Katy Perry’s Private New Home And Russell Brand’s Hypocrisy Over The Sun?

KATY Perry and Russell Brand are not divorcing, splitting or becoming estranged. We know this because it is true, our spotter in Los Angeles has seen the removal truck delivering stuff to what may well be the couple’s new home (photos below), and because Katy Perry tells anyone on Twitter:

Just cause we don’t flaunt our relationship doesn’t mean there’s something wrong w/it. Privacy is our luxury. #tabloidsrtrash #gossipisgross.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Peta’s Chantelle Houghton Might Be Impotent: Some Grim Irony There

SAD news for Chantelle Houghton, who, as reported on PA, has been told that she has little chance of conceiving a baby naturally after years of extreme dieting.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Go And Spoil Someone’s Wedding

CHEEK! The absolute cheek! Warbling foetus Justin Bieber and his child-bride, Selena Gomez, were walking along a beach in Malibu together when they heard Bieber’s wretched song, One Less Lonely Girl, playing at a party.

Instead of being quietly pleased that his autotuned pap was being appreciated and getting on with his life, the little swine decided to go and steal everyone’s thunder by gatecrashing.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

J Lo And Ex To Star In Awkward Reality TV Show Together

THE whole world was rocked to its firey foundation when Jennifer Lopez and someone called Marc Anthony (aka Booty & The Beast) decided to call time on their relationship!

‘You seemed so happy together!’, ‘You were the most perfect couple in the history of humanity!’, ‘Why didn’t you let us see that sex tape where you got your lovely bum spanked Jennifer?!’ cried humans into the ether, hoping that their words would float on the winds and into the sculpted ears of J Lo and that guy she was seeing.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Marilyn Monroe Statue Is World’s Biggest Upskirt Photo Op

A BIG 26-foot-tall sculpture of Marilyn Monroe, in her most famous wind-blown pose, now stands on Michigan Ave in Chicago.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Harper Seven Beckham Photos: Tweet Tweet

HARPER Seven Beckham (named after Harper Beckham prototypes One to Six) has been launched on the world by Victoria and David Beckham by way of a Twitter photo. The child named after the title of To Kill A Mocking Bird – non-reading Vicky’s favourite book – is a…Tweet…Tweet.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Danielle Doty Photos: Miss Teen USA Bares Her American Teeth

DANIELLE Danielle Doty of Harlingen, Texas., is the winner of The Miss Teen USA 2011.

Doty, 18, defeated Audra Mari of North Dakota (is that state?) , Taylor Clark (Kansas, third) and Sydnee Stottlemyre (Missouri, fourth).

Anorak

Posted: 17th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Wedding Photos – EXCLUSIVE!

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie are to marry on September 24 2012! Fact. They are unable to marry before that date because to do so would destroy one of the mainstays of the tabloid magazine industry. The other stories editors turn to on a slow news day are: Jennifer Aniston back with Brad?!; Angelina Jolie and Aniston at War Over Brad!; Is Jennifer Aniston Pregnant?; Why Isn’t Jennifer Aniston Pregnant?; Will Jolie Adopt Aniston’s Twins? Is Obama A Gay Muslim?

Anorak

Posted: 16th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Latitude Festival 2011 In Photos: Pink Sheep Pamloma Faith’s Rain Dance

THE Latitude Festival 2011 In Photos. To Southwold, then, for the Latitude Festival in Henham Park, Suffolk. The weather is wet. Blame Paloma Faith’s rain dance and the Longitude…

Anorak

Posted: 16th, July 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Jennifer Lopez And Whatshisface To Divorce: Private Photos

JENNIFER Lopez and non-smiling Marc Anthony are to divorce. They pop out to Oyez Straker and pump out the formula statement:

“We have decided to end our marriage. “his was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.“

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Non-Reading Victoria Beckham Chose Harper After Book She Loves

WANT to know why Victoria Beckham called her daughter Harper Seven? Is it because Haeper One to Six were taken and she likes a well developed brand? Not quite:

Says David Beckham on Facebook:

“One reason is Harper’s an old English name which we loved and one of the other reasons was Victoria’s favourite book is To Kill A Mockingbird and the author was Harper Lee. It’s a very strong, passionate book. That’s where Harper came from.’

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Ridiculus Pictures of Celine Dion Are Banned

THE website Ridiculus Pictures of Celine Dion has, allegedly, received a letter from Céline Dion.

It says:

Celine Dion found our blog, and she didn’t like it. we just got a letter from céline’s lawyers that the blog has to be shut down.

though this blog is well within the realm of ‘fair use’, i don’t have the money or time to get a lawyer to respond. the dream is over.

thanks for following and being a céline superfan
i’ll always remember u
i’ll never let go

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Mental Joss Stone Men Appear In Court To Be Laughed At

STALKERS! We know you’re completely insane, but seriously, stalking and trying to kidnap Joss Stone? Really? That’s new levels of insanity… unless of course, you don’t love her at all and simply wanted to ensure that there would be no more Joss Stone records in the world.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Victoria Beckham Spends £3000 On Stretch Mark Cream – Still Of No Fixed Talent

WHEN Victoria Beckham had her bouncing bundle of inevitable disappointment, the world sighed and was glad that she’d finally had a baby girl, so we could all officially stop caring. The last bit of fun we were to have was with her and her husband David’s decision to call her Harper Seven, which sounds like the seventh sequel to a cheap ’70s sci-fi show.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (21)

Ashley Cole Services Cheryl In The Bath (Photos)

CHERLY Cole and Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole are back together. The nation sweetheart’s search for another “Cole” to match her neck tattoo proved futile. George Cole (too old), Ole King Cole (too gay) and Cole Porter (too dead) were not right, or too busy to get with Chezza.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Are Definitely, Definitely Going To Get Married, Right?

