Anorak

OK! | Anorak

OK! Category

OK! magazine’s weekly look at celebrity, featuring you know who, what’s his name and her from EastEnders

Kerry Katona Is Over The Moon And On The Leash

KERRY Katona is on the front of OK! magazine walking a tiger on a leash. In her hand she holds a and small dog. Only the leash is not about the Tiger’s neck, which suggests photoshop or else Kerry is in danger. The dog might be less a pet than a morsel.

Inside OK! and Kerry is lying on a table surrounded by three glum-faced men in black suits. Is she about to be undressed and covered in Iceland frozen squirrels? Or is she dead?

We never find out, because Kerry just wants to tells us about her OK! column. She is “over the moon to be back!”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Chantelle Tagoe Is The World Cup WAG Of The Week – With Added Orphans

CHANTELLE Tagoe. Who she? Well, this Chantelle is a WAG, soon-to-be-wife of Emile Heskey, the big lad up England’s front. And, as OK! says, “she’s more than a privileged clothes horse with time on her hands”.

More? Is there more? Don’t tell us she’s a great shag and loves spa days and walks in the rain as well. Be still our beating hearts.

Chantelle says that she might not see Emile after the World Cup matches because: “If Capello’s formula is working, I don’t want to disrupt it.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (4)


Tom Cruise Understands Why The World Is ‘Fascinated’ By Suri Cruise: Pictures

OK! catches up with Tom Cruis, father to paparazzi-living Suri Cruise:

OK!: Can you believe that Suri has been named one of the most influential children in the world.

Tom Cruise: “I certainly can. Everyone is absolutely fascinated by her.”

It’s the influence. If you catch her gaze, you cannot help but be influenced. Obey. Obey. Obey. Enough to Suri and her custom made Christian Louboutin shoes.

Along with having over 100 pairs of shoes… 4-year-old Suri proves again she can keep up with adult trends—this time with her very own iPad.”

And he love’s David Beckham’s solid body:

“He’s got a great competitive spirit and he’s a tireless worker with a clear mind and a solid body.”

How does Tom keep his feet on the ground? Given his Scientology belief system, this might be ironic:

“I have never let my ego grow – I’m aware that I’m just an actor”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (2)


In OK! John Terry Runs Non-Suicide Toni Terry A Bath, Privately

IN this week’s OK!, Toni Terry, wife to loyal England footballer John Terry, wants to talk about her amazing life with JT.

If ten other England players get caught shagging their best mate’s lover or a glamour model in their car, allegedly, JT may yet be in the running for the job of England skipper.

Alicia Douvall (NSFW)

Right now it’s all eyes on Toni, who wants to tell us about her “quiet life”. OK! says “all manner of folk” have been “poking their noses” into Toni’s private life. It’s just not on.

John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comment (1)


Kerry Katona And Peter Andre’s One Night Stand

KERRY Katona and Peter Andre are not together. The Daily Star printed an apology in its papers telling readers that Peter Andre and Kerry Katona were not together, having seen the OK! cover of them together, heard of the “love”, of Pete being Kerry’s “sweetheart” and more and jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

Sure, they share an agent and a complexion, but they are not lovers. No way.

So to this week’s OK! cover which features Peter Andre talking “FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT HIS ONE-NIGHT STAND” –

“’Kerry’s lovely but I’m glad she’s now met a man.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 2nd, June 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Chanelle Hayes And Jack Tweed Interview: And Baby Makes 2

JACK Tweed and Chantelle Hayes are “The World’s Most Shocking Celebrity Couple”. Yes, they are a celebrity couple, but are they shocking? Anorak took the OK! cover to the streets and asked people if they were shocked that a jobbing Mr Jade Goody and a Big Brother strumpet were together?

Big Brother: Victoria Beckham Lookalike Chanelle Hayes Overdoses

The most popular words offered in reply were:

“Who?”; “No”; “Osama bin Laden is shagging Ronan Keating?!”; “Couple of what?”; “Ok, £50 quid and I’ll give you a signed photo Prince Andrew in his panties”; and “Why read OK! when you can read Anorak?” (shucks, thanks).

