Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 20

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball In G-Major Is Damn Creepy

WANT to hear  Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball in G-major. To augment the horror, the musical subversive inverted the colours on Miley’s hammer-licking vid.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rave With Mother: Hampshire Police Attacked On Night Of The Living Dead

PA 1746450 Rave With Mother: Hampshire Police Attacked On Night Of The Living Dead

CAN we agree whose side we are on in this story from Beacon Hill, Highclere, in Hampshire?

Around midnight last Saturday, police rocked up to a rave. 

Some of the revellers threw things at Hampshire and Thames Valley Police’s finest. A Hampshire Constabulary spokesman tells us: ”Officers were subjected to violence, including missiles thrown at them, which resulted in six officers sustaining non-serious injuries. It is believed between about 80 and 100 people attended the illegal event. We will continue to take every measure possible to prevent any such illegal music events from happening… in the future.”

Music events should all be legal and policed and licensed. Say no to spontaneity. Like Glastonbury, music should be policed and made reassuringly expensive to keep the riff-raff out.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Blow-Up: When the Swinging Sixties Came to Stockwell

STOCKWELL Road isn’t the most exciting and handsome of roads. It may have been once, but the Luftwaffe and the usual unimaginative sixties south London redevelopment put paid to that. It’s got a skateboard park, if that’s your thing, and David Bowie was born in a road just off it, but even he moved to Bromley when he was six. And that’s about it, to most people in the area it’s just a road that joins up Stockwell and Brixton.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Epic Puns: The Lidl Wain Costume

TONIGHT, I’ll be Lidl Wain in a swag carrier bag:

lidle wain Epic Puns: The Lidl Wain Costume

Posted: 17th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Oprah Winfrey: People ‘Disrespect’ Obama Because He’s Black (But Wanting Bush Dead Was OK)

bush shot dead Oprah Winfrey: People Disrespect Obama Because Hes Black (But Wanting Bush Dead Was OK)

OPRAH Winfrey tells the BBC that President Barack Obama attracts “disrespect” because he’s black.

“There’s a level of disrespect for the office that occurs. And that occurs in some cases and maybe even many cases because he’s African American. There’s no question about that and it’s the kind of thing nobody ever says but everybody’s thinking it.”

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Posted: 17th, November 2013 | In: Barack Obama, Celebrities, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

barron knights Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

 

IN 1966 Pete Townshend wrote about the Dipso Asbo Fatso British public. He called it Fat Lazy People.

 

PA 12161646 Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

 

The song was recorded by the Barron Knights, a group famous for spoof songs, such as this Santa-Floyd mash-up

 

 

 

Photo: Easter kiss for Duke D’Mond from his wife Pauline Palmer, at Heathrow Airport saying goodbye to him and his fellow Barron Knights, left to right; Barron Anthony, Dave Ballinger, P’Nut Langford and Buth Baker at the start of a six week tour. Date: 27/03/1970

 

PA 6694072 Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

 

 

And there was this, a Taste Of Aggro (with apologies to The Smurfs.)

 

 

Before that, The Knights were a proper band whose claim to fame was being the only outfit to tour with both the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

They could, after all, do passable impressions of all the greats:

 

 

Here’s the song: 

Lazy and fat they are, they are.
And because they are all the same..
They laugh and exclaim
“The young are so funny”

They burn in the sun, the sun
And though painfully pink, when it rains
They always complain
“We all paid our money.”

Oh! The lazy fat people
Are a terrible sight to see.
And the lazy fat people will
Get the better of you and me…….

Lazy and fat they are, they are.
Their children diet till thin
To leave more for them
“To save us some money.”

Oh! The lazy fat people will
Try to sit on you and me
If we dont watch out theyll
Get the better of you and me.

How to tell the young from the
Lazy fat is easy to do…..

Take it away, Pete:

Spotter: DM

Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Warped Netmums Say Popstars Are Too Sexy For The Poor Brainless Children

babes Warped Netmums Say Popstars Are Too Sexy For The Poor Brainless Children

APPARENTLY, pop music is just too sexy – so say some tutting parents from the website Netmums (think; Tesco Value Mumsnet). They polled their members and found that 80% of respondents have seen their children singing or repeating sexual lyrics without realising their meaning.

