Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
ANDREW Lawrence writes on BBC bias in comedy:
Can’t help but notice increasingly, a lot ‘political’ comedians cracking cheap and easy gags about UKIP, to the extent that it’s got hack, boring and lazy very quickly. Particularly too much moronic, liberal back-slapping on panel shows like Mock The Week where aging, balding, fat men, ethnic comedians and women-posing-as-comedians, sit congratulating themselves on how enlightened they are about the fact that UKIP are ridiculous and pathetic…
Out of touch, smug, superannuated, overpaid TV comics with their cosy lives in their west-London ivory towers taking a supercilious, moralising tone, pandering to the ever-creeping militant political correctness of the BBC with their frankly surreal diversity targets…
There is a deeply ingrained militant liberal politics at every level of the BBC, despite the fact that it’s tax-payer funded and supposed to be neutral. It’s a biased organisation and the only sorts of political comedians that are welcome within its corridors are those that reflect it’s values.
IN San Francisco, artist Ben Venom recycles heavy metal t-shirts into handmade quilts.
Metal fans hould enjoy looking for familiar looking swatches:
RUSSELL Brand has but one rule in his book Revolution: be entertaining. The reams of bilge and opinion poured over his book is laughable. I never found Brand funny until now.
THE Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything features a face familiar to fans of Chelsea FC.
The doctor is played by none other than Frank Leboeuf, star of such hits as Taking Sides (2001) and Le foot fait son cinéma (2003).
He tells the Radio Times:
In France I can’t audition because they still think I’m a footballer and don’t take me seriously. But in England they’ve given me the opportunity. I shot two movies here last year, Allies and The Theory of Everything. They give me a chance to show my new skill, and I’m thankful for that. People said very stupid things: they say, “Oh, every football player wants to act.” But there are only three really: Vinnie Jones, Eric Cantona and myself.
CLAUDIA Winkleman is on the front pages. Her eight-year-old daughter, Matilda, has been taken to hospital on Friday after her Halloween costume caught alight.
The Strictly Come Dancing presenter has since issued a statement:
“Our daughter was involved in an accident on Friday night while celebrating Halloween. She is having the best care possible and we are hopeful of a full recovery. We would like to thank everyone that has been so supportive and particularly the NHS doctors, nurses and staff who have been absolutely incredible. We would like to take this opportunity to remind anyone taking part in fireworks parties or Guy Fawkes celebrations to be vigilant about the dangers of candles, open fires and fireworks and to be please have the appropriate safety measures in place and to hand.”
OPEN Culture writes on Slavoj Žižek’s home decor:
How to react to celebrity academic Slavoj Žižek? You could see him as a wild-eyed visionary and grow infatuated with his powerful-sounding ideas about power, violence, cinema, psychoanalysis, and perversion. Or you could see him as a Pied Piper for delusional graduate students and grow enraged at his perpetuation of fashionable nonsense. But you’d do best, I would argue, to take him simply as a source of entertainment. How could you do otherwise, watching the above clip from Astra Taylor’s documentary Žižek!? In these three minutes, the sweating Sublime Object of Ideology author gives us a tour of his pad, spending much time and excitement on his kitchen repurposed as a closet: clothes and sheets in the cupboards, socks in the drawers. “I am a narcissist. I keep everything,” he pronounces, having moved onto the shelves and shelves of his own work, from the pamphlets of his “dissident days” to his latest books in Japanese translation.
He says of thge Stalin poster stuck to a wall:
“My big worry is not to be ignored, but to be accepted. Of course, it’s not that I’m simply a Stalinist. That would be crazy, tasteless, and so on. But obviously there is something in it that it’s not simply a joke. When I say the only change is that the left appropriates fascism and so on, it’s not a cheap joke. The point is to avoid the trap of standard liberal oppositions: freedom versus totalitarian order, and so on, to rehabilitate notions of discipline, collective order, subordination, sacrifice, all that. I don’t think this is inherently fascist.
YOUTUBER jonofthesouth showcases the house music dancers moving to the beat of holiday camp music:
Take it away, Reginald Dixon and the Wurlitzer Theatre Organ enthusiasts:
JAMIE Jungers was one of golfer Tiger’s Woods’ alleged extra-marital play arounds. After the story of Woods’ sex life broke, he went into hiding, swapping his trademark red shirt for luminous orange and pink plaid and retreating into the golf pack, most of whom have never had sex but welcomed Woods as one of their own.
The women came forward to tell of sex with the Tiger. Our favourite was a cocktail waiterss called Jaimee Grubbs, whose name fitted the story of low-life deeds in seedy places. Kalika Moquin and hostess Rachel Uchitel added to the pot of exotica. Were the names made up by a Damon Runyan fan?