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 25th, May 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


All Aboard Cliff Parisi’s EastEnders’ Wedding Bus

CLIFF Parisi is marrying a woman on the cover of OK! magazine. Cliff, who plays idiotic mechanic Minty on EastEnders, is pictured pulling clownish smile in the manner of the Great Stupendo on a bouncy castle.

Cliff may well have fallen victim to Soap Syndrome, whereby the actor becomes indistinguishable from the character that led him up fame’s sticky pole. OK! is happy to indulge the confusion between fact and fiction by telling of a “POLICE DRAMA” at the “EAST END BASH”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 25th, May 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Alex Curran And Steven Gerrard Open Their Hearts And Their Restaurant

ANY lingering doubts that Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran are heading for splitsville are banished in OK!. We meet the Liverpool players and her husband in Gerrard’s new eatery, the Warehouse Kitchen and Bar. Stevie G is now in full control of the music, and Alex is billed as Alex Gerrard. Such is the love.

That would be enough to do-down those internet gossipers who claim a divorce looms. But Alex has more. She says this is the “shabby-chic” venue where Steve took her on their first date.

He liked it so much he bought the place. Alex may well be disappointed that he never took her to Asprey’s. But lasting love is about taking the rough with the smooth.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 11th, May 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


‘Katie Price’ And ‘Kerry Katona’ Come To Blows: Pictures

KATIE Price and Kerry Katona’s “FEUD” has erupted. OK! magazine has the “EXCLUSIVE” news. It also has a cover picture of what seems to be Katie Price sneaking up on a lingerie-clad Katona and raising a fist.

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

Sensational stuff, and it’s no less so when inside the magazine, the same picture is captioned:

“We can’t helps imagining that if former pals Katie and Kerry ever came to blows, it might look something like this.”

These are look-alikes hired to illustrate a story straight from the pages of CAN Associates, the PR firm that used to manage Katie and now looks after Kerry, giong as far as locating Kerry in a Sussex safe house and scoring her tickets to wtch film in a shppping mall.

Kerry Katona (NSFW)

We learn that “Kerry is living Katie’s diamond studded- life” (pass the Vaseline and angle grinder); Katie is being “swept towards celebrity oblivion”; Kerry is “drop-dead gorgeous”; and Katie is “fake” while Kerry is “fab”.

Working out which of Katie or Kerry is the most desirable, talented and genuine harks back to that debate of whether or not Victoria Beckham is posher than Rebecca Loos.

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

Kerry Katona (NSFW)

1148436

Picture 1 of 39

Model Jordan body painted as the Ice Maiden, poses for the media during a photocall in London's Covent Garden today December 6, 1998, where she launched the Swatch Christmas watch Sparkling Life, priced at 55. PA Photos.

Posted: 11th, May 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (3)


Kerry Katona, Cheryl Cole And Katie Price Are A Life In Teasers

THIS week’s OK! leads with pictures of the three mainstays of tabloids gossip: Cheryl Cole, Kerry Katona and Katie Price. All three are given teasers that experience tells us will be lad to stories less genuine than a dodgy dossier.

Kerry Katona says “YES, I AM IN LOVE.”

Kerry Katona (NSFW)

Adding:

PETE’S MY SWEETHEART.”

This can’t be Peter Andre, with whom Kerry was linked in bogus tales of romance that the Daily Star was forced to retract, to Peter’s relief? and Kerry who is “scared of men“?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, May 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Peter Andre In Dubai Kidnap Nightmare Death Plot: Pictures

PETER Andre is in a “DEATH & KIDNAP NIGHTMARE”. Seen on the cover of OK! cradling his kids, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez Junior, pop acorn Pete is all teeth and tan.

We join Peter Andre and Junior Peter and Princess in Dubai. They are at Atlantis, an irony-heavy venue in the fascist kingdom of sand and cement. Pete says that the volcano has left him grounded in the Emirates but in “true British style everyone has been in good spirits”. He’s not joking. But what of those “nightmares”?

