Lindsay Lohan Works Like A Trojan

AS smoking guns go, Lindsay Lohan’s shopping list would struggle to fire a little shard of potato shrapnel.

The Enquire has “obtained” a receipt from the actress’s recent sojourn to a convenience store in Los Angeles.

Looking at the piece of till role, we do indeed note that the name “Lindsay Lohan” appears at the bottom. We also see that “THE CUSTOMER AGREES TO PAY THE ABOVE TOTAL AMOUNT ACCORDING TO THE CARD HOLDERS AGREEMENT”.

There are also “FRESH COOKIES DAILY”, of which you can buy three for… Well, we may never know. The Enquirer has seen fit to obscure this vital nugget of information behind a packet to Unisom SleepTabs (ask for them by namezzzzz).

A packet of these “sleep aid pills” features on the Lohan shopping list. So too does a giant box of Trogan MAGNUM “LARGER SIZE CONDOMS”. We may never know what three cookies cost but a trio of lubricated fun-size Johnnies retail for $3.69.

Condoms and sleeping tablets, eh? What’s all that add up to? “Now, sure we could speculate about what that all adds up to,” says the Enquirer, “but we’ll leave that to you, our loyal readers and dedicated Hollywood watchers.”

Dedicated. Us? Hardly. We are mere flibbertygibbets when compared to the Enquirer’s Robin Mizrahi, who uses his/her star-gazing talent to dissect the Lohan bill.

And that’s the bill that includes: Diet Coke, Honey Nut Cheerios, Doritos, a ready-made cheese and ham sandwich in a box, headache tablets, macaroni and cheese, Ginseng Energy Now pills and three bottles of wine.

Yes, we thought so too - no, not that 20-year-old Lindsay is not yet old enough to drink legally but that it’s truly amazing what Americans can buy in one small, local shop.

And for $158.71!

Anorak

Posted: 4th, August 2006 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink