Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 368

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Amy Winehouse Is… Troubled-Sad-The Rehab Singer

amy-winehouse-no-no-no.png AMY Winehouse has cancelled her tour, or “pulled the plug” as the Times notes on its front page.

Winehouse is “sad” (Times), “Miss” (Mail), “Troubled” (Star, Express and Sun), “The Rehab singer” (Mirror), and the American “Wreckamess” (Disney’s TMZ website).

Posted: 28th, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Why Victoria Beckham Reformed The Spice Girls

WANT to know why “Victoria Beckham reformed the Spice Girls”? The Sun asks the question.

The Spice Girls were and still are the pop feminists that set out to show girls and curious boys that if you really, really want

Posted: 27th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I’m A Celebrity Fixed It For Janice Dickinson

antanddec.jpg THIS season’s I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! is following the well-trod steps of reality shows past.

The Star brings news of the obligatory betting scandal. In “JANICE JUNGLE BET FIX”, readers get the front-page news that a gambling

Posted: 27th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chantelle’s Celebrity Legend: New Boobs, New Man, New Life

chantelle-jodi-marsh.jpg “CHANTELLE: New Boobs, new man, new life.”

So says the Star on its front page, words equipped with a picture of former Celebrity Big Brother winner turned celebrity Chantelle Houghton.

Chantelle is pictured in black knickers with pink spots. Her

Posted: 27th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lily Allen Fact Of The Day

Lily Allen Fact Of The Day: “I found out about three months ago. I have been asthmatic all my life but this was really quite scary….Now I make sure

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Posted: 27th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Russell Brand: The Stuffed Elvis And Me

russellbrand.JPG LOOKING over the eBay website, the Star happens upon Russell Brand’s pet mouse. Given Mr Brand’s brand of humour, we would appear to be on the verge of an urban legend.

For now, though, know that Elvis, the presenter’s former

Posted: 26th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Malibu Fires And Jennifer Aniston’s Arctic Pain

leonardo-dicaprio.jpg IT is the Third Rule of Tabloid Journalism that any disaster should contain a celebrity angle.

The Bangladesh floods and the Darfur massacres would lead the news converge if only Kerry Katona could be persuaded to dispense own-brand ketchup to

Posted: 26th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lily Allen Fact Of The Day

LILY Allen fact of the day: “Pop starlet Lily Allen plans to make only one

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Posted: 26th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse’s Ugly Truths On Show

amy-winehouse-clones.jpg AMY Winehouse: “With smeared make-up, tattoos, cigarette clenched between her teeth she looks a long way from one of the UK’s most successful performers.”

Indeed, the Mail’s customary shot of Winehouse is of a mode usually reserved for an exposé,

Posted: 26th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Britney Spears’ Two For One Chinese Children Deal

britney-spears-driving.jpg “BRITNEY Spears to adopt Chinese twins,” says the News of The World.

Once was the time when a celebrity would adopt a new look, a panda bear in a Zoo or a technique with grilled food.

Now they adopt people.

Posted: 25th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mr Amy Winehouse In The Big House: A Play

amy-winehouse-3.jpg A COURTHOUSE in London Town where chartered surveyors’ practice Blake Fielder-Civil is up before the Beak. In the throng, his wife, popular chanteuse Amy Winehouse

Blake Fielder-Civil, Mr Amy Wienhouse (mouthed): “You all right? You OK?”

Winehouse : “Yes”

The

Posted: 24th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jamie Oliver’s Slip Of The Tongue On Angelina’s Jolie ‘Piloh Shit’

oliver-aniston.jpg ALL is not well in the world of transatlantic celebrity relations as “fat-tongued Jamie Oliver” calls Angelina Jolie’s child “Piloh Sh*t instead of Shiloh Pitt”.

The Spoonerism has not gone down well.

In John Gross’s Oxford Books of Aphorisms, Comic

Posted: 23rd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse And The Case Of The Dead Hamster

amy-winehouse-2.jpg “GEORGIE was a birthday present and we’d got him out to play with in the morning,” says budding popstar Peter Pepper beneath the headline “Amy killed MY hamster”, this being the Mirror’s quotidian Amy Winehouse vignette.

“I’d been in bed,

Posted: 23rd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Moss Pops The Question

kate-moss.jpg “WHO’S GOT THE DRUGS..” says the Mirror, words hanging alongside a picture of Kate Moss.

Grammarians will note the absence of the question mark. The headline might come equipped with a bony finger pointing at Moss’s head.

But that would

Posted: 23rd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Happy Thanksgiving Paris Hilton And Kirk Douglas

thanksgiving-paris-hilton.png HOLLYWOOD past and present Paris Hilton and Kirk Douglas.

The stars of yesterday and the stars of

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Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jamie Oliver Eats With Supermarkets And Takes On Chickens

jamie-oliver-1.jpg JAMIE Oliver is hosting a dinner.

In the manner of 1950s chat show Tea With Noele Gordon (the actress who went on to front Lunchbox ), Dinner With Jamie Oliver is going to be on TV.
Says the Independent: “Guests

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Trinny And Susannah Chalk Up Another Success

wilmington.jpg A CRY for help from Trinny and Susannah? The Telegraph has a picture of the Long Man Of Wilmington, a pagan symbol, billed as “Europe’s largest representation of the human form”.

And onto this 227ft carving on the slopes of

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse’s Spot Of Relief

amy-winehouse-2.jpg PRAISE for Amy Winehouse in Anorak Towers. Years of looking up Kate Moss’s nose have given us not only an inferiority complex but created the impression that all nose insides look the same.

This is not the case, a truth

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Janice Dickinson Is This Year’s David Gest

janice-dickinson-02.jpg JANICE Dickinson is this year’s David Gest.

Last year, Gest appeared on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! and we wondered if he would fall to pieces literally.

Now Janice is in the celebrity clearing, and we

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Most Perfect OK! Celebrity Caption Ever

MOST revealing OK! caption of all time: “Nikki, Michelle, Danielle and Chantelle live it up in Lineker’s

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Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Angleia Jolie: Zahara’s Family Want Her Back

angelina-jolie-orphans.jpg TO Grazia magazine, and a front-page sensation: “Angelina bombshell Zahara’s family demand her back.”

Sadly, as reported in the Enquirer, Ms Jolie is removing herself to France and will not be returning to Ethiopia, land of daughter Zahara‘s birth

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Grazia | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chantelle And Preston’s Big Brother Divorce

chantelle-preston.jpg IT was always going to be a bold step when Chantelle Houghton gave up her career as a promising Paris Hilton look-alike to marry Preston and become a “celebrity couple”.

But things have not worked out. Chantelle’s place as Big

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pete Doherty And Amy Winehouse: The Album

amy-winehouse.jpg “PETE: ME & AMY Druggie stars ‘speak every day’.”

This is encouraging news. Although what Pete Doherty (“junkie”) and Amy Winehouse (“addict”) manage to say is unspecified in the Sun’s report.

We expect the pair

You have already read

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mick Jagger’s Little Red Booster

mick-jagger-kaballah.jpg TO show that age has not withered him, Mick Jagger is showcasing a new look.

The Mail zooms in on Jagger’s right wrist and notes not a copper anti-arthritis bracelet, a big-hand watch nor a tissue tucked up a sleeve,

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Brad And Angelina Support Group Is In Session

angelina-jolie-france.jpg “FURY AS ANGIE QUITS USA!” announces the National Enquirer.

Angie is Angelina Jolie, and America is outraged that she should pack up her home, her kids, some other kids and make for a new life in France.

“We’ve been very

Posted: 20th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0