Alex Reid Naked (NSFW)

Peter says he is “rejuvenated” “in paradise” with “beautiful people”. Which is a nightmare, right?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Pictures: Katie Price ‘Separated’ From Alex Reid And New Home

KATIE Price beams from the cover of OK!, her little Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball on her knees, and Harvey to one side. Katie’s face is so soft focused she qualifies as a new form of cloud. The headline says: “KATIE AND ALEX – SEPARATED.”

Inside and Katie says she and Alex Reid are “separated” whenever he is working away from her.

We meet Katie inside her new “BRAND NEW” Surrey mansion. Only, it’s not new. It’s old and been done up in flowers and a collection of “huge, new black-and-white prints” of Katie and Alex. There will b a print on the a wall in “every room”. Sleep tight, Junior. Nighty-night Princess. If that’s not their thing, then there are “teddy bear likenesses of Katie and Alex”.

Continues after gallery:

1148436

Picture 1 of 39

Model Jordan body painted as the Ice Maiden, poses for the media during a photocall in London's Covent Garden today December 6, 1998, where she launched the Swatch Christmas watch Sparkling Life, priced at 55. PA Photos.

OK! sits down with Katie and tells her of rumours that she and Alex’s romance is “on the rocks”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, April 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (9)


Amanda Holden On Affairs And Cheryl Cole (Pictures)

AMANDA Holden continues to mistake the love for Susan Boyle, Simon Cowell and Britain’s Got Talent for a sign that we like her. Holden is in OK! magazine under the banner – get this – “nation’s sweetheart”. And “Here Amanda talks to OK! about ‘shallow’ America…” a place you might imagine she feels right at home.

Amanda is talking about Ashley Cole and John Terry and how they have allegedly cheated on their partners. Amanda says Cheryl “must be so heartbroken because you don’t stop loving somebody”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (2)


In Pictures: Katie Price’s “Secret” Wedding To Alex Reid And Swiss Suicide

KATIE Price is planning a “SURPRISE FAMILY WEDDING”. This is the Katie Price who on March 18, 2010, told ITV show This Morning:

“I don’t plan to sell anything to do with us, ‘cos it’s very private.”

This is the Katie Price who has flogged her wedding with Alex Reid to ITV2 for £600,000. This might be why Katie’s wedding, which stars on the cover of OK!, is a “SURPRISE”.

Alex Reid Naked (NSFW)

Inside, and news of the “top-secret bash”. Says Alex:

“We’re not doing it as the whole celebrity thing anyway – this is about us celebrating with our family and friends. We want it to be special to us.”

And special to anyone with a telly or £1.99 to splurge on a copy of OK!. Thankfully, we can help you save your money by reading the news so that you don’t have to.

Katie then tells us that she had post-natal depression – “I can’t wait to get preggy” – was put on anti-depressants, contemplated suicide, went to The Priory and she once had a spot of cancer on a finger and if needs must would live in Switzerland for years as preparation for a lethal injection.

A year in Switzerland and anyone might be ready to end it all. A year with Katie Price and OK! would come with a complementary needle, a pint of Botox and a CD of Peter Andre greatest simpers…

1148436

Picture 1 of 39

Model Jordan body painted as the Ice Maiden, poses for the media during a photocall in London's Covent Garden today December 6, 1998, where she launched the Swatch Christmas watch Sparkling Life, priced at 55. PA Photos.

Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comments (3)


In Love Kerry Katona And Peter Andre Climb Katie Price’s Greasy Pole

PETER Andre and Kerry Katona are together. The Daily Star told us “YES WE LOVE EACH OTHER”. It then told us: “KERRY & PETE’S SECRET LOVE NEST REVEALED”.

The Star’s sister organ, OK!, leads with “PETER AND KERRY”. Readers see sentimental Peter with Princess TenaLadyMe on his shoulders. To his side is Kerry Katona modelling one of her Katonarios as a shoulder throw.

