Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 155

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Zsa Zsa Gabor And Husband Are Going To Try And Have A Baby (Yeah, Like That’ll Happen)

HAVE you seen Zsa Zsa Gabor lately? If not, let us give it to you bluntly – she’s 94-years-old, is riddled with illness and only has one leg after she got the gangrene cut out of her. Okay? Now, digest …

Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hunting Sly Stallone’s Corduroy Bodysuit With Lisa Vanderpump And Charlie Sheen’s Wreckage

ANORAK’S Woman of The Week is Lisa Vanderpump, who turns out not be a drag act at Rubyz, but a “LA success story” profiled in Hello!.

We meet Vanderpump at her Beverly Hills home, “perched atop one of the

Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Victoria Beckham Choses ‘Unique’ Name For Daughter: Leprechaun Brian Beckham

VICTORIA Beckham is to name her daughter Santa, as in Santa Monica and Santa Claus.

The Sun gets a source to say:

“Posh thinks Santa Beckham has a lovely ring to it and wants something unique.”

Other unique names for …

Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pepsi Drinker Beyonce Knowles Adds Sugar To Michelle Obama’s Anti-Fat Drive

MICHELLE Obama has found a cause. And her cause is to stop you from being fat. Such is the state of freedom in the USA that what you eat and how you move are the business of the First Lady. …

Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hayden Panettiere Chillingly Tells Everyone About Her Dad Making Her Scream As A Child

HAYDEN Panettiere will be required to do a lot of screaming in the new Scream flick, unless of course, she gets bumped off early doors like Drew Barrymore did in the first of the franchise.

And weirdly, she’s decided to …

Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Film | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Blue Invent Turd Pop With Inevitable Eurovision Failure!

BLUE are impressively awful. They make music for people who clearly don’t own a rudimentary ear or functioning brain cell. And making up the numbers in the band are Lee ‘Doesn’t Care About The Victims Of 911’ Ryan, Duncan ‘Looks …

Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


William And Kate: The Film Trailer

PRINCE William and Kate Middleton are now a film trailer. We are now a film trailer.

“Against all odds” the non-black, council-house dwelling minted public school gel met the non-Jewish, non-gay minted public school boy at college and fell in …

Posted: 13th, April 2011 | In: Film | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Katie Price Pulls Out Of London Marathon, Saving Us From Seeing Her Hideously Sweating Everywhere

KATIE Price – or Jordan if you’re from the ’90s – has decided to do us all a massive favour by pulling out of this year’s London Marathon, saving us all from the awful image of her distorted face and …

Posted: 13th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Israeli Prime Minister Hates Justin Bieber Or Something

JUSTIN Bieber has slowly been revealing himself as a little superbrat. An impressive feat seeing as he’s only a matter of minutes old, still dripping in amniotic juices and placental gunk.

Rumour has it that, despite not having grown a …

Posted: 13th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


If The Gay Ricky Gervais Had Aids: A Joe Mott Daily Star Joke

JOE Mott’s column in the Daily Star Sunday features a photo of Ricky Gervais and the line:

Not being bad, but if Ricky Gervais was homosexual, you’d be wondering if he was, you know, ill. His dramatic weight loss has

Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mariah Carey Is Stupid Because She Thinks Her Unborn Twins Have Different Personalities

IT must be slowly dawning on Mariah Carey that she’s not the only person on Earth who has ever had a baby. As each new stretch mark appears on her drum-taut stomach and each haemorrhoid pings like popcorn from her …

Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Vanessa Hudgens Defends Her Skimpy Outfits In Sucker Punch

GOOD lord! Hollywood hasn’t got a history of using women as sex objects in movies… until now that is! See, the shock and scandal is that, in new action flick – Sucker Punch – Vanessa Hudgens and her costars all …

Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Liz Hurley Is The Wicked Queen In Kate Middleton’s Fairytale

LIZ Hurley is happy. We know this because on the cover of Hello! magazine, Liz rests her chin on a fist covered in shiny stones and says:

“I’m happy.”

Above her and to the side is a much larger photo …

Posted: 12th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Thieves Wisely Pawned Off What They Stole From Paris Hilton

THIEVES may not have been very attentive at school but they’re not daft. Think about it – when you’re locked out of your house, instead of finding inventive ways in, you stand there staring at your dying battery symbol with …

Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Coco Pops Sales Plummet As Jedward’s Stupid Faces Adorn Box

COCO Pops are the cereal of the cheeky monkey child. Coco The Monkey has always embodied that vague notion of wacky rebellion, essentially being the spokessimian for those sticking two fingers up at those who say you can’t eat chocolate …

Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Donald Trump’s Hair: A Scientific Study

DONALD Trump’s hair. Is it a ambulatory sign of the perils of making an apricot souffle? Is it a work of engineering marvels? Is it an attempt by Trump to stand out? Does Trump crave to be noticed, in much …

Posted: 9th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kerry Katona Presents A Birth And Cocaine TV Show For Kidz

KERRY Katona wants to clear up why her kidzzzz are in her new TV Show: Super (Market) Mum, aka Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter.

Having presented readers with diary entry entitled “MY RETURN TO MUSIC”, Kerry tells …

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Can Nicola McLean Make Anorexia Sexy? OK! Investigates

NICOLA McLean, a former pneumatic Page 3 has breasts that look even more out of proportion to the rest of her because she has anorexia.

On the cover of OK!, Nicola cradles her naked chest, pulls on a pair …

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fugees To Reform To Remind Us How Few Hits They Actually Had

RUMOURS are floating around some imagined pop ether, noting that the Fugees may be reuniting to peddle out old hits and remind us how irritating Wyclef Jean is, how mental Lauren Hill has become and just who Pras Michel is …

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Charlie Sheen Wants Mila Kunis Whether She Likes It Or Not (Photos)

CHARLIE Sheen, the stumbling, mumbling meme, should enjoy his brief renewal of fame – mainly because it is clearly going to end quickly and painfully. When he was on drugs, he was great fun. Like children round a dead dog, …

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Is This The Sickest Thing Michael Jackson’s Ever Done In London?

MICHAEL Jackson has been spotted hanging a baby from the window of The London’s Premises Studios. Can it be that rehashing old songs has failed to keep Jacko in hush money? Can babies talk?

Having tossed a few pebbles, insults …

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Simon Cowell Turned Down Chance To Watch A Couple Having Sex

IMAGINE the towering gloom and endless pools of unyielding hate that a man must hold within to think that his life was in desperate need of Simon Cowell, perched at the foot of your bed while you have sex with …

Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Are The Stone Roses Going To Ruin Our Year By Reforming?

THE Stone Roses – a band who made one decent LP, followed it up with a collection of odds-and-sods, then bowed out with a sludgy blokerock LP that avowed contrarians defend to the hilt – may be reuniting to pay …

Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jay Z Loses His Mind And Becomes Fan Of Kerry Katona

JAY-Z, for the most part, is a man you can trust. He’s given the world a frightening amount of great hip hop records, shared fine artists like Rihanna via his record label and, of course, he’s married to Beyonce which …

Posted: 6th, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Victoria Beckham Tackles Grief Head-On After Pram Tragedy

OUR world is a frightening and relentlessly cruel place. Each time a decent and talented person like Victoria Beckham tries to take one step forward in this crushing, unloving planet of ours, there’s something unimaginably horrible to make her inconsolable …

Posted: 6th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0