ROBIN THICKE is one of the biggest names of 2013, after scoring a huge hit with Blurred Lines. The promotional video for the smash has ruffled a few feathers, and rightly so, as Thicke takes ironic sexism to breaking point.
The video shows a variety of women, naked apart from their shoes, being chased by Thicke, who looks old and predatory, giving off more of an Operation Yewtree vibe, rather than a young exuberant man.
If you see any terrible tributes, please let us know.
Spotter:The World’s Best Ever
POLICEMEN can be a bit dour, but one PC in Birmingham decided he’d liven things up by singing the general public some songs. Regrettably, he chose the songbook of Oasis.
A passer-by filmed PC Ian Northcott’s performance of Wonderwall and the policeman said: “It was such a lovely day, everyone seemed happy, it just felt such a natural thing to do.”
“Noel would have been proud I hope.”
PC Northcott’s impromptu gig wasn’t his first, he added:
“I’ve got to know a few of the city’s buskers and have joined them before to play. We are always looking for ways to break down barriers between the police and the public and this was certainly one of them.”
Next step: 21 Seconds by So Solid Crew.
SO. Now we know. The Sun’s Fake Sheik lured Tulisa Contostavlos into a false sense of security by telling her he had lined up a Bollywood deal worth £8m. The hoaxers didn’t just hire a suite at the Grosvenor House Hotel on Park Lane. The Sunday People says they flew her “around the world by private jet during two months of negotiation”.
What looked like a sting that caught Tulisa off guard and thumb a nose at the drugs trade – it’s alleged she facilitated a cocaine deal – turns out to be an elaborate plot to cut a successful young woman down to size. To recap: Tulisa did not take drugs. She is alleged to have just helped a fake Bollywood executive get some at their request.
This swiftly led to the arrest of Tulisa and a bloke called Mike GLC.
“EGGSTEMIST” Natalie Holt enlivened Richard and Adam’s crooning on the Britain’s Got Talent live finale by chucking eggs at Simon Cowell. Britain’s Got Talent Holt says she did it because she was upset at being asked to pretend to play the violin on stage. She says it was a “stand against people miming on television and against Simon Cowell and against his influence on the music industry.”
Natalie is 30. In the clip below she’s grinning as she chucks the eggs. It’s almost as if – as if – it was a stunt. If it wasn’t, why didn’t Natalie do something less telegenic, like stick her fingers down her throat and throw up or read aloud a letter full of Cowell’s limp put downs for the losers he once would have wilfully signed (see his work with Roland Rat, Chaos, Girl Thing, and Robson and Jerome) and asked him why none of the eligible bachelor’s lovers kiss ‘n’ tell. Who needs a super-in junction when you’re pernickety Simon Cowell?
Holt went with raw eggs. Cowell should have caught them unbroken before the cameras pan around to see the crowd agog at this talent. Or else fellow judge David Walliams might have lept across the bench uttering an action film hero’s “Noooooooooooooo!” as he took a pelting in the face for the leader.
As it was, Cowell said he just removed his jacket, which had a spot of egg on it. Holt apologised. And the Sun invited someone called Storm Lee to tell us:
“A lot of people would like to egg Simon. His influence is such that if you are not liked by him as a musician you are out of luck.”
If he likes you, you get to be big as Cheeky Monkeys, Janey Cutler, Kieran Gaffney, Kieran Gaffney, Only Boys Aloud, Ronan Parke, Connie Talbot, Nikitta Angus, Austin Drage…
DUE to unforeseen circumstances TV psychic and future teller Derek Acorah will not be appearing in Fire.
IN 1958, Hollywood hunk Rock Hudson was talking to his wife Phyllis. Hudson was 32. In 1985, he died from Aids. He had been living a lie. He was gay. The Hollywood Reporter claims to have gotten hold of the transcripts of a recording made by a private detective named Fred Otash who had bugged Hudson’s apparent chat with Phyllis at her request:
SO. How did the caring Daily Mail break the news that Paris Jackson, Michael’s Jackson’s 15-year-old daughter, had attempted suicide? By juxtaposing her face next to a story on a paedophile:
CONTINUING our occasional look at Sesame Street, arguably the greatest ever children’s TV show, we look back at Philip Glass’s appearance on it.
Geometry of Circles is a series of unnumbered animation pieces created for Sesame Street in 1979. Cathryn Aison commissioned Philip Glass to write music for animation based on her storyboard which had been submitted to and approved by Edith Zornow of CTW.
The shorts consist of the movement of six circles (each with a different color of the rainbow) that are formed by and split up into various geometric patterns. Glass’s music underscores the animation in a style that closely resembles the “Dance” numbers and the North Starvignettes written during the same time period as hisEinstein on the Beach opera.
The film has featured in public screenings and museum exhibits. In October 2012, the third movement from the film was included in the “Century of the Child: Growing by Design, 1900–2000″ exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City.
IT’S only make believe. Neatorama points us towards these stills of actors laughing between takes. Can you name all the films?
