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Celebrities

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

You Know You’re Not A Big Brother Star When…

A YEAR or so ago Pete ‘Wankers’ Bennett was the star of the show. But now this is for sale:

Welcome to the No1 Pete Bennett Fan Site!
This website is dedicated to Pete Bennett, his Fans and Tourette’s!

THIS WEBSITE / DOMAIN IS FOR SALE!!
2200 FORUM MEMBERS, NO.1 IN GOOGLE FOR ALL RELEATIVE SEARCH PHRASES, 1000’S OF VISITORS EVERY MONTH – INTERESTED?

Is anyone interested in Pete? Nikkkkkkkkki?

Posted: 16th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Thongs For Goalposts: Big Brother Nine-A Side

BOREDOM in the hosue. So up steps Carol to show us what she learnt in the Greenham Common wimmins’ (we-shall-not-be) movement. She knits a…football. The lumpenproletariat rejoice. Carole saves the day. Carole goes in goal. The fat kid goes in goal to ensure they will be picked. Or, in Carole’s case, that they won’t be… Carole to win at 26-1. Learn how to place your bet here. And how to get your FREE £10 bet here

Posted: 16th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s Sexism And Chanelle’s ‘Waggage’

IS this what the Suffragettes got their heads stoved in by horses hooves for?

The furore over racism has helped obscure the sexism that characterises this series and which nobody notices, doubtless in part because the women are such willing participants. Even before the Emily incident, the show reminded me of Clueless, Amy Heckerling’s update of Emma. Only now the target of parody is Jane Austen’s near contemporary, Mary Wollstonecraft: Big Brother, meet Sister Suffragette.

In her Vindication of the Rights of Women, Wollstonecraft objected to the lack of education that left women choosing between two forms of prostitution: the “common” form, streetwalking, or the “legal” form, marriage. Cue Big Brother contestant Chanelle, who aspires to our newest form, Waggage.

Posted: 16th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s Marketing Strategy With Jonathan Durden

YOU are the “clients”. The “business” is the celebrity. And know:

The lifeblood of what we, the suppliers of these marketing services, do as a matter of survival is to focus regularly upon winning new clients, or to defend existing business against ravenous rivals. It is a fickle sector where success or failure feels like constantly pulling on wet tissue paper, and where certain vital decisions are made subjectively or, on occasion, illogically.

He’s got it all worked out…

Posted: 16th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Big Brother Orgy Of…

jonathan-big-brother.jpg“BIG BROTHER ORGY BEGINS,” say the Star’s front-page headline.

The paper omits to say what this orgy consists of, and having watched Big Brother 8 since it began, Anorak suggests it’s an orgy of moaning, whining and bitching.

Of course there are four news housemates. Shabnam, who left with her backside exposed (Sun: “Shabnam gets bum’s rush”) has left and been replaced by Brian Belo, Liam McGough, Jonathan Durden, Billi Bhatti and .

Of course, what with them being lads, the orgy may be one of released gas, fighting and singing bawdy songs about ten German bombers and girls from Faliraki.

Or they could talk about rehab with Jonathan. As the Sun reports, “BIG Brother millionaire Jonathan Durden is nursing a secret heartache — the death of his wife.”

Who says you can’t fined entertainment in anything? And readers learn that madcap John’s wife of 18 years, Laura Naska Durden, was found dead in 2003 “after suffering from anorexia”.

He grew depressed. He checked into The Priory.

But he got better. And better. As a pal tells us: “He’s one of those mad, creative types who always live life on the edge. He became quite a hit with the ladies — he was very, very successful. His s******g exploits are legendary.”

We lean that he used “mind techniques” to bed women.

So we might get an altogether more risqué kind of orgy after all. Now if John can just locate Samanda’s mind…

Posted: 16th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Big Brother’s Shabnam Is Out

The motor-mouthed human irritant is the first housemate to be voted out. The remaining boys and girls will no doubt be looking forward to a little more peace and quiet.

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s Brian Belo

Good lord, the twins and indeed Charley are rather excited by the arrival of 19-year-old Brian. The Data Entry clerk and self-confessed ‘party boy’ has a look of 50 Cent about him and the ladies seem to like it. He apparently has imaginary friends.

Brian is a self confessed ‘Jack the lad’ who likes to dabble in a spot of cosmic ordering. He reckons he can self-hypnotize and deals with boredom by “talking to my imaginary hot girls”. Brian would like to think of himself as a wild child, but the thought of leaving home for university scares him. He’s a leader rather than a follower and an “original party boy with lots of sex appeal”.

Name: Brian
Age: 19
Home: Essex
Job: Data entry clerk
Starsign: Cancer

Status: Single

First Words: “That’s well pukka”

Life philosophy: “What goes around comes around”

Likes: Mike Skinner, Holly Valance and Big Brother!

