I boarded a jet plane this past Friday and traveled 16 hours through the night to Washington, D.C. I was back on a plane again on Monday morning flying the reverse 16 hours back home. I was in Washington with over 40,000 other protesters for the Forward on Climate Rally …
LILY Cole, the actress and model was talking to OK! about her eco-mission to the Amazon. She did it to highlight the plight of the rainforest. She also did to to find an inner and outer calm:
“Deep in the forest, my mobile phone doesn’t work. It feels great to disconnect. They should make an area of London where you can get no phone service, so people can just disconnect for a while!”
There is, Lily. Wapping. The stairwell at Metropolitan Wharf, between floors 3 and 4. See you there, Lily. Bring yoga mats.
IT occurred to us that Eurovison might be a rich tablet of talent, but it comes round only once a year. Time to look five forgotten European gems:
Armi Ja Danny – I Want To Love You Tender
WHEN Seth MacFarlane presented the Oscars, he gave the bookers what they wanted: boobs and simple comedy that would get the young uns tuned in, and give the liberal elite who run Hollywood something to hang their credentials on.
Created by Smash the Patriarchy on B3ta:
WHEN Oscars host Seth MacFarlane sang a song about boobs seen in films, did you cringe? This is the Oscars, that self-congratulatory AGM to end them all. If you buy into the love-in, are your cringe-proof?
(How odd is it that the sexist film business that employs casting directors by the score managed to cast a man who says controversial fratboy things. Was it all ironical? Was it a parody on chauvinism? So goes the debate. But the fact is that the punchlines were women.)
…it came as little surprise, then, when base misogyny and racism dominated MacFarlane’s performance on Sunday. And while the musical opener “We Saw Your Boobs” has been called immature (true) and sexist (also true) — it wasn’t just a harmless roundup of spicy movie scenes. Four of the films MacFarlane crooned about featured nudity during or immediately following violent depictions of rape and sexual assault, stripped of their context and played for laughs. Scarlett Johansson found herself on the list because of a real-life violation: Her nude photos were stolen from her phone and leaked online.
Oh, your privacy was invaded and your breasts were splashed across the Internet against your will? That is hilarious!
RECENTLY, Harry Styles of One Direction, was pelted in the wang by a stray shoe, thrown from his beloved audience. This writer himself has thrown an errant trainer at The Prodigy, missing the target (Keef) by some distance and hitting the drummer’s cymbal at Reading ’96 (if you have a recording of the show, listen out for it during Poison).
Of course, this kind of behaviour is not to be cheered at… mostly. It is wilfully stupid behaviour, but alas, is all part of the rock ‘n’ roll circus.
Some musicians get bras and drugs thrown at them, which is very nice. Most however, aren’t too pleased with what comes their way.
With that, let us look at some of the most brutal bottlings and weirdest missiles aimed toward people just trying to earn a living.
TELLY’S Jason Manford exposed himself on a webcam as he paid £60 for cybersex with a stripper.
WHAT’S A Rap Attack. Mr Whodini? With their Magic’s Wand, Jalil Hutchins, Ecstasy (John Fletcher) and Grandmaster Dee (Drew Carter) will show you:
ANYONE keen to see One Direction’s lead hair, Harry Styles, getting hit in the balls can enjoy this gif:
And this video:
YOU’VE heard the same arguments against pop music time and time again, never once getting any more original, witty or incisive – ‘pop music isn’t real music’. Usually, these gripes come from crashingly dull indie bands who think they’re part of something more ‘real’ or ‘better’ because they’re stupid enough to believe that picking up a guitar and playing the same 4 chords every other indie band is playing, is somehow more valuable than anything else.
FRENCH actor Gerard Depardieu has relocated from France to Russia. It’s the ultimate celebrity travelogue. Stuff going down the Nile by boat with Joanna Lumley, traversing the Sahara with Ewan McGregor on a bike or Sue Johnston’s search for Shangri-La in Tibet. That charabanc of jobbing celebrities showing us the exotic through tourists’ eyes and the locals’ emotions has been smashed by Depardieu, who has set up home somewhere foreign and unusual. It turns out that the exotic and bizarre is not reached by Mylene Klass making a charity trip to the Philippines or Paul Merton buying a Pith helmet in India, but by a simple three-hour flight to Moscow.
