Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
“I used to love Mick, but I haven’t been to his dressing room in 20 years.”
He’s not the only one…
On a personal note: I spent a while watching snooker and eating HP sauce with Keith Richards in the 1980s. He was charming and generous. The only comment he made on Mick Jagger was “bit poofy”, when Mick flounced into view on an old tape we watched.
Vince Vaughn’s Gay Gag Video: Cinema’s Goers Get Remote Controls To SKIP, MUTE And PAUSE Best And Worst Bits
“Ladies and gentlemen, electric cars are gay. I mean, not ‘homosexual’ gay but ‘my parents are chaperoning the dance’ gay.”
That was the film’s trailer. Anyone who found it funny and wanted to see the film on the strength of the gag alone will be disappointed to learn that the joke has been expunged from the film’s new trailer (original one is below).
Presumably, the joke still exists in the film. But we reserve the right to be offended and call on cinemas to equip each person in the auditorium with a remote control. If over half press “SKIP GAY“, the gag will be skipped. The system will be adapted for other films – a “PAUSE” button for nude scenes; a “REWIND” button for, er, nude scenes you might have missed; and a “MUTE” for Mel Gibson’s lines.
It’s a huge media shitstorm into which CNN’s Anderson cooper (gay) wades in on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”:
“I was sitting … in a movie theater over the weekend, and there was a preview of a movie, and in it the actor said, ‘That’s so gay.’ And I was shocked … not only that they put that in the movie, but that they put that in the preview, they thought that was okay to put it in the preview to the movie to get people to go and see it. We gotta do something to make those words … unacceptable, ’cause those words are hurting kids.”
Gay-rights organization GLAAD also weighed in on the controversy. GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios says.
“The use of the word ‘gay’ in this trailer as a slur is unnecessary and does nothing more than send a message of intolerance about our community to viewers.”
What says Vince Vaughn, star of films watched by people who don’t see or crave meaning in anything? Well, (via Deadline):
“Let me add my voice of support to the people outraged by the bullying and persecution of people for their differences, whatever those differences may be. Comedy and joking about our differences breaks tension and brings us together. Drawing dividing lines over what we can and cannot joke about does exactly that; it divides us. Most importantly, where does it stop.”
Gays jokes bind people and communities. Vince has spoken.
To your keypads, viewers. The Dilemma is on. Press the “SHOULD HAVE SEEN SOMETHING ELSE” button now!
Vaughn wants the gays to lighten up and take the joke at their expense. In his new film, The Dilemma,
GUN’S ‘n’ Roses were playing the 02 Arena, in London. Last time the act was in the region, they threw a hissy fit in Dublin and walked off the stage. This time they played on. Although given the glasses, the hat, the bandanas and the jacket – always that jacket – Axl Rose could have been pretty much anyone. Which reminds us – anyone seen Van Morrison..?
SIR Cliff Richard is 70. The irrepressible singer reached three score years and ten. What’s been Cliff’s high point? Being knighted? Reaching the top of the hit parade in three different centuries, once with a timpani? Selling over 150 million singles? Falling out of favour with Chris Evans. We’ve pulled together a large photo history of Cliff’s career to date. Fans will love the pictures. Non-fans will appreciate the historical tinges and staging…
CHERYL Cole never needed England footballing great Ashley Cole to get on. The woman born Cheryl Tweedy never needed Cole’s surname to move her away from the TV talent show singer with a conviction for assaulting a toilet attendant.
Now divorced from Ashley Cole, Cheryl can finally be her own woman.
On her new album Messy Little Raindrops, she sings the song Happy Tears, lyrics released to an expectant and compliant media:
I cried when I heard you were cheatin’
I cried when I said I was leavin’
I cut off my hair and painted my toes
I sold all the diamonds and burnt all your clothes
I cried when I slashed all your tyres
I cried when your suit hit the fire
PEREZ Hilton, the “gossip gangsta” and sometime writer of the self-styled “Hollywood’s Most-Hated Web Site”, the celebrity watcher gone native called Mario Lavandeira has made it part of his remit to out gay stars, like “Doogie Howser” star Neil Patrick Harris and Lance Bass.
