focused most intently, perhaps, on the mirror.

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Posted: 15th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The New Noah Is Looking A Bit White – And There’s A Weird Reason For That

PA 19441308 The New Noah Is Looking A Bit White   And Theres A Weird Reason For That

From left, New Zealand actor Russell Crowe and Australian actor Hugh Jackman arrive for the UK Premiere of Noah at a central London cinema, London, Monday, March 31, 2014.

 

PEOPLE have long chuckled about America’s insistence that people from the Middle East are white. Apart from present day Middle Eastern people of course. They HATE those guys.

We’re talking about the meme that got out of hand. European artists painted Jesus as a white guy and everyone cleverly ignored the fact that he would have at least been olive-skinned, or even darker. He definitely wasn’t some white guy with fair hair and a neat beard who looked like he might be the road manager for Creedence Clearwater Revival.

So too, the rest of The Bible’s important figures found themselves being whitened, in modern American depictions especially. And so, to Noah, who just happens to be the subject of a new film and, unsurprisingly, he’s played by a white guy; Russell Crowe.

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Posted: 15th, April 2014 | In: Film, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I Was G-Man Jerry Cotton: When Hedy Lamarr Performed The First On-Screen Orgasm And Jane Powell Grew Up

SO. What does the music for a 1965 West German movie about a New York FBI agent sound like? That question to you, special agent Jerry Cotton, hero of Operation 100 Dollar Gang.

Cotton was played by US actor and all-round beefcake George Nader. You may know him from his 1958 melodrama The Female Animal, starring 1940s sex symbol Hedy Lamarr and actress-singer Jane Powell, pictured below taking advantage of the warm California winter to relax at pool side on Jan. 16, 1958.

 

PA 8604004 I Was G Man Jerry Cotton: When Hedy Lamarr Performed The First On Screen Orgasm And Jane Powell Grew Up

 

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Posted: 12th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch Jean-Pierre Léaud’s Fantastic Audition for The 400 Blows In 1958

the 400 blows Watch Jean Pierre Léauds Fantastic Audition for The 400 Blows In 1958

FRENCH cinema’s intense The 400 Blows (Les Quatre cents coups – the French title comes from the idiom, faire les quatre cents coups—“to raise hell”) features a fantastic performance from Jean-Pierre Léaud as the delinquent adolescent Antoine Doinel. For anyone who has not seen this spellbinding 1959 film, here’s an outline of the story from Criterion:

François Truffaut’s first feature is also his most personal. Told through the eyes of Truffaut’s cinematic counterpart, Antoine Doinel (Jean-Pierre Léaud), The 400 Blows sensitively re-creates the trials of Truffaut’s own childhood, unsentimentally portraying aloof parents, oppressive teachers, and petty crime. The film marked Truffaut’s passage from leading critic to trailblazing auteur of the French New Wave.

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Posted: 10th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Five Most Shocking Death Scenes Of The ALIEN Franchise

shock4 300x133 The Five Most Shocking Death Scenes Of The ALIEN Franchise

 

FOUR movies strong, and spanning three decades (the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s), the cinematic Alien saga — consisting of Alien (1979), Aliens (1986), Alien 3 (1992) and Alien Resurrection (1997) — is renowned for its titular creature, one of the most terrifying silver screen boogeymen of all time.

Given the nature of this franchise’s hostile (and perfect?) monster, it’s no surprise that the death scenes featured throughout the saga are frequently terrifying, bloody, and brilliantly-orchestrated.

Yet the truly memorable death scenes possess another quality as well. They’re shocking. These scenes strike with a combination of terror, disgust, sorrow, and surprise, leaving a permanent imprint on the viewer’s mind.

For a death scene to be considered shocking, it must be one that the audience can’t  see coming.  In other words, we expect that Colonial Marines fighting aliens by the pack are going to die, or that confused convicts running from a monster in a dark corridor will come to a bad end.

