Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 365

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Big Brother’s Emily Parr

Name: Emily
Age: 19
From: Bristol
Occupation: Student
Status: Single

Motto: “I don’t do losing. I win. Team Emily”

BB exit: Emily Parr Is Evicted From Big Brother For Calling Charley A ‘Nigger’

BB achievement: Inventing skinny jeans

The Future: EastEnders’ latest Sam Mitchell; Front end of panto donkey

The Fall Out: Emily’s giggling in Auschwitz

Emily says she was reading from the age of two and gives herself 10 out of 10 for intelligence. This is all part of her very honest attitude to life, and she says “honesty gets me into trouble – teachers hated me for being so honest. Friends like me for being honest. I expect honesty back”.

Having been involved in drama and the theatre since she was five years old, she now believes that her future lies in the fashion industry and is applying to do a fashion course. She says her dream job would be running a magazine or fashion label.

emily parr.thumbnail Big Brothers Emily ParrPolitically, she considers herself to be right wing and will be voting Conservative in the next election. She says she has no time for benefit cheats, and believes everyone has a right to education, to make money and to keep it.

Her family lived in Puerto Rico for four years but are now back in the UK. Emily and her “gorgeous” 17-year-old twin sisters are known as “the Hilton sisters of Bristol”.
She’s a big Blondie fan, and her current favourite music includes Lily Allen, and new rave acts like CSS and the Klaxons. Her motto is “Live life to the fullest, like it’s your last. Enjoy what’s around you and what’s given to you”.

She thinks Big Brother will change her life, and looks like a big adventure. She believes she’ll be the housemate the public want to watch and would want to be friends with.

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Lily Allen | Comments (283) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Shabnam Paryani

Name: SHABNAM
Age: 22
From: North London
Occupation: Temp receptionist
Status: Single

“I am an enigma, I’m striking in my presence. People love to talk to me and are drawn to me.”

Big Brother Career: Robbie Williams restraining order.

Future: Shabnam ‘n’ Flaky double act in which Shabnam befriends her dandruff and embarks on madcap adventures.

Has No Talent (video); has Dandruff (video). Head and Shoulders advert body double.

shabnam1.thumbnail Big Brothers Shabnam ParyaniShabnam lives at home with her mother, who she gets on with like a sister. She loves people who like their food, especially chocolate, and describes herself as “full of life, vivacious, nuts, passionate, inimitable and striking”. She’d like to be reincarnated as “another enigma” such as Michael Jackson or Johnny Depp.

Shabnam’s main ambition is to travel the world and enjoy life – she wants adventure and spontaneity and her philosophy is “to live each moment to the full, because the moment never comes again.” An energetic chatterbox, make-up mad Shabnam feels people may nominate her for being messy and because her zest for life and high energy might irritate them. “Housemates that would annoy me would be the ones who don’t listen to me…I should really be listened to because I talk a lot of sense.” She adds that she doesn’t like passive people and has a phobia of bees.

Shabnam lasted two days working in McDonalds and once worked in a toy department where she dressed up as Hello Kitty and Mr Men characters. She has never voted because she can’t be bothered.

She thinks Big Brother will let her “fascinating personality” shine through. “You can’t act on Big Brother – you have to be yourself. There is no other way to win.”

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (176) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Chanelle Hayes

Name: CHANELLE
Age: 19
From: Wakefield
Occupation: Student
Status: Single

“I would either like to be famous and rich… or a speech therapist in Spain”

Big Brother Career: Misspelt tattoo. Huge new Spanish onion-styled breasts. Trapped lover too shit-scared of looking like a swine to escape.

Future: The face of pre-soaked conflakes. Flump.

Exit: Whiny.

Chanelle is utterly obsessed with Victoria Beckham and wants to move to Madrid and then LA just like her idol. She recently had her ‘pob’ cut short and bleached blonde to look like Victoria. Chanelle once queued up for hours to meet her heroine at Selfridges, would love to be a professional Victoria Beckham look-a-like – and says she’s definitely not a fan of Rebecca Loos.

chanelle hayes 1.thumbnail Big Brothers Chanelle HayesShe is doing her A-levels and would like to be a speech therapist in Spain, as she loves the country, the climate and culture. She plays the violin to Grade 7, but admits she doesn’t practise as much as she should.

On how she views herself, Chanelle says “I think my personality is fantastic, I wouldn’t change it for anything … but I don’t like my thighs”. She says she is intelligent but lacks common sense, and is “bubbly, crazy, fun, dramatic, over the top”. But she warns that she also holds a grudge.

Chanelle wants to do Big Brother for the fame. “I want people to like me, I want to meet new people, I want to be recognised in the streets”. She says she would like to win, but it’s not hugely important to her. She says that she “would like to find a rich boyfriend to take her to the Dominican Republic over Christmas.”

chanelle hayes.thumbnail Big Brothers Chanelle Hayeschanelle hayes.thumbnail Big Brothers Chanelle Hayeschanelle hayes 2.thumbnail Big Brothers Chanelle Hayeschanelle hayes 1.thumbnail Big Brothers Chanelle Hayes

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Chanelle Hayes | Comments (197) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Tracey Barnard

Name: TRACEY
Age: 36
From: Cambridgeshire
Occupation: Cleaner
Status: Single

“I’m a raver, man – I’m a cheesy quaver…I buzz off anything and any one.”
A self-styled hippy raver from a small village in Cambridgeshire, Tracey has collected carrier bags since she was six and says she has never switched on a computer. She has never been on a plane but hears that Goa is a “phat place to be.”