That’s good isn’t it? Children not knowing the sexual connotations of things! That’s bad of the parents though, isn’t it? Letting them listen to whatever they want.

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Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Let Us Look At Andy Kaufman’s Best, While He Fakes His Death

Akaufman1 Let Us Look At Andy Kaufmans Best, While He Fakes His DeathACCORDING to the brother of comedy legend, Andy Kaufman, the star faked his own death in 1984 and is still alive. Appearing at an award show named in Andy’s honour, Michael Kaufman said he had received a letter from his brother, confirming he was alive, in 1999.

He then introduced a woman who claimed to be Andy’s 24-year-old daughter.

Of course, bizarre things like this, farcical situations, uncomfortable silences, half truths and all that fun stuff, followed Andy Kaufman wherever he went. This is likely to be another case.

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Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Miley Cyrus’s Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

miley grandma Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

BY now you’ll be wondering what Miley Cyrus has been up to. Well, she’s got a new tattoo. This one features a face of her grandmother and the legend: “Because I am her favourite & she is mine.”

Grandma is Loretta Finley, mother to Miley’s mother Leticia “Tish” Cyrus.

Letitia and Miley’s father Billy Ray Cyrus have two other children, Braison Chance (born 1994)

 

braison Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

and Noah Lindsey (born 2000).

tish Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

 

Leticia has two other children from a previous relationship: Brandi (born 1987)

brandi Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

 

and Trace (born 1989). 

him Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

And Loretta had her favourite. Look, the rest of you. It says so on Miley’s arm. In yer face, losers.

Christmas dinner should be fun. Right, mum?

 

PA 17842698 Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

 

Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Britney Spears Smells Of Clowns’ Farts

 Britney Spears Smells Of Clowns Farts

BRITNEY Spears is back. And to herald her return to Anorak’s pages, a new perfume. Her sheets have been scraped, her towels wrung out over a buckets and her underwear and hair ground to a fine powder. And you can now smell of Circus Fantasy.

According to the blurb:

The spectacle opens with juicy accords of sugar-coated raspberry and apricot blossom, reminiscent of tempting candy.

It’s stickier than Noddy’s bell on the roundabout.

The magic continues as blue peony, waterlily and addictive red sweetheart orchid take the limelight with delicious sensations and exhilarating temptations. The grand finale is a captivating sense of seductive sensuality, blending sweet vanilla wood, creamy musks and violet candy.

To recap: smells of lion’s breath and clown farts.

Comes in handy atomiser – see above.

Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


FLASHBACK to 03/11/1973: Celebrities Pose For Paul McCartney’s Band On The Run

PA 16110861 2 FLASHBACK to 03/11/1973: Celebrities Pose For Paul McCartneys Band On The Run

FLASHBACK to  03/11/1973: Faces of celebrities in various walks of life illustrate the cover of a new long-playing record, Band on the Run, from the Paul McCartney group, Wings. From left,…

Well, can you name them all? Scroll down for the famous names, or VIPs , as they were called back then:

*

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Posted: 14th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Great Ads: Jean-Claude Van Damme Splits for Volvo

GREAT Ads: Jean-Claude Van Damme for Volvo:

Posted: 14th, November 2013 | In: Cars, Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Sun Employs ‘Lying, Cheating’ Katie Hopkins

PA 4790328 The Sun Employs Lying, Cheating Katie Hopkins

COMPARE and contrast:

Lorraine Kelly comment: Lying cheating Katie of The Apprentice won’t get another job –  P11 of the Sun, Saturday, June 9, 2007

A white poppy is utter poppycock - Feisty … Katie Hopkins is our new columnist – The Sun, November 1, 2013

“Lying, cheating Katie ” did work again!

Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ray Davies Reviews The Beatles Revolver: ‘Really It’s A Load Of Rubbish’

IN 1966, The Kinks; Ray Davis reviewed the The Beatles’ Revolver for Disc and Music Echo magazine.

kinks beatles Ray Davies Reviews The Beatles Revolver: Really Its A Load Of Rubbish

 

Here’s Ray:

Side One:

“Taxman” – “It sounds like a cross between the Who and Batman. It’s a bit limited, but the Beatles get over this by the sexy double-tracking. It’s surprising how sexy double-tracking makes a voice sound.”