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Posted: 10th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Vital History of Captain America at the Movies and on TV

Scan0164 228x300 A Vital History of Captain America at the Movies and on TV

 

WITH Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) shattering box office records this weekend, it is an opportune time to recall that this iconic Marvel superhero — and symbol of non-ironic Americana — has not always been treated very well by Hollywood.

In particular, the 1970s and 1980s proved a difficult span for the patriotic Cap, who had made a career in his Marvel comic-book of smashing Nazis and communists.

 

captainamerica11 300x207 A Vital History of Captain America at the Movies and on TV

 

But first, the 1944 Republic serial, Captain America, created a new character and origin for the superhero.

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Posted: 9th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Eegah! 10 Amazingly Bad Movie Titles

WHAT’S the worst movie title of all time? Freddy Got Fingered (2001) and Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot (1992) are often cited as contenders. One that nearly earned a victory for worst is Denzel Washington’s The Great Debaters (2007) – an immensely serious film which very nearly is The Master Debaters. Close but no cigar. The unpronounceable film The Rural Juror could have walked away with an easy victory. Alas, it’s a fictitious film from the TV show 30 Rock. Disqualified.

Perhaps, it’s best to look back a few decades. It may not be possible to scientifically lay out the all-time worst, but we can certainly make like Freddy and Finger a few candidates.

 

10. Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)

 

children shouldnt play with dead things xlg Eegah! 10 Amazingly Bad Movie Titles

 

Sometimes a title is just trying to be get our attention by its ridiculousness [i.e. I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990). For low budget films without a lot of financial resources for promotion, the best way to lure audiences is via a sensational title. So, I understand the rationale, and am sure it served its purpose; however, the title is still horrible. Functional, but horrible.

 

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Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Goonies Are To Return… Which No-One Really Wants

PA 4952057 1 The Goonies Are To Return... Which No One Really Wants

The house shown in this photo taken May 24, 2001, in Astoria, Ore., was used in the Steven Spielberg film “The Goonies.” Nearly 17 years after the 1985 release, the home where the main characters live in Astoria still draws dozens of Goonie fans every week, and hundreds of people per month during the summer from around the world. (AP Photo/Stepanie Firth)

 

NOSTALGIA is a wonderful thing, provided you keep it where it is. 30somethings who have gone back to watch old cartoons they loved as kids are often found sobbing, depressed lumps sat in waterless baths, feeling cheated and hurt, like they’d summoned up a repressed abuse at the hands of school bullies.

Of course, some things stand the test of time, if you don’t pick at it. The Mysterious Cities of Gold is still oddly deep and perfect, but a redux of it would be like taking a great shit on the one meal that reminds you of the glory of your childhood.

And now, the director of The Goonies, Richard Donner, has said a sequel to The Goonies is in the works.

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Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dear Christians: Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Complain About Noah

PA 19440540 Dear Christians: Heres Why You Shouldnt Complain About Noah

Russell Crowe arriving for the premiere of the film Noah held at the Odeon Leicester Square, central London.

 

THE new film about Noah, starring Russell Crowe, has been causing a lot of grief among certain religious types. Of course, most religious people have a faith strong enough to brush off some poxy film, but we’re looking at those shrieking mentals who can’t stay calm or, it seems, apply logic to a situation.

The film tells the famous story about Noah and his ark. God gets wrathful and sends a flood which is destined to wipe everything out. Destroying everything in a flood seems a bit snide, but as we all know, God is a vengeful so-and-so. And presumably, floating and water-breathing creatures weren’t at all bothered by this, to which we glean that God has no problem with ducks or fish. They’re the most saintly animals, obviously.

However, there’s a few Christians that are not at all happy with a Biblical tale being shown on the big screen. Instead of being happy that the word of God is being distributed worldwide, coupled with a very famous actor, they are furious.

Why?

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Posted: 3rd, April 2014 | In: Film, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


5 Sci-Fi Movies That Didn’t Deserve the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Treatment

april6 300x198 5 Sci Fi Movies That Didnt Deserve the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Treatment

 

TO the delight of virtually everyone, the late, great Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988 – 1999) seems to be experiencing something of a pop culture resurgence these days.