Big Brother Career: Acid tampon.

Drugs.

Woman and captain of Arsenal ladies.

British theme pub and saviour of post-cigarette ban hospitality industry.

tracey barnard.thumbnail Big Brothers Tracey BarnardTracey’s dream job is an actress but she is happy with cleaning for now. “I love my Hoover, love my polish.” In five years’ time she’d simply like to be in a shed with running water and an unblocked toilet. Although she likes to keep her hair nicely styled, she has not worn make-up for 15 years and admits to being slack in terms of looking after herself.

Passive, party-loving and peace-loving Tracey says, “I go out havin’ it every weekend in a field, get on it, get in the stack and buzz like!” She adds, “I like people to be happy – I don’t do anger, it’s not in my world.” Drunks, proper mess and laziness make her angry. She also feels strongly about humans killing the planet and is passionate about keeping the monarchy.

Tracey’s entering the Big Brother house “For the phat experience.”

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (81) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Charley Uchea

Name: CHARLEY
Age: 21
From: South London
Occupation: Unemployed
Status: Single

“I’m trendy, I’m wild, argumentative – I speak so much. I’m flirtatious and I’m hot.”

Big Brother Career: Victim of racist abuse. Jim Davidson fan, Chalky

Hair: Appearing nightly at Walthamstow dog track – look at the ‘Wagging Wag’ go!

Future: The new Bobby Charlton

wrath.thumbnail Big Brothers Charley UcheaCharley still lives at home with her mum. She dropped out of art college, has been sacked from numerous jobs and is currently unemployed. Her cousin Kieran Richardson plays for Manchester United and she often goes bar-hopping with him in Manchester, where he introduces her to “hot balleters”.

A sleep-walker and talker, Charley is not a morning person. She has an intense phobia of spiders, is dreading the imminent smoking ban and also believes in ghosts. Having no job does not curb her social life. “I go to celeb hangouts and meet great people”. She also loves watching The Jeremy Kyle Show and Little Britain.

Charley is very competitive – she says she always has to win. She craves the limelight and has always wanted to be a singer. She rates herself 10/10 for attractiveness and ruthlessness. Charley will amuse herself in the house by “dancing, singing and getting on people’s nerves” but thinks her housemates will nominate her for being argumentative and unable to cook.

charley uchea 2.thumbnail Big Brothers Charley Ucheacharley uchea.thumbnail Big Brothers Charley Ucheacharley uchea 1.thumbnail Big Brothers Charley Uchea

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (621) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Lesley Brain

Name: LESLEY
Age: 60
From: Gloucestershire
Occupation: Retired headhunter
Status: Married – with two children and two grandchildren

The British public will either love me or hate me – either way they’ll want to keep me in… I think there’s a strong possibility that I’ll win.”

Big Brother Career: Taking the piss out of dumb animals.

Big Brother Exit: Quiet. And on leaving before we could really get stuck into her:

“I would like to say thank you for the opportunity. It has been a wonderful opportunity – however short, in terms of the whole programme – I appreciate that. So thank you. I think I would like to say that I believe I could have won it or certainly been there towards the end … I actually think one way or another I could have won it”.

BB achivement: Taking the piss

The future: Presenting the celebrity WI feature on This Morning; Magistrate

Owner of the Crystal Maze lapdancing emporium.

“I like to think that I’m intelligent, eccentric, perhaps a little unpredictable,” says Lesley, a member of the Women’s Institute. She has been married twice, first at 16, and her second husband is 23 years her senior.

Lesley ran her own recruitment business for 20 years. She also worked as a Cambridge don and set up a marriage agency for successful divorced people. She and her husband recently returned from a six-year spell living in Portugal, where she tried her hand at stand-up comedy.

Lesley’s tastes range from Michelin-starred restaurants to fish and chips, and she enjoys dinner parties and country house weekends. She has a personal trainer and a cook – “I don’t do anything domestic” – and devours Victorian literature, Dickens being her favourite. Harvey Nichols is her big love but she hates music as it’s “distracting”.

Lesley claims to be honest and honourable, and says she’d hate to share the house with “no-hopers”. She hates “negative under-achievers, arrogance, people without ambition and people who don’t try.” She predicts she’ll be the “safe older woman” in the house, but admits, “I do have terrible temper tantrums. If I don’t like something and I don’t want to do it, the bottom lip starts wobbling…faux crying…”

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sam And Amanda Marchant

Name: SAM AND AMANDA (Twins)
Age: 18
From: Newcastle
Occupation: Students
Status: Both single

“If there’s only one fit boy in the house we’ll share him, definitely! He’ll never know the difference!”

Big Brother career: I cannot understand a word they say

Future: PornPorn. Strippers. Screaming victim in the cellar.