Not everyone wants to be outed. Some people who do not trade on their sexuality, who are not hypocrites, want a private life. Justin Aarberg, 15, committed suicide for hat Barack Obama’s chief aide called his “lifestyle choice“.
“We are so proud (despite the nay-sayers) in having a hand in bringing about change. We’ve said it before and we will say it again: the closet no longer exists if you are a celebrity or a politician!”
“It upsets me that people think what I’m doing is a bad thing … I know there is some controversy about outing people, but I also believe the only way we’re gonna have change is with visibility. And if I have to drag some people screaming out of the closet, then I will.”
Great stuff. Perez will out you and make himself famous and newsworthy. How this helps, say, the teenagers outed in public with a big sperm volcano of a penis painted on their portraits is not important to Perez’s public service. The mission to serve is all.
KEIRA Knightley, Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield rocked up for the European premiere of Never Let Me Go at the Odeon Leicester Square, London. Knightley once told Allure magazine:
“I hate red-carpet events; I absolutely hate them. I don’t like the fact that people write, ‘Oh, you look like crap’ in print. Or ‘I don’t like your arms!’ ”
“I’m not Wonder Woman. I have self-esteem problems. Everybody does. You know, skinny people are allowed to feel shit about themselves.
“I haven’t got a clue about how much I weigh. I do not own any scales.”
MICHAEL Parkinson says Russell Brand is “Talentless, unfunny and lucky to be famous”. Well, Brand never did get to flick back his hair, stroke his beard and go on Parky’s chatshow, like, say, Billy Connolly did time and time and time again.
Connell went on to be a screen actor. As Parky says on Brand:
“I mean Rin Tin Tin had a very big career in Hollywood and he was a dog. An Alsatian. You don’t have to be particularly talented to have a career in Hollywood.”
Well, no. and you don’t have to be a great journalist to be TV interviewer. Still, it is good to see that Parkinson has his pet hates. And the last word is with Craig Brown, whose pet hat is Parkinson:
“He’s the real pits isn’t he? The idea that he should be rewarded as the master of chat with a knighthood is laughable. He has a complete lack of curiosity about anyone.”
He also wore a pair of short stilts on his feet – Tom Cruise own-brand – and was interviewed by Jenni Falconer, an experience akin to having your ear rubbed along a wet bubble of washing up liquid.
Also there were a cluster of celebrity liggers and… Anneka Tanaka-Svenska. We have no idea who she is and fining out will only spoil the thrill of a name dreamt up by a Nippon-Scandinavian law firm…
Did that which brought them together also tear them apart?
Hollywood’s gotta be asking itself that question about Courteney Cox and David Arquette, in the wake of their split.
The pair first coupled during production of the film “Scream,” when Cox was cast as bitchy broadcaster Gayle Weathers with Arquette in the role of ditzy Deputy Dewey Riley.
The announcement of their separation comes just as production wraps on “Scream 4,” in which Cox and Arquette’s characters are now man and wife.
“Now that I’m here, I sometimes wish I could just go back home and chill. But if I was at home and I wasn’t doing this, I’d wish that I was in this position.”
What is it about Bieber that like makes you want to teach out and cuff it? Other things that engender the same reaction are:
- The BBC continuity announcer saying: “It’s Strictly.”
- Noel Edmonds’ secret Moses–To-God talks with the ‘Banker”.
- Any TV show with a horse in the opening credits.