April 1st  of this year saw former Mystery Science Theater 3000 stars Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy return to top form in National Geographic’s Total Riff-Off, and the cable network Retro TV recently announced that it will begin airing MST-3K reruns starting July 5, 2014.

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Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


1970: Kate O’Mara And Keith Prowse Horror of Frankenstein Playing Cards

YOU can buy Horror of Frankenstein playing cards, reliving the  Hammer House of Horror 1970 blood and babes fest in the comfort of your own game of Patience.

 

 

Screen shot 2014 03 31 at 18.47.56 1970: Kate OMara And Keith Prowse Horror of Frankenstein Playing Cards

 

 

There are cards featuring the late Hammer House of Horror sex symbol Kate O’Mara and ’Green Cross Caode Man’ / ‘Darth Vader’ Keith Prowse.

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Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s

WITH nearly 3 million films in their database, it’s quite a dubious accomplishment to be ranked in IMDb’s Bottom 100. That’s the bottom of a very deep barrel – the bottom 0.003% in fact. I’d love to explore all the members of this exclusive club; but, in the interest of time we’ll start with the 1960s.

The 2000s are the most represented decade with over 40 films in the Bottom 100. At the moment there are 12 from the Sixties: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961), The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964) and these 9 truly awful films (proceed at your own risk):

 

Monstrosity (1963) AKA The Atomic Brain
IMDb rating = 2.5

 

monstrosity poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s

An elderly woman hires a mad scientist to transplant her brain into that of a nubile young au pair girl. Somehow this is done without surgery using only the mysteries of radiation. The only way this film could get any worse would be if it starred Adam Sandler.

“Mrs. March had not realized her future body had such a satisfactory shape. Perhaps not as spectacular as the English girl but in excellent taste. She couldn’t help being amused. The stupid girl was not only modeling Mrs. March’s future wardrobe but Mrs. March’s future body: so firm, so nicely round in places men like.”

As luck would have it, some of these films have fallen into public domain, and now you can watch the whole thing for free (the only price you’ll pay is your sanity).

 

 

 

Monster a-Go Go (1965)
IMDb rating = 2.5

 

monster a go go poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
The movie begins with the narration: “What you are about to see may not even be possible, within the narrow limits of human understanding.” Oh, how painfully true.

This is the only film in this entire list that defies description because there is literally no plot. It is one random scene after another, with main characters inexplicably leaving midway through the film never to return, and with a twist ending that even M. Night Shyamalan would be ashamed of.

 

 

 

The Starfighters (1964)
IMDb rating = 2.4

 

4tftTbbl4O4QvS3gXAF5YTeoNtK Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
There’s a miserable little plot in here somewhere, but this film is basically just stock footage of aircraft lazily pieced together. In fact, there are several – I repeat, SEVERAL – scenes of airplanes refueling… in real time, without edit. It may not have earned the honor of being IMDb’s absolute worst, but it is likely the most boring film in the entire database. When a plane refueling is the highlight of your film, there’s a problem.

For wondrous refueling footage, watch the clip below, but beware of the mind-numbingly infectious “Doo Wah” background music.

 

 

 

Body in the Web (1960) AKA Horrors of Spider Island
IMDb rating = 2.3

 

horrors of spider island poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s

 

“There’s absolutely no reason yet to fear the worst. Until now, we only know that the plane caught fire and we’ve lost radio contact.”

I appreciate his optimism, but that seems like bad news. Indeed, the plane crashes and a troupe of beautiful dancers are stranded on a deserted island. Their routine of skinny-dipping and devising new skimpy outfits is interrupted when a radioactive spider bites their manager and turns him into the dumbest looking monster ever. Recommended for the vision and hearing impaired only.