These inseparable, bubbly, chatty twin blondes describe themselves as “Twincredible”. Always giggling and finishing each other’s sentences, they even have their own “Twin Song” they sing to introduce themselves to boys.
Sam and Amanda both study Social Work at Manchester Metropolitan University. They often get called “The Terrible Twins” in their university halls because of the noise they make, and their rooms are inspired by “Barbie” – all pink and fluffy.

The girls – whose mum is a Big Brother addict – are never separated and always talk about themselves as “us” and “we”, never in the singular. They both work as promotions girls at a nightclub and believe that women should never have to pay for drinks.

The twins “find politics confusing and wouldn’t know who to vote for”. Before the Big Brother audition process, they had never been abroad, but would love to go to New York “because there are so many shops”.

amanda marchant.thumbnail Sam And Amanda Marchantamanda marchant 1.thumbnail Sam And Amanda Marchant

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (310) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ken Russell’s Brand Of Slippers

CELEBRITY Big Brother survivor Ken Russell delivered the show’s greatest ever parting line: “I’ve left my slippers underneath the chaise longue.” Now Ken is to be interviewed on stage at the National Film Theatre by Melvyn Bragg. Bring your slippers…

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Diary: Danielle Lloyd’s Thursday…

MORE from Big Brother bully Danielle Lloyd. Still in Florida with her footballer, Danielle (it’s Thursday so it’s the pink bikini) tells us: “Marcus has been taking in a lot of sights and doing a bit of work, so I’ve had more sunbathing time than him.” Stay tuned…

Posted: 31st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Look-Alikes: Tracey Is…Tony Adams

TRACEY is “avinit”. She’s a cleaner in tune with the vapours of her products.

And she looks just like Tony Adams, the old England and Arsenal captain. This is her…

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother 8 – Davina McCall’s Location Location Location

Is she still talking? It’s the start of the show. And all we have is Davina. And more Davina. She’s showing us round the house. Any moment now someone’s going to make an offer on it and Phil and Kirsty will sell it. Or Sarah Beeny’s going to pop up and critisise the lay out.  She’s still talking…

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother All Girl Action

hen night.thumbnail Big Brother All Girl ActionMANCHESTER United’s “sexy cousin” Charlie Richardson is to appear on Big Brother.

Charlie is, of course, a girl, an apparent truth supported by the exposure of the greater part of her breasts and thighs on the Sun’s front page. But this is Big Brother and we must be shy of making early judgements.

Charlie, described as “gorgeous” and “gobby”, has “several celebrity links”.

As well as being a relative of Manchester United makeweight Richardson, Charlie is on tanning terms with David Beckham’s sister Joanne. And – shock of shocks – Charlie is thought to have stepped out with a few footballers.

And then we enter a strange world of the Big Brother star emeritus and the wannabe.

The Sun journeys back in time to an age when Big Brother’s Saskia Howard-Clarke dreamed of getting ‘em out for the lads in a professional capacity and achieving no little stardom.

Big Brother housemate Saskia was at footballer Jermaine Pennant’s 24th birthday party. The Sun recalls how one of Saskia’s friends argued with Charlie. There is talk of fighting. Blood. Saskia is hit on the head by a bottle. Police.

The Big Bother gene pool is shrinking. Stars mingle with wannabes. And Charlie will appear on this year’s show under the alias “Danni”.

Which throws up problem: how will she be spotted among all the other Dannis , Nikkis and Armanis?

As the Mirrors’ front page reports, the first 12 contestants to enter the Big Brother house will all be women.

These are the 12 “Big Sisters”. After a few weeks, they will be evicted en masse and a load of lads will move in.

It’ll be like watching the goings on a seaside boarding house on Stag and Hen weekenders.

Last one to the cowboy hat and inflatable penis is a loser…

Hurrah!

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Imogen Thomas And Russell Brand Saga

IMOGEN Thomas has not slept with Russell Brand. This is in direct opposition to the story that Imogen Thomas (book now for panto, children’s parties and tombola spinning) did sleep with Russell Brand.

“Firsty, I have not slept with Russell Band,” says Imogen in the Daily Sport. “I did not bed him. He did not bed me.”

And even if she did: “I never kiss and tell, even if sometimes other people do.”

But what of her reputation?

Imogen: “I hope the fans who know and love me with continue to do so.”

Over to you Doris and Galloway the cat…

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Michelle Marsh In Agony

FOR the duration of Big Brother, former housemate Michelle Marsh is acting as agony aunt in the Daily Sport.

This week’s questions include:

“I am guy of 18 but have an embarrassing problem. When I was 15 I was wanking and wanted to try something different and thought it may be fin to try a vacuum”
Mark, Kent

“I’m 23 and am told I am a good looking guy but I have one problem – I get sweaty when I pull a bird”
Mike, Croydon

“My girlfriend of five months is perfect in many ways but has a very dark side. Every so often she insists I strip and allow her to tie me up and then whips me”
Peter, Wolverhampton

Says Michelle: “Catch me in Dick Whittington at the Bridlington Playhouse this Christmas”

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Danielle Lloyd Wears Bikini

DANIELLE Lloyd has checked into hotel in Florida, reports the Daily Sport and news wires. More to follow…

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chantelle Houghton Reveals…

CELEBRITY Big Brother winner Chantelle Houghton says her marriage to Preston is not in trouble. Chantelle’s fans will be delighted to hear the news, and we will be happy to relay the best wishes of Doris Winkle and her pet cat Galloway to the star’s agent.

