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Celebrities | Anorak - Part 365

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Rihanna Gets Leathered For Amy Winehouse

amy-winehouse-3.jpg IT is the Seventh Rule of Celebrity that when one celeb is hogging the headlines all other celebrities should comment upon her. And here is the chanteuse Rihanna to offer her views on Amy Winehouse.

Says Rihanna, dressed in leather

Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Will Young Is A K***: An Anorak Reader Challenge

will-young-posters.jpg THE Anorak likes to think of itself as well versed in the street vernacular. But the Mirror’s news on Will Young intrigues and challenges.

In “Young’s full of bad Will” the paper hears BBC Radio1 DJ Scott Mills accuse the

Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Wayne Rooney In Hello!

SAYS Wayne Rooney in Hello! magazine on the matter of his summer wedding to Coleen McLoughlin: “I wouldn’t invite people for

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Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Back pages, Hello! | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Michael Jackson And Jackson Five Reform

MICHAEL Jackson is to reform.

That opening line possesses a certain ambiguity. Better to say that Jackson has never committed any offence and has nothing to reform for.

His reforming is part

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Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Waiting For Pamela Anderson’s Stolen Moments

pamela_anderson.jpg SOME tabloid stories repeat every day Madeleine McCann, Princess Diana, immigrants give you cancer whereas others come round once a year Christmas cancelled, Anthea Turner’s comeback, Pamela Anderson to divorce, and the equally efficient Pamela Anderson to

Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Shirley Bassey And Cilla Black’s Golden Oldies

blind-date.jpg FEW at Anorak Towers have recovered from seeing and hearing Cilla Black fake an orgasm on stage at the 2001 Royal Variety Performance.

Now the Mail brings news of Shirley Bassey’s 70th birthday (who among you thought

You have already

Posted: 18th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pete Doherty To Run The London Marathon

pete-doherty.JPG WITH new celebrity Leon Jackson bedding in old celebrity Pete Doherty needs a new headline-making song, or failing that, a stunt.

So here’s news in the Mirror that Pete Doherty wants to run the London Marathon. Whether he will run

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Joss Stone’s Flake Is A Fudge

fudge.jpg JOSS Stone, she of the mid-Atlantic drawl, will advertise Cadbury’s Flakes because, as the Cadbury spokesman tells the Express, “she reflects the Flakes girl’s attitude to life”.

The Flake is now the tenth most popular selling confectionary in the UK.

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Smell Of Success: Inhaling Jordan, Britney And Kate Moss

david-beckham-perfume.jpg “JORDAN SCENTS XMAS VICTORY,” says the Star. “Top 10 Celeb Pongs.”

According to official figures, Stunning by Katie Price is the top celebrity bottled smell. Each morning a team of parfumiers scrape Jordan’s bedding and dispense the contents into a

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Exclusive Factor: The Real Leon Jackson

kylie-leon-x-factor.jpg LEON Jackson can carry a tune as well as any department store lift. And by rights he is now a bona fide celebrity, adding his weight to the country’s celebrity mountain.

Right now Jackson is at the top of the

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse At Six And Seven

AMY Winehouse drinks a cocktail at 6:00am. “SAD,” says the Mirror.

At 6.26 am, Amy Winehouse “leans head on hand”.

“MISERABLE,” says the Mirror.

“At 6:45 am, Amy Winehouse is “buying newspapers and supplies”.

“SHOPPING,” says the Mirror.”

You have

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jimmy Savile Row: Sir Jimmy’s Tips On Girls And Suits

jimmy-savile.jpg SIR Jimmy Savile OBE, as he must be known, appears in a string vest, Stoke Mandeville bring-and-buy sale shell suit and hair like spun toffee.

Sir Jimmy appears in the Daily Sport , sandwiched between news of a

You have

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse Leads Pop’s Nostalgia Tribute For Tupac Shakur And Leon Jackson

amy-winehouse-3.jpg AMY Winehouse “jail hell,” says the News of the World.

