Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
APPARENTLY Neil Young and Jack White have teamed-up for an album of covers. Seeing as this is two of the most miserable singers on the planet, you can only imagine the size of the raincloud over the studio while they recorded.
We can only hope that Morrissey and Van Morrison get together in a bid to outdo this hugely glum record.
THE French are not known for being particularly prudish. Their great art is filled with tasteful nudes. They have the boobies on the beaches. Their accents make people orgasm on impact. We’ve seen Carla Bruni with no clothes on. The French, it seems, are comfortable with the human form.
Unless you’re Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears it seems, who have had their videos banned by French television.
THE Nicolas Anelka ‘quinelle’ controversy has taken a dramatic new twist, as West Bromwich Albion’s sponsors have threatened to end their shirt contract if the club continues to pick the French striker.
Zoopla are not the first people to find that association with high-profile individuals can be a double-sided sword…
Flashback To Mach 11 1977: Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten Gives The Double V-Sign After He’s Fined For Drugs
FLASHBACK to 11/03/1977: Johnny Rotten, lead singer with the Sex Pistols, giving a double V-sign to journalists after he had been fined £40 on a drugs charge (speed, since you ask) at Marlborough Street Magistrates Court, London.
FOR a vegetarian, Morrissey doesn’t half thrive on beef. Every time he has something to plug, like a second division rapper, he gets out his broadsword and starts thrashing away at anything popular or generally, whatever cross that brain of his.
And now, Moz has inked a deal for his new solo album, with Capitol/Harvest Records looking mediocre sales in the second half of 2014, mainly from the few who use the True To You online fanzine.
ON January 16th of 1980, Paul McCartney was busted for weed. Japanese customs officials at Narita International Airport found 7.7 ounces of cannabis in the former Beatle’s singer’s bags. For his pains – he’d been travelling with his four children and wife, Linda – Macca scored 10-days stay in a Tokyo prison. The Japan leg of the Wings tour was cancelled.
FANS of albums, prepare to boo-hoo as reports state that album sales in That America have dipped to the lowest levels since records began. We should point out we don’t mean ‘long playing records’, but rather, ‘people making a note of how many albums had been sold, which they started doing in 1991′.
‘Since records began’ is much catchier.
THE music streaming service, Spotify, now allows unlimited free listening. This is seen as a great step forward: the company’s technology is getting better, they’re getting better at selling ads and all that sort of stuff. This may or may not be the actual reason they’re lifting their previous limits though:
Spotify’s advertising engine and paid customer conversion funnel are finally working well enough that today it eliminated all limits on free, ad-supported web listening in all countries. It’s an important milestone for the scalability and sustainability of Spotify’s business that contrasts with other streaming music services like Ex.fm and Rdio that are stumbling or shutting down.
EUROVISION gives and gives. This season it’s given us A Belarussian entry by TEO. It’s called Cheesecake. The video is by Robin Thicke’s less saucy cousin.
RECENTLY, a few well-meaning New Yorkers stopped to check on a crying baby in an abandoned stroller and got seriously spooked when a hideous demonic baby shot straight up from beneath the blankets.
FACE of the Day: Susan Boyle is unveiled as chieftain of the pipe band event at the Bathgate Partnership Centre in Scotland. The singer will take up the post at the British Pipe Band Championship 2014.
TOO frequently, the world of entertainment is very willing to pat itself on the back and gush all over itself about just how wonderful it has been all year.
However, with the shade that is the grisly business of an industry awards ceremony, comes the light of someone simply blowing a raspberry at the whole thing and waggling their arses.
Did Somebody Drop His Mouse? Harry Nilsson And The Pensioners Sing ‘I’d Rather Be Dead Than Wet My Bed’
FLASHBACK photo: Deborah Harry of the rock band Blondie visits David Bowie backstage at the Booth Theater where he is starring in The Elephant Man, Nov. 1980. (AP Photo/Nancy Kaye)
THE FAB FOUR had barely left Ed Sullivan’s stage before their songs were being covered like mad across the entire planet. You’d be hard pressed to find a single artist from the mid-sixties to mid-seventies who didn’t have at least one cover in their repertoire. Then royalty rates went up, and it naturally became harder to include a Lennon/McCartney track on an album…. and finally, in July 1978, The Bee Gees famously ruined the idea altogether.
Herein are fifteen from the Golden Age of Beatles Covers – when everyone from Deep Purple to Peter Sellers had a Beatles song to make their own. Enjoy.
NOSTALGIA is a wonderful thing, regardless of what idiots say. 90s kids remember the times they were thin, first started drinking, bought their first pair of flared cords, smoking fags in clubs and kissing people ill-advisedly who wore velvet blazers. Marvellous times, just like everyone’s teenage years.