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Forget Big Brother Votting; Get Big Brother Betting

BIG Brother voters listen up:

Channel 4 has halved the cost of eviction voting for Big Brother and said it will not make any profit from phone services on this year’s show, which begins tomorrow.

The cost of calls to vote for Big Brother evictions will drop from 50p to 25p and Channel 4 has axed text voting altogether.

A 10p donation to charity will be made for each vote cast, with the remaining charge covering the costs incurred by Channel 4 to administer the system.

But keep your money. Instead bet on a male or female winner on Betfair. And get a free £10 bet with Anorak!

Posted: 29th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Over the Melanie Hill: Big Brother Suicide Watch

WITH Big Brother approaching faster than Jade Goody chasing a kebab van, the media is full of housemates past.

So here’s Melanie Hill to tell Big Brother hopefuls: “Don’t do it.”

Oh?

“On balance, I regret it,” says Melanie. “The thing that is priceless is your anonymity.”

Neither Mel, nor her agent, would disagree with that.

But Mel has not finished. Says she: “I seriously think it will not end until we have a suicide.”

Professional or literal, she doesn’t say…

Posted: 28th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Hutton Report

ANTHONY Hutton won Big Brother 5 in 2005. Big Bother voyeurs will recall Hutton’s exploits in the Jacuzzi, specifically his making foamy bubbles with Makosi.

Hutton was the ladies man. He pulled Makosi. But then it turned out that for the right price anyone could pull the Zimbabwean nurse.

Undaunted by that, Hutton now says he has to fight women off with his stick. “I do have a lot of luck with the girls,” says Hutton. “They love a bloke off the telly. It’s so shallow – but I love it.”

But not as shallow as that bubble bath…

Posted: 28th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Russell Brand Moulds Big Brother’s Imogen

IMOGEN Thomas, Big Brother’s Miss Wales, has something to tell us.

And she’d best be quick. Bit Brother 8 starts next week and Imogen has but a few days to remind us of her continuing existence.

We join Imogen in bed with Big Brother host Russell Brand. Says Imogen: “I called him my Heineken lover—he helped me get to sexual peaks other fellas couldn’t reach.”

Having now delved into the bottom draw of our minds, we recall Imogen. She was indeed the housemate who did nothing. She barely spoke. She barely moved. If Brand is her Heineken lover, she’s is surely his mug of London tap in the last chance saloon.

“He is a sex machine,” say Imogen in the NOTW. “We had a fantastic time in bed. I remember one night we had sex for virtually 12 hours solid. I didn’t get a wink of sleep as he made love to me time and again.

“It was like tantric sex—the orgasm seemed to last forever. That’s how good Russell was.

“It’s the way he used his body—it wasn’t just thrusting but gentle touches and caresses and knowing what to do with his tongue.

Says Imogen: “He can turn a woman to jelly in bed.”

No, not into a quivering wreck. A jelly…

Posted: 27th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Australian Big Brother Contestant And A Slow Death

OVER on Big Brother Australia, housemate Emma Cornell’s father has died.

This from the Guardian:

What can you say? It feels vaguely nihilistic to begin a column with these words, but they do seem the appropriate response to waking up the morning after the damning Ofcom report into Channel 4′s handling of Big Brother, and discovering that a contestant in the Australian version has not been told her father has died.

Last week, Emma Cornell’s father, Raymond, died in a cancer hospice. He was buried a few days later. There appears to be some suggestion that Ms Cornell’s total ignorance of these developments is “what he would have wanted”. What can you say, in the name of sanity, other than that real life seems to have become the punchline to a particularly grim version of an old joke. The bad news is she’s missed the funeral, the good news is she’s still in with a chance of the cash prize and the guarantee of being written off as a tragic wannabe by the Australian equivalent of Heat magazine in three months’ time.

Posted: 26th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Housemates Tarnished And Varnished

FOR those of you not in possession of the Freeview TV Guide, Davina McCall is talking about matters Big Brother.

Says she: “I think the house is no longer a stepping stone to fame…people have realised that once you’re an ex-Big Brother housemate, you’re tarnished”.

Tarnished? Surely, she means to say dipped in orangey tanning products…

Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Told To, Er, Paki It In

big brother bigots.thumbnail Big Brother Told To, Er, Paki It InTHE news series of Big Brother is in “chaos”.

The Mirror’s front-age tells readers that TV watchdog Ofcom is not best pleased with what it has seen. It chastises Channel 4 for “serious errors of judgement” in last season’s Celebrity Big Brother.

That was the show that made a star of Shilpa Shetty. Victimised by Jade ‘Hoodie’ Goody, whale-voiced Danielle Lloyd and former SS Club 7 singer Jo O’Meara, Shilpa suffered. She then won the show and made a killing. Jade broke down and broke poppadoms India. Danielle got new breasts. And Jo disappeared in a puff of green smoke.

