Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 20

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Gary Barlow Finds Twitter Q&A Session Rather Taxing

PA 17939756 1 Gary Barlow Finds Twitter Q&A Session Rather Taxing

SINCE Take That hung up their microphones after their last tour, Gary Barlow has kept himself busy by starring on TV as an X Factor judge. He’s also recorded a new album that sounds like Mumford & Sons, which caused hipster folk bands to create a giant pyre of fiddles and ukuleles.

So, to promote the new LP, he took to Twitter for a Q&A. A chance for Barlow to hear from his fans, right? Well, sadly for Gary, he found that most questions focused on one thing – tax avoidance.

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Posted: 22nd, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


James Arthur Cancels All Engagements Thanks To ‘Exhaustion’, Which No-one Believes

PA 17467296 1 James Arthur Cancels All Engagements Thanks To Exhaustion, Which No one Believes

HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right!

That’s the general consensus which met the statement that James Arthur is cancelling all his engagements after being diagnosed with acute exhaustion.

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Posted: 22nd, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mark Caldwell Interviews Tim Curry About The Rocky Horror Picture Show 1975

rocky horror Mark Caldwell Interviews Tim Curry About The Rocky Horror Picture Show 1975

 

PLAYING the role was physically demanding:

 

Spotter: The End of Being

Posted: 22nd, November 2013 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Meat Industry In An Eye-Opening Six Minute Video Of Sterile Death And Fat

SAMSARA food sequence from Baraka & Samsara is a six-minute section of their longer film on life.

Director Ron Fricke and producer Mark Magidson created SAMSARA (a Sanskrit word that means “the ever turning wheel of life”).

This section deals with cheap protein.

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Posted: 22nd, November 2013 | In: Film, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallagher’s Top 17 Insults

LIAM And Noel Gallagher love a good put-downs. Here are some of there best. It might even be a top ten.

 

Liam on Pete Doherty

doherty twat Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“What does the word Libertine mean? Freedom!. He’s in the corner doing smack with a helmet on his head. There’s nothing free about that. It’s nasty.”

 

 

Noel on George Harrison:

PA 8669070 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“George was always the ‘Quiet Beatle’, maybe he should keep that up”

 

 

Noel On Liam:

PA 1031411 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“I read these interviews with him and I don’t know who the guy is who’s in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I’ve been in a band with for the last 18 years is a fu*king knobhead.”

 

 

Noel on Jack White

PA 6137134 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

 

“Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts.”

 

 

Noel on Madonna

madonna Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“Six hours! In a gym! You sleep for eight, right – so that’s 14 gone already. What do you do with your one hour off? Do you want to get so supple that you can eventually stick your own head up your arse?”

 

 

Liam on Bono (Mr G9)

PA 6061811 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“Play ‘One,’ shut the fu*k up about Africa.”

 

Noel (Manchester City fan) on Gary Neville (former Manchester United player)

PA 7111328 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“If Mr Neville continues to use the holy scriptures of Oasis to communicate with the Cockney massive, I shall be forced to come up to Cheshire in the middle of the night and break into his house. I will then tie him to a chair, make him listen to the ‘Best of Simply Red’ while I pull his tash out one grey hair at a time, with my teeth, liberate those Oasis CD’s and shit in his manbag. You have been warned!”

 

 

Noel on Westlife

PA 1240928 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“There is no God.”  

 

 

Noel on Victoria Beckham

 

PA 1270423 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

“WHY IS POSH BECKHAM WRITING A F***ING BOOK OF HER MEMOIRS? SHE CAN’T EVEN CHEW CHEWING GUM AND WALK IN A F***ING STRAIGHT LINE AT THE SAME TIME, LET ALONE WRITE A BOOK.”

 

 

Noel on Liam

PA 1056632 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

“Liam got a Rolex. I got a Rolls Royce. Which is brilliant, cos I can’t drive and Liam can’t tell the time.”

 

 

Noel on the media and Jay Z

 

 

 

Noel on Liam

PA 1532535 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“He is Abbott to my Costello, he is Cannon to my Ball, he is Little to my Large”

 

 

Noel on Tim Lovejoy

 

PA 9272809 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

Tim: “It was Liam’s birthday the other day weren’t it?”
Noel:”It was.”
Tim:”What did you get him?”
Noel:”(laughs) Nothing, we’re not girls, Tim..”

 

 

Noel on Blue

PA 838097 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“I wish Blur were dead, John Lennon was alive and the Beatles would reform.”

 

 

Noel on Liam

 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

 

“He thinks he’s Abel, for some weird reason. And I thought ‘right, well if you think you’re Abel, that must make me Cain. Didn’t Cain kill Abel?’”