Dislikes: Animals (scared of them), people who are too in your face and not getting his own way.

Why BB?: He wants to be a legendary housemate.

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (92)


Big Brother’s Liam McGough

Liam, 22, is apparently a ‘lad’. When he’s not working as a tree surgeon he indulges in laddish things like playing sport and erm, living with his parents. The twins seem to like him though, judging by the excited welcome they gave him.

Name: Liam
Age: 22
Home: Durham
Job: Tree Surgeon
Starsign: Cancer

Tall tree surgeon Liam is a bit of a ladies man and his chain-saw scars add to his rugged appeal. Good job really seeing as he’s covered in them. The easy-going 22-year-old thinks he’ll keep the other Housemates laughing, but don’t tell them about his night-time habit of sucking his thumb.

Status: Single

First Words: “Mental”

Life philosophy: “To enjoy life, and make sure others enjoy theirs.”

Likes: Family, reading, nights out with the lads, tact

Dislikes: Rudeness

Why BB?: He’s team-oriented and will cheer people up. Thinks he’ll win.

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (882)


Big Brother’s Jonathan Durden

The second new housemate is 49-year-old multi-millionaire media company director Jonathan. Looking like a chubby Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes To Hollywood fame, he apparently hates “dithering” and “injustice”.

Name: Jonathan
Age: 49
Home: London
Job: Founder and president of a media agency
Starsign: Libra

Big Brother career: A less showbizzy rehab centre.

Self-made millionaire Jonathan considers himself to be the “luckiest f***** on the planet” and a “lazy git”. The businessman and dad of two lives in London, is super-competitive, loves cars and says his mates think he looks like an oompa lumpa. Make of that what you will.

Status: Engaged.

First Words: “How bizarre”

Life philosophy: Chaos rather than fate. And “we are 96 per cent water and lucky.”

Likes: Cars, comedy, property, car mags.

Dislikes: Exercise.

Why BB?: He has never seen it.

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (24)


Big Brother’s Billi Bhatti

Now we know what happened to one-hit wonder Babylon Zoo. Billi, yes, that is with an ‘i’, is a long-haired pouting model who goes under the name of Massimo when working. He likes Page Three girls, apparently.

Name: Billi
Age: 25
Home: Middlesex
Job: Model
Starsign: Scorpio

Big Brother Career: Big Brother shagger.

Future: Lead part in Zoolander II

zoolander1.jpg

Billi is a successful model with a passion for WWF wrestling. His worst fear includes waking up with a shaved head. He says that “gorgeous girls, money and attention” make him happy. He is confident, admits to being vain and says looking out for himself is number one. He enjoys going to the gym and plays football regularly.

Status: Single

First Words: “Hello, I’m Billi”

Life philosophy: Believes that no matter what path he chooses to take he will be happy.

Likes: Moussaka, wrestling, Essex girls and American sitcoms.

Dislikes: Women who challenge him.

Why BB?: Is competitive and he wants to play against everyone.

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (158)


Big Brother Shabnam Hasn’t Got Talent, Has Dandruff

HERE’S Shabnam on “Britain’s Got More Talent”. Bring on the dancing dandrufff…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Shabnam’s Talented Dandruff

HERE’S the tape of double act Shabs ‘n’ Flakes on that Embarrassing Illness programme:

Itchy, flaky scalp? Why not cover it in make-up…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s Smoking Ban: Charley Spontaneosly Combusts

THE smoking ban comes into force on July 1. From that day on, Charley will be unable to stomp off into the garden for a fag. What release will she have from the stress of starting a row and being unable to finish it? Of course, Charley will do as she pleases. And be fined. She could even become the first person to flout the law. Who needs Big Brother with a lasting fame like that..?

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Free Betting Odds – Chanelle Favourite

AMID rumours that four new males will enter the house tonight, most prices have drifted. Most notably Gerry who has gone from 6.8 to 8.6 and Tracey who has gone from 8.2 to 9.8.

Chanelle is the new favourite and the only housemate to have significantly shortened, she has gone from 9.2 to 8.4.

Learn how to use your free £10 bet here.

With the first eviction taking place tonight, Shabnam is massive favourite at 1.04 and this price is only likely to shorten as her eviction is imminent.

The Eviction Percentage markets clearly show the public feel that even though there are three people up for eviction, Shabnam is likely to receive more than two-thirds of the vote with the first evictee receiving ‘Over 65 Percent’ of the vote priced at 1.16.

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s ‘Awesome Phwoar-Some’ And Cricket’s Finest Hour

charley.jpgTONIGHT four men will burst through the doors of the Big Brother house and like bulls entering the street of Pamplona cause mayhem.