But the story is not over. And readers learn that elements of the abuse were censored.

It is revealed that housemates called Shilpa a “P***”. Why the Mirror uses stars and not the word “Paki” is a moot point. Is the word Paki the last taboo? If so, can someone please tell school children, name callers and England football fans who enliven matches with the delightful tune “I’d rather be a Paki than a [insert opposition here - Turk/Frog/ Kraut etc.]”.

There’s Shilpa on the front page of the star. Over there she’s being called a “P*ki”. These Star’s readers are made of stronger stuff.

And over four pages they learn that Channel 4 has been ordered to issue three apologies for broadcasting “offensive and unsuitable” footage in the Big Brother race row.

How awful this must be for Andy Duncan, head of Channel 4, and his minions. With Big Brother 8 about to start, the papers are chock full of stories about how the show shocks.

Channel 4 argues that it allowed the celebrities “freedom of expression”. And so it did. But why were some expressions edited out? That is neither free nor fair.

We heard Jade, Danielle and Jo’s bigotry and bullying. But why were we deprived of Jack joining the gang in making up a limerick about Shilpa being a Paki? His freedoms were curtailed.

Jo: There once was a house that was happy
Later
Jo: There once was a house that was happy, mi ni, mi ni, mi ni, mi ni, and then there entered…
Much later
Jade: Until there entered a…

We urge Jack to not let this matter slide. If a bigoted idiot is not allowed to be a bigoted idiot then something is amiss in reality TV. We’d wager that Jack’s human rights have been violated. He should sue.

Jo: There was young girl from Bombay…

And we should stay tuned. Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell tells us: “We will be watching very closely to ensure that these [rulings] have the desired effects.”

Jo: I’m not a racist person because my cousin is married to an Indian

She’ll be watching Big Brother. You’ll be watching Big Brother. It’s all having the desired effect…

Jade: When we three gonna meet again?
Jo: In rehab…
Danielle: When I’ve had me new breasts done
All three: When there’s a feature in the Sun…

Anon

Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity Big Brother: The Racism You Missed On Channel 4

THERE now follows a transcript of the bits Celebrity Big Brother you didn’t see, featuring Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd, Jo O’Meara and Jack Tweed…

Big Brother
This is Big Brother. Could Danielle come to the diary room?

Jade
24 hours later?

Jo
Yeah, that you got told off.

Danielle
I can’t even remember saying anything.

Jade
I think I know. I don’t think it’s anything naughty like that. I think that… maybe Danielle used the ‘P’ word.

Jo
Oh, really?

Jade
Maybe.

Cleo
I don’t even know what ‘P’ word means. Don’t tell me, though.

Jo
Oh, you’re kidding. That’s bad.

Jade
No, I can imagine her saying that under her breath.
[DELETION OF DEFAMATORY REFERENCE TO A THIRD PARTY OUTSIDE THE HOUSE,FOR LEGAL REASONS]

Jo
Oh, that’s not good.

Jade
Maybe she didn’t. Maybe I’m just thinking it.

Jo
Oh, that’s naughty, naughty, naughty that is.

Danielle
Three bottles.

Jack
Tight bastards.

Jo
Three bottles of beer?

Danielle
Well, I’ll have a rosé. I’m not bothered.

Cleo
Do you know what, I’m fine not with any wine. I won’t sleep.

Jade
We’re only going to drink the whole bottle on our own.

Danielle
I’ll drink the rosé and give them half a bottle each.

Jade
There’s enough [inaudible], Cleo.

Danielle
Give them one and a half each and I’ll have a rosé, because I’m not bothered.

Cleo
I’m trying to work out what the ‘P’ word is.

Jade
Did you use the ‘P’ word?

Danielle
What’s the ‘P’ word?

Jack
It rhymes with ‘tacky’.

Jo
Keep it nice and discreet there Jack.

Danielle
I don’t know.

Jade
When the argument was going on, did you use the ‘P’ word that rhymes with ‘tacky’?

Danielle
No.

Jade
That’s what I thought. I thought, I can imagine her saying that under her breath or something.

Danielle
I don’t use them words.

Jo
Good.

Jade
That’s a good thing. I can’t imagine her going, ‘Oh, fuck off you…’

Tuesday 16th January 2007
Approx. 23:40:
[Cross talk]

Cleo
Just my luck.

Jade
What happened?

Cleo
Got full again.

Jade
Yeah, but I wanted a drink and it just went -

Cleo
Oh, I miss my huge mouth the whole time. It’s so embarrassing in restaurants when you go like this and… That’s why I never drink red. It really shows. No. It’s not going for you.

Jo
There once was a house that was happy.

Jade
I’ve got a great one, but I’m not allowed to say it.

Danielle
Why? Why? I want to know.

Cleo
She can’t if she can’t say it.
[Cross talk]

Jo
There once was a house that was happy, ‘mi ni mi ni mi ni mi ni’ and then there entered…

Cleo
You’re all going to go to Big Brother prison.

Danielle
How do you know what -

Cleo
And you’re going to need me -

Jo
But it ends with a nappy. What’s wrong with you people?

