Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 368

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Amy Winehouse Nose

THE Star (“Amy Winenose”), Mirror (“WINE & NOSES”), and the Sun (“AMY POWDERS HER NOSE”) all lead with news of the inner happenings of Amy Winehouse’s nose.

It is not known what drug Ms Winehouse is on, if indeed she … READ ON

Posted: 7th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Mail’s Paul Dacre And Faye Dunaway: A Study

eyes1.jpgCONTINUING the Daily Mail’s “Old Women – Why Do They Stare?!” series of exposes, readers are invited to look at Faye Dunaway’s face (“film star looks”) and then study her hands (“hands don’t match her seemingly youthful face”).… READ ON

Posted: 7th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madonna Looks To Adopt Her Little Princess

madonna-and-child.jpgWITH little David Banda Twist established in the London home of New Age Jew Madonna, the feelers are out for a sister.

“Please can I have some more?” says Madonna, the Sun reporting that she has instructed her aides to … READ ON

Posted: 7th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Intimately Moments With Victoria Beckham And David

intimately-beckham-night.jpg“VICTORIA,” says OK! magazine’s cover page. “WORLD EXCLUSIVE – SHOCKING WORDS AND NEW PICTURES.”

For afficionados of Victoriana, a second headline: “GERI’S A NUTTER AND DAVID’S SO GRUMPY.”

Queen Victoria was famously married to a German and was alive when … READ ON

Posted: 5th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse And Pete Doherty Are The Ones That We Want

arthur_mullard.jpg LISTEN out pop fans for Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty’s version of Arthur Mullard and Hylda Baker’s hit “You’re The One That I Want” (originally from the movie Grease).

Readers of a vintage will recall that at the height of … READ ON

Posted: 5th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nigella Lawson’s Pig Lard Or Goose Lard

Sir, It is all well and good to build up a celebrity only for the rug to be whipped away at the apogee of achievement – I refer, of course, to the VIP’s appearance on Deal Or No Deal Celebrity … READ ON

Posted: 5th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jade Goody: Bono And Me

jig.jpgJADE Goody’s re-entry into celebrity society requires careful planning. She can either: a) marry an Indian; b) eat an Indian; c) return to the tried-and-tested Jade Goody brand and be thick.

So here’s Jade in a Dublin bar. A man … READ ON

Posted: 5th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dear Marc Bannerman: A Note From Sarah Matravers

sarah-matravers.jpgONE thing even better than being a reality TV star is being the spurned lover of a reality TV star.

Victimhood is the preferred route for many fame hungry celebs – see: “I was bullied”; “I was edited to look … READ ON

Posted: 4th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Grazia | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Britney Spears And Her ‘Diddy Men’

ken-dodd.jpgTHE Enquirer invites us within “BRIT’S CRAZY HOUSE!”

We will learn of “her double-locked secret room”, her “Cinderella obsession”; “what she keeps in the candy dish.”

The Enquirer risks spoiling the guessing game by whispering “pink handcuffs, ceiling mirrors & … READ ON

Posted: 4th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nicole Richie And Joel Madden Sign Up

nicole-richie.jpgSEE pop star daughter Nicole Richie and pop star Joel Madden in their matching Peter Storm anoraks, with Comfi-Slax and his ‘n’ hers haversacks.

Also note, as the Enquirer does, Nicole and Joel’s his’ n’ hers Juicy Couture leisurewear suits.… READ ON

Posted: 4th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse: A Moving Tribute

amy_winehouse-pretty.jpg“AS a junkie Amy deserves scorn,” says the Mail’s front-page teaser, words illustrated by picture of Amy Winehouse in a red bra, “but surely someone can help this infuriatingly talented singer?”

Mail readers may like to volunteer their services. So … READ ON

Posted: 4th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sharon Osbourne On Britney Spears

“I FEEL rally bad for Britney,” says Sharon Osbourne. “She needs to get out of LA and spend some precious time with her family.”

Sage advice from the queen of own-brand ketchup and dog poo. And if the courts allow … READ ON

Posted: 4th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lily Allen Quote Of The Day

Lily Allen Quote Of The Day, as told to GQ magazine: “A lot of that stuff I said was because I didn’t feel confident. I felt like, ‘Oh God, I’m short, fat, ugly…and I hate all these people who flaunt … READ ON

Posted: 3rd, December 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Al Gore Meets Jon Bon Jovi

al-gore-bon-jovi.jpg“JON Bon Jovi has spent two hours with ex-us vice-president Al Gore, fuelling speculation he is planning to run for political office.”

So says the Mirror.

With Sean Penn trumpeting Hugo Chavez, Bono billed a Mr “G9” and Gordon Brown … READ ON

Posted: 3rd, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (6) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jungle Survivor Janice Dickinson Wants To Eat Dec Up

janice-dickinson-stick-insect.jpgFRESH from the celebrity jungle, Nip ‘n’ Bush Tucker stalwart Janice Dickinson tells Sun readers: “Dec is so hot. I want to put him a thong and play wild games with him. Grrowl!”

Dec is, of course, one smallish part … READ ON

Posted: 3rd, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Shoeless Amy Winehouse Shows Her Respect For Victoria Beckham

amy-winehouse-posh.jpg“POSH: I WANT YOU TO FAINT!” says the Star, words hung above a picture of Victoria Beckham applying mascara, to her eyes.

The Spice Girls, of which Vicky is one fifth, or perhaps a seventh if you approach from alternative … READ ON

Posted: 3rd, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jordan, Harvey And Cheap Shots In Heat And OK!

celebrity-magazine.jpg“FURY OVER JIBE AT JORDAN’S SON!” says the Sunday Express.

The news: a picture in Heat magazine of Katie Andre pulling disabled and blind son Harvey towards her gigantic Jordans came equipped with a sticker bearing the legend “Harvey wants … READ ON

Posted: 2nd, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Common People: Sharon Osbourne And Ozzy Present Brit Awards

ozzy-osbourne.jpgWITH the fans – and sons and daughters of record executives – kept apart from their pop heroes by bouncers, limousine and wire, we read with some joy that this season’s Brit Awards will be presented by Sharon Osbourne and … READ ON

Posted: 30th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Beckham Labours In Nicole Kidman’s New Film

david-beckham-phone-1.pngDAVID Beckham’s post-football career is causing Nicole Kidman to make notes.

Advertising perfumes and mobile phones is just fine if you are as jobbing footballer with match sweat to wash away and agents to call. But can a non-playing Beckham … READ ON

Posted: 30th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Stephen King, TMZ, Britney Spears And Pakistan

stephen-king.jpgAS Tabloid Baby writes from LA on Stephen King, Britney Spears and Pakistan:

Novelist Stephen King went after the mainstream media for following the lead of the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com in covering inconsequential Britney Spears and Kanye West

READ ON

Posted: 29th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


There Goes Lewis Hamilton And Naomi Campbell

naomi-campbell.jpgLEWIS Hamilton is with Naomi Campbell.

Lewis is one of our “best loved sportsmen” (see all media), whereas Ms Campbell once topped a poll for the Most Hated Person is Britain and is famed for throwing hissy fits and telephones.… READ ON

Posted: 29th, November 2007 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Beckham’s Waxing On The Wane

biggins.jpgWITH David Beckham nearing the end of his football playing career, the world of waxing needs a new spokesman.

Step forward Chris Biggins, the I’m A Celebrity jungle camper. Says he, as heard by the Sun: “I sugar. It’s a … READ ON

Posted: 29th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lily Allen Thought Of The Day

TODAy Lily Allen says in the Mirror: “Of course I’m not going to retire. This was the biggest joke in my life and I just cannot believe people would actually believe this junk. I talk crap all the time…”

Lily … READ ON

Posted: 29th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Perez Hilton: Show Me Your Celebrity Porn And…

perez-hilton.jpgTHE Perez Hilton blog features the image of a celebrity’s penis. “You can Photoshop it all you want, honey. We know you have a puny peen!” says the “influential” blogger.

(Journalists like to think of Perez Hilton as being “influential” … READ ON

Posted: 28th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


JR Shot Her: Britney Spears Is Pregnant

britney-spears-pregnant.jpgOVER in the US, In Touch Weekly magazine reports that Britney Spears is with child.

Not Preston or Jayden, obviously – Unfitney is a nickname earned by matters of recorded testimony.

Britney is with an embryonic Spears – an inner … READ ON

Posted: 28th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0