 

 

 

Eegah (1962)
IMDb rating = 2.1

 

eegah poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
There’s a serious debate in the film community about whether Arch Hall, Jr. is the worst male lead in the history of cinema. In other words, of the approximately 3,000,000 films in IMDb, the esteemed Arch may officially be counted as the absolute worst. I think Crow from Mystery Science Theater 3000 said it best: “I’ve figured it out. He’s a cyst with teeth and hair.”

 

 

 

Girl in Gold Boots (1968)
IMDb rating = 2.1

 

Girl in Gold Boots 602 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
A girl with a more than passing resemblance to Angelina Jolie goes from waitress to center-stage go-go dancer. Think Showgirls (1995), but with no gratuitous nudity to redeem it. To quote a reviewer on IMDb: ‘This movie is a big, steaming pile of continuity errors and bad acting.” Truer words were never said.

 

 

 

The Wild World of Batwoman (1966)
IMDb rating = 2.1

 

Batwoman 1966 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
The IMDb synopsis pretty much covers it:

A busty Batwoman enlists her beauteous bevy of Batgirls (when they are not dancing the jerk) to help her regain a mad scientist’s invention (an atom bomb made out of a hearing aid) before a costumed ne’er-do-well, Rat Fink, can glom onto it for his own purposes.

 

 

 

Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)
IMDb rating = 2.0

 

Invasion of the Neptune Men 1961 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
Again,IMDb explains it best:

A bunch of kids who look like rejects from the Japanese version of ‘Lord of the Flies’ run around while aliens (from Neptune, presumably) blow up stock footage, including a building with a giant mural of Adolf Hitler. After much technobabble and shots of radar displays, they are defeated by a wispy bachelor named Space Chief who has a wobbly flying car.

 

 

 

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
IMDb rating = 1.9

 

SC 03 ManosRestoration PremiereAd Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
A family gets lost and winds up staying with this creepy midget, Torgo, and his caped master who worships the deity Manos. Like most people who’ve seen this film, I came by it via Mystery Science Theater 3000. The plot itself is terrible, but what makes this rock bottom is an almost preternaturally awful execution.

 

Posted: 28th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


First look at the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer

PA 4489981 First look at the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer

Voice actors, from top left, Mikey Kelley, James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North and Mitchell Whitfield pose behind their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters, from left, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello, as they arrive at the premiere of the Warner Bros. feature “TMNT,” the latest installment of the Teenage Mutant Turtles saga, at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles Saturday, March 17, 2007.

 

ONCE upon a time, we had the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles on British TV because on these shores, everyone is far too chicken to use the word ‘ninja’. Mercifully, times have changed and now, we’re all set for a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.

And the new trailer for it has been released.

Of course, there’s only one man childish enough to have fun make a TMNT film, and that’s Michael Bay, who also rummaged through the toybox in his mind to direct the Transformers films.

So how are Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo looking?

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Posted: 27th, March 2014 | In: Film, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


5 Movie Maniacs From The 1980s That Wanted To Be Freddy Krueger

throne8 300x224 5 Movie Maniacs From The 1980s That Wanted To Be Freddy Krueger

 

 

THERE’S an old saying that goes: “if you’re going to take a shot at the king, make sure you don’t miss.”

Such words of wisdom also apply to the movie monsters of the 1980s.

Thirty years ago, in 1984, Wes Craven’s “bastard son of a hundred maniacs,” Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) rose up to become the reigning king of the horror film with the theatrical release of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  The Gloved One took New Line — “The House That Freddy Built” — straight to the top with him.

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Posted: 27th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bread and Circuses at the Movies: The Six Most Savage Games of the Near Dystopian Future

games6 300x166 Bread and Circuses at the Movies: The Six Most Savage Games of the Near Dystopian Future

 

IN Ancient Rome, the poet Juvenal coined the term “bread and circuses” (panem et circenses), and to his credit, it is one that remains pertinent to this day, especially in our  21st century pop culture and entertainment.