Jack
But if you say, ‘Along came some people who were tacky’.

Jade
There once was a house that was happy, until…

Jack
They made it really tacky.

Jade
Until there entered a… Until there entered a…

Jo
Strappy… Strap-on.

Jack
Strap-on

Jade
No, no, no, there once was a house that was happy…

Jo
Until someone got yappy.

Jade
Yes. There once was a house that was happy, until someone got yappy.

Jack
She nearly killed everyone with a chicken.

Cleo
But everything ended up finger-lickin’.

Jo
Now you’ve got to do something that rhymes with a nappy.

Cleo
Oh, God, don’t give that to Danielle, for God’s sake.

Danielle
And it all ended up – Being crappy.

Cleo
Oh, dear me.

Jo
Right.

Danielle
That could have been rather disturbing, that.

Jo
That was a good one.

Wednesday 17th January 2007
Approx. 00:13:

Jo
…claim to fame was your argument with her.

Jade
Yeah, with her.

Jo
Because of the argument they had. She said, ‘You know what, Jade, this is going to be your claim to fame’.

Jade
Because she’s a god.

Danielle
Is that what she said?

Jo
Yeah, she did.

Jade
‘This is going to be your claim to fame’.

Jo
‘This is going to be your claim to fame’.

Jade
[Inaudible] I don’t know her surname. Shilpa Pashwa fucking whoever you are, Shilpa Poppadom, I fucking… Oooh.

Jack
Stop it.

Jo
Calm down. It’s finished.

Jade
I am fuming and I know that it’s not going to lie, because I know, when I look at her tomorrow, I’m going to be feeling sick. I cannot stay…I cannot stay in this house and I will never walk -

Jo
There was a young girl from Bombay…

Jade
No, let’s not do that. I will not walk, because I’ve never let it get to me, but I tell you what, if I go, that will probably be the best thing for me – a bloody godsend – because I’ll end up smashing her head against… No, I won’t, because I’m not violent.

Jo
Jack’s like, ‘Yeah, uh-huh’.

Cleo
I think it will probably be better -

Jo
Drink another beer.

Cleo
To change the subject because I don’t want you to get into… I’m very passionate, and I think we all are. When you get that angry, you use -

Jo
No, I think that today’s argument was a nasty argument.
[Cross talk]

Jade
I’m common and I need… I need to go and get elocution lessons because I’m common? How dare she turn her nose up at me? I’m not one of her
pissing servants. She’s in a house with nine other people, which are normal people. Jermaine Jackson is a fucking legend – you don’t hear him talking down to people. You don’t hear him turning his nose up to
people.

Jo
You don’t really get much bigger than Jackson.

Jade
No, you don’t. You don’t hear him say -

Jo
And he’s the quietest, nicest, most genuine person.

Cleo
Yeah, I love him.

Jo
Genuinely, a genuine person who’s lovely.

Cleo
He is genuine.

Jo
And I’ve got to be honest, I have witnessed things myself with sniggering and whispering and talking -

Jade
Jack did. Jack was in there the other day, in that kitchen, it was just
him and Jermaine -

Jo
She done it about me with Dirk over the whisky.

Jade
Shilpa walked into the kitchen, looked at Jack, whispered to Jermaine and laughed. Jack said to me, ‘Oh, my God’. I was just this close to
saying something to Shilpa.

Saturday 20th January 2007
Approx. 19:47
DIARY ROOM WITH JO O’MEARA:

Jo
I thought I was coming to collect some beers.

Big Brother
Hello, Jo.

Jo
Hello.

Big Brother
Jo, please could you switch off your microphone and take the battery out for Big Brother please? You should still know you’re being recorded.

Jo
Okay. Am I in trouble? There you go.

Big Brother
Thanks, Jo. Jo, Big Brother would like to make it clear that what we’re about to talk about is a matter that Big Brother has decided to raise with you. Just to be clear, this has not come from any of the other
housemates. Do you understand?

Jo
Right. I think so.

Big Brother
To clarify, Big Brother has decided to raise this matter with you.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Jo, it has only now come to Big Brother’s attention that you have made remarks that Big Brother considers to be racially offensive.

Jo
Oh, you’re kidding. Like what?

Big Brother
On Tuesday night, which was day 14 in the Big Brother house, you and other housemates were playing a game where you were making up limericks about Shilpa.

Jo
Yeah.

Big Brother
As part of this game, you used rhyming slang to replace what other housemates called ‘the “P” word’. The rhyming slangs you used were the words -

Jo
I never said the ‘P’ word.

Big Brother
The rhyming slang you used were the words ‘nappy’, ‘happy’ and ‘strappy’, amongst others.

Jo
That depends on how you take it. I’m not a racist person at all, ever, and I never, ever have been. I know that.

Big Brother
Jo, it’s clear to Big Brother that, in this conversation, this game, that these rhyming words were references to the racial insult ‘Paki’.

Jo
Right, okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand that this is considered racially offensive language?

Jo
Yes, I do. I didn’t… really didn’t mean it in that way, though.

Big Brother
Big Brother would like to give you some time to respond.