There are:

“INTIMATE DINNER DATES & FAMILY PLANS”

Katie Price career in pictures (NSFW)

There is also a shared management. And pictures of Kerry hugging some flowers like it’s the world’s last kebab and Pete beaming by her side. Says Pete:

“I have always loved Kerry. If you could see her with children, you would know she has a good heart.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comments (16)


In Pictures: Hasn’t Girls Aloud’s Sarah Harding Had A Boob Job?

“WORLD EXCLUSIVE” is the new tabloids’ latest buzz phrase. It’s not an exclusive if it’s not a WORLD EXCLUSIVE, preferably in capitals. This latest WORLD EXCLUSIVE concerns the Girls Aloud blonde Sarah Harding and the world exclusive news:

“HAS SARAH HARDING HAD A BOOB JOB?”

While this gives us and OK! a chance to show pictures of La Harding’s chest, it also encourage our world exclusive:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Girls Aloud: The Skinny On Cheryl Cole And Nadine Coyle’s Feud

GIRLS Aloud singer Nadine Coyle wants to tell OK! readers “THE TRUTH ABOUT MY EATING DISORDER AND FEUD WITH CHERYL”.

It’s not as is Nadine relies on her eating and her famous pal Cheryl Cole to achieve fame.

Last week, we learnt that Coyle was at “war” with Cole and:

“Nadine tries to keep very private and believes that her success will come through her talent and not any kind of media circus that might surround someone’s private life”.

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

This week Nadine is in OK! telling us that Paris Hilton told her “Oh, my God, you’re so cute”, that she’s “great with children”, her mum makes her a fry-up when she goes home to Derry (Nadine lives in LA) and that her lover Jason Bell is “incredible”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comments (2)


The Natalie Cassidy Interview: Pregnancy, EastEnders And Adam Cottrell

EX-EastEnders’s actress Natalie Cassidy would like you to know that she is pregnant. It’s an OK! “WORLD EXCLUSIVE”.

We know Natalie is preggers because on the magazine’s cover she is cradling her tum-tums. This is either: a) evidence of an appendicitis; b) celebrity dieter Natalie trying to hide her weight; c) the actress pointing us towards her growing baby?

Behind Natalie stands Adam Cottrell, billed as “handsome” and “hunky”. Adam’s hands are also on Natalie’s tummy. A quick pull and Natalie’s last meal will pop up and her airwaves will be cleared. But this is no emergency procedure. This is a sign that “we” are pregnant.

Natalie says that we may be shocked at the news because “we haven’t really gone public with our relationship”.

Oh no?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Jennifer Ellison Introduces 92-Hour Brookside Cliff Hanger And Baby Bobby

“THE last time OK! photographed a heavily pregnant Jennifer Ellison it was big drama as he made an emergency hospital dash after she keeled over and began violently vomiting midway through the photo-shoot.”

It turns out Jennifer hadn’t over-syruped (a condition hitherto known to affect OK! readers) but had been food poisoned.

Soon recovered, OK! meets Ellison again, this time after a 92-hour labour – fitting, perhaps, for a girl who used to entertain us on the Brookside omnibus. Here’s Jen:

“The baby’s head got stuck in my pelvis, the pain as excruciating. I was given a shot of diamorphine, but it did nothing. I was in so much pain my body started to shut down.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


Cheryl Cole And Ashley To Reunite For World Cup

CHERYL Cole and Ashley Cole will “be back together by the World Cup”.

Wow, indeed. It’s a branding nightmare for Simon Cowell industries. With Cheryl all set to crack America, will she be Tweedy or Cole on the press releases?

Cheryl Tweedy & Ashley Cole’s Wedding

OK! harks back to 2005, when it met Cheryl and Ashley in their two-storey apartment in North London. In 2006, they married before an audience of thousands as OK! broadcast the splendour. The pictures from the day in which Ashley wore a suit you could shave in and Cheryl knifed a cake were a joy.

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

As for them getting back together for the World Cup… Well, that’s what Gerard Sanderson, says. He’s the man who wrote Cheryl Cole: Her Story. Also Derek Acorah says Cheryl and Ashley will reunite, and he knows Michael Jackson.

