Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
IT’S not too late to buy Darth Vader’s original costume in time for Halloween (2011) or the Christmas party. The Star Wars outfit was made for The Empire Strikes Back in 1980. One small issue – it’s expected to sell for up to £230,000 at Christie’s showroom in South Kensington, London. You might to be a bit more creative. Fetch the toilet role tubes…
TAKE That were at Radio 1 to sell their stuff. And thrill fans with talk of second comeback tour.
The Daily Mail pours it usual bile on the event by looking at Robbie Williams and opining:
With the top of his hair teased into a quiff-style, Robbie appeared to be attempting to hide his silvery locks as he arrived at the studios with Gary Barlow, Mark Owen, Jason Orange and Howard Donald.
Yeah, Because that’s how you hide going grey isn’t – by giving your hair a curl. It’s why self-billed blondes like Doris (79) Old Mr Anorak’s stamp archivist has given her luscious locks a soft curl.
LADY Gaga was at the O2 in Dublin for one leg of The Monster Ball Tour. But we saw her in London, stood outside the Sea Shell Fish Bar in Marylebone. This is the eatery where Michael Jackson once arrived for his battered sausage.
These are very big photos (give them a second or two to download):
KEITH Richards, of the Rolling Stones, says in his memoirs Life that his did snort his dad Bert’s ashes:
“The truth of the matter is that after having Dad’s ashes in a black box for six years, because I really couldn’t bring myself to scatter him to the winds, I finally planted a sturdy English oak to spread him around.
“And as I took the lid off of the box, a fine spray of his ashes blew out on to the table. I couldn’t just brush him off so I wiped my finger over it and snorted the residue.
“Ashes to ashes, father to son. He is now growing oak trees and would love me for it.”
So. Keith inhaled his dad. And Ronnie Wood smoked meringues:
“It got to the point where I would be on my hands and knees looking for crumbs that might have fallen out of the crack pipe. I even banned my children eating meringues in the house after I ended up smoking sugar, believing it to be cocaine.”
NADINE Coyle was once with Girls Aloud. So too was Cheryl Cole. Cheryl is on the X Factor as the nation’s sweetheart.
Nadine is ignored:
BOYZONE’S Mikey Graham is too old to be called Mikey but just about the right point in his career to appear in panto. X Factor judge Louis Walsh met with the Boyzone crooner ahead of their dates for The Gaiety Theatre’s version of Aladdin.
Walsh plays “the master of the world” (that alright with you, Mr Cowell, sir?), while Mikey Graham plays Abanazar and Una Pedreschi becomes Princess Jasmine.
You see a panto – X Factor contestants might see a yearly highlight in their post-show careers…
THE 2010 Q Awards were a swanky affair. We’ve got all the photos of the winners holding their stolen Quaglino’s ashtrays mounted on a small metal beer mat. The bigger the actual trophy the less meaningful the prize, so the saying goes. Polo, for instance has cups with their own postcodes. Football has a small statuette. The Q Awards are thus steeped in significance. Enjoys the photos – picture 4 is brilliant. Ann Widdecombe has joined the Charlatans…
Can Max & Emme save the children – and mum’s career?
The family is on the beach filming a campaign for Gucci.
Mummmm! Daaaaaaaaaad!! We’ll always have the video, right?
The LA Times’ Geoff Boucher will now ruin your day:
Steve Jones, the guitar architect of London punk in its primacy, zipped down Hollywood Boulevard in his shiny white hybrid Toyota, which is customized with a rooftop image of her majesty Queen Elizabeth, a safety pin jutting from her lip. And you thought punk rock was dead.
Weep at your leisure…
KANYE West has produced a 35-minute long video for his new song Runaway. The song is three minutes of dry grunting as Kanye humps his own legs. This followed by 32 minutes of credits in which a lit of people thank Kanye for existing as Kanye says ”yeah” over and over. It’s humbling stuff.
There is also time for Kanye to show off his car, a Lamborghini. It has an accident. Kayne is unscathed. Naturally. He can only be killed by being ignored.
MY Chemical Romance perform at the Hammersmith Apollo in West London. While you were watching the X Factor school of pap…
The New Jersey band played their new single Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na).
In yer face, Cher Lloyd!
So says lip-syncing, auto tuning Cheryl. And, in any case, she had no choice but to talk about herself on the telly:
“I felt like I had to. It had reached a point when things had got so ridiculous – rumours and stories – and people were starting to get this idea I’m somebody I’m not.”
In the Guardian, Cheryl makes a vow:
“I will never talk about my personal life again.”
The interview with Simon Hattenstone has a few highlights:
Today, she still looks a little fragile*. I offer her some of my sweets.
“I’ll have a wine gum,” she says.
“What’s wrong with jelly babies?”
“I don’t like the flour on them. It goes through us.”
On Ashley Cole:
“I know to a lot of people the headlines and the stories they read are like some sick entertainment or soap opera, but it’s my life and I’m really dealing with it.”
That’s her life on the telly, on Piers Morgan’s show. That’s her life as she sells her marriage photos to OK! magazine. That’s her life as she poses for the National Lottery dressed in white with Ashley. Who talked babies. Who told us about her and Ashley’s bath-time fun. Is this a sick soap opera? If so, who provides the scriptwriters with their ideas?
Meaty Pammy – good enough to sink your teeth into (although watch out for the plastic bags) says:
“I decided to do this provocative style because there is so much competition for people’s attention today, so Peta and I wanted to make sure the message couldn’t be ignored… The butcher diagram is the perfect thing to parody, because it allows you to use your own body as a protest tool.”
