Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Travolta has opted for curtains, the hair-do of 1980s popstars and footballers. If you tussle his hair you can hear the strain of Jason Donovan singing Especially For You.
Kelly Preston (mum) “sailed through her pregnancy with the help of a Scientology course”. She then had a “beautiful quiet birth based on L. Ron Hubbard’s philosophy.”
NICOLE Kidman has denied using Botox. In 2007, she said her forehead and skin were as nature intended. Sure, her face looked like it has been dipped in a resin and buffed on Shane Warne’s crotch, but her kind have never been understood.
She is beautiful. She refuses to let herself go. If she did decline, we’d attack for her that. You see, Kidman has beauty, that thing we have all craved. She must not toss it away. We will not allow it. If she does not maintain her film star looks, we will question her sanity.
WHEN we saw those photos of model Stephanie Seymour and her son, Peter Brandt II (“Designer, Art Collector, Socialite, and Model, and the eldest son of Supermodel Stephanie Seymour and Newsprint Billionare Peter Brant I”) on the beach, we thought she was with her boyfriend.
“I would just like to say that these pictures have been taken completely out of context, my mother and i are very close as she is with all her children. she often hugs and kisses me and my siblings in an manner that is intimate, any mother in the world does the same. that day on the beach we walked around with each other completely aware of the presence of photographers there. We have nothing to hide and with that in mind I would like to say that I am openly gay. At my age my mother and I are almost like friends and I feel open to talk to her about anything (and yes our relationship may be different because of my sexuality).”
He went on to talk of being followed by the paparazzi:
Photographers are more often than not obvious when they are there (If holding a large camera wasnt enough of a giveaway) We just accept that they exist and try to ignore them. We learn to accept that these photos may appear in the media but we do not appreciate speculation on our personal lives and any other hateful uninhibited opinions.
File under: you’re all sick.
Hello!: What’s your personal style?
Ivanka Trump: “Classic and traditional. I gravitate towards a feminine, glamorous aesthetic, a delicate one.”
THAT man in the bowler hat is Glenn Close. She’s playing the eponymous hero in the film Albert Nobbs, And who is Mr Nobbs? Why, he’s the Englishwoman disguised as a man in order to work as a butler in 19th-century Ireland. It’s a tale of Nobbs, knobs and hob-knobs. Here’s Glenn
This news comes with:
“NEVER-SEEN-BEFORE PICTURES FROM THEIR FIRST INTIMATE DATE”
COCO Austin, Anorak’s Woman of the Year 2010 – now for 2011! – continues to show the Sun’s Page 3 and all other organs of tabloid titillation that the web leads the way in matters of the hearts. While the Sun slaps jarring bon mots on economical and ecumenical matters and noble quotes into their speech bubble mouths, causing the women to look vacant and robotic, mere narcissistic reflections of self-aggrandizing male desires, Coco is all woman. Twitter is her medium. She’s more engaging than a toilet at a cystitis convention. Coco speaks for herself. This is her latest work…
MICHAEL Jackson song lyrics: What do you think are the 25 most common words in Michael Jackson’s songs from 1979 to 2009?
Make girl come now
Wanna just love really bad…
HERE’S the trailer for Strongman – a film documentary about Stanless Steel – “The Strongest Man in the World at Bending Steel and Metal”.
He’s the first man since the Cyclops in the 1890’s to legitimately bend coins in his fingers.
DAVID and Victoria Beckham are expecting a fourth child in the summer. The clues were there when rumours reached us that Vicky had been looking at food for two. And it has to be a girl. A mini Posh is what we crave. We need a Juliet, a Santa or a Vida…
The 26-year-old imported Essex girl has been presented with a police caution for theft.
She adds her name to this pantheon of celebrity lifters (alleged):
“I grabbed a few pens and paper from Woolworths and made a dash for the door but the security guard grabbed me.” Go on. “I thought it was all over. I thought the club would drop me. And I was convinced the school would expel me.” And where would Steven be today without GCSEs?
MADONNA auditioned for the hit TV show Fame when she was 21. She failed. Had only she succeed she could now be as famous as Lee Curreri, Valerie Landsburg and Gene Anthony Ray.
Anyhow, here’s Madonna acting. She was, as she ever has been, a terrible actress…
The couple are fighting over custody of their daughter Lucia. She claims he roughed her up to get it up.
He claims she “is endangering Lucia by promoting a ‘smear campaign’ against him”.
THE 2011 People’s Choice Awards in photos: . Bieber was beaten to the Breakout Artist gong by his made-for-PR lover Selena Gomez. he was pipped to the and Male Artist award by Eminem.
BILLY Bragg, the “big-nosed boy from Barking”, is the voice of socialism in Burton Bradstock, west Dorset. Bragg’s home is a grand £1.5 million house by the sea. Singing about working on the line with the common man pays better than actually working on the line.
But all is now happy. Bragg is the target of a hate mail campaign. Person or persons want him out of the village. Bragg blames the Tories, for the “powerless ranting of a bitter individual who is angry that, even in a sleepy village like ours, people reject the politics of racism”.
But all we see is a bloody big house.
NICKI Minaj would like you to know that the photo of her dressed in a fishnet shag suit sticking her fabulous bum out like a Coco Austin theme park ride does not violate Facebook terms. Her fans love it. You might too. But, then, it’s all about the music, isn’t it?
“Music is music, and I’m definitely influenced by Michael Jackson and Boyz II Men and people who were black artists—that’s what I like. But I like their voices and I like how they entertain—it’s not about what color they are.”
GERRY Raffery, lead singer of Stealer’s Wheel, champion of urban rambling down Baker Street has died. He was just 63. RIP. Take it away – this is a great song:
The magazine says Romeo is “frighteningly tuned in”.
There is more.
DID Peter Postlethwaite pick a good day to die? The actor Stephen Spielberg called “the best actor in the world” is front-page news. But in life he was never so lauded. Aldous Huxley and CS Lewis died on the same day as President John Kennedy. Only one of them hogged the headlines.
BLAXPLOITATION films of the 1970s showed black people on the big screen as the stars of the show. The working class characters were larger than life. The films were cheap to make, and with their lurid colours, confused plots, clownish costumes, absurd lines and jarring scene changes they looked it. Jim Brown, Richard Roundtree, Vonetta McGee and Pam Grier (NSFW) were big names in the movies. The women were gorgeous, feisty and sexy. The men were muscular and tough.
You might wonder why the word “exploitation” was used to describe such films as Black Dynamite, Blacular and Shaft. The films starred a black cast. But were they exploitative? No. They gave black stars a chance to perform and entertain. Blacks got to see people who looked like them being something more than a wise maid or a magical fool.
FRANKIE Sandford has been linked to more men than a gay rumour on a prison chain gang. Today, The Saturday’s singer is linked to Manchester City reserve Wayne Bridge. Incredibly, Sandford has not been linked to family man John Terry. So, all is well in football land. Still, the NoTW’s Stephen Moyes manages to narrow his eyes, dim the lights and say that Sandford “bears a striking similarity” to Vanessa Perroncel. She doesn’t.
KATIE Price and her walking Toffee Crisp (Alex Reid) are in sunny foreign climes for “crisis talks”. These are not crisis talks to save the world, not to see how Katie’s neon skin tones compare to actual tans. These are talks save their marriage. Well, so says the NoTw’s Sarah Hajibagheri in her “exclusive”.
JORDAN and Alex Reid have flown to a secret holiday destination for crisis talks to try and save their marriage, the News of the World can reveal.
This secret revelation is illustrated by a portrait-style picture of Jordan and Alex having a snack in a restaurant.