Celebrities | Anorak - Part 20

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Phwoar: Cop a load of Liam Gallagher’s manboobs

liam gallagher moobs


Liam Gallagher is not as hard as his brother Noel, who survived being autograph hunted by Tony Blair. Physically, Liam’s a cloud of manboobs. We know this because Robbie Williams saw Liam in football shorts and nylons and tweeted: “Oh that reminds me @liamgallagher – I’ve got to take my old bra’s to the charity shop.” This follows Liam’s comment on Williams back in 2013. “We should be playing the Etihad three nights, not some f***ing fat f***ing idiot,” he told BBC 5Live. And, of course, Noel described Williams as “that fat dancer from Take That”.

In the old days being fat would have made you a jolly figure of fun. Now it means you’re a loser worthy of insult. But portly Gallagher and burly Williams should realise they are simply moving through life with their fatter-by-the-year fans. If the singers could forgo the evergreen and full ‘rock star’ hair they could blend in with the crowds at any 1990s revival show.

Posted: 20th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Joey Essex’s new love Charlotte Stuchfield ‘flashes’ the Daily Mail pap pervs

Professional to-deadline dimwit Joey Essex is dating Charlotte Stuchfield. He had been romancing air hostesses Bethany Hitch but, as the Sun reports, tired of her “always being in the sky”. A source is quoted: “It was tough maintaining a relationship with an air stewardess. At least Charlotte only lives up the road.”

But where the Sun does it with humour – Joey, mate, Hitch doesn’t live in the sky, footballers don’t live on the pitch and waiters don’t live in McDonald’s – the Mail goes on the attack. In place of actual knowledge about Miss Stuchfield (the Mirror calls her a “mystery brunette”), the Mail produces three photos of the couple leaving an London eatery and news that the Essex’s latest flame “flashed her sideboob in a knitted top which gaped at the sides”.

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Posted: 19th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Sun’s Dan Wootton mocks ‘bloated’ George Michael

The Sun is copying the Daily Mail’s habit of being shocked and amazed that famous faces have gotten older. Today, the Sun’s Dan Wootton brings us “Careless Wispa – EXCLUSIVE: Fears for ‘bloated’ George Michael as he piles on 3st”.

This is Wootton who launched his ‘No More Skinny’ campaign in the Sun, calling on fatter models and the end to the skinny obsession “madness” that does “so much damage to our body-conscious youngsters”.

Today Wootton says an “onlooker” spotted “BLOATED George Michael” at an exhibition of British pop artist Allen Jones at Zurich’s Baur au Lac hotel.

The witness says:

“He attended as it started to get dark. It was clearly George, but it was pretty shocking to see how he looked.”

No. It wasn’t. He’s 51. He looks pretty good, especially for a man so grotesque he goes out only under cover of darkness:


Screen shot 2015-06-17 at 07.51.35



To further prove just how horrible George looks, Wootton invites readers to compare the singer now with how he looked in 1983.



Screen shot 2015-06-17 at 07.52.58


Wow, indeed, Dan. Singer gets older. Read all about it!


Posted: 17th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Lauren Goodger and Mark Wright outshine a lobster in Dubai

Pro-celebrity hoofer and neon-hued The Only Way Is Essex survivor Mark Wright is newly married to fanciable soap actress Michelle Keegan. The couple have been on honeymoon in the fascistic enclave of Dubai. And the Daily Mirror has a question:

Did Lauren Goodger gatecrash Mark and Michelle’s honeymoon?

Goodger, who sounds like a Chas ‘n’ Dave grunt, once dated the buffed Wright. And now she is the subject of what might be the celebrity sentence of the year:

Next to a picture of a bronzed Lauren sipping a glass of champagne and sitting in front of a huge lobster dinner, she wrote: “Dubai my holidays.”

Having created an entirely new way of speaking in describing Goodger in the third third person, the Mirror then shares this photo. Do not adjust your monitor. It’s not easy to out-glow a cooked lobster in the searing Dubai heat but Goodger has cracked it:


Next to a picture of a bronzed Lauren sipping a glass of champagne and sitting in front of a huge lobster dinner, she wrote: "Dubai my holidays."