OK! goes on to say how much is adores Cheryl and how the mag and the singer formed a kind of partnership of trust. OK! turned down photos of Ashley with Ann Corbitt, and told Cheryl’s reps “so they could investigate the allegation”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (7)


Robbie Williams Sings At The Brits In Pictures With a Li-Lo Called Stevie

robbie-williams4ROBBIE Williams has been on the Brits stag tossing and collects a Lifetime Achievement Award (in his 30s), but before he did so he spared a few words for OK!.

Robbie says the fans were “confused” when he put out Rudebox. Confusion is not the word. The fans were pretty sure what to make of it. It was dire.

To plug his new work, Reality Killed The Video Star, Robbie let’s us know that in LA “it’s sunny most of the time” and “laid-back” (insert picture of rioting here).

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comments (2)


Cheryl Cole Checks Ashley Cole’s Shoes In OK!, In Pictures

7517829CHERYL Cole is on the cover of OK! magazine. “Everybody’s icon” is smiling. Cheryl wants us to know that girls are “ALWAYS THROWING THEMSELVES AT ASHLEY”.

“Lemme at ‘im,” scream these new Suffragettes. “I’ll ‘ave the little so-and-so!”

It turns out that Cheryl means that girls are throwing themselves at Ashley because they want to snog him and have his baybees, tell the papers about shagging him (which they don’t) and having text sex, which is all fingers and thumb – so spot on for adolescents and footballers, allegedly.

OK! caught up with Cheryl in Vienna, where she was one week ago. Cheryl says that she will be supporting Ashley at the World Cup, but only when he plays in “big games”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, February 2010 | In: OK! | Comment


OK! Katie Price Tells Peter Andre She’s Dumping Alex Reid

peter-katie3IN this week’s OK! magazine, Peter Andre, having moved on from Katie Price, tells us that Katie Price “CALLED TO SAY SHE WAS DUMPING ALEX”. That’s Mr Toffee Crisp Alex Reid.

Alex Reid Naked (NSFW)

And this is Peter Andre, being his own man, between tears on the telly and appearing in a TV advert for his milky drinks and soggy biscuits album of love songs, in which of all the snippets to choose, his team go with sentimental Peter warbling “She’s out of my life…

In the magazine and Peter say: “I want Kate to be happy.”

Katie. Jordan. Kate. Katie Price. Katie Andre. Kate Andre. Jordan Reid… It goes on. Each of us have our own call sign for Katie Price. Anorak’s current preference is Tango & Gash. But you can make up your own.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 10th, February 2010 | In: Key Posts, OK! | Comment (1)


This Week In OK!: Gary Barlow’s Wedding, Vinegar, Words And Pictues

2775237IN this week’s OK! – we read it so you don’t have to: we journey “INSIDE The Take That Star’s A-list Party“. Yes, it’s Gary Barlow’s wedding to the lovely Dawn.

Pictures

On the cover, we meet an unshaven Gary cradling his arms about Dawn’s waist in readiness for the “bingo, glitz and chips”.

Starry stuff for Gary who met Dawn when he was a 17-year-old with a dream and she a dancer with a leotard. But it wasn’t to be. Says Gary:

“We did two days of rehearsal and then a video shoot six days later and that was it. We said goodbye and I never saw her again after that.”

Never? So who did you think you were impregnating with three children? Who was it you married in a ceremony in Nevis? And who are you stood alongside as a party to mark ten years of love? As OK! says, this is a party “neither of them will forget in a hurry”. And Dawn must be grateful.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 20th, January 2010 | In: OK! | Comments (6)


Taylor Momsen Is Thinking Of Haiti And Her Record: Pictures

8204747DANNY Glover knows Haiti is Gaia and not the work of Pat Robertson’s God. But what does Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen think of the disaster, she of the panda eyes? OK! manages to track down the starlet and ask her the question everyone has been aching to have answered?

OK! asked if “she’s planning to follow the lead of stars like Wyclef Jean, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who are making high-profile donations and pleas for help”.

Says Taylor:

“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, January 2010 | In: OK! | Comment