How’s he getting along?
IN 1966, Woody Allen fought a kangaroo at the Hippodrome. The Australian light heavyweight champion is in the brown shorts:
THERE’S a campaign over in the US to get Piers Morgan deported. The White House has an online petitions system and once they get 25,000 signatures then they promise to, well, to say something about it, at least. As you can see here, it’s well past that number now. (Curent tally: 109, 334.)
FACE it – The Bee Gees are one of the greatest groups to ever cut a record ever. Their back catalogue is simply astonishing, running through psychedelia, concept albums, disco, pop and not to mention all the great songs they wrote for other.
Now, mix that with the breathtaking body of work made by Michael Jackson and you have something that is quite giddifying.
Okay, Dangerous was the last time Jackson did anything of note and the Bee Gees haven’t made a decent record since You Win Again, but y’know, before that, they were unstoppable. Right?
The two camps got their weird faces together and recorded a song called ‘All In Your Name’, and the video (which you can watch below) shows them in the studio together, writing and recording the track.
“Michael Jackson and I were the dearest of friends, that’s simply what it was. We gravitated towards the same kind of music and we loved collaborating and he was the easiest person to write with.”
“The more we got to know each other the more those ideas entwined and it all came to this song ‘All In Your Name’. “All in Your Name” is in fact the message that Michael wanted to send out to all of his fans all over the world that he did it all for them and for the pure love of music. I hope and pray that we all get to hear it in its entirety. This experience I will treasure forever.”
So have a listen. It isn’t very good, but still.
IN 1987, the US Postal Service produced a stamp to honour William Faulkner. Before he was a man of letters, Faulkner was delivering letters. Between 1921 to 1924, he worked as the University of Mississippi’s postmaster. He didn’t enjoy it. This is, reportedly, his resignation letter:
As long as I live under the capitalistic system, I expect to have my life influenced by the demands of moneyed people. But I will be damned if I propose to be at the beck and call of every itinerant scoundrel who has two cents to invest in a postage stamp.
This, sir, is my resignation.
(Signed by Faulkner)
THE Onion called 9-year-old Best Actress Oscar nominee Quvenzhane Wallis a c*nt. The Onion tweeted:
Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a c*nt, right? #Oscars2013
DID Bon Jovi plagiarise the sond of goats on their massive hit Livin’ On A Prayer? Surel;y they did. Also note the aping of the goats’ hair, coats and groupie techniques:
THE Oscars are over. The men unzip their hair. The women breathe – some every think about eating. The winners beam. The losers go home and mirrors. The show was decent enough, the jokes were a bit flat but the unintentional funnies knocked them bandy. What was life like backstage? We can show you what goes on behind the curtain on Oscar night. Look out for Jennifer Aniston getting off with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Lawrence falling over, Charlize Theron reclining without her mask (we saw her real face in Monster) and Ben Affleck telling George Clooney “Not anxious to die sir, just anxious to matter.”
** EMBARGOED AT THE REQUEST OF THE ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURE ARTS & SCIENCES FOR USE UPON CONCLUSION OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS TELECAST ** Charlize Theron appears backstage at the Oscars at the Dolby Theatre on Sunday Feb. 24, 2013, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Matt Sayles/Invision/AP)
IN 1967, Sandra Dodd, a 14-year-old fan living in the USA wrote to David Bowie. Would Bowie be interested in endorsing her efforts to start a USA fanclub? The 20-year-old Bowie took the time to reply.
I hope one day to get to America. My manager tells me lots about it as he has been there many times with other acts he manages. I was watching an old film on TV the other night called “No Down Payment” a great film, but rather depressing if it is a true reflection of The American Way Of Life. However, shortly after that they showed a documentary about Robert Frost the American poet, filmed mainly at his home in Vermont, and that evened the score. I am sure that that is nearer the real America.
<ahref=”http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/12/my-real-name-is-david-jones.html”>Letters of Note
THE OSCARS 2013 – the pick of the lines:
Anne Hathaway: “Here’s hoping that sometime in the not-too-distant future, the misfortunes of Fantine will only be found in stories – and not in real life.”
Because Les Miserables is a fly-on-the-wall documentary.