 

 

Noel on Lady Gaga

 

PA 18010538 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

“TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW, WILL WE LISTEN TO LADY GAGA? NO. SHE MIGHT THINK SHE IS MAKING A STAND FOR THE FREAKS AND THE WEIRDOS. BUT THEY’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY DECENT F***ING MUSIC TO PLAY ARE THEY?”

 

 

Noel on Liam

PA 1068731 Oasis Brothers Liam & Noel Gallaghers Top 17 Insults

“Liam? He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”

 

Watch this space…

Posted: 21st, November 2013 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


For Sale: Huge Collection Of Kate Garraway Photos Taken From The TV

KAT Garraway isn’t always on the telly. And when the fruity mare isn’t why not slap a few photos of her over the screen?

for sale For Sale: Huge Collection Of Kate Garraway Photos Taken From The TV

 

Spotter: @pgofton

Posted: 21st, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daniel Radcliffe Says Celebs Can’t Expect Privacy If They Go On Twitter

PA 17944391 Daniel Radcliffe Says Celebs Cant Expect Privacy If They Go On Twitter

THANKS to Daniel Radcliffe, we’ve just finished rummaging around Rihanna and Limmy’s bins because, because he just gave everyone permission to be a nosy parker. He said that celebrities using social media cannot expect privacy if they’re posting updates around the clock.

This is why he has steered clear of social media. Presumably, the Harry Potter star has maximum privacy from paps and the like.

“I don’t have Twitter and I don’t have Facebook and I think that makes things a lot easier,” he told Sky News. ”If you go on Twitter and tell everybody what you’re doing moment to moment and then claim you want a private life, no one is going to take that request seriously.”

He added that there were “certain things you can do to make it a lot easier on yourself” as a famous face.

“If you don’t, for instance, go to premieres that aren’t for a film you’re in, or don’t just turn up at other events and stuff like that, then that’s going to help to not fuel the interest”.

George Clooney, only last week, said something similar to Radcliffe’s views on social media, telling Esquire magazine that he couldn’t understand “why any famous person would ever be on Twitter”, adding: ”Why on God’s green earth would you be on Twitter? Because first of all, the worst thing you can do is make yourself more available, right?”

Of course, it is completely fine for some people to not want Twitter, but really, you would’ve thought that two smart people like George and Daniel would’ve realised that being online isn’t the same as opening your front door to someone. By their reasoning, anyone on social media loses their right to privacy, even if they’re not famous and not tweeting about where they are and what they’re doing.

This all reeks of those times awful, dreadful, pretentious bands say that they’re not doing any interviews to promote their albums. What this actually means is that they’re not doing any promotion, to promote their albums.

Either way, those slebs not on Twitter – with any luck, the press will be so curious about them that they’ll end up getting their privacy intruded more than those who are online.

Posted: 21st, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Justin Bieber: ‘I Don’t Give a F*ck’

PA 18254309 Justin Bieber: I Dont Give a F*ck

MANY have waited for Justin Bieber to go a bit mental. When he first came out, he was too saccharine. He was just too sweet. Then, when his balls decided to drop, he started acting up. He got a bunch of tattoos, swore at some press people, nearly had a baby with a woman he’d never met and spat off a balcony at his fans.

How we all cheered that a young man’s brain was imploding!

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Posted: 20th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Rolling Stones Were Proud To Withstand ‘Under-Age Sex’ – The 1994 Poster And T-Shirt

PA 13051165 The Rolling Stones Were Proud To Withstand Under Age Sex   The 1994 Poster And T Shirt

 

ONCE upon a time “underage sex” was a selling point used by The Rolling Stones’ marketing department. Back in 1994 for the Stones’ Voodoo Lounge tour, the legend went:

“Stones Withstand Divorce, Slander, Rip-Offs, Slagging, Under-Age Sex, Alcohol, Drugs”

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Posted: 19th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Music, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watsky’s 30ft Stage Dive Goes Wrong… Wanna See The Video?

 Watskys 30ft Stage Dive Goes Wrong... Wanna See The Video?MUSICIANS are adorable aren’t they? They’re never too bright and they get silly ideas and see them through without thinking about it. Look at Johnny Borrell’s entire career. Look at Thom Yorke thinking he’s a clever man. It’s sweet.

Anyway, rapper Watsky has had to apologise for being ‘stupid and wildly irresponsible’ after leaping from a lighting rig and injuring two people during a London gig.