That’s right! A big ol’ wedding for the couple and their thousand adopted children to attend!

How thrilling. No really.

And it appears that it will be happening soon, with a wedding set to take place within the next few months. And that’s according to three separate utterly unreliable sources.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 14th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Charlie Sheen May Reunite With Ex Wife, Which Is Great For Their Long Suffering Children

IMAGINE being the spawn of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller. They’ve been sat around, bored as hell, because daddy went straight and got a regular job again and mom was playing it kinda cool while the custody paperwork got sorted out.

Gone are those salad days when daddy would punch chandeliers, make prostitutes cry, snort suitcases of cocaine in one go and move a bunch of blonde, busty women in when mommy’s arse was slung out the door. Gone are those halcyon days when mom smoked crack pipes and was seen in dodgy car parks clinging to fistfuls of cash while waiting for a dealer to show up.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 14th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katy Holmes Buys Suri A Maternity Dress

KATIE Holmes, wife to celebrity Scientologist Tom Cruise, tells In Style magazine that she shops for clothes with her daughter in mind:

I will buy something with her in mind, thinking it’s gonna look so great on her when she’s 25 or whatever. I have a lot of things that I’ve already set aside, as well as some of my old maternity clothes so that she (can) wear them when she’s having a daughter or son.”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Morrissey Fans Searched For Their Meat At Gig

WHILE the big news of the week is the death of Czech painter Zdenek Sykora, one of the first to use computers for geometrical paintings, we’re more interested in meat.

That’s right, Morrissey continues to have his very public nervous breakdown over what people eat, which will hopefully end with the former Smiths frontman naked in a public square, weeping openly as he gorges on dripping burgers and stale fried chicken.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 13th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Franco Arrested For Stalking Halle Berry, Despite The Fact She’s Barely Famous These Days

STALKERS! It is fair to say that you’re all completely mental, right? You become obsessed with someone, for pretty much no reason at all. In fact, you don’t even fall in love with the person, rather, an image of them. You may as well have sex with a photocopy and have done with it.

However, what’s even weirder is when people stalk those who are barely famous at all these days. Let us look at Richard Franco who has been arrested for stalking Halle Berry.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 12th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Hugh Hefner Says He’s Not Dead – World Still Not Entirely Convinced

PLAYBOY founder and all-round oxygen thief  Hugh Hefner has pooh-poohed rumours he’s dead, declaring: “I’m very much alive and kicking!”

However, people are still uncertain and are inundating the heart-broken old coot with requests to poke him with a stick just to see if there’s any movement.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 12th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Harry Potter Lost In World’s Biggest Maze: Can You Spot The Difference?

FROM the air over York Maze – the largest maize maze in Europe! – you can see two versions of Harry Potter fashioned from bushes. Farmer Tom Pearcy’s twin portraits are not identical. Can you spot the difference?

Anorak

Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: Film | Comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger And Mildred Are Phone Chums (Potential For Dirty Phonecalls And Sexting Then?)

CHEATING filthy secret baby-having Arnold Schwarzenegger has to admit that his marriage to Maria Shriver is over. Just like his potential. He’s peaked. His best films are behind him, he bafflingly got into a political position of power and he had a really cool wife… and he’s ballsed the lot up.

And so, wiping away his testosterone injected man-tears away while looking at his family photo-album, he’s faced with a bleak future of readymeals for one and Harry Nilsson’s ‘Without Her’ for company.

Of course, he has to make peace with himself. As he can’t say “I forgive you’ out loud to himself without it sounding threatening or hilarious, he has to go about making amends with the housekeeper he impregnated, which got him into this terrible pickle in the first place.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Creepy Taylor Momsen Gets Women To Strip Off While She Gyrates On Stage (Video And Photos)

THERE are people in this world who just can’t get enough attention. They crave it so much that they’re prepared to fling away their dignity just so we take some notice of them. However, in the case of Taylor Momsen – star of Gossip Girl and now treading the sticky floors of various gig pits with The Pretty Reckless – she’s prepared to lose everyone else’s dignity too.

Momsen – who we must remember is a mere SEVENTEEN years old – is rather fond of getting her boobs out in an attempt to shock all concerned. At one show, she got her rack out while her mum was stood in the front row. Was mother dearest egging her on? Seeing as Momsen was a child-star (she was in The Grinch and was very nearly chosen for the lead role in Hannah Montana), there’s a strong chance she’s the kind of pushy mother who will do anything to have fame, vicariously.

Mof Gimmers

Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)

Victoria Beckham Gives Birth And Baby Posh Suri Shiloh ViDa Beckham Is Already On The Rack

Anorak

Posted: 10th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)