2013 really was Kanye West’s year. He was brilliant, divisive, outspoken, produced a host of great tracks for other artists, self aggrandised, made a bafflingly good album, argued, made crazy videos, showed off his super hot wife, had a baby, tackled the idea of race head-on and generally gave the world world a shot of energy simply by being.
RECORD collector, artist and New York-based Beatles fan Rutherford Chang has collected 918 first-pressings of 1968’s The White Album, the band’s least butchered album in which George Harrison came into his own.
LETTERS of the Day: In The Daily Express, P. Norman from Liverpool ‘riffs’ on Justin Bieber:
The Sixties – when all Daily Express reader started to buy the paper…
HAYLEY Cropper was dying. Hayley Cropper is not a real person. She’s the work of dramatists at Coronation Street. And she’s dead. No. She’s alive. Hang on… No, Dead. But she could return for a retrospective or Christmas special. That’s the thing with people who aren’t real, they can do things the rest of us can’t. Sherlock can be made to live in today’s London, Tony Blair can be Prime Minister and Hayley can commit suicide rather than die slowly from cancer. It’s something to do with six-month contracts and a prior booking.
The Daily Mail’s paparazzo has “The Last Picture”. But no need to rush out and buy the newspaper because it’s not real news and, in any case, Hayley death is a primetime snuff movie.
THE funny thing about Justin Bieber is just how according-to-type he is. He started off life as a gyrating foetus and slowly turned himself into an enfant-terrible. We could all see it coming. He couldn’t. Gradually, he went from wholesome to brat, eventually landing at ‘troubled’.
In a week where David Cassidy got pulled by cops for drink-driving, AGAIN, Justin Bieber charges down that same path, being the archetypal boy pin-up who lost his way. Once a cutey Christian, Bieber spat and swore until now, where we find ourselves looking at the weirdest bit of criminal damage in pop history.
WITH cinema a feeble force in today’s world of Grab What You Want, When You Want It media, it seems those in charge are determined to make it all even weaker.
Cinema’s make you leave the house, sell you lousy food, half deafen you with badly mixed bass tracks on films, stink up your nostrils with bleach and, worst of all, force you to watch films with dreadful chattering strangers. All for a million pound per viewing.
MEREDITH Hunter. He was the 18-year-old stabbed to death by a Hell’s Angel at the Rolling Stones’ Altamont Free Concert on December 6 1969.
The show took place just four months after Woodstock. This time peace and love did not win out. But it might have done.
Michael Azerrad sets the pre-show scene:
…a scene at a helipad on a pier on San Francisco Bay. The Grateful Dead are there, cavorting in zonked-out hippie fashion, waiting for an overdue helicopter. Jagger comes sweeping in, surveys the unruly scene. and says with amused disbelief to no one in particular, “What is going on?” He gets the lay of the land from a chuckling and ultra-mellow Jerry Garcia, attired in an outtasite lavender wool poncho, and chats warmly with Ian Stewart. The vibe is sweet and playful.
The chopper won’t arrive until 2:00. “Right, film people, let’s do something!” Jagger proclaims. “We’ve got ten minutes.” He pulls some hippie chick aside and imperiously directs the cameraman (probably Albert Maysles) to go “Tighter tighter tighter tighter tighter tighter” on her face, adorned with a groovy beaded headband and massive square shades. He plants a kiss on her forehead and steps away. Then he orders Charlie, poor, long-suffering Charlie, “Do the same thing as I did. Kiss the young lady, please.”
Watts demurs. “Love is much more of a deeper thing than that,” he replies, with mock hauteur, although he clearly kind of means it too. “It’s not flippant, to be thrown away on celluloid. No.”
Jagger laughs at his disobedient drummer. “OK,” he says sheepishly, straight to camera, “we cut.”
And then they headed off to Altamont.
Golden Globes 2014 Highlights: Elisabeth Moss’s Finger Cam, Tina Fey Rocks Clooney And Bono Disses Diddy
THE Golden Globes 2014. Here are the highlights from last night’s Hollywood AGM:
Hats off to Amy Poehler, winner of Best Actress in a Comedy TV Series.
Two hats off to Tina Fey for her Gravity joke that George Clooney would “rather float in space than spend a minute with a woman his own age”. And a big cap off to her for her line: “Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio!”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus looking devilishly bitter puffing on her e-cigarette.
As Hitler’s Boxer Said To The Actress: Silent Anny Ondra Was Hitchcock’s Star Of Britain’s First ‘Talkie’
IN1929 almost everyone in the British film industry was convinced that the newfangled talking films would be nothing but a flash in the pan. But as the director Michael Powell once said of that time, “some flash, some pan”. Hitchcock knew before most that the era of silent films was over – “nobody wants ‘em,” he said to the aforementioned Powell, “they’re a dead duck”. So Hitchcock borrowed some German equipment and halfway through directing Blackmail he started to make a sound version of the same film and this, subsequently, became Britain’s first ‘talkie’.