Performing at the Vans Warped Tour at Alexandra Palace, he decided to climb up the light rigging and leap from 30ft in the air into the crowd.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Noel Edmonds And More Ungodly Horrors: When Radio DJs Invaded The Pop Charts

YOU may or may not be aware, Noel Edmonds is making his way to the pop charts with an unlikely appearance in a dance track (warning, it is rather abrasive).

You can hear it below. Of course, he’s not the first radio DJ to have a stab at the charts, so with that, let us look at some of the weird and wonderful moments in pop music when radio jockeys ended up in the beast they presided over.

Noel Edmonds

Candice Cannes’ Are You Ready features Noel Edmonds in his Deal Or No Deal guise while a woman mutters nonsense in a seductive voice.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pop Go The Beatles: The Golden Age Of The Fab Four At The BBC

THE Beatles At The BBC.

 

London calling all “Beatle People”

 

Beatles1 Pop Go The Beatles: The Golden Age Of The Fab Four At The BBC

 

TWO decades ago, the Great Beatles Revival began with the release of the double CD album Live at the BBC. Like their regular albums, it duly hit number one on both sides of the Atlantic, and shifted no fewer than five million copies in the couple of months. Now the original set has been remastered and reissued simultaneously with a further collection: On Air – Live at the BBC Volume 2.

 

 

Both sets consist of radio interviews and performances from the mid-Sixties, and together they provide a fascinating picture of the biggest band of all time – at a time when such a concept was meaningless. This is an evocative and fascinating reminder of an era in which the Beatles were making their own rules, and bursting exponentially from the cosy confines of post-war light entertainment like a small child outgrowing successive pairs of shoes.

 

Beatles2 Pop Go The Beatles: The Golden Age Of The Fab Four At The BBC

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball In G-Major Is Damn Creepy

WANT to hear  Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball in G-major. To augment the horror, the musical subversive inverted the colours on Miley’s hammer-licking vid.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rave With Mother: Hampshire Police Attacked On Night Of The Living Dead

PA 1746450 Rave With Mother: Hampshire Police Attacked On Night Of The Living Dead

CAN we agree whose side we are on in this story from Beacon Hill, Highclere, in Hampshire?

Around midnight last Saturday, police rocked up to a rave. 

Some of the revellers threw things at Hampshire and Thames Valley Police’s finest. A Hampshire Constabulary spokesman tells us: ”Officers were subjected to violence, including missiles thrown at them, which resulted in six officers sustaining non-serious injuries. It is believed between about 80 and 100 people attended the illegal event. We will continue to take every measure possible to prevent any such illegal music events from happening… in the future.”

Music events should all be legal and policed and licensed. Say no to spontaneity. Like Glastonbury, music should be policed and made reassuringly expensive to keep the riff-raff out.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Blow-Up: When the Swinging Sixties Came to Stockwell

STOCKWELL Road isn’t the most exciting and handsome of roads. It may have been once, but the Luftwaffe and the usual unimaginative sixties south London redevelopment put paid to that. It’s got a skateboard park, if that’s your thing, and David Bowie was born in a road just off it, but even he moved to Bromley when he was six. And that’s about it, to most people in the area it’s just a road that joins up Stockwell and Brixton.

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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Epic Puns: The Lidl Wain Costume

TONIGHT, I’ll be Lidl Wain in a swag carrier bag:

lidle wain Epic Puns: The Lidl Wain Costume

Posted: 17th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Oprah Winfrey: People ‘Disrespect’ Obama Because He’s Black (But Wanting Bush Dead Was OK)

bush shot dead Oprah Winfrey: People Disrespect Obama Because Hes Black (But Wanting Bush Dead Was OK)

OPRAH Winfrey tells the BBC that President Barack Obama attracts “disrespect” because he’s black.

“There’s a level of disrespect for the office that occurs. And that occurs in some cases and maybe even many cases because he’s African American. There’s no question about that and it’s the kind of thing nobody ever says but everybody’s thinking it.”

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Posted: 17th, November 2013 | In: Barack Obama, Celebrities, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

barron knights Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

 

IN 1966 Pete Townshend wrote about the Dipso Asbo Fatso British public. He called it Fat Lazy People.

 

PA 12161646 Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

 

The song was recorded by the Barron Knights, a group famous for spoof songs, such as this Santa-Floyd mash-up

 

 

 

Photo: Easter kiss for Duke D’Mond from his wife Pauline Palmer, at Heathrow Airport saying goodbye to him and his fellow Barron Knights, left to right; Barron Anthony, Dave Ballinger, P’Nut Langford and Buth Baker at the start of a six week tour. Date: 27/03/1970

 

PA 6694072 Pete Towsend And The Barron Knights Sing About Fat Lazy People

 

 

And there was this, a Taste Of Aggro (with apologies to The Smurfs.)