- Anyone who plays Dr Who not playing Dr Who
- Michael Parkinson talking to Billy Connelly in public
- Justin Bieber
GEORGE Michael is out. No, not out. We knew he was gay last week. The news cycle might look like it’s on repeat where Georgios Panayiotou is concerned, a same story loop of drugs – car – court for the shot of memory to keep up with, but Michael is moving on. He is out of jail. and back at his house in Highgate, north London, after being released from prison. He posed for the cameras, rubbed his head, wagged his finger, pulled on some dark glasses and, hopefully, remembered to put the number for a minicab firm on his phone…
HAYDEN Panettiere is to portray Meredith Kercher’s murderer Amanda Knox in a chocolate box film TV called The Amanda Knox Story. In what still passes for reality, Raffaele Sollecito, Rudy Guede and Knox sexually assaulted Kercher and slashed the British girl’s throat with a knife in Perugia. That was way, way, way back in 2007.
Knox got 26 years jail – Sollecito was sentenced to 25 years while Guede got 30 years. Guede, who is black and from the Ivory Coast has not been heard of. But Knox, who is blonde and American, is a cause celebre for anyone wanting to bash the Italians and tap into a bit of sexy-drug-fulled scandal.
So. Can a young, fit, sexually active American be a murderer in a picturesque setting with coffee shops and an aqueduct? Well, yes.
Can a TV company make some cash and fiction from a girl’s brutal murder? Can it open up the story to a debate? Yes. It’s already begun. Get a load of this from the Telegraph:
Colin Firth is to play a journalist investigating the mystery surrounding the murder of British student Meredith Kercher.
JOHN Lennon would have been 70th today. He never lived to see his advert for Apple or Citroën. He also missed every other mawkish anniversary of this death. How long can you go marking the birthday of a man before it looks like marketing-led campaign?
Lennon, A musician who with The Beatles make some great records and entertained millions is elevated to a sombre, mawkish and meaningful sainthood in a way he would surely have found ridiculous. Evey word of his is analysed and presented as if he never said anything that was not stuffed with meaning.
Says John: “I wanna hold your hand.” Hmmm. What hand? How did you want to hold it? What did you want to hold it with? Is John’s hand a sign of God’s love?
And here he would have been at 70. Or 80. Or 240. That sounds far-fetched. Unless, of course, in the far-flung future people are living to 300 years plus, in which case it’s poignant. Yoko Ono might care to record such a greeting for every year up to 300 and beyond.
To mark this occasion Yoko Ono is flogging a load of Lennon’s solo material which she “remastered” in big box set.
DONALD Trump is now Dr Donald Trump. The man with the tsumani hair is a Doctor of Business Administration at Robert Gordon University, Aberdeen. Why? No idea. But University chancellor, Sir Ian Wood CBE, praised Mr Trump’s 750 million luxury golf development on the Menie estate on the Aberdeenshire coast. So, maybe if you plant a lot of grass and promise to keep it manicured you can be a doctor. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the college, sir, Your Highness, Emperor of All You Survey etc., we would be ever so humble. Failing that, can you juggle..?
Franco is just about the most likable leading man right now. In the film, a bored and stressed Ralston masturbates. As is the way with all trite film interviews, the hack wonders how alike the star is to the character he plays. Franco amuses himself:
“So, when I’m alone, I do masturbate a lot. I don’t know why. It’s like you have those days where it’s just like, I have a ton of writing to do, or a ton of reading to do, and you’re just like, OK, I’m going to be on the couch all day or in bed all day just doing that… I tend to have a four- or five-time day. So, I probably would have if I was stuck under a rock.”
GWYNETH Paltrow knows that your semen is organic and low fat but she will not have oral sex with you to get the part in the film. For starters, she is not that type of girl. For seconds, she knows better. And for thirds, she is Blythe Danner’s daughter and her dad was a director:
When I was just starting out, someone suggested that we finish a meeting in the bedroom. I left. I was pretty shocked. I could see how someone who didn’t know better might worry, ‘My career will be ruined if I don’t give this guy a blow job!’