Wright saw the photo, smashed a few coconuts and decided that it’d be dignified to respond in public:

“Endless mentions RE: me and us is embarrassing. I really thought after lawyers being involved and polite pleas to stop mentioning me she… would stop. Maybe not. It’s hurtful to think one person needs to mention YOU every week to earn a living. Being married to another woman almost makes it unfair!! [sic]… If you’re reading this, please PLEASE respect my wife and STOP. Everyone has a past, get over it!! I really didn’t want to have to do this but enough is enough. I wish you well but leave me, my life and my wife out it. I’m sure there are other ways to make money [sic].”

Having left his wife out of it by mentioning her in series of tweets, Wright then published this photo of himself apparently empathising with that lobster:




He’s the one that got away, Lauren.

Posted: 11th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Watch Future Shock: in 1972 Alvin Toffler’s film excited our human response to over-stimulation

American writer Alvin Toffler poses during portrait session held on July 3, 1980 in Paris, France.

American writer Alvin Toffler poses during portrait session held on July 3, 1980 in Paris, France.


Those good people at Disinfo point us towards Future Shock, the film based on Alvin Toffler’s 1970 book. Released in 1972, Orson Welles narrates.

Alvin Toffler notes:

“We may define future shock as the distress, both physical and psychological, that arises from an overload of the human organism’s physical adaptive systems and its decision-making processes… Put more simply, future shock is the human response to over-stimulation…”

This is Future Shock…


Posted: 11th, June 2015 | In: Film, Reviews, Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Read Laura Huxley’s letter about injecting husband Aldous with LSD on his deathbed


British writer Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963) sits with a newspaper on his lap, 1930s.

British writer Aldous Huxley (1894 – 1963) sits with a newspaper on his lap, 1930s.


On 22 November 1963, on the same day President Kennedy was assassinated, Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World and The Doors of Perception, died of the cancer that had been destroying him for three years. On his deathbed, Huxley asked his wife Laura to inject him with uncut LSD. She did.

Laura would attest (via):

“All five people in the room said that this was the most serene, the most beautiful death. Both doctors and the nurse said they had never seen a person in similar physical condition going off so completely without pain and without struggle.”

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Posted: 11th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Homemade Dutch sex toys (the video)

dutch homemade sex toys


The video to Dutch band De Jeugd van Tegenwoordig’s tune Elektrotechnique features DIY sex toys. If they remind you of happier times, do tell us how they work and if nails or glue is better:



Spoter: DM

Posted: 10th, June 2015 | In: Music, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Watch 3AM Orson Welles’ ‘antipathetic’ porno

orson welles porn


In 1975, Orson Welles edited a scence from the porno movie 3 A.M.

Josh Karp spotted the master’s work in researching his book Orson Welles’s Last Movie: The Making of The Other Side of the Wind. He says Welles “wound up editing a hard-core lesbian shower scene that he couldn’t resist cutting in Wellesian fashion with low camera angles and other trademark flair.”

Welles’ editing was triggered by a desire to free up cinematographer and Gary Graver, who had returned to working on skin flicks to pay the bills. Graver directed 3 A.M under the nom-de-smut Robert McCallum.

Welles knew his porn:


Spoter: Vulture

Posted: 9th, June 2015 | In: Film, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Bow Wow’s groupie guide to having sex with a self-absorbed voyeur



Dear Bow Wow, I have casual sex with the female fans. But how can I have my cake and eat it?

Bow Wow considers the question on his Instagram.

Yo i see yall boys still young rich and DUMB. Now james is my boy but let me say this now. This is how i USE to do it its called “leaving no evidence” if you was chilling w me my security takes phones and you signing papers. The rule is when she leaves she gets her phone back.

Dumb James is pro basketball player James Harden, seen with a fan in the above photo.

Bow Wow never talks to a groupie without first tucking a pen into his knickers.


Secondly if u forgot to take phone make sure she sleep then find her phone (usually by side of bed) i would take it put it under the bed so i KNOW im good and could sleep peacefully.