Jo
I don’t know how to respond to that, to be honest. I don’t consider myself to be racist at all, against anybody or any religion or… and, like, if Jermaine is praying or Shilpa’s praying, I always stay out of
the room, I stay out of the way and I let them do what they do, and I ask questions about it and… and I want to know more about their religions and stuff. I don’t see that as a problem at all. I didn’t realise the seriousness of it and I apologise if I offended anybody, but I never, ever meant to.

Big Brother
Do you remember the incident?

Jo
Yeah, I do.

Big Brother
Can you take Big Brother through your version of the events?

Jo
Oh, God, I don’t know if I remember it to that extreme. It was just playing rhyming slangs and I was just… So you say whatever. You say lots of different stuff.

Big Brother
Do you remember any of the lines of the limerick?

Jo
Do you know what, I really don’t, because in here, we were talking earlier on about being in the servants’ quarters, and that feels like about three or four months ago. So, no, I don’t, to be honest.

Big Brother
Do you remember who was involved in the game?

Jo
Me… the same people that always play the limerick game, so that would be me, Jade, Dan… maybe Cleo. She sometimes plays. And Jack.

Big Brother
In the limerick, do you remember what you intended the words ‘happy’,’strappy’ -

Jo
Well, no, because it could’ve… we could’ve said anything. It didn’t necessarily have to mean that. Do you know what, it didn’t even mean that. It’s just how you take it. You come out with all different
stuff. We’ve come up with loads of rude things playing that game. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s intended to be racist.

Big Brother
Jo, during the game, Jack said that the word rhymed with ‘tacky’.

Jo
Well then, that’s Jack, isn’t it? That’s not me.

Big Brother
Do you understand how it might have been considered racist to be using a rhyming slang that rhymed with ‘Paki’?

Jo
Yeah, I can now, but do you know what, I didn’t really take much notice of it at the time. It’s just… you just play silly games in this house and do silly things when there’s nothing to do, so you just find ways of trying to entertain yourself. Today’s been another day which has been really tough for everyone because we’ve not had anything to do again. And it’s getting to that point now where everyone’s, like, ‘Ugh’. I never meant for it to be that way, and if it was that way, then I apologise.

Big Brother
Jo, just to be clear, do you understand that the word, and any inference using rhyming slang of that word, could consider… could be considered to be racially offensive?

Jo
Yes.

Big Brother
Jo, Big Brother will not tolerate any racist behaviour or anything that could be seen to be racist behaviour in the Big Brother house.

Jo
Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m not a… I’m not racist at all, though. That’s the thing. I’m really, really not. Really not. I’ve not seen eye-to-eye with Shilpa throughout this whole game, and I’m not going to
start pretending that she’s my best friend but she’s a… I’ve got on a lot better with her today than I have throughout the whole show.

Big Brother
Why do you think that is?

Jo
I have got no idea. I really, really don’t know, but… I just think the group is slowly starting to get smaller now and you’ve got to start spending time with different people, because people are going. I think, is it six people, have left now. And I suppose, as the group gets smaller and the people you’re left with, you… you have to communicate
more and talk more with, so I’ve been speaking a lot more today, and I’ve spoken a lot more to Jermaine today as well. We’ve been playing games. And I know that I’m not a racist person because my cousin is
married to an Indian and half of the side of, like, that side of my family are all Indian. So I’m not a racist person at all. All my cou… I’d say, well… my cousin’s married to an Indian man and they’ve
got four children and all their… his family interact with my family, so I’m surrounded by Indians a lot, because they’re part of my family, so I wouldn’t be racist. My cousins are Indian.

Big Brother
Jo, as a result of this incident, Big Brother has no option but to issue you with your first and only formal warning.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Any further incidents could result in your immediate eviction.

Jo
Okay. So I’ve had a warning and that’s my last one.

Big Brother
Correct.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Jo, Big Brother would ask that you exercise care in the future.

Jo
Yes, I will, and I’m very, very sorry.

Big Brother
Big Brother would also like to remind you that, as always, all diary room conversations between Big Brother and housemates are confidential.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand?

Jo
Yes, I do.

Big Brother
Jo, Big Brother has arranged for you to have a short conversation, off camera -

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
With Steven, the psychologist. A brief chat to talk through this matter in confidence, for your benefit.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Big Brother will now hand over to Steven.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
There may be a short pause while we ensure that the diary room is not being recorded.

Jo
Thank you.

Big Brother
Thanks, Jo.

Jo
Thanks.

Saturday 20th January 2007
Approx. 20:20 – DIARY ROOM WITH JACK TWEED:

Jack
Hello.

Big Brother
Hello, Jack.

Jack
Hello.

Big Brother
Jack, please could you switch off your microphone and take the battery out, please? You should know that you are still being recorded.

Jack
Done

Big Brother
Thanks. Jack, please listen carefully.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Big Brother would like to, first of all, make very clear that what we are about to talk about is a matter that Big Brother has decided to raise with you.

Jack
All right.

Big Brother
Just to be clear, this has not come from any of the other housemates. Do you understand?

Jack
Yeah, I understand.

Big Brother
Jack, it has only now come to Big Brother’s attention that you have made remarks that Big Brother considers to be racially offensive.