AMELLE Berrabah of Sugarbabes was at Highbury Magistrates’ Court to be fined £2000 and get a 14 month driving ban for drink driving. Two words, celebs: Mini Cab. If you’re lucky, you might find a 1980s popstar driving one…
THE Social Network – aka the Facebook Movie – arrived in London. We went to see Aaron Sorkin, Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake at a photocall for The Social Network at the Dorchester. As for the film, The Daily Beast’s Rebecca Davis O’Brien, says the film’s women who serve Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg are “doting groupies, sexed-up Asians, vengeful sluts, or dumpy, feminist killjoys.” But not media whores? Why does the new media hate women as much as the old media?
Oh yes teen pop sensation JUSTIN BIEBER has been plugging a new autobiography and has told the NOTW
“When I was little I just longed for a normal life, with a normal family and there’s no way that’s ever going to happen now.” And he talked about standing up to bullies. “Unfortunately for the bullies, my dad was a former professional fighter who used to take me to his training sessions. I quickly got a reputation as someone not to be bullied.”
The News of the World also has a video of Bieber and comical English accent.
RUSSEL Brand is flogging his Booky Wook in Gateshead. He meets his No.1 fan…
REMEMBER how the gathering of taffeta, vegetable dyes and Katie Price’s off-cuts called Chantelle Houghton was going to get back with Samuel Preston; how Sam was looking for “integrity”; and how they were both looking for love but maybe not with each other, not just now?
Well, heat magazine says what many have been saying all along: rubbish!
A “source” says:
“They spoke on the phone several times before they went back in. They discussed how much they would be paid, and when Chantelle found out Preston was getting £40,000 she went back to the Channel 4 producers and demanded the same.”
They then, reportedly, scored a £120,000 deal with glossy to tell their story.
All nonsense, right?
What do you think?
Vancouver SunTO JACK SCOTT, VANCOUVER SUN
October 1, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City
I got a hell of a kick reading the piece Time magazine did this week on The Sun. In addition to wishing you the best of luck, I’d also like to offer my services.
Since I haven’t seen a copy of the “new” Sun yet, I’ll have to make this a tentative offer. I stepped into a dung-hole the last time I took a job with a paper I didn’t know anything about (see enclosed clippings) and I’m not quite ready to go charging up another blind alley.
By the time you get this letter, I’ll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of The Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I’ll let my offer stand. And don’t think that my arrogance is unintentional: it’s just that I’d rather offend you now than after I started working for you.
MARC Mysterio, currently embroiled win a dispute with Dancing On The Stars pro/celebrity hoofer Brandy, recently inked an exclusive deal with Universal Canada via his company World Class Records (WCR). Each artist signing to WCR/UMC will be produced or executive produced by Marc Mysterio, whom will also run A&R.
“Universal’s backing in giving us the ability to sign and release any act we want. This speaks to DJ culture having arrived in North America,” says Marc Mysterio. “If we can sum up this partnership’s personality in one word, that would be ‘pro-active'”.
Of course, we can’t help but to mention Brandy – whom Anorak Pal Marc Mysterio is suing for alleged breach of contract for failing to provide the vocals she was paid $10,000 as per written contract as a side artist fee.
She could win the bozo the clown of the month award, but this time not for her dancing skills (or lack thereof) on Dancing With The Stars . The song in which she was originally set to appear in “Shout It Out” by Marc Mysterio, was just sent to radio last Monday and in its first week, bested Eminem to slot #2 on the New Airplay Chart for Top 40 Radio this past week across Canada.
“The success of the song without the star power of a Brandy being featured on it shows not only how strong a record it is, but that her not being on the record is a loss that is tough to swallow. There is a lot of, what if she hadn’t screwed us over, where would this song be. I hope she thinks that this Dancing With The Stars fiasco was worth it. Past experience from reality shows (i.e. Samantha Fox on I’m A Celeb) tells me otherwise.
Unless you have a solid product that is already working, most of the post-reality show records underperform so if this was her hope to ditch us and use this bounce to re-launch her career solo, instead of doing it the right way as Kelly Rowland did with David Guetta, karma can be a bitch. But, let’s see. I’m focused on working with Universal and my other international partners on making ‘Shout It Out’ the biggest success possible as is, and let everything else take care of itself.”