England is just more free and easy. Sure Lisa, reportedly, asked staff at her mansion to sign a privacy document – an agreement not to talk about their work. One source told the Sun:
“It was like they were being asked to sign the Official Secrets Act. It was way over the top and they felt it was a total infringement of their human rights. “Staff could not speak to their husbands, wives or even their grandchildren about what they did.”
Said Lisa Marie of her family’s move:
“We have found the quality of life so much more enriching and fulfilling. The civility, the culture, the people and its beauty have reawakened me and have smoothed out some of my bleak and jagged views about people and life.”
So. Here’s Lisa Marie on the deep and meaningful Oprah Winfrey show, an interview conducted at here English idyll. Kent is not LA, but you can always bring some over.
The uphill bobsleigh team is being made ready for the winter Olympics.
All we need is a title. And who plays Yonni Barrios?
Your suggestions, please…
MILEY Cyrus is not using her teenage sex appeal to flog records and be famous. MTV (via PopEater) Miley said that she hopes that her new image empowers young women:
It’s just about freeing yourself from anything you think is holding you back. And I think that’s really important, especially for girls, because so many people are told, ‘No, you can’t do something,’ or, ‘You need to be this because mom and dad say that, teachers say this.’
Sounds like the “Can’t Be Tamed” chanteuse is a modern day Betty Friedan!
SELENA Gomez, that home-grown Disney hothouse flower, performed at the HMV Hammersmith Apollo, Hammersmith, London, last night. Gomez is clean, young, perky. She is the tabloid fodder for years to come, a kind of Barbie waiting to be burnt…
THE MOBO Awards 2010 backstage photos show Billy Ocean looking like he’s risen from the sea with a Trident in his hands. Tinie Tempah won an award that we except to see worn as a necklace – he’s best newcomer. Other acts that won and sat at round tables: JLS (surely up for a duet with X Factor deportee Gamu), Eminem (the biggest act could not but it is overwhelmed by the support of his British fans etc.), N-Dubz, Professor Green and Plan B.
MOBO founder Kanya King had a little gloat on stage:
“Now here we are 15 years later and urban music is the new pop music and I hate to say this, but we told you so.”
Isn’t urban music, now that’s popular, also pop music? (Red carpet photos here.)
“Jean-Claude Van Damme Denies Heart Attack.”
Consider yourself denied, heart attack. Ha! But the best bit about this story is that Van Damme takes to his Facebook page to talk about himself in the third person:
“Hours ago, I read a rumor online about me suffering a heart attack. Please do not believe all what you read from rumours on any unofficial JVCD sites. Jean-Claude Van Damme is 100 percent healthy, training well for taking the fight and sending his fans and friends much love.”
MOBO 2010: Photos and winners:
Full list of MOBO 2010 Winners:
Best Newcomer – Tinie Tempah
Best UK R&B / Soul Act – Plan B
Best UK Hip Hop / Grime Act – Professor Green
Best International Act – Eminem
Best Reggae Act – Gyptian
Best Album – JLS, ‘JLS’
Best Video in association with MTV Base – Tinie Tempah ft Labrinth – Frisky
Best UK Act in association with Lebara Mobile – JLS
Best Song in association with PRSforMusic – NDubz FEAT. Mr Hudson ‘ Playing with Fire
Best African Act – K’Naan
Best Jazz Act – Empirical
Best Gospel Act – Guvna B
Lifetime Achievement – Billy Ocean
BeMOBO – Merseyside Dance Initiative
MOBO Awards 2010 In Photos: all eyes on X Factor deportee Gamu Nhengu, who stole the limelight from raisin-haired Jermaine Jackson, N-Dubz and their surly mascot Dappy, Mark Ronson’s No.1 fan (meet your people) and someone who used to be white women called Natasha Hamilton (now a cocoa dusted figurine with a face like Qwerty keyboard – picture 4). JLS scooped a gong and the talk was that Gamu and the lads are to duet. Enjoy the photos…
CHERYL Cole, of the X Factor, was at Madame Tussauds in London to see her new waxwork. One of them is a manufactured icon with false hair, assisted teeth, a hint of side boob and a mouth that moves in time to the words of a song. The other is made from wax (bomb-boom)…
ELTON John was flogging some of his old stuff. Plus ca chance for Mr Candle In The Wind. For sale at Gorringes Auctioneers in Lewes, East Sussex, was memorabilia belonging to his mother Shelia Farebrother. Lots included 100 gold and platinum discs, tour jackets and VIP passes Mrs Farebrother used for backstage access at his concerts. And – yep – two multi-platinum discs marking the success of Candle In The Wind, which recorded more than 33 million sales when it was re-released in tribute to Diana, Princess of Wales in 1997. Buy it – or else he’ll sing it again…
Update: the whole lots sold for £28,820.
“I’m worried about Cher.”
Cher is Cher Lloyd, Dot Cotton’s team America action figure on the X Factor.
Inside the magazine and the big exclusive is not with Cheryl Cole but an interview with Sinitta, Simon Cowell’s Oddjob still waiting for spin-off series of her own. She has news, sort of. The “EXCLUSIVE” facts from Sinitta are:
- Cher and Cheryl have no fallen out – at least, “I don’t think so”.
- Cher is “very slim”.
- Cher is stroppy. That’s Cher, the teenage girl who wants to be a telly and popstar.
In other front-page news, OK! does have one fact that can be backed up: it costs £1.99.