Specifically, the idea of “bread and circuses” involves an artificial means by which the government or ruling class of a nation distracts or appeases “the common man.”  In Rome, for example gladiatorial games in the Colosseum fit the bill, distracting and diverting people from significant issues such as poverty, war, and corruption.

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Posted: 25th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch 1955 Burlesque Film Teaserama, Featuring Bettie Page The Girls ‘Who Strip To Please’

Teaserama Watch 1955 Burlesque Film Teaserama, Featuring Bettie Page The Girls Who Strip To Please

 

IN 1955,  Teaserama featured American stars of burlesque working the stage.

 

 Watch 1955 Burlesque Film Teaserama, Featuring Bettie Page The Girls Who Strip To Please

 

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Posted: 23rd, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


We Used to Be Friends: Five Reasons Why the Veronica Mars Movie is Much More than “Fan Service”

vm1 300x169 We Used to Be Friends: Five Reasons Why the Veronica Mars Movie is Much More than Fan Service

 

HERE’S a challenge for the intrepid researcher: Go to Google and search for five or so reviews of the Veronica Mars (2014) movie from the mainstream press that don’t include the following term: “fan service.”

For the uninitiated in such things, fan service is a descriptor widely understood to mean the act of “giving the fans exactly what they want,” and for some reason, it is being applied to Veronica Mars on a remarkably consistent, nay universal basis.

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Posted: 20th, March 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pat Robertson’s Fever Dream: Four Times When Horror Movies Met The Devil’s Own Rock-and-Roll Music In The 1980s

PA 14502104 Pat Robertsons Fever Dream: Four Times When Horror Movies Met The Devils Own Rock and Roll Music In The 1980s

 

JUST last week, the 700 Club’s Pat Robertson spoke out about the hidden scourge of our modern society: those demons from Hell who like to crash your car.

Yes, it turns out that devils can cause really horrible road accidents because — by merely watching horror movies — you have “granted them permission” to do so.

You know who you are…

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Posted: 19th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Most Awful Ending To A Porn Film Ever

YOU would think porn was all about happy endings.  But you’d be wrong. We’re talking not about the crushing sense of worthlessness after you’ve spent the day searching online for just the right image or scene. We’re talking about the film School Girl Internal, starring Mario Cassini and Brooke Whispers.

The closing scene ends like this:

dark ending to porn film The Most Awful Ending To A Porn Film Ever

It reads like a Public Awareness Announcement to teenaged women.

Maybe it’s not awful. Maybe it’s thoughtful…

Spotter: Reddit

Posted: 19th, March 2014 | In: Film | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Three Generations Of Schulz Unite To Create A Peanuts Movie As Disappointing As All The Others


SNOOPY is back. The best cartoon do of them all is to star in a new Peanuts movie, coming to a screen near you on November 6, 2015.

That’s the good news?

Do you flinch a little when you learn that it’s produced by Charles Schulz’s son Craig Schulz and the screenplay has been co-written by his son Bryan Schulz?

 

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Posted: 18th, March 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Greatest Voice in Hollywood, Hal Douglas, RIP

hal douglas rip The Greatest Voice in Hollywood, Hal Douglas, RIP

 

 

IT doesn’t matter who you are in Hollywood, fact is, you owe something to Hal Douglas.

You may not know who Hal Douglas is. He’s not exactly a household name, and sadly Douglas has just passed away, aged 89. However, we should pay tribute to Hal because he is the most legendary voice-over artist in Hollywood.

Douglas’ distinct delivery featured in thousands of trailers.

 

 

Douglas was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2010 and died with his family by his side. He took with him a remarkable, unmistakable, rich baritone which could go from epic and theatrical, to campy and over the top.

He broke from the booth to star in the trailer, with his face, in the Jerry Seinfeld film The Comedian, where he poked fun at his own work and appeared on-screen for the first time in his 40 year career.

 

 

One of Hollywood’s true, true greats has left us and, should you feel the need to pay your respects to Hal Douglas, you can do so at http://www.ilasting.com/haldouglas.php

Posted: 14th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0