“Eleanor Rigby” – “I bought a Haydn LP the other day and this sounds just like it. It’s all sort of quartet stuff and it sounds like they’re out to please music teachers in primary schools. I can imagine John saying: ‘I’m going to write this for my old schoolmistress’. Still it’s very commercial.”

“I’m Only Sleeping” – “It’s a most beautiful song, much prettier than ‘Eleanor Rigby’. A jolly old thing, really, and definitely the best track on the album.

“Love You Too” – “George wrote this – he must have quite a big influence on the group now. This sort of song I was doing two years ago – now I’m doing what the Beatles were doing two years ago. It’s not a bad song – it’s well performed which is always true of a Beatles track.”

“Here There and Everywhere” – “This proves that the Beatles have got good memories, because there are a lot of busy chords in it. It’s nice – like one instrument with the voice and the guitar merging. Third best track on the album.”

“Yellow Submarine” – “”This is a load of rubbish, really. I take the mickey out of myself on the piano and play stuff like this. I think they know it’s not that good.”

“She Said She Said” – “This song is in to restore confidence in old Beatles sound. That’s all.”

 

PA 8643002 Ray Davies Reviews The Beatles Revolver: Really Its A Load Of Rubbish

“Good Day Sunshine” – “This’ll be a giant. It doesn’t force itself on you, but it stands out like ‘I’m Only Sleeping’. This is back to the real old Beatles. I just don’t like the electronic stuff. The Beatles were supposed to be like the boy next door only better.”

“And Your Bird Can Sing” – “Don’t like this. The song’s too predictable. It’s not a Beatles song at all.”

“Dr. Robert” - “It’s good – there’s a 12-bar beat and bits in it that are clever. Not my sort of thing, though.”

“I Want To Tell You” – “This helps the LP through though it’s not up to the Beatles standard.”

“Got To Get You Into My Life” – “Jazz backing – and it just goes to prove that Britain’s jazz musicians can’t swing. Paul’s sings better jazz than the musicians are playing which makes nonsense of people saying jazz and pop are very different. Paul sounds like Little Richard. Really, it’s the most vintage Beatles track on the LP.”

“Tomorrow Never Knows” – “Listen to all those crazy sounds! It’ll be popular in discotheques. I can imagine they had George Martin tied to a totem pole when they did this.”

“This is the first Beatles LP I’ve really listened to in it’s entirety but I must say there are better songs on ‘Rubber Soul’. Still, ‘I’m Only Sleeping’ is a standout. ‘Good Day Sunshine is second best and I also like ‘Here, There and Everywhere.’ But I don’t want to be harsh about the others. The balance and recording technique are as good as ever.”

Ends.

Discover 14 Neglected Beatles Gems

Spotter: Open Culture

Posted: 12th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Abbey Clancy Wear’s Julien Macdonald’s Table Runner (Photos)

ABBEY Clancy, Strictly Come Dancing pro-celeb hoofer and wife to footballer Peter Crouch (What would you be if you weren’t a footballer, Peter? PC: “A virgin”) wore Julien Macdonald’s patchwork of seaside beach flags to The Brave Gala at Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, London. Signs are that Dear Abbey thought it was contest for who could be bravest.

Our pick of the photos, though, is not Abbey holding the seat of her patriotic table runner in the manner of Justin Bieber with a full pull-up, but she and Julien gazing into each other’s teeth.

PA 18141761 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos)

PA 18141734 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos) PA 18141735 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos) PA 18141745 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos) PA 18141747 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos) PA 18141749 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos) PA 18141797 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos)  PA 18141811 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos) PA 18141891 Abbey Clancy Wears Julien Macdonalds Table Runner (Photos)

Posted: 12th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tati Nevas On Sleeping Justin Bieber: ‘Justin Has So Much Stamina’

 

 Tati Nevas On Sleeping Justin Bieber: Justin Has So Much Stamina

MEET Brazilian Tati Nevas, 27. She’s the star of that video of shirtless constipate abs brat Justin Bieber sleeping in bed. She says:

“Take it from me, he’s well endowed — and very good in bed.”