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Posted: 5th, June 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Richard Blackwood doesn’t know what zest is




On BBC TV cooking show Number 650b, zesty Richard Blackwood is proving that there is still work to do:

Posted: 1st, June 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The animated Joni Mitchell talks about being a reluctant star


Blank on Blank’s animated video features Joni Mitchell in conversation with record executive Joe Smith back in 1986 .

More in Smith’s book Off the Record.

Spotter: Open Culture, via Flashbak

Posted: 27th, May 2015 | In: Music | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Pregnant Samia Ghadie’s magic number

Samia Ghadie and her lover, Sylvian Longchambon are talking with OK! about their love, pregnancy, their love and pregnancy. It’s the cover story on this sweek’s OK!, and the treat will be seeing how the magazine can eke the two-pronged assault out for 11 pages of lover and pregnancy.

Things begin well for the couple who met on ITV’s pro-celebrity ice-sking show Dancing On Ice – some irony that a contest on the most treacherous surface should produce such a rock solid love bond now two-years in the telling.

The story can be told in an extended highlights package.

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Posted: 27th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Benny Green will always be the first boy into Grange Hill (video)

benny green


RIP Terry Sue-Patt, dead at the too-young at 50. You played Benny Green in TV’s brilliant (well, in the early day it was) Grange Hill. You stood up to Gripper in 1978.

I’m not going to investigate Mr Sue-Pratt’s life. When an actor dies, there’s no need to pick over the bones of somebody most of us never knew and didn’t care about. Better to recall what made him famous, and what pleasure he gave us.

This is episode 1 of Grange Hill. It’s shamless nostalgia.

For anyone who was at school in those days, this was must-see TV. And, to say it again, it was brilliant:


Posted: 23rd, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Former Thompson Twins singer Alannah Currie stuffs her furniture with roadkill

Alannah Currie furniture


Alannah Currie, once of the three-piece 1980s band The Thompson Twins, now works as an upholsterer.

She says she has hidden poetry and handwritten stories in different parts” of her chairs. And then there is her use of marterials, which is interesting:

The foxes, swan, lamb and blue tit on my chairs are memento mori. I’m a vegetarian, so I did a lot of research to find the right taxidermist who uses animals that die naturally or are roadkill. I had to wait eight months for the swan. As far as fitting the animals into the chairs, I’m very specific. For instance, for the foxes, I measured the back of the chair, drew exactly how I wanted the foxes to be positioned and sent these drawings to the taxidermist. Then I sewed them in when they eventually arrived. All the furniture is made to be robust. It is functional art – there may be a lamb on the chair, but you can lie beside it or use it as a cushion. To me, they are very beautiful but disturbing at the same time.


swan dead


You can see more of her work at Miss Pokeno.



Posted: 19th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Mike Young’s YouTube Channel is the greatest kamikaze karaoke this side of Tokyo

Richard Metzger points us toward the work of Mike Young, whose YouTube channel is a beautiful horror of kamikaze karaoke. A few highlights apepar below:




Enjoy the silence:

Spotter: DM

Posted: 19th, May 2015 | In: Music | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Robin Thicke’s mum and dad have sex to his music

robin thicke sex dad


Sexy times at Chez Thicke, where Robin Thicke’s dad Alan, 68, and wife, Tanya Callau, 40, are talking about their sex lives. News is that when getting down to it they like to have Robin in the room, aurally speaking:

Says Callau:

“When we do get freaky, we love [Robin’s song] ‘Sex Therapy. You have to admit, it’s a great song to get in the mood.”

Who doesn’t use their children as an aphrodisiac? That question to all the parents out there….


Posted: 16th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Watch every time Owen Wilson says ‘Wow’ in a movie

Owen Wilson likes to say “Wow”. If the script contains enough ‘wow’, Owen Wilson is in. Had William Shakespeare wrote “Wow, to be or not to be” or ‘Wow is that a dagger?”, Wilson would have been a fine stage actor.

As it is, he just comes across as a man playing himself on camera.

Here’s a supercut of Wilson and his ‘Hear the Wow’ acting. Watch the full video here.

Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

That interview with Russell Brand made me realise how stupid the Left think we are

Russell BRand Independent


Everything you needed to know about how stupid the high-brow newspapers think tabloid readers, everyone on the web and the youth are is encapsulated in an Independent headline.

This interview with Russell Brand could well win Ed Miliband the next General Election

Undaunted by the glaringly obvious conclusion that Russell Brand’s influence over the electorate is on a par with John Snow’s socks, the Indy tells its readers that Ed Miliband’s walk through his home echo chamber really mattered to the more go-head members of society:

Ed Miliband’s attempt to break the log jam by making a late-night dash to Russell Brand’s flat was the one moment which left traditional media flat-footed. His interview on Brand’s Trews YouTube channel has been watched by 1.2 million people, many of whom would never consider watching Newsnight.

How many of those 1.2 million were journalists on the social media news beat is possibly in the high hundreds of thousands. And mention of the BBC’s post-Jeremy Paxman, post- Jimmy Savile Newsnight is apt. That show’s desperation to attract a younger audience also featured the preening, anti-intellectual Brand, this time talking with the show’s Evan Davis.

It was an excruciating verbal dad-dance of BBC-sanctioned rebellion.

Brendan O’Neill saw it all:

Hilariously, the very same people who accuse the Murdoch papers of brainwashing their readers into voting for the Tories – such undiluted snobbery – believed that a celeb with a webcam and a lively Twitter presence could simply click his fingers and get the hordes voting Labour. But he couldn’t. And it isn’t hard to see why. It’s because people aren’t idiots. They want substance, seriousness, not finger-wagging gags about EVIL TORIES and instructions to ‘save Britain’ by giving the nod to Ed.

Forget middle-aged, middle-brow, David Icke-lite Russell Brand. The cool-hunting adults should invite Jake Yapp on instead – he’s cheaper and funnier:


Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Listen as fans react to seeing Star Wars for the first time in 1977

As Star Wars: Episode VII gets ready to hit the silver screen, you can listen to what it was like watching the first film in 1977. Youtuber William Forsche recorded his trip to the movies 18 years ago. He writes:

“You can also hear me making laser beam sounds at the end of this recording, because Star Wars got me all fired up!”


Is anyone as excited about this film?

Posted: 8th, May 2015 | In: Film | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

UKIP-lite Russell Brand Occupues Ed Miliband: Reactions To The Trews



Russell Brand isn’t registered to vote. But he says you should vote Labour, unless you live in Brighton, where you should vote Green. Also, Scots should only vote for a Scot – “If you’re Scottish, you don’t need an English person telling what do to do…” Brand the revolutionary likes fixeed boaders and nationhood. He’s wary of foreigners. He sounds a bit UKIPy.

Also, he’s made his views known after the closing date for voter registration. So, Brandios, get in your times machines and vote soon and vote often for a  UKIP-Green-Labour-SNP coalition.

What do we make of this? Helping us are the newspapers experts.

Owen Jones (Guardian):

He has nearly 10 million Twitter followers; his YouTube interview with Ed Miliband received well over a million hits and counting; he is listened to by hundreds of thousands of disillusioned Britons, particularly young people who have been repeatedly kicked over the last few years. Russell Brand matters.

Sure: Russell Brand entertains.

And however much bluff and bluster the Tories now pull – maybe more playground abuse from David Cameron, who called Brand a “joke” – his endorsement of Labour in England and Wales will worry them.

More people have registered to vote than ever before: between the middle of March and the deadline to register, nearly 2.3 million registered, over 700,000 of them 24 years old or younger. In countless marginal seats, disillusioned voters who were either going to plump for a protest party or not vote at all could well decide whether we are ruled by David Cameron, George Osborne and Iain Duncan Smith for another half a decade.

They could. They could not.

Naturally, Brand’s endorsement is being portrayed as a giant U-turn, and sure enough, he has abandoned his “no vote” stance.

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Posted: 5th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Maya PlisetskayaI: ‘I would like to talk about Swan Lake and my handsome partners but it all revolves around Stalin’s terror’

Close-Up Of Maya Plisetskaya

Close-Up Of Maya Plisetskaya


“I would like to talk about ‘Sleeping Beauty’ and ‘Swan Lake,’ about my battements and my handsome partners,” wrote ballerina Maya Plisetskaya, who has died at the age of 89. “But whichever way I look at my childhood, it all revolves around politics and Stalin’s terror.”

