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Simon Cowell Spits Not Swallows At Sinitta’s House

simon_cowell.jpgTHE life of Simon Cowell, as told by 1980s pop sensation Sinatta in Now magazine. Cowell is godfather to Sinitta’s new adopted children Magdalena and Zac:

“He’s made it his sole purpose to disrupt and undermine everything I have taught them! When there’s something they don’t want to eat, Simon will take it and spit it on the floor, so of course they copy him.”

Look out for Magdelena and Zac pulling up their nappies over their nipples, whitening their teeth with TipEx and telling mum she sounds like a badger wth its testicles caught in Randy Jackson’s flies…

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3 Responses to “Simon Cowell Spits Not Swallows At Sinitta’s House”

  1. noseycow Says:

    How shocking! I hope he clears his own mess up!! ;)

  2. Karen Says:

    How come this is in the Madeleine section?

    Did Hideki write that headline? :shock:

  3. Mick The Dick Says:

    At least he is able to spit, not having his tongue wrapped around someone’s ass in homage.

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