Polygraph!

 “A man must know what to do to make me happy — Justin did all that and more.”

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Posted: 12th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pop Tributes: Johnny Cash Converters, Epsom

EVER on the look out for great pop tributes, her’s the Johnny Cash Converters in Epsom.

johnny cash converter Pop Tributes: Johnny Cash Converters, Epsom

 

 

Spotter

Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rod Stewart And The Faces Rock The Marquee Club In 1970

facespromo Rod Stewart And The Faces Rock The Marquee Club In 1970

ROD Stewart and the rest of The Faces played London’s Marquee Club in December of 1970. Ron Wood, Kenny Jones, Ronnie Lane, Ian McLagen never looked better than in this video recorded for German TV “WDR”.

If the camera was any closer, one sniff and you’d be inside one of rock’s greatest noses:

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nazi Uniforms: Sid Vicious, Peter Rabbit, Prince Harry And Other People Who Still Wear Them

Nazi1 Nazi Uniforms: Sid Vicious, Peter Rabbit, Prince Harry And Other People Who Still Wear Them

PAUL Dutton, 48, was ejected from his local branch of Asda in Cambridge, after a fellow shopper complained about his attire – a classic formal black suit of the type produced by Hugo Boss in the 1940s.

Unfortunately this suit happened to closely resemble the uniform of Hitler’s notorious SS, and even more unfortunately the resemblance was entirely uncoincidental. Mr Dutton’s “hobby” is Adolf Hitler, you see, and his fascination is such that his living room boasts a painting of himself being decorated by the Fuhrer – a man who once earned an honest living decorating people’s homes as a housepainter.

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts, Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Customer Letters: The Perils Of Watching Thor: The Dark World In 3D

thor  Customer Letters: The Perils Of Watching Thor: The Dark World In 3D

Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Film, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sacha Baron Cohen Kills Elderly Lady During Acceptance Speech

PA 18154906 Sacha Baron Cohen Kills Elderly Lady During Acceptance Speech

AT this year’s  British Academy of Film and Television Arts’ (BAFTA) Britannia Awards in Los Angeles, Sacha Baron Cohen was awarded some kind of gong for being brave and, presumably, funny.

However, he ended up killing an old woman who was in a wheelchair. You can see the video below.

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Red Hot Chili Peppers Drummer Gets Death Threats For ‘Wiping His Bum’ With A Flamengo Shirt

12016321 1 Red Hot Chili Peppers Drummer Gets Death Threats For ‘Wiping His Bum’ With A Flamengo Shirt

WITH the Red Hot Chili Peppers in Brazil for a concert, drummer Chad Smith went to the Hard Rock Cafe in Belo Horizonte and earned the wrath of Flamengo fans.Why? Well, during the drum clinic a fan in the crowd handed Smith  a Flamengo shirt. Smith duly stuffed it down his bum crack and then tossed it away.

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Woman From Volantis: Lady Gaga Shows Us Her Flying Dress

lady gaga flying dress The Woman From Volantis: Lady Gaga Shows Us Her Flying Dress

TO herald the release of her album ARTPOP. Lady Gaga stood at New York’s Brooklyn Navy Yard and showcased the Volantis transport prototype “flying dress.”  She said: ”Although she is a vehicle, she, is essentially a metaphor for me.” 

She is her own biggest fan.

Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Miley Cyrus Smokes A Joint On Stage For The Oral Thrush

MILEY Cyrus is entertaining, in much the same way that someone else’s child having a meltdown in the restaurant is interesting. At the MTV Europe Music Awards in Amsterdam, Miley was spanked by a dwarf, wore two dead rappers on her buttocks (pictures but, you know, if it gets attention ,dig ‘em up), twerked, accepted a Best Video award for Wrecking Ball and broadcast a naked shower selfie.

cyrus Miley Cyrus Smokes A Joint On Stage For The Oral Thrush

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0