Her New York Times’ obituary tells us:

Her father was shot to death in 1938 in Stalin’s purges. (Ms. Plisetskaya learned the date of his death only in 1989.) Her mother was arrested and sent to a labor camp with her infant son, then exiled to Kazakhstan….

Ms. Plisetskaya was… restricted by the Bolshoi’s rigid Soviet guidelines on choreography, which viewed the very movement of dance through the prism of ideology, yet she was able to infuse stultified, literal movements with much deeper meaning….

“I danced all of classical ballet and dreamed of something new,” she said. “In my time, it was impossible.”


855342 01.03.1961 Майя Плисецкая в балете на музыку С.Прокофьева "Ромео и Джульетта". Большой театр СССР (ныне Государственный академический театр оперы и балета России). Михаил Озерский/РИА Новости


Art matters.

But it was a career that was far from plain sailing. She first sparked scandal in 1967 after a meeting in Moscow with Cuban choreographer Alberto Alonso, who, as a citizen of a friendly communist country, was allowed to create for her the Carmen Suite.

“Carmen – where every gesture, every look, every movement had meaning, was different from all other ballets … The Soviet Union was not ready for this sort of choreography,” Plisetskaya said. “It was war, they accused me of betraying classical dance.”


Posted: 4th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

1974: Iggy Pop Performs ‘Murder of the Virgin’ at Rodney Bingenheimer’s English Disco

On August 11, 1974, Iggy Pop performed an improvised play called ‘Murder of the Virgin’ at Rodney Bingenheimer’s English Disco on August 11,1974 in Los Angeles, California. Iggy Pop wasn’t always a car insurance salesman…

Spotter: Flashbak

Posted: 29th, April 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Ed Miliband gets egged in Russell Brand’s kitchen

When Ed Miliband popped over to anti-voting comedian Russell Brand for a televised chat in the kitchen, the papers reacted. What do the tabloids make of Ed’s meeting of minds?

As ever the photos the tabloids chose to use are telling:

The Sun has Ed Miliband on its front page:


brand miliband 1


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Posted: 29th, April 2015 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Courtney Stodden sex tape is here: see the preview stills and thrills

Screen shot 2015-04-29 at 08.32.21Celebrity sex tapes give perps and pervs the chance to see a famous face and body in the throes of passion. The more unlikley the sex tape star, the more seductive the skin flick. So. News that America’s penumatic sweetheart Courtney Stodden is offering her working genitals for public consumption will need considerable marketing.

Stodden is the cartoonish, pumpkin-chested teen who married weathered older actor Doug Hutchison. Together they put on a pretty captivating circus.

As for the content of this stright-to-tissues movie, TMZ says Stodden’s film is in tune with the sex lives of her porno fans, what with it being a “solo effort”. This is post-modern porn. And it’s amay-zing, as Vivid Entertainment founder Steven Hirsch enthuses: “Looks amazing, this is the most unique footage I’ve ever seen.” Unique porn is hard to find – some of the stuff out there is niche. Nothing is safe.


Spotter: Gawker

Posted: 29th, April 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

On Direction: Louis Tomlinson does something really dull



Pop Star Takes Drugs! Like you, we too are shocked by the Sun’s front-page news that Louis Tomlinson, of One Direction, has wiled away the time by rolling “what appears to be a joint”. It is a “cannabis storm” – which sounds great it you’re a stoner. The real shock in this story, however, is that Tomlinson should be filmed skinning up mainstream, stupifying drugs in “the four-star Soho Hotel”.

We live in straigthened times, readers. Once upon a time, pop stars did imaginative things with pricey drugs and fish in expansive five-star suites or low-down dens in debauchery. Now we are expected to be excited by a pop star sharing a cab with some mates and billing up in a mid-ranking hotel one review damns are being popular with “media types”.

If he were any more middle-of-the-road and Louis Timlinson would be a dead hedgehog…






Posted: 24th, April 2015 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0