 

 

Before that, The Knights were a proper band whose claim to fame was being the only outfit to tour with both the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

They could, after all, do passable impressions of all the greats:

 

 

Here’s the song: 

Lazy and fat they are, they are.
And because they are all the same..
They laugh and exclaim
“The young are so funny”

They burn in the sun, the sun
And though painfully pink, when it rains
They always complain
“We all paid our money.”

Oh! The lazy fat people
Are a terrible sight to see.
And the lazy fat people will
Get the better of you and me…….

Lazy and fat they are, they are.
Their children diet till thin
To leave more for them
“To save us some money.”

Oh! The lazy fat people will
Try to sit on you and me
If we dont watch out theyll
Get the better of you and me.

How to tell the young from the
Lazy fat is easy to do…..

Take it away, Pete:

Spotter: DM

Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Warped Netmums Say Popstars Are Too Sexy For The Poor Brainless Children

babes Warped Netmums Say Popstars Are Too Sexy For The Poor Brainless Children

APPARENTLY, pop music is just too sexy – so say some tutting parents from the website Netmums (think; Tesco Value Mumsnet). They polled their members and found that 80% of respondents have seen their children singing or repeating sexual lyrics without realising their meaning.

That’s good isn’t it? Children not knowing the sexual connotations of things! That’s bad of the parents though, isn’t it? Letting them listen to whatever they want.

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Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Let Us Look At Andy Kaufman’s Best, While He Fakes His Death

Akaufman1 Let Us Look At Andy Kaufmans Best, While He Fakes His DeathACCORDING to the brother of comedy legend, Andy Kaufman, the star faked his own death in 1984 and is still alive. Appearing at an award show named in Andy’s honour, Michael Kaufman said he had received a letter from his brother, confirming he was alive, in 1999.

He then introduced a woman who claimed to be Andy’s 24-year-old daughter.

Of course, bizarre things like this, farcical situations, uncomfortable silences, half truths and all that fun stuff, followed Andy Kaufman wherever he went. This is likely to be another case.

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Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Miley Cyrus’s Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

miley grandma Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

BY now you’ll be wondering what Miley Cyrus has been up to. Well, she’s got a new tattoo. This one features a face of her grandmother and the legend: “Because I am her favourite & she is mine.”

Grandma is Loretta Finley, mother to Miley’s mother Leticia “Tish” Cyrus.

Letitia and Miley’s father Billy Ray Cyrus have two other children, Braison Chance (born 1994)

 

braison Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

and Noah Lindsey (born 2000).

tish Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

 

Leticia has two other children from a previous relationship: Brandi (born 1987)

brandi Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

 

and Trace (born 1989). 

him Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

And Loretta had her favourite. Look, the rest of you. It says so on Miley’s arm. In yer face, losers.

Christmas dinner should be fun. Right, mum?

 

PA 17842698 Miley Cyruss Granny Tattoo Creates Christmas Mayhem

 

 

Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Britney Spears Smells Of Clowns’ Farts

 Britney Spears Smells Of Clowns Farts

BRITNEY Spears is back. And to herald her return to Anorak’s pages, a new perfume. Her sheets have been scraped, her towels wrung out over a buckets and her underwear and hair ground to a fine powder. And you can now smell of Circus Fantasy.

According to the blurb:

The spectacle opens with juicy accords of sugar-coated raspberry and apricot blossom, reminiscent of tempting candy.

It’s stickier than Noddy’s bell on the roundabout.

The magic continues as blue peony, waterlily and addictive red sweetheart orchid take the limelight with delicious sensations and exhilarating temptations. The grand finale is a captivating sense of seductive sensuality, blending sweet vanilla wood, creamy musks and violet candy.

To recap: smells of lion’s breath and clown farts.

Comes in handy atomiser – see above.

Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


FLASHBACK to 03/11/1973: Celebrities Pose For Paul McCartney’s Band On The Run

PA 16110861 2 FLASHBACK to 03/11/1973: Celebrities Pose For Paul McCartneys Band On The Run

FLASHBACK to  03/11/1973: Faces of celebrities in various walks of life illustrate the cover of a new long-playing record, Band on the Run, from the Paul McCartney group, Wings. From left,…

Well, can you name them all? Scroll down for the famous names, or VIPs , as they were called back then:

*

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Posted: 14th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Great Ads: Jean-Claude Van Damme Splits for Volvo

GREAT Ads: Jean-Claude Van Damme for Volvo:

Posted: 14th, November 2013 | In: Cars, Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0