Jack
Like what?

Big Brother
On Tuesday night, day 14 in the Big Brother house -

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
You and other housemates were playing a game where you were making up limericks about Shilpa.

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
You were using rhyming slang to replace what you called ‘the “P” word’.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
You said the word rhymed with ‘tacky’.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
It is clear to Big Brother, Jack, that this was a reference to the racial insult ‘Paki’.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand that this is considered racially offensive language?

Jack
Yeah, okay.

Big Brother
What do you have to say about this, Jack?

Jack
I was explaining the word that someone that was meant to have rhymed with the word. I wasn’t actually saying the word.

Big Brother
Do you mean you were trying to include the word in the limerick but were using another word to replace it?

Jack
I can’t really remember what exactly happened but I think… that someone said ‘I know a word that rhymes with that’ and then I clocked on to what it was and then explained what the word was, but didn’t actually
say the word.

Big Brother
Do you remember why… how the word came up in the first place?

Jack
No, I can’t remember.

Big Brother
Do you remember playing the limerick game that night?

Jack
Sort of.

Big Brother
Do you remember who was playing it?

Jack
No. Me, Jade, Cleo, Jo and Danielle.

Big Brother
And where you were playing it?

Jack
In the lounge.

Big Brother
And do you remember the approximate time that you were playing it at?

Jack
No, I’m not sure.

Big Brother
Any idea?

Jack
No, I wouldn’t… No, sorry, I wouldn’t have a clue.

Big Brother
Was it afternoon, early evening, late evening?

Jack
Late evening, I’d say.

Big Brother
Jack, do you understand that the ‘P’ word – Paki -

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
Is considered to be racist?

Jack
Yeah, I fully understand.

Big Brother
And that simply by replacing the word with a word that rhymes with it doesn’t take away from the racial insult?

Jack
I wasn’t saying it to anyone. I was explaining what the word… what the word is. That’s why, in a conversation, you’re allowed to say, ‘The
word “Paki” is a racist remark’. That’s why you’re allowed to say it. So I wasn’t saying, ‘That girl is a Paki’; I was saying ‘the word is that’.

Big Brother
You’ve suggested that the word ‘tacky’ could be included in a limerick. Correct?

Jack
Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Big Brother
So would it be fair to say that you were making light of the inclusion of the word ‘Paki’ in a limerick with the group.

Jack
I think so, yeah. I can’t really remember the whole conversation that we had.

Big Brother
Jack, was the limerick about Shilpa?

Jack
I think… I really can’t remember. I think so. I don’t know.

Big Brother
Jack, Big Brother is going to remind you of the limerick.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Jo began: ‘There once was a house that was happy’. You then said:
‘Until…’ Jo said: ‘And then there entered…’ Cleo then interrupted and said, ‘You are all going to BB prison’. Jo said: ‘And then there entered a nappy’. You then said: ‘Or, if you say, “Or along came some
people who was tacky”‘.

Jack
Yeah. So that wasn’t referring to the word ‘Paki’. That was just people who was tacky.

Big Brother
Jack, in a previous conversation, you had substituted the word ‘tacky’ for the word ‘Paki’.

Jack
In that limerick just then, I wasn’t at all suggesting that the word was meant to be ‘Paki’. I was saying tacky, as in tacky people. I wasn’t – not at all.

Big Brother
Jack, do you understand that some people may consider what you said to be racially offensive?

Jack
Yeah, some people who got the wrong end of the stick, I would, yeah. Can I just ask: is this… What, is this out in the paper, because if it is, I’d rather just leave now.

Big Brother
Jack, Big Brother wants you to understand that this word could be considered to be racist. Do you understand that?

Jack
Yeah, I understand that.

Big Brother
And that Big Brother will not tolerate any racist behaviour or anything that could be seen to be racist behaviour in the Big Brother house?

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
Jack, as a result of this incident, Big Brother is now issuing you with your first and only formal warning about this.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Any further incidents could result in your immediate eviction.

Jack
Okay. Could I just… Can you just please tell me if this is out in the paper or anything like that, if anything’s out there suggesting, because if it is, I’d rather just leave now.

Big Brother
Jack, just listen for a second.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Big Brother would ask that you exercise some care in the future with your language.

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
And Big Brother would like to remind you that, as always, all diary room conversations between Big Brother and housemates are confidential.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand?

Jack
Yeah. Thank you.

Big Brother
Jack, Big Brother has arranged for you to have a short
conversation, off-camera, with Steven, the psychologist, to talk through this matter
in confidence.

Jack
Right.

Big Brother
Big Brother will now hand over to Steven. There may be a short pause while we ensure that the diary room is not being recorded.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Okay?

Jack
Okay. Thank you.

Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Moyles

CHRIS Moyles is to host the Big Brother spin-off Big Brother’s Big Mouth.

The Radio 1 DJ replaces Russell Brand.

Moyles will only last a week. Then another presenter will take over.

Such straw weight entertainers include Peaches Geldof, Steve Marsh and Dan Wright, from children’s TV’s Big Cook Little Cook, and er…

Well, anyone else who can stand it. What price Jade Goody?

Posted: 24th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0