Although there is every reason to believe Charley will pervert the natural order of things and be the one giving chase.

The “awesome phwoar-some” will be all good-looking lads, including a self-made millionaire, one who believes in Cosmic Ordering”, a professional cricketer and a male model.

“FOURPLAY,” says the Mirror. It too has heard the news and says the men are coming in to boost plummeting ratings.

But there is no cricketer, not in the Mirror. In this paper the master of bat and ball becomes a “tree surgeon”.

giddins.jpgMinds versed in such things fall upon the name Ed Giddins, the cricketer who was suspended from his sport for taking cocaine and suspended for five years for placing a bet on his county to lose a match. Giddins has been employed as a Christmas tree salesman.

And his arrival would be good news for Big Brother. Cricketers do well on reality TV shows. Phil Tufnell, the laconic England bowler nicknamed the “cat” on account of his feline ability to seemingly sleep through matches, was crowned King of the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here jungle.

And on Strictly Come Dancing, cricket has found its natural reality TV home. Darren Gough pulled on a tight bodice and cha-cha-cha-ed his way to victory and a recall to the England team.

And Mark Ramprakash delighted pro-celebrity ballroom enthusiasts on the same show, leaving his comfort zone in a series of spray-on outfits and shimmies.

If it is to be Giddins, then all well and good. And if he can dance down the wicket and dispatch Charley for six over the Big Brother fence, then so much the better…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Big Brother Danielle Lloyd Does Pamela Anderson

DANIELLE Lloyd, the Big Brother bully, is taking on the USA. So says the Star’s front page and readers look within to discover that “Dani does a Pammy!”

So here’s Danielle caching hepatitis and re-enacting an uncut scene from Porn-Mates of Caribbean with a rock group drummer. Not really.

What we get is Dani wearing a red swimsuit.

More to follow…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Apprentice’s Katie Does Big Brother

THE Big Brother Petri dish is alive with the cloned wannabes able to turn their hand to whatever the job demands. Whether it be screaming, shrieking or wearing a one-size-too-small bikini, they can do.

And now we read in the Mirror that Katie Hopkins, star of The Apprentice, features in an early Big Brother pilot. Readers get to see the top of her backside as she photocopies her “private parts”. What price her appearing on Britain’s Got Talent?

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother’s Gerry On Charley’s Health And Efficiency

gerry-big-brother.jpg“I AM against nudity,” says Gerry Stergiopoulos, the current favourite to win this year’s Big Brother. Back Gerry at 8-1 on Betfair.

“It should be kept in books or in dirty magazines to be used for recreational purposes, if you know what I mean. It’s trashy. I know I sound snobbish but that’s how I feel.”

With Charley and Chanelle in the house, the show looks like a multimedia version of Health And Efficiency magazine, the holiday brochure and lifestyle organ for nudist enthusiasts.

This is illustrated by the Star’s picture of Charley threatening to fall out of her top. So appalled is the Star by the sight of Charley’s ‘aunts’ that it orders “COVER THEM UP” – and this from the paper that advertises “Cheap and Dirty” phone lines and a “Granny Date” service.

The paper that produces a feature entitled “MUM’S THE WORD”, in which readers get to see the backsides to Charley, Sam, Nicky, Chanelle, Amanda and Gerry.

The paper that invites “rumpologist” Sam Amos to deliver his/her verdict on the view.

It seems that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their backside, most notable that they are walking away – which is something most of us would like Charley to do…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lily Allen Doesn’t Want To Be A Celebrity (Buy Her New Fashion Line)

LILY Allen keeps a blog. She uses it to tell the world and tabloid hacks how she doesn’t want to be a celebrity. Why do they stare? Why?

The thing is , im not going to write here so often now . this used to be one of my favourite things to do . I could come on here and vent how i feel honestly and get feedback from you guys . But the tabloid fucks have ruined it . Everything i write here gets twisted and rewritten buy a bunch of lazy fucks who havent got anything better to write about . And the truth is I don’t want to be in their fucking stupid magazines and daily fuck rags . Infact I hate it , i dont want to be a celebrity , I am a singer , I write songs , thats it . I don’t sleep and take drugs with famous people( i have a boyfriend ive been with for nearly 3 years ) , I don’t go to film premieres . I don’t go shopping in the paparazzi hotspots , so please leave me alone . Write about something interesting , and that actually needs to be alked about . I don’t want to live in a world where the most interesting thing is Paris Hilton and ” how shes doing in jail ” . Why do we care , seriously ? Guys the world is MELTING , we are KILLING innocent people , so we can steal their oil , killing them. 400000 people are dead and 2.5 million have no home in Darfur ………….. but then again Lindsay did work out at the gym this afternoon and thats what really counts .”