It’s a good career move. Short of a stint on a reality TV show judge, shaving her head or an untimely death the NOTW says Winehouse has vowed “SUICIDE”

Posted: 16th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paris Hilton: Fait Nos Une Pipe Dance

paris-hilton-card.jpg PARIS Hilton is the Sun’s “Party girl Paris burns up Berlin”.

The Sun’s showbiz writer Gordon Smart might be dressed like a provincial estate agent (pink tie, light grey suit) but in spite of appearances he is a professional writer.

Posted: 15th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Beckham’s Hung Like a Tractor

tractor.jpg SAYS Victoria Beckham: “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion.”

In proportion to what is unspecified his talent, his fame, his brand, his wife? Says Vicky, in the

Posted: 15th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Tenth Rule Of Celebrity With Guest Star Kerry Katona

kerry_quest_big.jpg THE Tenth Rule Of Celebrity dictates that a drama occurring to persons famous should be met by comment from other famous persons, chiefly in shows of support and empathy.

And even if an unfortunate event happens to non-famous persons, should

Posted: 14th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Spice Girls Make A Stand For Women

spicegirls.jpg AN injury to a Spice Girl.

“Zig a zig aarrrgh!” exclaims the Mirror. “Hop right now,” says the Sun, for reasons esoteric.

“Limping in for the UK tour, Crocked Spice,” reports the Mail, sticking to the tried-and-tested policy of called

Posted: 14th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Talent Spotting With The Sun’s Paris Hilton

paris-hilton-branding.jpg “I PROMISED not to feature people of limited talent on my page unless they met a set of strict criteria,” says the Sun’s Gordon Smart, his two page dominated by a picture of Paris Hilton.

Smart wants to be like

Posted: 14th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I Confess: I Am Richard Madeley And Judy Finnegan’s Presenter Child

jack-chloe-madeley.jpg MORE on Richard Madeley and Judy Finnegan, as the tea-time Telly twosome’s teenage daughter Chloe tells us that she wants to work in TV.

“I do want to work in TV,” says Chloe in the Express, “and I would like

Posted: 14th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gemma Atkinson Splits From Double Act

gemma-atkinson_imagel.jpg “GEMMA BOOBS LAUNCH OWN CAREER,” announces the Star on its front page, words hung in yellow ink beside a shot of bikini-encased Gemma Atkinson.

As with all facts, the Anorak likes to look at things from another angle, and

Posted: 14th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paula Abdul Piss Taken

paula-abdul.jpg PAULA Abdul has this anecdote, she’d like to share with us: “Well, this is gross, but I was once at the gynaecologist and my doctor said, ‘We asked you to do a urine sample, so where is it?’

I told

Posted: 13th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Private Moments With Cerys Matthews And Marc Bannerman

marc-cerys.jpg FROM rat’s gonad to love rat , Cerys Matthews was never going to be easily swayed from her deep and lasting love for fellow I’m A Celebrity jungler Marc Bannerman.

Now in “CERYS & MARC AT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS” OK!

Posted: 13th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lapdancing Is The Saviour Of Mankind, And Posh And Becks

handjive.jpg USED to nights in and out with Victoria, David Beckham may have spent the duration of he and his wife’s trip to a pole dancing club ogling the slender pole.

He may well have squeezed his wife’s hand and offered

Posted: 13th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Warming To Paris Hilton

paris_champagne.jpg THE Sun’s front-page news combines a picture of Paris Hilton dipped in gold paint and the headline “PARIS FOUND GILTY”.

Inside the paper and readers see Paris Hilton on all fours. She is naked but in what is believed to

Posted: 13th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jade Goody Pulls A Cracker

jadegoody2ofdiamonds-732951.png YESTERDAY, the papers reported that Prince Azim of Brunei had given Jade Goody a ring valued at £3million.

Today the Sun says the ring is worth £30,000. The initial appraisal may have been influenced by the prince’s gift of jewellery

Posted: 13th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0