STUART MacBeth reviews UB40 for the Oxford Mail:
You may, at this point, wonder when I’m going to tell you what the UB40 gig was like.
For the first 90 minutes this gig was like being at a funeral, waiting for a coffin to turn up. The band looked bored. And by the end my mother’s old adage rings true: “if you haven’t got anything good to say… don’t say anything at all”.
At the end, when it was finally over, my girlfriend and I met up with a couple of friends who’re from Jamaica. We all went to the Hi-Lo Jamaican bar, down the road, and spent a couple of hours listening to reggae. A breath of fresh air.
In 1958 musician Jerry Lee Lewis arrived in London. By his side was his a 13-years-old. She was his first cousin. She was also his new wife Myra Lewis Williams. Now living in Atlanta, Myra is talking with Cuepoint.
After thirteen years of marriage, they were divorced in 1970, when Myra charged that she “has been subject to every type of physical and mental abuse imaginable”; Jerry Lee later said that “it was all my fault—she caught me cheating.” When we met, she described their relationship as a “successful divorce,” though more recently it seems they’ve been clashing over his current, seventh wife.
REASONS to like Arnold Schwarzenegger No. 3458:
RUSSELL Brand, age 39, has written Revolution, a book dedicated ‘To the divine, mischievous spark in you”.
Craig Brown reviews in the Mail:
‘Russell Brand wants YOU to join the Revolution’ is the pithy way his publishers, Century, put it. Oddly enough, Century is a part of Penguin Random House, itself a division of the German media conglomerate Bertelsmann and Pearson PLC, the largest education company and book publisher in the world, and owners of the Financial Times…
And the nominations for the worst London accent are…
Dick van Dyke (Mary Poppins)
The mother lode. To quote his song, ‘even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious’, there is something supercalifragilisticexpialidocious about Dick’s seminal cockney performance…
TLC has called time on the Roald Dahl docu-drama Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo because reports suggest child star Honey Boo-Boo’s mother, one “Mama June” , is currently dating convicted child molester Mark McDaniel.
This charming man served 10 years jail time for having forced oral sex on an 8-year-old girl.
TLC thought broadcasting the show featuring mum’s new lover would be a step too far. After all, the Boo Boo clan are paid, and some of TLC’s cash might end up in McDaniel’s pockets.
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WHAT are we offered for a mini cab sat once sat in by Adam Ant, Mr Prince Charming himself?
I gave Adam Ant a lift in my car on 3/5/10 here is the seat he used on the journey. Selling this as my car is off to scrapyard next week. Happy bidding on a rare item. Message me for details, it’s collection only though.
For more Adam Ant oddness, take a look at this...
ALVIN Stardust taught the kids to cross the road carefully and that you can rhyme “Love-a-me too” with “my coo ca choo”.
RENEE Zellweger has a face. This sensation has been heralded in the news media.
In the Times, it;’s tlaking pioint. Carole Midgley says:
Shame on Renée Zellweger. Seriously: what is her problem? She has been a female on this Earth for 45 years now and that’s plenty long enough to have learnt the rules… You must at all times pull off the impossible. Got that? You must be a 24/7 magician. For whether you’re on the red carpet or putting out your bins, you must look eternally young and perfect.
But here’s the crucial thing: you must never betray any sign that you may have tried to make yourself look young and perfect. No, no, no. This won’t do at all. Trying is ugly; risible. Your age-defying beauty, perfect figure, line-free face and lustrous hair must appear effortless.
She refers to the “spite-filled headlines and comments”, the “massive bitch”, that Zellweger has been “pilloried and mocked”.
THE news today is that supermodel Cara Delevingne has hired Pharrell Williams to give her what she needs as she makes her musical bow.
A source told The super soaraway Sun: “They’re going to release the song without warning, complete with video and global launch. They seem to have formed a great little writing collective and apparently it’s a huge song.”
FLORIDA mums (at least one of them) says it’s wrong that Breaking Bad toys and meth (accrding to the Sun) are being sold in branches of Toys R Us.
Bryan Cranston responds:
SCOTT Ian of Anthrax on meeting Lemmy for the first time. Language is spicy.
LYNDA Bellingham, born Meredith Lee Hughes; 31 May 1948 – 19 October 2014:
Harry Worth and Lynda Bellingham rehearse at the Phoenix Theatre in London in the new West End comedy, “Norman, is that you?”. Date: 08/04/1975
READY for Christmas? Ready for your seasonal sweater?
Mondo have greated designs based on the 1984 film Gremlins and the 1996’s Fargo.
FURTHER evidence of pop star’s wit and wisdom comes via the mouth of Ariana Grande, who tells us:
“I love drinking water — and I want to inspire my fans to do the same”.