Has Lily written a song about the melting world?

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Tracey Not ‘Avin It

SAYS Tracey to Charley: “It may be my time to go. I’ve got my life to get on with.” Will she walk before Shabnam gets the boot?

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Betting Podcast

HAVE you opened a Betfair account yet? And taken Anorak’s deal of a FREE £10 bet. Details of it are here. Listen to tips and prices on our Podcast here.

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Michael Barrymore Arrested

WASN’T sure whether to put this in Twitterings or here in the Big Brother section:

From the Anorak Forums, AGW writes:

Three men have been arrested by police investigating the death of a man at the former home of TV star Michael Barrymore.

All three have been arrested on suspicion of murder and serious sexual assault. Stuart Lubbock, 31, was found by the swimming pool at the house in Roydon, near Harlow, Essex, in March 2001.

Police say one man was arrested the North-West the man was detained. The second man was arrested in the Midlands, also in custody, and a third in London.

Essex Police gave no further details but said the men were aged 37, 32 and 55. Police would not say if Michael Barrymore who is 55, was among those arrested.

Another story which seems to have run and run….

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


Big Brother’s Walk Out: Shabnam To Win

STILL time to bet on Shabnam remaining in the Big Brother compound.

With talk of a mass walk-out, there is reason to believe that one more outburst from Charley Itchea will cause Tracey, Nicky or Carole to walk out.

And Shabnam so wants to be famous. A friend tells us that the north Londoner produced a show reel. It cost her almost £1,000. This film of Shabnam interviewing a wannabe singer and ‘presenting’ from Leicester Square failed to do the job and no agent took her on.

But she carried on. Shabnam appeared on Britain’s Got Talent. She was fond lacking. A lack of skill in any of the performing arts is in itself no novelty among the celebrity clique and Shabnam carried on.

She showed us her dandruff on Channel Four’s Embarrassing Illnesses. Shabnam and her flaky scalp was a decent act, her best yet. But what if the condition cleared up? It’d be like loosing one part of a double act, Hale without Pace, Batman without Robin, Lindsay Lohan without rehab.

Undaunted, Shabnam reapplied the greasepaint, layering on another coat, then another, then topped it off with a light wood vanish.

In showbiz you need a thick skin to take the set-backs, and by our estimates Shabnam’s skin at a full inch deep.

Will she stay? She’s 390-1 to win the show. And you have a FREE £10 to spend with Betfair. Must be worth a couple of pounds…

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Big Brother Odds – Free Bet On Favourite Gerry

WITH a fortnight elapsed in the Big Brother house, it’s seemingly been a daily case of flip-flopping favourites.

After being backed into 7.4 yesterday, the lowest price of any housemate so far, Tracey has now been pushed out to 9.4 in light of her surprise nomination.

Though highly unlikely to be voted out by the Great British public – she is currently 65 to be the 1st evicted – perhaps punters would be wise to acknowledge that there may be only so long the wacky androgynous raver can do without her fix of happy hardcore and glow sticks.

With fellow nominee Carole at 16 to go, and yet to show her alleged Millie-Tant side, the bell appears to be tolling for the perennially short-circuiting Shabnam, who is a slender 1.1 to be voted out.

Replacing Tracey in pole position is newcomer Gerry, now into 8. Having pulled off a huge coup by bringing in both Dale Winton and Mick Hucknall, albeit poorly disguised with funny foreign accents, BB has provided the house with a double dose of the vital ingredient we have so far missed in this year’s wannabe pie.

Having got off to a shocker with his failed first night attempts as a prankster, Seany is slowly winning over fans (down to 25 from 40) and looks set to be this year’s court jester. But will the future be orange or simply red?

Elsewhere, the claws are out and the high heels are off as wagaholic Chanelle (2nd favourite at 8.8) and the ghetto fabulous Charley (hovering around the 95 mark) go head to head in a diva battle royale that could end up resembling Saturday night kicking out time on Tyneside.

Firmly in the caring arms of the soppy-faced Ziggy (currently 12.5), Chanelle has guaranteed herself not only a friend in the house but an audience with the BB viewers ever-willing to be gripped by a TV romance – this all clearly riling the attention-seeking Charley whose only friends appear to be Messers Lambert and Butler.

Who are you giong to back with your FREE bet?

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Indian Queen Jade Goody On Being ‘Horrible’ To Shilpa

BIG Brother bully Jade Goody is talking about Shilpa Shetty. Again. Says Jade: “I went to the slums in India where I now sponsor two charities. I was very moved to meet the people who lived there. They said to me, ‘You are the Queen. Shilpa hasn’t been back to see us. They talked about her in a really horribly way.” Jade’s kind of people…

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment