Tom Crusie & Katie Holmes
SOME say she has a full beard and a constantly winking third eye. Others say she is has claws and talks in Medieval Dutch.
Dad Tom Cruise says his daughter Suri has “thick black hair”, but the Enquirer, which reproduces this detail does not specify where this hair is, and more rumours suggest it might be on her palms or tongue.
As the magazine says, it’s been three months since Suri Holmes-Cruise came to live among us. And we have not seen hide nor black hair of her. And this is, apparently, leading to problems.
“Tom & Katie TORN APART OVER BABY LIES!” thunders the magazine’s headline. “SECRECY SURROUNDING INVISIBLE INFANT PUTS STRAIN ON MARRIAGE.”
She’s invisible? Is this why we haven’t seen her? Could Suri be in the magazine’s pictures of Tom and Katie Holmes? Perhaps only they who truly believe can see? We just don’t know.
But an insider says whatever the truth, Tom and Katie are feeling the pressure. “Tom’s total obsession with secrecy has sparked a host of bizarre lies and fabrications that threaten to tear the couple apart,” says the source, described as a “Hollywood insider”.
This source then goes on to tells us about the “most outrageous” rumour of all: “the baby isn’t Tom’s – that somehow Katie was impregnated with the frozen sperm of long-dead Scientology founder L. Ron. Hubbard.”
This is, of course, ridiculous. But still the rumours come. And we try to believe…