The more serious the film, the better the laughter appears. If anyone has still of actors giggling between takes on All Quiet on the Western Front or The Elephant Man, please send them over. It’s tempting to think of everyone acting on comedy films like, say. The Pink Panther being stony faced between takes.
RICH, dickish and young, Justin Bieber has come up with a new way to spunk some of his cash: he’s heading off to space.
Bieber will take on space via a Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo.
HEARTY congratulations to singer Example (nee Elliot Gleave) on his wedding to Australian model Erin McNaugh. The couple married in Bora Bora.
“I’ve written a poem that was 17 minutes long, like the whole speech, and I’ve whittled it down to about ten.”
Again. They married in Bora Bora…
HOW the PR industry works. Mad Men siren Christina Hendricks is in coversation with Esquire. She has previously noted: “I love it when a man orders Scotch. Most women find it a big turn-on.”
ESQ: Are you an actual Scotch drinker?
CH: I am, I am. That’s how the whole thing came about with Johnnie Walker. I had done an interview with you guys and they asked me what a man should drink, and I said Scotch. I was sort of intrigued by it years ago. I’d slowly over the years order myself one. And now that I’ve been working with Johnnie Walker, I’ve learned more about it. I have a whole new appreciation for it and much more knowledge about it. I think it’s always more fun when you really know a lot about what it is, whether it’s what you’re cooking, or your wine, or Scotch.
PARIS Jackson, 15-year-old daughter to Michael Jackson, has tried to kill herself. So far, Katherine Jackson, Tito Jackson, Jackie Jackson and Marlon Jackson have appealed for Paris to have utter privacy. Heereeeeee’ssssssss LaToya Jackson:
“We are grateful and appreciate the overwhelming concern for Paris from both the public and the media, but request privacy at this time while our family handles these issues together.”
She did not plug her new record.
THE death of Michael Jackson made for an unbelievable night, mainly because it happened during the Glastonbury Festival where rumours of celebrity deaths always take off, usually unfounded. Alas, it transpired that the most famous man on the planet had indeed died, and no-one knew whether to celebrate Jackson’s incredibly body of music or make jokes about where he might like to stick his dick.
The fallout of his death saw a mystifying funeral/concert, various grabs for MJ’s fortunes and, of course, a baying mob for Conrad Murray after he medicined Michael Jackson into the choir invisible.
FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.
The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.
“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.
PARIS Jackson is 15. Michael Jackson’s daughter has attempted to take her own life. After her father’s funeral was turned into her showcase, let’s not gawp.
Not every child with famous parents likes to be watched.
Anorak knows of at least one child of famous parents who tried to take their own life and they and their story are routinely ignored by the press. And, given their age, that’s right. Some things are just private…
STOP PRESS: She’s a JACKSON! Her family will make her every waking hour public property.
CLARIFICATION: Michael Douglas did not get oral cancer form oral sex. Sure, he told the Guardian that his cancer had been brought on not by his smoking and drinking, rather by HPV (human papillomavirus), but he was mistaken. He also said cunnilingus was the best medicine. Was that wrong, too?
The 68-year-old actor’s spokesman Allen Burry tells the world:
“No. He [Douglas] did not say oral sex was the cause of his cancer.”
Or as Douglas said:
“…this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”
So. Do we take the plain wrapper off Catherine Zeta Jones’s vagina or not?
WHAT the world needs is a huge head modelled to look like Lionel Richie’s noggin. If this Kickstarter project can make it, the world will have what it needs.
For your money you get “internal turbines to keep his head up, internal sandbags to keep his head down” and “Head Guards” to protect the head from human lice. You also get a “Lionel Richie Head Paper Mask” (£9), and “a chance for and your partner to stay overnight in Lionel Richie’s Head” (£1,000).
A good looking Lionel Richie Head at a respectable height (3m) will cost us £4,900… We hope with the possible success of raising the money to make a 3m inflatable sculpture, that we also reach our additionally intended ‘Stretch Goal’ of £10k. This money will be used to make Lionel Richie’s Head bigger (6m). Making it bigger allows us to create a portal that will let Bestivalers go inside Lionel Richie’s Head.
THE Celebrity Police Force, tired of nicking alleged aged paedos and perverts, have arrested former X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos on suspicion of supplying class A drugs. The Sun alleges that Tulisa hooked up the News of the World’s former Fake Sheikh to a drugs dealer who flogged him half an ounce of cocaine at London’s Dorchester Hotel. The alleged dealer goes by the name Mike GLC.
Says Mike GLC:
“We are innocent. We haven’t been charged.”
IN 1973, Sid Vicious – then known as John Simon Ritchie was pictured on his way to watch David Bowie perform in London. He’d have 16 or 17 years old. Four years later he joined the Sex Pistols. What impact did Glam Rock have on the punks?
CAN you name the films these 16 living movie stills have been taken from?
JIAH Kahn, aka Nafisa Khan, the New York-born, London-raised Bollywood siren, has died. The body of the 25-year-old actress was found hanging. It looks a lot like suicide. But there was no note.
Bollywood actress Dia Mirza tweeted: “RIP Nafisa (Jiah) Khan. You were too young and beautiful…”